Or had it gone badly? Maybe she didn’t get to see her mom and she was disappointed.
When I saw her remove the postcard from her back pocket and rip it up, I knew I had my answer. She treasured that scrap of paper. There was only one reason she would destroy it.
Getting out of the truck I walked towards her, but she was so wrapped up in her grief that she didn’t even notice me.
I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her.
At first she flinched, probably thinking I was some random dude.
“Baby…” I whispered and her breathing hitched at the sound of my voice. “Angel, please don’t cry. God, it kills me when you cry.”
“Travis?” she squeaked as she buried her face in my chest.
“Shhh. It’s okay. I’m right here.”
Several minutes went by as she soaked the front of my shirt. I rubbed her back and placed random kisses on the top of her head, wishing there was something I could do to fix this.
Without lifting her face, she took a deep breath and I could tell she was ready to explain what happened.
“S-she doesn’t love me.” She hiccupped as she finally started to spill the details of the visit with her mom. “She said so herself. Like, she actually said those words. She told me she’d tried and she just couldn’t.”
Angel wiped her nose with a tissue and sat up to look me in the eye.
Her face was red and puffy and I used my thumbs to wipe at the black mascara running down her cheeks. Even like this, she was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I said, knowing it wasn’t enough. Knowing it wouldn’t take away her pain.
“What does that say about me? My own mother couldn’t love me.”
Her conclusion that she was unlovable hit me deep. The one person in this world who was supposed to love her unconditionally made her feel like she was unworthy of love.
I hadn’t exactly done anything to help in that department by withholding my true feelings.
Well, that was going to end right now.
“Angel, that doesn’t say anything about the kind of person you are.” My tone was serious. “It says everything about the kind of person she is.”
She didn’t look convinced. It was time to break out the big guns.
“I love you,” I said, and my voice shook. “I should’ve told you before I left. I’ve wanted to say it for a while now. And this is a pretty shitty time and place to say it.” I glanced at our surroundings. “But I promise to make it up to you. I’ll say it every day—”
“Travis?” Angel interrupted my rambling. If I’d been paying attention, I would’ve seen the transformation on her face. Minutes ago she’d been devastated, but now a radiant smile was shining back at me. “I love you, too.”
Best words I’d ever heard.
“Thank fuck,” I sighed.
She giggled and I touched my forehead to hers. I kissed her and pushed my tongue past her lips. They tasted salty from her tears and I licked at them, wanting to take away any evidence of her sadness.
Before we could get too carried away, she pulled back, breaking the kiss.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, confused, as if she was now just realizing I was supposed to be halfway across the country.
“I had to tell you I love you.”
“That’s it? You came back just for that?” Her bright smile told me she was really happy about that, and I knew coming back had been the right decision.
I nodded. “You’re kind of the most important thing to me. And I kind of love you a lot.”
She launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I pulled her onto my lap so she was straddling me and I was reminded of our first kiss on my couch. My heart sped up at the thought of what this could mean for her—what this could mean for us.
“Come home? With me?” I pulled back so she could see my face. I wanted her to know how much I meant it.
“Hmm, maybe,” she teased, scrunching her face up while she pretended to think it over. “I guess I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Then her face got serious. “I’ll try to find a job and I can get my own place.”
“No,” I said a bit too forcefully, then I softened tone. “No. I don’t want you to find a place. I want you to live with me.”
“But people will think we’re crazy!” she exclaimed. “Don’t you think it’s too soon?”
I smiled because it was a ridiculous question. “Angel, nothing about our relationship has been conventional. But I don’t care. This is us. This is how we started, and I want it with you. I want everything.”
I took her beautiful face in my hands and rubbed my nose over hers.
She placed her hands over mine and said the second-best words I’d ever heard her say.
“Let’s go home.”
TRAVIS
On the way home, we stopped at a rest stop outside of Reno and we made love in the back of the semi.
I was sitting sideways on the bed with my back against the wall as she moved her hips on top of me. Her tits were level with my face and I took one into my mouth while I palmed the other.
I let her take control, let her grind down onto me. This position was a particular favorite of Angel’s and I wasn’t complaining. Also, I was tired as fuck, so letting her do the work was fine by me.
Well, most of the work. She gasped as I gripped her hips and thrusted up into her. Her body started to shake and I knew she was close. I slipped my hand between us and circled her clit with my thumb.
She threw her head back, pushing her tits into my face, and I gently bit down on her nipple.
“I love you,” she whispered, right before she cried out and her pussy clamped down on my cock.
Her orgasm triggered my own and I spilled into her tight heat. I stayed inside her for a couple more minutes while we kissed. She didn’t like it when I left her right away. I loved that.
After that, I needed a nap.
*
“Are you okay? Really okay?” I asked her, still concerned.
We were driving through the middle of Oklahoma and it was one of the most boring strips of highway in the country.
“Yeah. And no,” she replied. “It just makes me…” She paused as she searched for the right word, and tears appeared in her eyes. She swallowed thickly before continuing. “…sad. I know that’s not a very elaborate explanation. But it makes me sad.”
She was right—it was a very simple way to describe how she was feeling, but it was enough. Even the simplest words could be powerful.
“When I was a kid, I thought I was so lucky,” she went on. “Out of all the moms in the world, somehow I ended up with the best. I really believed that.” She let out a humorless laugh and shook her head. “I actually felt sorry for the other kids because their moms weren’t as good as mine. Even after she left, I held on to the idea that she cared. That she was somewhere, missing me, regretting the worst decision of her life.”
With no idea what to say, I stayed silent. How could I tell her I was happy with the way things turned out? I was getting everything I wanted. She was here, in my truck, heading back home.
To our home. And it wasn’t temporary this time.
“I don’t want to hate her, Travis,” Angel said, her voice quiet.
“You don’t have to hate her,” I said. “But you don’t have to love her either. You don’t owe her anything. You’ve gone the last ten years without her. You don’t need her. Not needing her and hating her are two separate things. She can just be someone you used to know.”
She frowned. “Well if that isn’t depressing, I don’t know what is. But you’re right.”
“I wish things had gone better for you.” I hated that she was hurting. Her pain was my pain. “But am I a selfish bastard for being happy that you’re with me now?”
“No.” she smiled a little. “California isn’t where I belong, anyway. Even if things had gone well… I’m not sure I would have decid
ed to stay. My home is with you in the middle of a cornfield.”
I chuckled. “Damn straight. And all those things you wanted with your mom… Someday when we have kids, you can still do those things with them.”
Glancing over, I registered the shock I knew I’d see on her face. Mentioning the future this soon in the relationship could’ve been considered taboo, but I didn’t care. I had already told her I loved her and I meant it.
“Our kids?” She raised her eyebrows at me.
I nodded. “Yep. I’m in this for the long haul, baby,” I said cockily, making her laugh. “And you know how much I love long hauls.”
TRAVIS
I threw a piece of popcorn at Angel’s face and she tried to catch it with her mouth. Missing my intended target, it tapped her on the nose and she giggled.
A buttery kernel came flying at me and I caught it on my tongue. I crunched on it happily while Angel shoved an oversized handful into her mouth.
We were sitting at opposite ends of the couch, facing each other, ignoring whatever was on the TV.
A week had passed since we left California, and we effortlessly fell back into our usual routine. It was just as good as it had been those first three weeks, only now we didn’t have the feeling of impending doom looming over us.
Angel was here to stay.
This was the new normal for us. Easy. Fun. So fucking happy.
“So…” She chewed up the popcorn before continuing. “I think I know what I want to be when I grow up.”
“Oh, yeah?” I tossed another piece her way and she caught it between her teeth. “What’s that?”
“Beverly thinks I’d be a good in-home health aide for the elderly. There’s a certification program at the community college. It only takes one semester.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” I said, impressed. I couldn’t think of a more perfect career for her.
“And my savings will cover the tuition. But I really do need to find a job in the meantime.”
Angel had been asking around about job openings and even filled out a couple applications in Daywood, one of which was at her favorite thrift shop. She hadn’t heard back from them yet, but I knew she had her hopes up.
“You could always get a job at Buck’s,” I suggested, already knowing what her response would be.
Her face screwed up like she smelled something bad. “Oh, yeah,” she scoffed. “Kendra would love to have me working with her. I’m sure we’d end up being BFFs.”
She pelted the next piece of popcorn at me with more force than necessary and it bounced off my forehead.
Using the back of my hand, I brushed the butter and salt off my skin before calmly setting my bowl off to the side on the coffee table. Then I started prowling towards her on the couch, closing the distance between us.
“Travis?” She held her container of popcorn between us, as if it was a shield. “What are you doing?”
“You wanna play, baby? We can play,” I taunted with a hint of warning.
Prying the bowl from her fingers, I set it down on the floor before crawling over her body.
Bringing my hands up to the sides of her stomach, I started to wiggle my fingers along her ribs. I knew it was her most ticklish spot.
“Don’t! Don’t you dare, Travis,” she said through giggles. “I’ll pee! I’ll pee my pants!”
She always made that threat, but I had yet to see her follow through on it.
“You two need to get a room,” Colton said as he walked through the front door.
“I have absolutely no problem with that.” I smirked.
Standing up from the couch, I picked Angel up and threw her over my shoulder. She laughed as I carried her down the hallway to the bedroom.
“You guys are a couple of lovesick fools!” Colton called after us.
I kicked the door shut with my foot and tossed Angel down onto the bed. Our bed.
Lovesick. Fool. Crazy. People could call us whatever they wanted. It didn’t matter because it all added up to one thing.
Happiness.
FIVE MONTHS LATER
ANGEL
The smell of cinnamon invaded my nose and I sighed as I rolled over in the bed. I was momentarily disappointed when I realized I was alone, but it quickly turned to excitement when I remembered what day it was.
Christmas.
And I knew that smell. No, it wasn’t cinnamon rolls, but it was my favorite breakfast. The same breakfast Travis made for me on my birthday and almost every Sunday morning since I permanently moved in.
The snow fell steadily outside, piling up on the window sill. I almost didn’t want to leave my warm cocoon in the bed, but my growling stomach urged me to get up.
When I found Travis at the stove in the kitchen, I didn’t hesitate to come up behind him and wrap my arms around his stomach. I kissed the warm skin between his shoulder blades and he made a sound of contentment as he placed his hands over mine.
He turned to face me and tenderly brushed his nose over mine. “Merry Christmas, baby.”
“Merry Christmas.” I grinned.
It was our first Christmas together. The first of many.
The present sitting under the tree in the gold sparkly bag was my gift to Travis. Deciding what to get for him had been difficult.
What did you give someone who already had everything they needed?
Since I sort of took over ownership of his favorite T-shirt (it was totally mine now), I decided to get him one for when he was on the road without me. The new shirt I bought him had a picture of two otters hugging and it said ‘I miss my significant otter’. It wasn’t an extravagant gift but it was so freaking cute.
Just in case he didn’t like it, I also included a hand-made coupon for one naked FaceTime session. I knew for sure he’d love that.
I’d ended up getting a part-time job at the thrift store, and because of that and my classes I couldn’t always go with Travis on his trips.
The days apart were hard for both of us, but my classes had ended and I was going to be getting an in-home health aide job after the new year. Planning the hauls around my schedule would be much easier once I had regular hours.
Travis set our plates down on the table and I eagerly dug in, moaning when the sweet icing hit my tongue.
While unattractively shoveling food into my face, I noticed Travis wasn’t eating and he was much more quiet than usual. His lips were pressed into a thin line as he poked at the waffle, and his face was an ashen hue.
“Are you feeling okay?” I reached my hand up to feel his forehead and cheeks, noting that he didn’t feel feverish. “You’re looking a little green.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m fine,” he insisted with a tight smile before changing the subject. “So, what’s on the agenda today?”
Travis
My stomach churned and I was pretty sure there was a real possibility I might puke. The plate shook in my hands as I brought it over to the sink, dumping my unfinished breakfast into the garbage disposal.
Angel was still sitting at the table, talking about our plans for the day—something about presents here, then going to my mom’s for lunch—but I wasn’t able to concentrate on what she was saying.
Slipping my hand into the pocket of my pants, I wrapped my fingers around the cool metal that was burning a hole through my jeans.
I wanted today to be perfect. The ring had been sitting in the back of my sock drawer for over a month. A dozen different ideas had gone through my mind, and I still couldn’t think of a way to ask Angel the most important question ever.
I knew people might say we were too young or that we hadn’t known each other long enough. But I had zero fucks to give about that.
I’d known I wanted to marry her for a while now. She was it for me.
“Do you want coffee?” she asked, walking by me to the cupboard.
The T-shirt she was wearing—which was mine—rode up her backside when she reached for the mug on the second shelf, giving me a go
od view of her ass. Momentarily distracted, my nerves were pushed aside as I ogled the scrap of light blue lace stretched over her supple skin.
Suddenly, I couldn’t wait a second longer. I took the ring out and held it in front of me in trembling fingers.
When Angel turned around, her eyes zeroed in on the shiny object immediately and her eyes widened.
“Angel.” My voice cracked and I cleared my throat. “Will you—”
My question was cut off when she let out a squeal, snatched it from my hand, and shoved it onto her left ring finger. She turned her hand back and forth, looking at it in awe and admiring the way it sparkled in the light.
The ring was white gold with intricate designs etched into the band, giving it an antique look. The ¾-carat round-cut diamond in the center set me back a good amount, but it was worth it. This was something she would keep for the rest of her life. Hopefully.
“I was wondering when you were finally going to give me this thing!” she exclaimed.
“Wait,” I said, taken aback. “You knew I had it?”
She shot me a look, unable to keep the smile off her face. “I’m the one who does your laundry, Travis. Your sock drawer? Really?”
Damn. I thought it was a good hiding place.
“I take it that’s a yes, then?” I asked, relieved. Obviously, she liked it. And she put it on the correct finger, so that was a big plus.
“Oh! Sorry. So sorry,” she quickly apologized as she pulled the ring off and handed it back to me. “You probably wanted to be the one to put it on me. Yes. That’s a yes.” She bounced excitedly as she held out her left hand.
I grinned as I looked at Angel.
Big blue eyes were shining at me with so much love, it took my breath away. There was a smudge of icing on her chin that begged me to lick it off. Her cheeks were flushed from excitement and her blonde hair was in total disarray from sleep. She brought a whole new meaning to the term ‘bedhead’.
Fucking beautiful.
Picking up her hand in mine, I gave her finger a soft kiss.
Trucker (The Good Guys #1) Page 23