"Like you, I tried seeing other people and, like you, I couldn't stand the thought of even kissing them. Because they weren't you, Leila."
I had gotten so caught up in what he was saying, at the bared honesty in his eyes, that I hadn't noticed he was no longer sitting but stood right next to me, that is, until I felt his large, warm hand cover mine.
"I want you, Leila," he said softly, so very soft.
He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed my palm sending shivers along every nerve ending, head to toe.
I slid my gaze from him to some point over his shoulder. I needed to think, to work out what he said and how I felt about it.
"Now, can we go to the couch, babe?"
"No, thank you. Uhm, I gotta…I gotta.." I mumbled still processing his words, but sliding my hand out of his.
I don't know how long I stood there, quiet on the outside with my thoughts exploding on the inside.
All I knew is that I needed to get away from his words, his soft touch, from him, for God's sake.
I ran upstairs feeling the skirt of my dress flip and float behind me as I moved. I made it to my room and grabbed a cammy and their matching short, shorts and locked myself in the bathroom. As I went through my nightly routine, which now included using the skincare items, I tried to think.
Tried to think about what he had said, but what I was feeling seemed to be taking up more of my headspace, was more important than what he said.
Did I believe him?
I think I did. I'd never caught him in a lie. Of course, we hadn't been together long enough to actually get to that portion of the relationship.
I had thought long and hard about our time together trying to figure out why spending a few days with him could mean so much and could hurt so bad when he didn't want to see me anymore.
But I had no more answers to that than the first time I asked myself that question.
I finished up and changed into my sleepwear. Then moved to my bedroom and turned on the small bedside lamp.
Could I trust him?
I sat on the edge of my bed as I thought this through for the four-hundred and ninety-fifth time. In my mind, my logical mind, I knew that trust, true trust, builds slowly over time. It is so precious and so important that I didn't think it should be given too freely or accepted as a fact until you had been able to prove yourself.
But I had trusted him.
Maybe too much and too freely for someone I had just met.
I laid down, there on the side of my bed and rolled to my side facing the headboard.
If I let him back in, would he hurt me again?
Undoubtedly.
I don't know anyone in a relationship that hadn't been hurt by the other person at some point.
Could I take being hurt by Dex again?
Now that was the real question.
I lifted up and pressed play on my Nano, releasing Shania Twain's 'It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing'.
I stretched out again, my arm cradling my head as I listened to the sweet song and watched the sheers, covering the partially opened windows, flutter in the night breeze.
The song I listened to each and every fucking night since I'd heard that he had been done with me that Sunday.
That God awful Sunday.
The day Dex scraped me off, but didn't tell me.
I don't know how long I laid there or how many times I repeated 'play' for the song.
I do know that I didn't do it as many times as I had when he was first gone, but more than I had just the night before.
That song had become my life preserver when I felt I was drowning.
The bed dipped behind me and he pressed up against me, his chest firm against my back, tucking his jeaned knees behind mine, but not touching me in any other way.
Just there.
Pressed up against my back, his thighs cradling my ass, his knees pressed to the back of mine.
I don't know what woke me, though I don't remember falling asleep. But I was awake and feeling like I had been asleep a while. Dex's arm was around my waist and our fingers were entwined there, as were our other hands. My head was on his bicep, our legs tangled together.
The song had also changed to Hunter Hayes, "Wanted" and was set on repeat.
I laid there, feeling him behind me, listening to the words of the song and tried to listen to what my heart was saying.
To get past that God awful wall of hurt and really listen.
I wanted Dex.
I wanted Dex before I even knew his name.
I wanted Dex when I finally knew his name.
I wanted Dex, the only man that had shown me what beauty and fun there could be in sex between the two of us, the beauty of shared laughter, the beauty of holding each other and dancing whenever and wherever the mood strikes.
I felt a tear roll down the side of my eye.
I shifted slightly and heard him murmur against my hair, "You awake?"
I nodded, not sure if I wanted to talk.
"Want to get under the covers?"
I nodded and felt him shift behind me as I moved to the top of the bed, sliding myself between the sheets, laying my head on the pillow facing away from him.
"Can I get in beside you, Leila?"
I was still and then felt myself nod without thinking about it although I didn't want to roll over and see him.
There was the sound of him undressing and I felt the bed move again before feeling him move up against me just like before, pressing his front to my back, his knees behind mine.
I liked that.
I liked that he was just there, giving me comfort, sharing my space without talking, without taking, just being there.
I reached behind and softly pulled his hand so his arm draped around me.
So that our fingers were entwined.
The next time I woke up, it was still dark and I felt his warm hand on the small of my back, hotter in the space between my top and my shorts. The sheet was down around my ass and his hand, his hot, hot hand was moving south as well.
I knew I could tell him to go away.
And I knew that if I did, he would.
And he wouldn't come back.
Ever.
His hands moved and he turned me towards him and I saw his eyes, his beautiful green eyes as they bored into mine before his face dropped and his mouth hit mine.
My mind and heart may have been confused, but my body remembered.
Remembered his tongue as it wetly moved against mine, the glorious taste of him.
His hand as it slid up my hip, over my side to graze my breast, his thigh pressing tightly against my groin just hard enough for me to grind myself against wasn't just a memory.
The feel of his fingers pulling and rolling my nipple as his tongue continued to move inside my mouth, my now soaked crotch rubbing against his thigh before his thigh was replaced by his fingers.
His magic fingers that always, always knew how to touch, stroke, rub me in just the right spot, at just the right time.
My body remembered his touches very well, so fucking well.
My knees opened wider as his fingers rubbed through the immediate wetness he had caused and I heard him moan into my mouth.
I absolutely loved that sound.
Loved it.
And I could feel it building inside me, gathering speed so fast that my thighs quivered.
He was up on his knees but our mouths were still fused and his fingers were still playing, moving, circling on, over, around my slick, swollen slit.
And I felt my shorts being dragged down and soon hit my knees.
"God, Elle," I heard him breathe and I opened my eyes.
My little tank top was up above my breasts and my bottoms were pushed down to my knees.
Dex's fingers were still moving as were my hips in response and I saw that his eyes were glued to my churning pussy as well as my waist and tits.
"You are so fucking beautiful," he said raising his eyes to mine and as he di
d, I hit it and hit it hard without ever losing contact with his eyes.
But I couldn't stop the low whimpering groan as my orgasm spread through me.
"Fuck," Dex growled again, his fingers slowing.
I felt them pull away and then my shorts were tugged completely off.
I opened my legs in invitation and curved my pussy up.
Dex stared deeply into my eyes as he positioned himself between my legs, the head of his cock waiting right on the edge of my tight, wet passage where he paused.
"I want you so much. I need you so much, Leila."
"Then take me, Dex."
And he did.
And it was, just like always, amazing.
Although, this time, this particular time, Dex moved into me slowly. Inching his beautiful cock into me so slow, so achingly slow. Pressing deep, and grinding in a slow circle when he was as deep as he could get.
He pulled back equally as slow, inching his cock out just as slow as he slid in.
"Fuck me, Leila," he groaned into my mouth.
My pussy was on fire and his measured moves were a long, slow tease. A delicious tease that created a yearning, a breathless waiting.
I brought my thighs up and wrapped my legs around his waist, giving me leverage to move, to move deliberately with him.
"Oh, God," he moaned as his hips pressed forward again, his moves so unhurried, so achingly slow.
Dex dropped his head and did a nose slide that was as slow as his cock sliding in and out of me.
He raised himself off his forearms until his arms were straight, as his hips continued to press forward sliding his thick hardness slowly, deeply in and out of me.
"That's it, babe." I raised my eyes to see he was gazing at where we were joined. "Slide on me, Elle. God, that's hot."
I loved the way he felt, the long length of him as he moved and I let out a low, deep groan.
"Touch yourself, Leila," he whispered, his eyes still glued to our slow churning hips.
I brought my hand that had been moving on his shoulder and dragged it across my breasts, rubbing against my turgid nipples before sliding my hand slowly downward.
Dex's eyes followed my hand as it moved.
My hand slid lower, gliding down over my belly.
Lower.
Slowly.
Through my curls, until I slid my middle finger into my wet pinkness and circled my swollen nub of pleasure.
One slow, long complete circle, slickly sliding as he pressed in and then pulled out.
I was gasping, the pressure of my pleasure so full.
So wonderfully, achingly full.
"Look at me, Leila."
I raised my eyes slowly, my gaze rolling upward over his sleek belly, upward seeing his firm abs ripple as he moved. Upward over his chest, his neck.
To his beautiful green eyes, lit from within with a fire that was for me.
For us.
For what we were together.
"Come with me, babe." I heard him murmur as the pressure, the pleasure he created within me exploded.
*.*.*.*.*
He opened his eyes slowly the next morning, his arms and heart filled with her. He laid very still hoping to stay in this spooned position for a while longer. Dex felt her rub her face on the arm that he had tucked around her, his palm underneath her pillow.
"Morning, babe," he said softly moving closer to her. He felt her smile against his arm and then felt it as it slid from her face.
"Dex, can I say something, just one last thing before we put this behind us?" she said in her sleepy, but musical, voice, still turned away from him.
"Absolutely."
"I got all caught up in whatever it is that we have between us. I wasn't labeling it, I was just along for the ride and was enjoying every damn minute of being with you. But when you left, it broke my heart. Broke my heart because you didn't give me a say in your leaving, didn't give me a choice. And, I may not know a whole lot about being a couple, but it seems to me, especially after Dan, that if two people find themselves as a couple, then they decide things together. Especially if its whether to keep what they have going or to let it go."
He felt her breathing hitch beneath his arm, but he was silent, letting her have her say.
"I don't know if we have a shelf life of three days or three-hundred years. But I do know that you broke my heart. You broke my heart, Dex. The only other thing in my entire life that has broken me like that was when my dad died, when me and my mom buried a piece of our hearts with him. But as much as Dad's death hurt, I didn't lose my trust in him. I did with you Dex, when you scraped me off -- which is such a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad description of cutting someone loose. Especially someone you care about."
He felt the wetness on his arm from her quiet tears.
"I don't know what it's going to take for me to trust you again, Dex. But I'm willing to try if you are."
Dex slid back and rolled her so she was on her back. He wanted, no needed, to see her face. He stayed up on his elbow, leaning over her, her beautiful brown eyes wet but not guarded against him.
And he felt his heart speed up at what he saw there, the honesty that she had never, not once, hidden from him.
"I can't promise that I'll never hurt you, because we both know what a dick I am, what a dick I can be."
His smile joined hers but he was sure that his wasn't as shaky.
"But what I can promise you, my gorgeous Elle, my lovely Leila is that I will do everything in my power not to knowingly hurt you again."
He rubbed his nose slowly down hers.
"That going to be enough for you, babe?"
"Yeah," she whispered.
"Yeah," he echoed before tipping his head slowly to capture her mouth.
"Dex," she whispered when their mouth movements slowed and their lips were barely touching.
"Babe?"
"I want to suck you," she said, again on a whisper.
"And I want to be sucked by you, Elle."
He felt her heart speed up at his words.
"I don't know how, but I want make you feel as good as your mouth makes me feel."
"Oh, babe," He murmured as his face dropped to her neck.
"Tell me how, Dex. Please?" she said softly, her hand moving up his back to glide through his hair.
"You're a wonder, Leila," he said softly sliding his thumb over her cheekbones.
She smiled as her hands moved to his shoulders to press him down so that his back was against the mattress, his head on the pillow.
Leila brought herself up to her knees and straddled him low on his thighs, her hands unerringly reaching for his cock that was full and hot and hard at just the thought of having her soft, full mouth wrapped around it.
"Tell me, honey," she said softly, wiggling herself down his body, between his legs.
"Use your hand, babe, like I showed you," Dex instructed softly, his eyes hot as he felt her hand slide down his length until his cock was pointed up.
"Lick the tip with your tongue," he continued and watched her wet tongue lick and roll around his helmet before she dipped her head down and she slid it into her hot, wet mouth.
"Oh, God," he groaned, the visual along with the feel of her caused his involuntary hip thrust, had her mouth slide downward, capturing more of his hard length.
He felt her mouth move back up as her tongue swirled again over and around the sensitive tip.
"You taste so good, Dex," she whispered before lowering her head again and taking as much of him into her mouth as she was able before gliding up again.
"Fucking hot, babe." He reached and held her hair back so he could see her greedy lips wrapped around his cock, .
Leila used her mouth, her tongue as she slid up and down his length, her saliva dripping down enabling her fist to glide in unison with her mouth, opening her throat to take as much of him as she could.
She raised her eyes to his as she moved.
"Fuck," Dex breathed almost overcome
with watching her, the fucking feel of her.
She picked up the pace remembering the speed that he used when he was inside her, riding her towards his goal.
As the wetness dripped down his scrotum, she used her other hand to capture it and glide her hand over and around his heavy sac and around the sensitive skin just behind it.
"Gonna come, Elle," he whispered, his voice breaking.
"Mmm," she moaned as he hit the back of her throat and he felt the vibrations of it sending him over the edge.
The jets of his cum hit the back of her throat and he felt her swallows taking every drop of him.
His hands dropped away from her hair and his head dropped back onto the pillow.
"Fucking hell," he breathed. "God, Leila."
She moved up his body, bringing her legs alongside him before burying her face in his neck. His arms came up to wrap around her, holding her close.
"Did I do it right, honey?" he heard her ask softly, only the tiniest hint of uncertainty evident.
"Oh, fuck yeah," Dex admitted and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "But you didn't have to swallow, babe."
"I didn't?" she asked raising her head and capturing his eyes.
"No, you didn't."
"But you swallow when you…uhm…when you," she stuttered.
"Remember, babe. If you can feel it, you can say it."
She took a deep breath and said as confidently as she could, "You swallow my cum when you, ah, lick me. And it feels amazing when you do. I…uhm…wanted to make you feel that way, too."
"Fuck me," Dex said, his eyes roaming over her face catching on her beautiful brown eyes. "You are really something."
"Something good, I hope."
And Dex saw it, that bit of uncertainty, the residual shit that her ass-hat of an ex had left her with.
Christ!
How could anyone, anyone, let something so precious go and, in going, make her feel so bad.
"Babe. It's all good when I'm with you."
He watched her eyes warm and color hit her cheeks at his words.
She stretched out and arm and grabbed her Nano and scrolled through before putting it back on the base and hitting play.
"Dance with me, Dex," she said as she maneuvered her way to the edge of the bed and stood up.
"Oh, princess," he said eyeing her naked form. "My pleasure."
Human Hieroglyphix - Dex & Leila Page 18