Ruined (The Hazed Series Book 3)

by Brittany Butler

She leaned in, nipping my ear. “I get like that, too. I can make it better.”

  I gripped her side, thinking. I need to take my mind off this shit anyway.

  “Seriously Hayze? Get a room,” Lea said, disgusted.

  “Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” the blonde said loud enough that she could hear.

  “It’ll get me the fuck out of here,” I said. I tapped on her thighs, pushing her off of me.

  Smiling with victory, she grabbed her clothes, and linked her hand with mine like this is a fucking date.

  “Out of here? I thought you lived here?” She frowned.

  “Darlin’ we’re not going back to my place.” You aren’t that special, I laughed.

  “I live too far. I don’t wanna wait that long.”

  I didn’t care to argue with her. I was leaving. If she wanted me, she could follow me. I didn’t beg for anyone. Any girl out here could give me what she could. I knew that and so did she. She followed after me, soon her friend was behind her.

  “Are they…” I heard Taylor ask Lea.

  I didn’t have to look back to know what I’d done. Lea was disappointed in me, and Taylor, well, if she had any intention of being around me, it was long gone.

  When we got to their car, I stopped. I couldn’t do this shit anymore. Not today. Despite their protests, I turned and walked back to my apartment. Those girls wouldn’t get her off my mind anyway, but I’m sure I had something in my apartment that would do the trick. I needed to be knocked out for a day anyway.

  10

  THE ALLEY

  I alternated between staring at the door and staring at my phone. I’d been sober all day. I sat on the couch, feeling the withdrawals rolling through my body. I sucked in a sharp breath, waiting for my body to stop shaking. This is why I never quit. It only becomes a problem when I try to quit. But I’m getting to the bottom of this things with Taylor tonight. We’ll be drinking, an opportunity will present itself and I’ll forget her.

  I walked over, grabbed a beer from the refrigerator, and sat on my bar stool. I could have a few drinks tonight, but I wasn’t doing anything else. Lea and Taylor would be here any minute and I wanted to see what it was like to be around her without using.

  I checked the time again, seeing they were late. For fuck’s sake, Lea.

  A knock came from the other side of the door. I jogged over, opening the door to find one of Joel’s friends. With a roll of my eyes, I let him in.

  I didn’t have to ask or make small talk, I walked over to the cabinet. “What do you need?”

  “A dime,” he said.

  I tossed it to him and he handed me the money. I opened the door, letting him out. Because of my luck, Taylor and Lea were there, watching the guy with suspicion.

  “Thanks man,” he said, eyeing Taylor.

  “No problem.”

  Lea walked in first, followed by Taylor. I didn’t hide that I was checking her out. My eyes followed her, inspecting every inch of her body. Every fucking inch. Because every fucking inch was exposed. Fucking, Lea.

  “Lea, did you dress her?” I asked and Lea nodded, happily appraising her work. “What a damn shame.”

  “What was that guy doing here?” Lea asked.

  “He had to pick something up,” I said, grabbing my keys.

  “What did he get?”

  I threw my hands in the air. Could she be any more obvious? I asked her to keep things quiet, and here she testing me.

  “You should think about changing your major, you would do the police department some good. Where are we going, ladies? Lea, so help me God, don’t say anything that has to do with a dance hall,” I said, ignoring Lea’s probing questions.

  “The Alley. Cowboys or frat daddies, I guess that’s all that’s in this town,” she said, walking out of the door.

  Taylor looked like she wanted to laugh, but she looked at me. “I thought Hayze was in a fraternity?”

  “My freshman year,” I said, amused.

  “Hold on a sec, I need to put on gloss before we go,” Lea said, running back inside to the bathroom.

  I stopped, waiting in the doorway for her to finish. Taylor crossed her arms, covering herself. I immediately felt bad about what I said before. She looked hot as hell, and I liked it. But that was the problem, she didn’t need me to like it. She didn’t need any guy in this town to like it either.

  “I didn’t mean that back there. You look beautiful. It just doesn’t seem like your style.”

  “It wasn’t exactly my first choice,” she said, biting her lip. The longer I watched her, the more uncomfortable she got, and she dropped her eyes to her feet.

  I grabbed her chin, lifting her face. “Don’t let anyone try to change you,” I said. I wasn’t sure what I meant, maybe I was warning her about myself.

  She cleared her throat, taking a step back. “It’s really late, does she always go out this late?”

  “It’s nine,” I said, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her. That only made her face glow red.

  “Yeah, I know, I saw the clock. On the rare occasion I could go to the movies or somewhere with my boyfriend, we would leave at like six…I would already be in the bed,” she laughed.

  It felt as if someone was sitting on my chest. My brows bunched together as she smiled. “You have a boyfriend?” I asked, completely stuttering.

  “No, I did…He was the only person I hung out with so I was just using him as an example. I guess I should’ve said ex.”

  That would’ve been helpful. It would’ve saved me from panic. I didn’t know her well enough, so I didn’t ask questions. I wondered what the guy was like and why they weren’t together anymore.

  “She’s taking a while in there,” she said.

  “Lea, you’re taking for-fucking-ever!”

  Lea breezes through the room, flipping me off. She walks ahead of us, leaving Taylor and I alone. As we approached my car, Taylor’s eyes lit up.

  “Sixty-nine Mustang, I fixed it up myself,” I said, tapping the roof.

  Lea pushed the seat up, climbing into the back, and Taylor took the front seat.

  “Don’t ask him about it, he won’t shut up,” she said.

  Taylor looked at her, smiling, then looked at me. “You fixed it all by yourself?”

  I nodded my head. My dad was supposed to help, but he got fucked-up on drugs. Glenn wouldn’t help. After months of the things setting in the garage, I walked out and started myself. It took for-fucking-ever, but I did it. That was one of the times I realized I didn’t need those people. I was better off on my own.

  “I did,” I said.

  Taylor hummed, impressed. The roads were so narrow in Nacogdoches. I was always on edge going out in this town. I was either going to drive up on the curb on slam into an idiot beside me. After several minutes of listening to Lea’s non-stop talking, I pulled into the Alley’s parking lot.

  “We should’ve taken your car, Lea,” I said, noting there were no spots open. “Mine’s gonna get scratched.”

  “And you don’t care if mine gets scratched?” She huffed.

  I drove to the back and pulled into a space with an empty slot beside us, hoping no one would touch my car. We all got out; Lea and I waited for Taylor as she adjusted her shorts. I shook my head, glaring at Lea.

  “What?” She asked, looking unfazed. “She’s hot. She should show it off.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re the last thing she needs.”

  Her brows shot up, looking me over. “Am I, Hayze? Am I?”

  Taylor walked up, and I tore my eyes from glaring at Lea. “Ready?”

  Lea loops her arm through Taylor’s as we walked to the bar. A covered sidewalk lined the front. Students were packed through the door in front of us, and Lea stopped us.

  “I almost forgot,” she said.

  She unzipped her purse and handed Taylor a license. For fuck’s sake, Lea. Taylor’s eyes went wide as she took it in.

  “Impressive,” she said.

  “All
is right in the world,” Lea said, dragging her in the bar.

  We stopped at the front, handing the guy our ID’s. He knew most everyone in here was underage. He lingered on Taylor’s.

  “Never seen you in here before,” he said.

  “She’s new,” Lea said, leaning over the bar.

  He nodded, satisfied with her answer, and gave Taylor her licenses back. She put it back in her purse, looking around the bar. I enjoyed watching her, it was like seeing everything for the first time again. I wanted to ask if she had ever been in a bar, but I didn’t. I’m sure, as I did, she had secrets she didn’t want anyone else to know.

  We all come to college, looking for a new identity, and hoping like hell no one finds out who we really are.

  I walked to the bar, grabbing a beer and a couple of fruity drinks for them. I looked around, finding Lea pulling her hand in the direction of the club.

  I caught up with them. Lea grabbed the drink thankfully, but Taylor stared at it as if it held the secrets of the universe. I dangled it in front of her, smiling.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked over the music.

  “Nothing.” She grabbed the drink and took a sip, frowning. I watched her, smiling. This might have been the first drink she had ever had. “What is it?” She asked, laughing at me.

  “You’re cute.”

  Her smile fell and she quickly looked off. The first girl I complimented got pissed about it. I took another drink, trying to forget about it. I needed something stronger. I couldn’t function in here without it. I was saying and doing all of the wrong things.

  Lea came back, dragging us through the long hallway and into the loud, dark side of the bar that I hated. I dodged two drunk girls, falling into me. And cringed as the music cranked up louder. This is the last place on earth a person needs to be while weening themselves of drugs.

  “Welcome to the next four years of your life. Wanna dance?” Lea shouted over the loud music.

  “Not right now,” Taylor said.

  Two of my old frat brothers, Mark and Derek, walked up, clasping me on the shoulder. They had a small tray of shots. Lea took one without being asked.

  “Your turn,” she yelled, turning to Taylor.

  She grabbed it and tossed it back before I could get it from her. I thought about slapping it from her hand, but that would be crossing the line, even for me. Her face squished, looking like she had just bit into a lemon.

  “You shouldn’t take drinks from strangers,” I said, leaning into her ear.

  “I thought he was your friend.”

  My sweet Taylor. I laughed once without humor. “You definitely shouldn’t accept drinks from my friends.”

  I shouldn’t have said that. I walked off, needing something stronger. I walked to the opposite side of the building, in the direction of the bar. Before I made it out of the hallway, two girls were near me.

  I grimaced as Shelby hugged me. “Hayze!” She slurred.

  Her friend kept up with her pace, watching me with a grin. Her bright red hair was curled and make-up was caked on her face. I didn’t know what made girls think that was attractive.

  I walked to the bar, holding up a finger to the bartender. He shook his head, and handed me another beer.

  “A shot, too,” I said.

  He didn’t even have to ask, he knew. He grabbed the vodka, filling it to the rim and handed it to me. I tossed it back and slammed it on the bar.

  “Are you gonna get us one?” Shelby asked, pawing at my arm.

  “You’re capable of buying your own,” I said.

  Her jaw dropped, but she didn’t go anywhere. She and her friend stuck around, babbling about stupid shit. I just needed to get away. Everywhere I went, someone was around me. I pointed to the vodka and he handed me one more. After that one, I walked away.

  The girls, of course, followed me as I walked back to our table. Lea and Taylor weren’t standing where I left them with Mark and Derek. I started panicking, searching the bar for them. When I saw them on the dance floor, my tension left.

  I watched her move to the music. Thinking she had no experience with this, I assumed she wouldn’t be the best dancer, but I was memorized watching her. She laughed with Lea, joking as she danced, but she was amazing.

  “What is it with her?” Shelby snarled.

  “What?” I asked, tearing my eyes from Taylor. I took a drink and tried to pretend like I was paying attention to the group at the table.

  “Taylor…The girl from Mystic. You and every other guy are always staring at her. Does she have a golden vagina?” She asked, smiling. She tried to play it off as a joke, but I could tell she was jealous.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “We wouldn’t know. She doesn’t flash it to everyone.”

  She slapped my shoulder, laughing. “I’m just having fun. Do you wanna get out of here?”

  Shelby looked back at her friend who was looking at me, biting her lip, hoping I’d say yes. Taylor and Lea were walking up. I stood up straight, shaking my head, hoping they’d drop it.

  Shelby’s friend with too much make-up, stepped around her, and clutched my arm. When Lea and Taylor walked up, she glared at them. I almost laughed out loud, the way to get me to leave with you wasn’t by being a bitch to my sister.

  “The three of us should get out of here,” she said, still staring at Lea and Taylor. I almost asked if she was talking to them, but I let it go.

  “Nah, I’m with my friends,” I said, pointing to them.

  “You’ll have more fun with us.”

  “He said no! Jesus! Leave with some self-respect,” Lea said as I took a swig of my beer. I stepped back, hiding my cough as the table howled with laughter.

  “I’ll go with you,” Derek said, but she wasn’t amused.

  Finally, she left, her face was flushed and she was pissed. Shelby followed behind her, laughing at her friend. I couldn’t stop laughing. Lea pounded her fist on the table, looking at me.

  “Let’s get out of here,” she said.

  “Another bar?” Taylor asked, and Lea nodded.

  As we were leaving, Taylor went to the restroom. Lea and I waited in the hallway. “What’s the deal with her?” I asked, nodding to the restroom.

  She pursed her lips together, annoyed with my infatuation. It probably wasn’t the best idea that someone like me, who was so easily addicted, found someone attractive in more than a physical way. It was potentially dangerous.

  “She’s never been out before.”

  “What do you mean? Like to a bar?” I asked, my interest was piqued.

  She threw her hands up. “Probably anywhere…She was sheltered. Her dad was a preacher and…”

  I brought my hand to my mouth, holding back laughter. A girl that I’m infatuated with is a preacher’s daughter. “Do you think she’ll get wild?”

  “No, I really don’t. She’s different. She’s really sweet, Hayze. Don’t do her like you do all the other girls. Just leave her alone,” she said, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

  “I’m not, Lea. She’s a friend…I’m just curious about her.”

  “I’m only telling you this so you will understand the importance of leaving her alone,” she said, stressing each word. She looked around, bringing her hand to the side of her mouth. “She’s a virgin,” she whispered.

  Fuck.

  That word made me want her more. No one had touched her. She had never been out. Even if I was the biggest piece of shit on this Earth, she had no one to compare me to. This might work.

  She walked out, smiling. “Ready?”

  “Next bar,” Lea said and Taylor yawned.

  “You okay with that Taylor?” I asked. Lea rolled her eyes at me.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, fighting a yawn.

  “Let’s stay over here for a while,” I said, pointing to the quiet side.

  “It’s so lame,” Lea complained.

  I walked through the hall and stopped in the room I spent my time in. There were only a few people in h
ere. Pool tables and one bar filled the space. It was relaxed and no one bothered you in here. When I needed a calm night, I came here to play pool.

  “It’s fine, Lea,” Taylor said, hopping up on a pool table. I grabbed a stick, handing it to her.

  “Do you know how to play?” I asked.

  She took the stick, confused. “What? Pool?”

  I smirked, holding back a smart-ass response. “Yeah.”

  She shook her head. I patted her thigh, and she hopped off the table. I gathered the balls, centering them. “I’ll break,” I said.

  I leaned over the table, lining the stick up. I pushed it with ease, breaking them, and they went rolling in each direction. Two solids went in, and I walked around the table, looking for an easy shot.

  “Solids,” I said, and she looked at me as if I’d just grown two heads. “You’re trying to knock the stripes ones in.”

  I aimed, and purposely missed so she could have a try. If I didn’t, I would’ve knocked them all in without giving her a chance. She mimicked what I had done, leaning over the table, and fixing the pool stick over her thumb.

  Her shorts slid up, showing off even more of her leg. She’s a virgin. I walked up behind her, adjusting the stick so she would have a chance. She tensed as I touched her, but she knocked a ball in a pocket.

  “You’re welcome,” I smirked.

  She crossed her arms at her chest, looking confident. “You shouldn’t have done. Now you’re gonna lose.”

  I laughed once, “That’ll be the day.”

  I motioned for her to try on her own. She leaned over, trying to get in the right stance. I couldn’t pay attention to her form or if she was even going to hit a ball. I was having an internal battle with myself between checking out her ass and reminding myself she was a preacher’s daughter and a virgin.

  She missed the shot, shoving the stick in my direction. She was clearly competitive. I chuckled, and jogged over to the bar. I got two more shots of vodka and a beer. I walked over, holding a shot for her, but she shook her head no.

  Shrugging my shoulders, I threw them both back and chased it with my beer. I knocked a couple more balls in a pocket.

  “You’re drinking a lot for someone that doesn’t drink,” she said, pointing to the empty glasses.