‘I had ‘flu.’ She could stand on her own now, avoiding all the curious faces of the people who were wondering what the owner of the Global News was doing fussing over the near-faint of a Daily Probe reporter, and calling her ‘Julie’ instead of the more formal ‘Miss Slater’ of a moment ago.
‘Connie mentioned it,’ he still frowned. ‘But that was weeks ago.’ She shrugged. ‘It’s lingering on.’
‘You look ill-‘
‘I’m fine. And have you forgotten we have an audience?’ she warned softy, conscious u his hand still caressing her cheek.
His eyes flashed angrily. ‘Damn the lot of them! I want to talk to you—’
‘Not here, Zack,’ she agonised, moving away from him. ‘If you’ll excuse me, Mr Reedman,’ she said loudly for their listening audience, ‘I’ll go home and rest. I’m sorry to have interrupt you.’
‘Julie-‘
‘Steve?’ she prompted, ignoring Zack as Steve accompanied her out of the room, her head high as she heard the buzz of conversation suddenly start behind her.
Steve grabbed her arm once they were outside, stopping her progress. ‘Are you really all right?’ he frowned. ‘You look terrible.’
‘What a boost to my ego you are!’ she taunted, pressing the button for the lift. ‘Do you think I have enough for a story?’ She chewed on her lip. ‘Doug is going to love me!’
‘Don’t you ever think of anything but work?’ Steve growled as they went down to the ground floor. ‘You just fainted—’
‘Almost fainted,’ she corrected coolly. ‘I told you, it was hot in there.’
‘It was normal—’
Julie shrugged. ‘It didn’t seem it to me. Let’s yet back to the office, I have to get this story written up.’
‘Julie-‘
‘Please, Steve, just leave it.’
‘It was rough on you, wasn’t it?’ he asked shrewdly.
‘What was?’
‘Meeting Reedman like that. Doug doesn’t know just what a star reporter he has,’ he derided.
Julie didn’t bother to answer him. She and Sieve had worked together several times during the last few weeks, and for the main part it had gone well. It was only occasionally, like now, that he allowed his bitterness to interfere with their working relationship.
It was late when she finally left the paper. Most of the staff who had come on with her this morning had left for the day long ago, but then most of them had someone or something to go home to. She had never been so conscious of her lack of family, of emotional ties, as she had been lately.
The flat seemed as unwelcoming as usual, the liver she had put out for her dinner even more so. She ate the latter with a green salad, mainly because she knew the doctor would be annoyed with her if she wasn’t fit and well the next time she visited him. He was taking every care of her and the baby.
She deliberately kept thoughts of Zack at bay, wouldn’t allow herself to dwell on the meeting with him earlier. Although meetings like that hadn’t occurred during the last three years she had always been conscious that they could, and it was only good luck that had meant they hadn’t. But she was aware that with them both being in the newspaper world the chance happenings could happen again.
What was going to happen when the baby was born she daren’t even think. Other single parents managed, so why shouldn’t she? She wasn’t exactly poor. She would survive somehow, and without Zack’s help.
When the doorbell rang and interrupted her worrying she could only feel relief, although when she saw it was Zack that relief turned to apprehension.
‘What do you want?’ She was instantly hostile.
He was still wearing the pin-striped suit, still looked as dark and distinguished. ‘Where the hell have you been?’ he attacked. ‘I’ve been calling you all evening!’
Her eyes widened. ‘I’ve been home at least half an hour.’
‘And I’ve been travelling here that amount of time.’ He scowled. ‘For all I knew you could have been a crumpled heap on the floor.’
‘Injured and unable to call for help?’ she scorned, to hide her nervousness. She looked a, mess, her hair needed combing, her skirt and blouse were crumpled from a day’s wear, and she was very conscious of her untidiness in the lace of Zack’s impeccable appearance.
‘You could have been,’ he snapped, his eyes narrowed to grey slits. ‘After your behaviour earlier I wasn’t sure how you were.’
‘I’ve been working, your story—remember?’
He shook his head in disgust. ‘You never stop, do you?’
‘Never,’ she agreed fiercely.
‘And you are all right now?’ His gaze searched her face. ‘You still look pale.’
‘Concern, Zack?’ she mocked.
‘Of course I’m concerned—’
‘I don’t see why. You haven’t given a damn about me the last three years, so why worry now when I feel a little faint?’
‘You still feel ill?’ he pounced.
‘Oh, for God’s sake!’ she gave an angry sigh. ‘We women have these little—complexities, you know.’
‘I see,’ he nodded. ‘But that’s all it is?’
‘Yes.’
His mouth twisted derisively, his eyes mocking. ‘Can I come in, or do I have to stand on the doorstep all evening?’
Her grip on the door tightened. ‘Haven’t we spoken enough already? You’ve satisfied yourself that I’m not prostrate on the floor, don’i you have somewhere else to go now?’
‘Nowhere that I would rather be.’ He gently pushed the door open and went through to the lounge. ‘This really is a nice flat,’ he looked about him appreciatively. ‘I didn’t have the chance to look around last time I was here.’
‘You were too busy throwing out accusations.’ Julie had followed him, watching as he slowly walked around the room.
‘Yes, I was, wasn’t I?’ Zack suddenly looked at her. ‘And then Carter arrived. Is he coming here tonight?’
‘I—No, not tonight.’
‘Then you—Oh damn!’ he swore as he kicked into her handbag as it lay next to the armchair, going down on his haunches to pick up the things that had fallen out on to the carpet. ‘You always did have a habit of leaving these damned things lying about,’ he muttered.
Julie bent down to help him. ‘And you always had a habit of kicking them.’ She snatched up a container of pills before he did, pushing them to the bottom of the bag.
‘Sleeping pills?’ he asked sharply.
‘No,’ she answered truthfully, the iron pills I he doctor had given her to take during her pregnancy now safely buried at the bottom of her bag. ‘Just something the doctor gave me after my ‘flu.’
Zack seemed to accept that they were vitamins or something like that, and got to his feet to pace the room moodily, his hands thrust into his trouser pockets.
Julie watched him, seeing the different emotions flickering across his face. ‘Look, Zack,’ she sighed. ‘I think you should go. I really am feeling fine now. And I must say your concern comes as something of a surprise after—well, after—I haven’t heard from you for weeks.’
‘Since we spent the night together,’ he held her gaze steadily. ‘That’s what I want to talk to you about.’
‘Oh yes?’ Once again she was wary.
‘Yes,’ he sighed. ‘I can’t stand it any more, Julie. I’m going quietly insane. I want you, and I have to have you.’ He looked at her with tortured eyes, a pulse beating erratically in his hard cheek. ‘Can you understand that?’
Yes, she could understand that. And hope began to fill her heart as she saw the naked desire in his eyes. Maybe there was hope for them after all, maybe if she could talk to him, explain about the past, tell him about—
He drew in a ragged breath. ‘So I’ve come here tonight willing to offer you what you always wanted.’
Julie frowned. ‘What I—always wanted?’ she voiced uncertainly.
‘Yes,’ he hissed. ‘You always wanted an affair. Our on
e night together showed me one thing, Julie—we’re still explosive in bed together. So, you always wanted an affair- well, now I do too. I want an affair with you, Julie.’
CHAPTER 7
‘—What did you say?’ Julie choked disbelievingly ‘I want you, Julie. I want an affair with you.’
She searched his granite-like features, the hard grey eyes, the flaring nostrils, and set compressed mouth, the firm thrust of his jaw, the very stance of his body, and knew that, he meant this horror. Zack meant it, he wanted an affair with her!
‘No!’ she rasped.
‘No?’ he choked.
‘You heard me,’ she flashed. ‘Just what do you think I am—’
‘I know what you are, Julie,’ he groaned. ‘You’re beautiful, desirable, and I badly need to make love to you again. I fought it—God, how I fought it!’ His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. ‘After our anniversary, after I saw you again, I began to want you. I tried to put you from my mind, but no matter what I did, where I went, who I was with, I was always imagining it was you.’
‘Teresa—’
‘Guessed,’ he sighed. ‘And when I cried out your name instead of hers one night…! She quite righty told me to get out until I have you out of my system.’
‘I’m sorry if you feel I’ve ruined things be tween you and Teresa,’ Julie told him stiffly. ‘But that’s no reason to come here and insult me.’
‘Insult you?’ he repeated harshly. ‘Admitting how badly I want to make love to you is insulting you?’
‘Yes!’ she glared at him. ‘I’m a person, not some commodity you can buy simply because you want it!’
‘Buy?’ he repeated softly. ‘What price do you put on yourself, Julie?’
A red haze passed in front of her eyes, not of weakness this time but of burning anger. ‘I don’t have a price,’ she snapped. ‘Have you forgotten that you’ve already had me, free, gratis, for nothing?’
Zack was grey beneath his tan. ‘It was that single night with you that showed me I have a long way to go to get you out of my system. I thought that one night would be enough, that the hunger that had been eating me up for days would finally go away. Instead it’s increased, made it impossible for me to think of anything else.’
‘And you’ve decided an affair is the answer to this hunger,’ she said dully.
‘Yes,’ he rasped harshly.
‘And just how long would you expect the— affair to last? A week, a month, a year?’ Her voice cracked with anger.
‘As long as it takes!’ he snapped. ‘How the hell do I know?’
‘And what do I get out of it?’”
‘Me.’
Her eyes widened incredulously. ‘You?’
‘Yes, me,’ his mouth twisted. ‘You can’t have forgotten that you enjoyed that night together as much as I did.’
Colour blazed in her cheeks. ‘I should have known you would throw that in my face—’
‘I’m not throwing it in your face,’ Zack sighed, running a weary hand over his eyes. ‘We were always good together physically. I don’t think either of us would ever deny that.’
‘Maybe not. But I’ve tried living with you, Zack, and I don’t like it.’
‘You wouldn’t be living with me. We would continue to live separately.’
‘And you would just pop over here every time you feel like making love to me,’ she derided.
‘No,’ he flushed. ‘Because if I did that I would be living here. We could meet whenever it’s mutually convenient.’
‘Whenever you can get away from Teresa?’
‘Teresa?’ he frowned. ‘I always told you’
‘Surely now that you’ve decided an affair with me is the answer you can go ahead with your plans to marry Teresa?’ she scorned, ‘I don’t think that would be a very good idea,’ he said distantly. ‘For God’s sake, Julie, stop making this difficult for me!’
‘For you?’ she exclaimed disbelievingly, ‘You come here under the pretense of enquiring after my health, and end up offering me an affair, and I’m supposed to make things easy for you!’
Zack looked angry too now. ‘I’m sure you didn’t have this difficulty in arranging your affairs with Clarke and Carter.’
‘I didn’t have an affair with Alec!’ Her voice was shrill. ‘That one time you found me in his arms I was crying because I’d had an argument with you. Maybe I should have had an affair with him, maybe then I wouldn’t have given a damn about your accusations. At least they would have been true!’
‘And Carter?’
She stiffened. ‘I don’t intend telling you anything about Steve and myself. Alec you have a right to an explanation about—although God knows I’ve made it often enough! Steve came after our separation, so he’s none of your business. I will say this, though, there was never any affair arranged between us. In case you didn’t know it, those sort of things are supposed to happen spontaneously.’
‘And did they happen—spontaneously, often?’
‘As often as we both wanted them to!’
‘What’s so different about my proposal?’
The fact that it wasn’t a proposal! Having been Zack’s wife she couldn’t accept anything less from him. ‘The answer is no, Zack,’ she told him woodenly.
‘Why?’ He pulled her round to face him. ‘You enjoyed that night we spent together two months ago as much as I did.’
‘That doesn’t mean I want to repeat it,’ she snapped.
‘Don’t you? Don’t you really?’ he said softly, pulling her closer and closer to him. ‘I think I can prove to you that you do.’
‘No!’ she began to struggle. ‘Zack, no!’
‘Julie, I have to. Believe me, I can’t stop myself,’ he murmured against her throat. ‘If I could, I would. You’re driving me insane,’ his hands ran feveretly over her body. ‘I remember, I remember—God, how I remember!’
She pushed away from him as his lips would have claimed hers. ‘And I remember what it was like being with you last time—the jealousy the suspicion, the oppression—’
‘It wouldn’t be like that this time. W wouldn’t make any claims on each other ‘We won’t, because there isn’t going to be an affair.’ She turned away from him, her hands shaking with reaction. ‘I want you to leave, Zack. And I don’t want you to come back.’
He gave a ragged sigh. ‘I can’t stay away.’
‘Then I won’t let you in.’
‘I could camp out on your doorstep.’
‘Then I’ll go away,’ she said desperately.
‘No!’ his voice was sharp. ‘Don’t do that, Julie. Maybe we could have dinner one even ing—’
She shook her head. ‘That wouldn’t be a good idea.’
‘We could talk-‘
‘And after we’d talked you would expect to be asked to share my bed!’
A pulse beat erratically at his jaw. ‘Don’t despise me for wanting you, Julie,’ he rasped.
‘I don’t,’ she sighed. ‘I just—Even an affair with you is too much.’
‘You hate me that much?’ He paled.
‘I don’t think it was ever hate, Zack. I’ve been angry, hurt, but I don’t think there was ever real hate there.’
Then I won’t give up,’ he decided firmly. ‘You should know by now, Julie, I can be very determined.’
‘Yes,’ she acknowledged ruefully.
‘Then expect to see a lot of me in future,’ he warned on his way out.
Expect to see a lot of him! How could she do that when she was expecting his baby? Another month and it would really begin to .how on her slender frame. She would have to get away before that happened.
Zack kept his word not to give up, seeming to know her actions before Julie knew them herself, often picking her up from work if she happened to work late. At first she had refused, claiming the quite valid excuse of having her own car with her, but then her MG had to go in for servicing, and for several days she was left without a car. Zack seemed to know as if
my magic, and turned up at her flat that first morning, taking her to and from work the whole of the week her car was off the road.
He appeared at Connie and Ben’s when she went down for a visit too, even turned up at her flat one Saturday afternoon to take her shopping.
‘I remember you like to shop on a Saturday afternoon.’ He turned to smile at her, having made her an unwilling passenger in his car once again.
‘You really will have to stop this, Zack,’ she sighed. ‘I see more of you now than I did when we were married,’ she added ruefully.
‘Considering I only saw you fifty-six days of our year of marriage that wouldn’t be too difficult,’ he told her in a steely voice.
‘Fifty-six…? I don’t believe that!’ she gasped.
‘I counted them, Julie,’ he said bleakly. I can even give you dates if you want them.’
‘That won’t be necessary,’ she refused abruptly.
Fifty-six days out of a whole year? Could Zack possibly be right? She had a dreadful feeling he was. She had travelled a lot in those days, had always accepted any job that took her abroad, believing the separations strengthened, not weakened, their marriage. Their almost second-honeymoons when she returned home had seemed to confirm this.
‘You should have stopped me if you didn’t like it,’ she told him now.
He gave her a mocking glance. ‘And be accused of blocking your career? No, my dear Julie, I couldn’t do that. If it had bothered you then you would have put a stop to it yourself, but it obviously didn’t.’
‘It wasn’t that—’ she broke off, flushing.
‘No?’
lEr—no.’ She had said too much, had aroused his curiosity now.
‘Then what was it?’
She picked up her handbag. ‘Could you drop me off here?’ she requested brightly. ‘I want to go into this antique shop and choose something for Connie and Ben’s wedding anniversary.’
‘Lord, that’s next week, isn’t it,’ Zack groaned. ‘Thanks for reminding me. If I park the ear I can come with you—’
‘Some other time. Thanks for the lift, Zack,’ she added pointedly.
With a frustrated sigh in her direction he pulled over to the side of the road, barely giving her time to get out on to the pavement before accelerating away under pressure from the traffic building up behind him.
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