His hand carved another rough pathway through his hair. ‘I want to believe you, Charlotte, but everything in me warns me against lowering my guard. You ripped my heart from my chest four years ago and you have done it again by keeping my daughter from me. How can I trust you?’
Tears burned in her eyes. ‘More to the point, how can I trust you?’ she asked. ‘You have threatened me from the word go, blackmailing me into a relationship and leaving me no choice but to lie to protect Emily and myself. I hated lying to you. I loathe all forms of deceit. I grew up with my father’s lies and I have enough on my plate with my sister’s without making up my own.’
‘Charlotte…’
He took a step towards her but she held up her hand to ward him off. ‘No, don’t. Please. I can’t bear it. I hate what’s happened to us. We had such a lovely relationship…You were the most wonderful man I’d ever met…so warm and vibrant. I loved you with all of my heart. I would never have done anything to hurt you, but you’ve destroyed it all. You’re angry at missing out on Emily’s life so far, but what about what I’ve missed out on?’ Tears were running down her cheeks and she brushed at them angrily. ‘Have you ever stopped to think of that? Have you?’
Damon swallowed back the raw pain in his throat. He wasn’t used to so much emotion overloading his system. Four years ago he had shut off his feelings; only the loss of Eleni had resurrected them before he had locked them away again behind a bolted door in his brain. But he felt now as if Charlotte was picking the lock, her own emotions seeping under the door to reach his…
‘What have you missed out on, Charlotte?’ he asked hollowly. ‘Tell me.’
He saw her chest lift and fall in a ragged sigh. ‘I felt so alone when I came back to Australia…My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer the same week I had the pregnancy confirmed. I was so torn. There were so many people depending on me. Stacey was devastated by Mum’s diagnosis and began to experiment with drugs to blunt the pain. She never really got over my father’s suicide while he was in prison. She adored him and, being so young, she didn’t quite understand why he would do that. I threw myself into my studies, knowing I would have to provide for my child and possibly Stacey as well. I had no one to turn to, no one to tell how scared I was. I hadn’t even held a baby before and suddenly I was expecting one.’
Damon felt his chest tighten to the point of pain. How had he been so blind and unfeeling? Even if she was as guilty as he believed her to be, it did not excuse his treatment of her since. ‘I do not know what to say…’
She gave him a bleak look. ‘I guess sorry is out of the question. You’re too proud to admit you got it wrong.’
‘I am sorry you have had to deal with this alone. But you will no longer have to do so. We will be together from now on to give Emily all that she deserves as a much loved daughter.’
‘But she won’t have two parents who love each other,’ she reminded him. ‘That’s what every child deserves.’
‘In this day and age it is rare for both parents to remain together, let alone maintain that level of affection. We will no doubt become friends over time.’
‘We didn’t do so well on the friends thing before,’ she reminded him.
‘Yes, well, I am perhaps to blame for that,’ he admitted. ‘I cannot seem to help myself around you. I am still fiercely attracted to you.’
‘Which you hate yourself for, remember?’
‘You have said much the same, Charlotte.’
She shifted her gaze. ‘So you’re expecting our marriage to be normal…as in sex and all that.’
‘I am a little intrigued as to what exactly you are referring to as “all that” but yes—I would hope that we will maintain as normal a relationship as possible. It will be good for Emily to grow up in a family atmosphere.’
Charlotte looked down at her hands for a moment. ‘She likes you…Emily, I mean…In fact, I think she already loves you…’
He cleared his throat. ‘She is a beautiful child. I cannot believe she is really mine.’
Her eyes sprang back to his defensively. ‘If you feel the need to have a paternity test done I won’t stop you.’
He frowned at her expression. ‘I was not for the moment suggesting—’
‘Yes, you were, go on—admit it. I can see the flicker of doubt in your eyes. What if she’s lying again, foisting some other man’s brat on me to get more money? That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?’
He let out a frustrated breath. ‘This is a going nowhere discussion. I can see Emily is mine. I do not need a test to confirm it.’
‘What if she didn’t look like you?’ she asked with an accusing glare. ‘I bet you’d be swabbing her mouth with a dip stick and rushing it off to the nearest DNA laboratory as soon as you could.’
‘Is there some doubt in your own mind as to who is her father?’ he asked.
Her eyes turned to twin points of angry blue flame. ‘How can you ask that?’ she choked.
‘It is a reasonable question, I would have thought. It’s been four years; surely there have been other men in your life.’
‘There hasn’t been anyone since you.’
He raised his brows cynically. ‘For someone who claims to abhor being deceitful, you show a remarkable talent for it.’
Charlotte swung away in fury. ‘Here we go again. You refuse to believe a single word I say. This is never going to work.’
‘It will work because we will make it work,’ he said. ‘We are both committed to Emily. She is my biggest priority now. I want to spend time getting to know her, catching up on all I missed out on before.’
She held her arms close to her body without turning around. ‘I have photos and film footage of her first steps and words. I’ve kept everything…even all of her baby clothes…’
‘I would like to see them some time.’
‘I’ll collect them from my flat.’
‘About your flat…’ Damon paused before continuing. ‘Does your sister live there with you permanently?’
Charlotte turned back to look at him. ‘No…she comes and goes a bit but I’ve never encouraged her to move in with us.’
His expression was thoughtful as he watched her for a moment.
‘I think she’s beyond help,’ she added in a defeated tone, her eyes falling away from his. ‘I’ve done everything I can…I only agreed to your terms so I could help her but she used that money to pay back her dealer.’ Her shoulders dropped another level as she continued. ‘I would have even slept with you that first night if it would have brought her back. I would have done anything, but sometimes anything and everything is just not enough…’
‘You look exhausted.’ Somehow Damon got his voice into gear. ‘You can have the bed. I’ll sleep on the sofa.’
‘Are you sure?’
Her grateful look was like an arrow to his heart. He stretched his mouth into the semblance of a smile. ‘Go to bed, Charlotte. You have no need to fear my attentions tonight.’ He moved towards the door.
‘Damon?’
He brought his gaze back to hers. ‘I am going out for a short while. I would like to spend the next few days with Emily, if I may. You will have a full three weeks ahead with the launch of the exhibition. Emily and I can spend the time getting to know one another. With her arm so tender I would not like to have her bumped by other children at childcare.’
Fresh tears washed into Charlotte’s eyes at his concern for his little daughter, but before she could assemble the words to tell him how touched she was he had already left.
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘YOU should see the hordes of people coming in,’ Diane said three weeks later. ‘This is going down as one of the highlights of the museum’s year.’
Charlotte wondered what her colleague would say if she told her it had been one of the worst periods of her life. She had gone from highs to lows within the space of seconds each day as she had juggled work and her tricky relationship with Damon. Her only consolation had been Em
ily’s rapid acceptance of her father. Her little face had beamed from ear to ear each day as he had taken her out to entertain her. Charlotte had had to bite her tongue to stop herself from commenting on the expensive toys he had bought, for she realised he was doing his best to make up for lost time.
Stacey had left a message on her mobile saying she was finally getting help but Charlotte found it hard to feel confident that she would in fact do so. She had heard nothing from her since, even though she had left countless messages on her answering service.
The flat had been cleaned out and Charlotte’s and Emily’s things transferred to the hotel but she still didn’t feel as if she belonged there.
Damon was polite to her but he seemed intent on avoiding her at every opportunity. He would insist on putting Emily to bed each night but he would go out afterwards and it would be the early hours of the morning before Charlotte would hear him return to his makeshift bed on the sofa. She had put her pride aside one night and suggested he share the bed with her, but he had declined the offer with what she could only describe as cold disdain.
‘You must be excited about your wedding this weekend,’ Diane said. ‘Everyone’s talking about it.’
‘It’s to be a very quiet affair.’
‘It’s so romantic—Damon Latousakis being Emily’s father and all. Mind you, I knew it from the moment I saw him.’
Charlotte gave her a weak smile without responding.
‘This trip to Greece is just what you need,’ Diane continued. ‘You look like you need a holiday. This has been a huge workload for you, but Julian is well on the mend and champing at the bit to get back. By the time you return he’ll be back on board.’
‘I’m only going to be away for two weeks.’
‘You should be taking longer; after all, this is your honeymoon. You won’t even have to work any more if you don’t want to. Why not lie back and enjoy it?’
Why not, indeed? Charlotte thought. The only trouble was her husband couldn’t bear to be in the same room as her.
For some reason Charlotte couldn’t quite fathom, Damon had insisted on a church wedding. The ceremony, though brief, was traditional and Emily proudly attended them as a flower girl, her little floral basket adorned with ribbons swinging from her hands as she walked up the aisle with a solemn look on her tiny face.
Damon winked at her and her little face instantly split into a broad smile and Charlotte felt her heart begin to crack. He had done so much in such a short time to build a bridge with his daughter. They had the sort of relationship she had never had with her own father—loving, playful and totally accepting.
The only slight hitch in the proceedings was the kiss during the ceremony. Charlotte told herself it was more or less a formal procedure that the congregation expected, but it didn’t stop her lips from clinging to Damon’s with escalating need.
He was the first to move away, which hurt her, but she disguised it behind a forced smile as they moved to sign the register.
Emily was bouncing up and down with excitement as the reception drew to a close. ‘Are we going on the aeropwane yet?’
‘Soon, darling,’ Charlotte said as she gathered her close to her side. ‘One more sleep.’
‘I’m going to meet my granny, aren’t I? Daddy told me.’
‘Yes, you are, precious.’
‘Can I take all of my toys to show her?’
‘Only your very special ones,’ she said.
‘She can take whatever she wants,’ Damon said, putting his hand on Emily’s silky head in a proprietary manner.
Charlotte’s blue gaze tussled with his coal-black one before she finally gave in. ‘I’m sure Daddy will help you pack everything you need.’
‘Are you mad at Daddy?’ Emily asked as her thumb slid towards her mouth.
‘No, of course not,’ she lied, shooting Damon a blistering glare over the top of Emily’s head.
‘I don’t want you to be mad at Daddy. I love him.’
Charlotte felt her throat tighten and bent down to her daughter’s level. ‘I know you do, darling, and I…I…I er…love him too. I’ve just had a lot to deal with lately with the wedding and the exhibition and all.’
‘Do you weally love him?’ Emily looked at her entreatingly.
Charlotte pasted a bright smile on her face. ‘How could I not love the father of my little girl?’
Damon took his daughter’s hand. ‘Come on, little one. We have to say goodbye to some guests.’
Charlotte let out her breath once they had gone and turned to face another guest who wanted to congratulate her. She comforted herself with the thought that Damon thought her a consummate liar. How would he know she was this time actually telling the truth?
Once Emily had settled for the night Damon came out to the main suite where Charlotte was flicking idly through a magazine. She was aware of him standing there watching her but kept her head down, pretending an absorption in an article on home improvement hints.
‘I would like to speak to you,’ he said.
She turned over to another page without looking up. ‘What about?’
He closed the distance between them and removed the magazine from her hands.
‘Hey, I was reading that!’ She scowled at him.
He tossed the magazine to the floor, his dark features etched with anger. ‘You are so determined to ignore me but I will not tolerate it, Charlotte.’
‘You’ve ignored me for the past three weeks,’ she threw back resentfully. ‘You’ve barely addressed a single word to me unless Emily’s been present. Then of course you’re all sweetness and charm. What a hypocrite.’
‘You are just as guilty of pretending something you do not feel. Emily is going to be confused by your mixed messages if you do not control your propensity to insult me at every opportunity. She is an intelligent and highly sensitive child, who is already picking up on the antagonistic atmosphere between us. She shows signs of deep insecurity. I have noticed when you and I are together she sucks her thumb much more than when she is alone with me.’
‘So what are you suggesting?’ Her eyes challenged his. ‘That we kiss and make up?’
‘That would be a very good start.’
She sprang off the sofa in agitation. ‘You can go to hell.’
He caught her by the arm and turned her around to face him. ‘We are husband and wife now, Charlotte. We are travelling to Santorini tomorrow, where it will be expected we will share a bed. I do not want anyone, particularly my mother, to think there is anything amiss in our relationship.’
‘You mean you haven’t told her the truth?’
‘No, of course not,’ he said, dropping his hand from her arm. ‘I wanted her to enjoy her first grandchild without worrying there may be no others for her to look forward to in the not so distant future.’
She stared at him in shock, her stomach turning over itself. ‘You want another child?’ She swallowed deeply. ‘With me?’
‘You find the notion unsettling?’
‘I find the notion outrageous!’
His jaw tensed and a hardened look came into his dark eyes. ‘I do not see the problem. We already have one child. It is only natural to want to add to our family a little brother or sister for Emily to grow up with.’
‘Our family, as you call it, is a sham! You’re making me out to be some sort of breeding machine. How can you possibly think of bringing another child into this mess?’
‘It will only be a mess if you do not agree to cooperate in an adult and mature fashion.’
‘I fail to see what is adult and mature about your behaviour,’ she said. ‘You’ve held me to ransom from the word go.’
‘I do have some regrets over the way I handled our relationship,’ he confessed with a small frown disturbing his forehead. ‘I should not have treated you the way I did that first night.’
‘Oh, wow, is that an apology I hear?’ she scoffed. ‘Does “some regrets” mean you’re actually admitting to having made a mistak
e? How on earth will you cope with having put a black mark on your pristine copybook?’
‘Actually it is an apology of sorts,’ he said, meeting her eyes once more. ‘I had underestimated your commitment to your sister. Your devotion to her is remarkable considering what she has put you through. It shows you have a forgiving side to your nature.’
‘Unlike you,’ she couldn’t resist throwing back at him.
‘No, perhaps you are right,’ he said with another regretful frown. ‘I do find it hard to let go of resentment. I tend to brood on things, which has a tendency over time to blow everything out of proportion.’
Charlotte had to fight the urge to be mollified by his grudging confession. She wanted to be angry with him. She needed to be angry with him to keep herself safe from further hurt.
‘I want this to work, not just for Emily, but for us,’ he said into the taut silence. ‘She is a beautiful little girl. I cannot tell you what it means to me to have her in my life. I do not know how to thank you for choosing to go ahead with the pregnancy. So many young women, given the circumstances, would not have done so.’
Charlotte had to clamp her bottom lip between her teeth to hold back her emotion. She had agonised over what to do in those first few weeks, especially when her mother had become so desperately ill and her sister so obviously in need of her support. But she had not been able to bring herself to rid herself of the one thing that still connected her to Damon.
‘I loved her from the moment I knew I was carrying her…’
Damon stepped forward and brushed a gentle hand across her cheek, the gesture so poignant and unexpected she had trouble keeping the moisture from spilling from her eyes as she raised them to his.
‘I love her too,’ he said, his voice unmistakably husky. ‘I would do anything for her.’
She gave him a twisted look. ‘You’ve certainly demonstrated that by marrying me—the woman you hate more than any other.’
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