She shrugged. “Every once in a while I’ll still spot one. It’s not that bad, I suppose. Probably nothing like what you have to go through, I’m sure.” She collected the two glasses of sparkling cider from the bar and walked over to the sofa, handing one to Jermaine.
“Thank you.” He held up the glass. “What are we celebrating?”
“How about . . . a new life in Christ?” she asked, her face instantly brightening with the suggestion.
“A definite cause for celebration,” Jermaine agreed as they clinked their glasses.
“Jermaine, what you did on Eye on America last week, well . . . I thought it was so inspiring, and so—”
“It had nothing to do with me, Candi. Honestly. I definitely didn’t plan to say what I did . . . it just kind of came out. I mean, I’m new to this whole Christian lifestyle, y’know? And being in the public eye so much, I know that people are constantly watching me, waiting to see if I’m going to slip up. I just want to be real about all this.”
Candace offered an encouraging nod. “My advice to you would be to find a good church home out there in L.A. and make sure to have some accountability people in your life.”
“People like Mario?” he asked. They both laughed.
“No, definitely not people like Mario. You need to be praying for that brotha. He may be keeping your bank accounts and speaking schedule full, but what you really need are people that truly care about you and want to see you develop and mature as a Christian man.”
“People, then, like . . . like you?” He studied her face closely, noticing with great interest the definite pause she took before answering the somewhat personal question.
“Yes, Jermaine,” she replied, blushing slightly. “Of course I want to . . . um, well, I would still like to be a part of your life.”
He set his half-empty glass on a coaster on the table. “You know, Candi, about that walk on Venice Beach, and then that night in the hotel room in Phoenix, what I did—how I acted toward you—I’d like to think those were the actions of the old Jermaine.” He rubbed his chin for a moment. “Physical intimacy was the only way I knew how to show you I really cared for you. I didn’t mean to cross the line with you and make you feel . . . uncomfortable in any way.”
He looked up then, gazing fully into her brown eyes. “If you give me another chance, I’d like to try to find new ways to show you that I . . . that I still care for you.”
“Jermaine . . .” She, too, set her glass on the table and rubbed her hands together. “Jermaine, so much has happened between the both of us. I . . . I don’t know what to say. I . . . I just don’t know . . .”
No! No! I am not about to lose you again . . .
“Candi, I came here not just to apologize for what I put you through, but also to tell you that for the life of me, I cannot stop thinking about you. I can’t get you out of my mind and I don’t want to, either. Spending that time with you and getting to know you was . . .” He started rubbing his chin again.
“Was what?” she asked, leaning forward a little on the couch.
“Well, let me just say that I never . . . never wanted your interview to end. I loved spending my days with you, trying to . . . trying to keep you from seeing the real me. But then I guess all my efforts really didn’t matter, huh? I mean there’s nothing like jumping off a cliff to bring out the worst in a guy.”
“Jermaine, for what it’s worth, I never saw you as someone without hope. Everybody has problems. At the time, you just hadn’t found the real answer to those problems. But I think you have, now.”
“I know I have, Candi. Finding Jesus was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.” He cocked his head ever so slightly, never losing his eye contact with her. “And just maybe, the second-best thing that could happen to me is showing you that I’m your Mr. Right.”
“Jermaine, I . . . I . . .”
“No, hear me out, alright? You were looking for a man who’s sensitive and open about displaying his emotions, hmm?” Instantly, he made a pitifully sad face, sniffling and pretending he was crying. Moments later, an actual tear fell from the corner of his right eye. “See? I can even cry on command. Take that, Oprah!”
Candace started laughing.
“And you were looking for a man committed to eating right and exercising? Well, Mario’s got me on this diet and taking sessions with a personal trainer four times a week. I mean, this guy’s like Rambo or something.” He flexed his muscles and in an Arnold Schwarzenegger-type voice, proclaimed, “I vont to . . . pump you up!”
More laughter from Candace.
“Let’s see, what else. You wanted a man who believed in God and could grow spiritually with you, right? Candi, you know I’m a believer now and nothing would make me happier than growing in Christ with you. So you see, I could be your Mr. Right.”
By now, Candace had to dab her eyes to keep tears of laughter from streaking down her face. “But you . . . you forgot something,” she wheezed, finally calming herself. “You forgot . . . that I was also looking for a man who could make me laugh.”
Jermaine gave Candace exactly two seconds before he plucked a pillow from the sofa and playfully threw it at her. And he had even less time before she, still laughing, sent it right back at him.
Chapter thirty-four
THE INSIDE OF the sanctuary was precisely as Jermaine remembered. He hadn’t set foot inside these antiquated walls in years, but even after all this time the decorative and structural uniformity was not surprising. Calvary Church of Holiness had been established over a century ago upon the types of religious tenets not especially given to change.
His fingers now lingered on the back of each pew as he made his way down the center aisle. This place held more memories of his childhood than anywhere else.
“You sit your behind down right there and don’t you move,” his Aunt Bell had scolded him every Sunday.
“Poor Aunt Bell,” he thought, smiling. He had never learned to stay still on those hard, wooden seats.
A door toward the rear of the church opened then and a partly stooped-over elderly man emerged.
“Mercy alive! If it ain’t Bell’s little man all growed up!” bellowed Deacon Parker.
“I’m not so little anymore,” Jermaine responded as he shook the outstretched hand of the old deacon. The man looked exactly as he had the last time Jermaine had seen him.
“I see that, sho’ I do.” The two held hands for a while, simply looking at each other. “How’s Bell?” the deacon asked.
“Doing about the same. She has her bad days mixed with good days, but I think she’s ready to . . . you know . . . ready to . . .”
“Sho’ she’s ready. Bell’s been ready to go home and be with the Lord jus’ about all her life. Yessah, I sho’ believe that.” With that, the deacon shuffled over to the wall and flipped on three switches. In seconds, the overhead lighting throughout the building flickered on.
“I see you’re still opening everything up on Sunday mornings,” Jermaine observed. “You’ve been doing that a long time.”
“Over sixty years,” the deacon responded with a wide grin. “But this mornin’, I’s specially proud to open the Lord’s house. A special preacher be in our midst today.”
Jermaine was going to ask to whom he was referring before realizing that special preacher was none other than himself.
“I NEVER IMAGINED I’d be one day standing in this pulpit,” Jermaine began speaking. Every room was filled to capacity as this church welcomed one of their own back in grand fashion.
“All my life, I’ve heard about my family’s spiritual heritage but it has never meant so much to me as it does today. My Aunt Bell . . . oh, God. I owe so much . . . to the prayers and strength of Bell Davis.”
“Amen!” a woman seated on the front pew shouted, prompting loud applause throughout the sanctuary.
“I didn’t realize how great a sacrifice it was to take me and raise me like she did,” Jermaine continued. “I know she co
uldn’t be here today, but I want all of you to know how much I love her. I wouldn’t be alive before you today if not for her daily prayers over my life. I tell her that every day now and I hope in some small way she will know how thankful I am.”
He paused to step back from the podium. Many in the congregation today had known him when he was a child. They undoubtedly had countless stories to share about him, and because of that, they were still family—for better or worse.
“I want to give you a preview of the new Jermaine Hill,” he said. “Most of you have followed my career since I left Baltimore, and there have been great moments, bad moments, and everything else in between. But through all of that, I’ve somehow been tagged as the one person who can get you excited and inspired about life.”
He was glad Mario wasn’t present to try and spin his next words.
“The public had it all wrong. As everyone knows, I couldn’t even get myself excited about life. I learned the hard way that there’s only One who can. There’s only One who is worthy of all the attention and praise. His name is Jesus.”
The same woman loudly shouted, “Amen!”
“Over the past months, I’ve had time to ponder over the key issues in my life. Many times, I’ve asked myself why God blessed me with a gift to speak. I mean, why me?”
He pointed to a spot on the floor just to his left. “I can remember standing right there as a child, reciting an Easter speech and loving every minute of it.”
“I was there!” the woman shouted. “I remember that. You was good, too!”
Jermaine smiled at her. “Thank you. I knew then that I was meant to be a speaker. I don’t know why God also allowed my name to become famous. Sometimes, that is just as much of a curse as it is a blessing. But I do know one thing—I’m now committed to using that same fame to spread the message of God’s love throughout the land. These messages you will hear me speaking now will be the most inspiring, empowering words I’ve ever spoken, and the ears of the nation will be listening.
“So are you ready to go to the next level in your life? Are you ready to have everything God intended for you?”
He smiled then, because some things just never changed.
“Well, let Jermaine give you some simple suggestions . . .”
Epilogue
One year later, Christmas Day
THE PRIVATE, SECLUDED ceremony was intimate and invitation-only, with good reason. For the past few months, rumors had been running rampant that Jermaine Hill was to wed Candace Clark, though it was anyone’s guess as to where and when such a high-profile event would take place.
The two celebrities had both realized it was crazy for them to continue secretly seeing each other like their relationship was some kind of illicit affair. Either he would fly in to Houston for a few days when his speaking schedule would allow, or she would invent some last-minute reason to go to Los Angeles. They were fooling nobody, and it was simply a matter of time before the whole country would know it. So they had decided to stop hiding their intentions.
On New Year’s Eve of that year, they had arrived, hand-in-hand at the Times Square celebration in New York City. Their appearance together was such a surprise that even the normally unflappable Dick Clark was momentarily at a loss for words on live television. Nobody, but nobody, could ever remember that happening before. And the couple’s anticipated midnight kiss completely overshadowed the countdown. After everyone got down to five, four, three . . . all eyes were on Candace and Jermaine. Forget about the ball dropping . . .
“It’s Official! They’re a Couple!” screamed the headlines of every paper the following day, a feat that in itself threatened to upstage the New Year’s Day parade coverage. It seemed like the nation couldn’t get enough of celebrity dating, and at the moment there was no relationship bigger than this motivational speaker and the celebrated writer. They were besieged with requests to do shows together—Live with Regis, Oprah, The Tonight Show, but they chose to grant an interview to only one media source—Myra Washington. As a result, Song of Solomon’s readership grew in record numbers to surpass all competitors and become the leading urban interest magazine in America. So much had happened in the past year . . . but the biggest occasion of all was yet to happen.
AMBROSE RIVERS nodded, as if to give the signal, at the seated congregants in the small chapel located on a tiny island off the Jamaican coast. Fully released from Atascadero six months ago, he now traveled full-time with Jermaine as the speaker’s personal spiritual advisor.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together to celebrate this blessed union of holy matrimony between Candace Clark and Jermaine Hill.” He paused to look closely at the bride and the groom. “God is good, is he not? And what He has joined together, let no man put asunder . . .”
He continued to recite scriptures pertaining to love and marriage, but for the moment Jermaine did not hear them. As a matter of fact, he was hearing nothing—everything was so still, so quiet. So beautiful. He could only focus on the beautiful lady standing directly in front of him. It was hard to believe that he had known her for only a year and a half. He felt like he had known her all of his life.
“Jermaine, I believe you have have chosen to perform your own vows . . .”
He thought someone was speaking to him as he stood there, mesmerized by his future wife.
“Jermaine?”
He rubbed his chin. “Y-yes. Yes. Candi, I have waited my whole life to share my love with a woman so special, so . . . precious. And I’m so thankful to God, because you have been worth every second of that wait. I promise to love you, Candi, with all that is in my heart. I will cherish and honor you as the royal queen that you are. You are my inspiration, my world, my earth. For better or worse, I will be right here supporting and loving you. I am honored to call you mine. And I am more honored . . . to be called yours.”
Ambrose turned to the bride. “Candace?”
She nodded in understanding as the tears began rolling down her face. She needed a few moments to regain her composure.
“Jermaine. Because I’m standing here with you, this . . . this is the happiest day of my life. All that has happened to the both of us has only caused my love for you to grow stronger. I promise to stand with you through good times and bad. And whether we’re up or down—know that my love for you will remain constant and true.”
She smiled fully at him and it took every ounce of his restraint not to lift the veil from her face and take her in his arms right there.
“Jermaine,” she continued, “I love you as a man that follows after God’s heart. I love you as a man who reaches and touches the lives of so many people. You . . . are my Mr. Right! And I love you . . . as a man inspired.”
Her last words melted him as they found their way right into the depths of his heart. “Inspired,” he thought to himself. “I am, aren’t I? This . . . this is what living is all about . . .”
Reading group guide
Prologue
In his journey to fame and fortune, Jermaine had “discovered that the only person he could really trust was himself, which in turn became a problemonce he began to forget just who he himself was.” Do you see a certain irony in the contrast between Jermaine and his Aunt Bell, caught in the fog of Alzheimer’s disease? How is the source of their trust (and therefore, their hope) different? (See Proverbs 3:5-6.) In whom do you place your trust?
Chapter I
Candace had one room in her home that was a sanctuary, a place where she did no work, a refuge from the world, “where she could fully celebrate being a woman—and where she could taste the savory fruits of success.” Everyone needs a space for sanctuary—in effect, a Sabbath space. God established the Sabbath, a day of rest, when he himself rested after creating the world (Genesis 2:1-2). Where and when in your life have you created such a Sabbath—in time and in space?
Chapter 2
The friendship Jermaine had had with Eric and Ronny had been incredibly precious and rare, especially amon
g men. Do you have that kind of relationship with anyone in your life—past or present? With whom? What makes that friendship so valuable? Scripture describes two such friendships: in I Samuel 20 and in the book of Ruth. (Also see Proverbs 17:17; 27:6,17; Ecclesiastes 4:7-12; John 15:12-13.)
Chapter 3
Publishing Song of Solomon was a dream come true for Myra, a dream she had birthed two decades earlier while still in college. What’s your dream? How long have you been harboring it? What steps, if any, have you taken to make it come true? Share your dream—and write it down (Habakkuk 2:2-3). And, as God leads, plot out the next steps in bringing that vision to pass.
Chapter 4
What do you think of Ambrose at this point in the story? Is he a prophet? a fanatic? socially or criminally insane? He thinks of himself as a modern-day John the Baptist. Check out Luke 3:1-20 and do your own comparison study.
Chapter 5
Jemiaine views Mario’s expressions of concern as being motivated more by business than personal reasons. What do you think? Do you have people in your life like Mario—whose motives in the relationship are suspect? How do you interact with them? What does Scripture advise in such situations? (See Proverbs 19:4,6; 20:6; Matthew 7:6, 15-20; 10:16.)
Chapter 6
“It’s not a good idea to start a relationship with a guy you practically keep on a pedestal. . . . So when Prince Charming turns out to be less than perfect, you’re staring at a serious wake-up call,” Candi warns Tasha. Do you agree or disagree? Why? How can we approach our relationships realistically while still leaving room for the romance?
Chapter 7
Jermaine knew that his image, his message, his whole life was a mirage . . . an illusion. He was the premiere motivational speaker in the country, and he had difficulty motivating himself to get up each day. In fact, he was seriously and creatively contemplating suicide. He knew himself to be a fraud, but he continued the performance. Why? Why do any of us daily don our masks, even recognizing them for what they are? What keeps us from being real—and asking for the help we desperately need (Proverbs 14:12)?
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