by T. K. Chapin
“Yes. I read a lot of the Bible to help with my anger and sadness.”
“Good, and see? God sustained you. Just keep doing that. Keep giving yourself to Jesus, Parker. You’re a good kid and things are going to work out for you.”
“Thanks, Mr. D.” He hugged Tyler. As Parker joined the other teens who were finding seats in the metal folding chairs, Tyler stood back and surveyed the crowd of young adults.
Tyler’s heart was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt for how much sadness he was enduring over Olivia. The work he was doing at Crosspoint with the teens was what was important in life, not a girl who didn’t want to be with him anymore. He wouldn’t deny feeling hurt by what was transpiring with Olivia, but he did resolve to stop letting it consume him. He made up his mind right there in the youth group building to start putting the past away and doing what he had just told Parker to do, to give himself to Jesus.
Rising the next morning, he showered, got dressed, and headed to the location in Otis Orchards where a small ceremony was taking place in honor of the new Children’s Museum. The morning air held a bite to it, so Tyler put on his winter gloves, then exited his car. Approaching Jonathan and Mr. Chu, the client, Tyler shook their hands as they waited for the board of directors to show, along with the media reporters.
“I was just talking to Mr. Chu, and he said he came to know Jesus in North Korea over two decades ago.” Jonathan directed his words to Tyler.
“Oh, wow! I bet you have an amazing testimony.”
“Yes. Bible not allowed there. They ship in food crates from other countries. My dad read Bible at night. In day, he hide Bible.”
“It’s so hard to imagine life without the freedoms we have in America.” Tyler turned to the plot of dirt, then back to Mr. Chu. “So, this is a real project of love for you?”
“Yes. I have large love for my Savior Jesus.”
Within minutes, everyone expected had shown, and the wind started to pick up speed, adding to the already painful temperature. Tyler willed the ceremony to commence, but it seemed like everything was moving slowly.
“We can’t find the shovel. Has anyone seen it?” A man asked as the crowd gathered. Nobody responded to the man and he continued searching around the area in a hurried panic.
Jonathan came over to Tyler.
“So Olivia is moving out of the cabin and into a place of her own.”
“That’s great.” Jonathan looked happy for her, which hurt Tyler a fraction, even though he didn’t want to admit it.
“Yep.” Tyler glanced away.
“Remember, God has a plan, Brother. He always does. Don’t give up hope.”
Tyler turned and looked Jonathan in the eyes. “Honestly, I don’t see us working out anymore, and I’m okay with that, or striving to be, anyway.”
“I didn’t mean don’t give up hope on her. You might need to do that. What I meant is don’t give up hope on God. There are plenty of other girls out there, Christian ones too. He will bring you a mate in His timing. You just have to wait.”
Mr. Chu called Jonathan away a moment later, leaving Tyler with his own thoughts. His brother was correct in the fact that there were plenty of other women in the world, Christian ones too, but that didn’t change how Tyler felt in the slightest. He loved Olivia, not those other women. He knew that even though Olivia was leaving physically, she’d be in his heart forever.
A cold gust of wind blew through the area and pressed against Tyler’s already frosty cheeks, and he clenched his jaw in annoyance for the cold. Someone got in front of the gathered crowd and announced it was time for the ceremony to commence. Tyler was relieved and moved with the crowd to huddle near the mound of dirt where Mr. Chu was standing. With the shovel in hand, Mr. Chu tapped it into the cold ground and then jumped on it, shoveling up a large chunk. The crowd erupted in cheers and clapping.
Arriving home later that day, Tyler went inside his house and prepared a chicken salad. He sat down in the dining room and said a prayer over his food before diving in. Not long into eating, he heard a vehicle in the driveway and set his fork down to go investigate. Peering out the window in his living room, he saw Chet’s truck and Olivia driving alone in it. Leaping at the chance to see her once more and offer a hand with her stuff, he put his coat on and headed out the front door. But upon stepping out onto the front porch, he saw another vehicle arriving in the driveway. It was her father, Dan, in his own car. Tyler stepped back into his house.
He shut the door and returned to his salad in the dining room after putting up his coat. Tyler’s heart pounded at the reality before him. She’d be leaving for good and he’d not see her again after this, possibly forever. He fought every urge he had to go down to the cabin. He even stood up from the table several times to go but stopped himself each time. Unable to finish his food, he placed the salad bowl in the sink in the kitchen and took to the living room. He knew what he needed and dove into the Word. Tyler sat on the couch and turned straight to the book of Psalms, knowing it would soothe his soul to read of those who struggled like him.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1
Tears in his eyes and a weariness in his heart, Tyler cried out in prayer. You alone are my refuge and my strength, God. Oh, how I’ve failed to keep You in the rightful place in moments of weakness. I let my heart pull away. He covered his moist eyes with his palms. With broken words, he uttered, “Let my heart rely on You alone, God!”
Returning to Psalms 46 a moment later, he continued reading. As Tyler continued, he pushed his heart and mind deeper into seeking God. Then, he came to Psalm 46:10 and he stopped.
Be still, and know that I am God . . .
Psalm 46:10
Stillness wasn’t a part of Tyler’s life in the slightest. He was always on the move, always doing something. The verse tore through layers of his being and confronted his core in a real way. He thought of the blue bird outside his window at the inn and how he had stopped to be still and listen at that time. He knew it was missing in his life then, and he knew it was still so. He stopped reading and relaxed himself on the couch. Be still. He controlled his breathing to short and controlled breaths and did his best to still himself fully. He was able to do it, but not for long, and not without his mind eventually tail-spinning out of control. Tyler kept trying, though. Eventually, he grabbed his cell phone and set a timer for five minutes. Not able to control his thoughts, he decided to focus on the Scripture as he was still. ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’ He did this for the next thirty minutes, practicing in intervals of five minutes. By the end, he was more relaxed than he had been in a long time, and he felt a noticeable increase in peace. Thank you, Lord.
When he heard a vehicle outside driving by, he went over to the window and watched as Olivia and her father, with her father’s packed car, drive past his house. The red glow of the taillights eventually vanished down the path and Tyler lowered his head.
“Goodbye, Olivia.”
Chapter 36
SEVEN MONTHS FLEW BY FOR Olivia in the city. She had graduated with her certificate of dental assisting the same month she had moved into her apartment, then was able to get on with a dental office on the South Hill and had worked there ever since. A couple of months after starting that job, her parents dissolved the guardianship and returned Molly to her care as promised. Her mother still watched Molly. Olivia ended up not joining her parents’ church, but instead attended a Calvary Chapel in the Spokane Valley. Her cousin Rachel had gone to rehab three months ago and had arrived back in Spokane just a couple of weeks ago. In rehab, she had mentioned on the phone that she wanted to go to church when she got back, so she finally did one Sunday. After service that Sunday, Rachel joined Olivia and Molly for lunch at Zips, a local fast-food joint in Spokane.
Olivia sat across from her cousin as they both ate burgers and fries. Rachel kept looking at Molly in her highchair and smiling, not saying much. Then, Olivia finally set her burger d
own on its wrapper and wiped her mouth with a napkin.
“Did you like Calvary Chapel?”
“Yeah, I enjoyed it. Did you know I believed in God before rehab?”
Olivia was surprised to hear it. While Rachel wasn’t vocal like Olivia had been about her lack of faith, Rachel also didn’t seem like one who had much faith in anything. “No idea. So, you’ve been a believer for a while?”
“Not like I am now, but I did pray. I asked God to kill me on many occasions. To let the next dose be the one that puts me over. I was in a very bad place toward the end.”
“I’m so sorry, Rach. I wish I could’ve been there for you.”
She shook her head, picking her burger back up. “No, that wouldn’t have been good for you to be around. You did the right thing not coming around me. I think I was able to find my bottom that way.”
“So, what’s your plan now?” Olivia asked, then took a sip from the straw in her soda.
“I’m enrolled for business management at Spokane Community College and I’m living life.”
“Where are you living?”
“The shelter.”
Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. She didn’t like the idea of her cousin being out on the streets and living in a shelter when she herself had an extra room going unused in her apartment. After saying a prayer and asking God, she felt convicted enough to know it was the right offer.
“Come live with me and Molly.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am. I want to help. I’m also pleased with what you’ve been accomplishing in your life, and you are continuously moving forward. You can stay as long as you need.”
Sliding out of the booth, she came around to Olivia and wrapped her arms around her.
“You’re the best cousin and friend a girl could ask for!”
Rachel wasted no time in moving into the apartment. That evening, she showed up with a suitcase and a smile on Olivia’s doorstep. As Olivia got ready for bed that night in the en-suite bathroom, she dabbed off her makeup with a wipe and paused as she peered at her reflection in the mirror. She thought of how thankful Rachel had been for the chance to come live with her and get a second chance at being in her life. Olivia couldn’t help but think of Tyler and how he had handed her chance after chance when she didn’t feel she deserved it.
Whenever he brushed across her mind, she missed him to the point it was almost painful. She’d pause whatever she was doing and let her thoughts, though painful, dwell on everything she had experienced with him. She hoped he was happy. She hoped he had moved on.
Chapter 37
EIGHT MONTHS AFTER THEY CELEBRATED the ground-breaking ceremony for the Children’s Museum, Willow Design was invited to attend a pre-opening show of the exhibits a full two months before the official launch in August.
Tyler fell out of step with the rest of the crowd that evening and walked over toward a garbage can with his complimentary glass of champagne. He pitched the full glass in the black garbage receptacle and glanced up. There was no lighting for the exhibit before his eyes, and thus, it wasn’t part of the tour that night. He came closer and saw two stuffed giraffes in the shadows. A little closer, and then his eyes fell on Noah’s Ark. His heart raced as Molly and Olivia pressed against his heart and mind. He thought specifically of the mobile that hung above Molly’s crib.
His heartache had lessened with time, but it still resided with him daily. He thought of the two of them often. He walked to the ark and rested a hand against the wood. Then he smoothed his hand against the soft grain. It was perfect.
For a moment, he thought of himself being in the position of Noah the day God had commanded him to build an ark. It didn’t take long for Tyler to realize he knew he would question every aspect of the process and squirm the whole time. Questions came to his mind instantly that he knew would be present if he were Noah. What if an animal gets sick and dies? How would they reproduce? How can I build this big boat by myself? Why’s it going to flood when it’s never rained? And the questions kept going.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he thought of Olivia’s sea-blue eyes. He missed her so much it hurt, and all he wanted was for her to come back to him. If only she would come back. As his desires and thoughts of her spun out of control, he grabbed hold of them and prayed. Lord, Your will, not mine.
A pat of a hand on his back startled him in the dimly lit exhibit. He turned and saw it was Jonathan. He had his warm smile and black bowtie on.
“What are you doing, Tyler? You’re going to miss all the exhibits that are ready to view.”
“Just hanging out.” Smirking, Tyler shrugged a shoulder and tried to push his thoughts away, but his brother was quick to notice something was off.
“You’ve got her on your mind, don’t you?”
“Is it that obvious?”
Jonathan frowned. “Let’s go catch up with the group, Bro. There’s a ‘remove the thorn in Paul’s side’ game in the next room and a pretty girl who wants to meet you.”
Tyler laughed. “That sounds bizarre.”
“I know, but she insisted she wants to meet you.”
They both laughed as they went to catch up with the others.
Chapter 38
ONE DAY IN AUGUST WHILE on her lunch break at the dental office, Olivia was reading the Spokesman Review newspaper while she ate her tuna fish and pickles she had brought from home in a Tupperware container. She finished reading a story about a new free water feature in a park opening next week on the fourteenth and then turned the page, not meaning to stop on the Art section. Her heart leapt into her throat as her eyes fell on a picture of Tyler standing with his brother Jonathan and an Oriental man. She began to read the article and discovered they were involved in helping with the design of a brand-new Christian Children’s museum that was opening. Her heart raced more and more as she combed the article for any mentions of Tyler, but there were none other than the mention of his name beneath the picture in the caption.
She set the newspaper down with trembling fingers on the table in the break room and tried to process her emotions. She thought of him occasionally, but she had thought it was remnants of the past, nothing serious. They were just pleasant memories that floated up from time to time, nothing to make her want to reach out to him. That is, until now when she saw his face. Picking up the newspaper again, she read over the article more and figured out the opening date for the museum. It was today. As soon as she read it, she started thinking of who could watch Molly, but then it dawned on her that it was a children’s museum. This worked to her advantage as she wouldn’t have to tell anyone what she was up to by going. She could simply be taking Molly to the museum. If Tyler had moved on and was dating someone, she could easily pass off her reason for being there on her kid, pretending to not even know Tyler was a part of it. The plan was bulletproof in her mind. As her deception tactics became apparent to her, she questioned herself. Why do you want to see him? You chose to leave him. You broke his heart. She confronted herself blatantly in thought. Without hesitation, her thoughts answered back clearly. I miss him.
Olivia returned to work and thought more of Tyler the rest of her day. She felt in her heart that now was a perfect time in her life to pursue a relationship with him, which made her wonder if it was too late. Her thoughts began to toy with her emotions and worried her. A man that gorgeous, generous, God-fearing, and perfect doesn’t stay on the market forever, Olivia. You missed your chance with him. She had caused a lot of pain in Tyler’s life, and she doubted that he still held the affection he once had for her.
After work, she went to her parents’ house to pick up Molly. She resolved not to go to the museum, knowing in her heart that he had to have moved on and she didn’t want to see that. As her mother filled her in on the happenings with Molly over the day, she paused and touched Olivia’s arm.
“Hey, your dad said there is a new Christian children’s museum that opened today in Otis Orchards. His friends just told him about it. You
should take Molly.”
Olivia’s heart jolted. “Yeah?”
“Yes! She would love it. They have a Noah’s Ark exhibit that is amazing from what your father’s friend said who took his family this morning. All the exhibits are Christian themed and there is a ton of history from the Bible. I think you might enjoy it also!”
She took it as a sign from God that she needed to go. There was too much push toward that direction to ignore it any longer.
“Okay. We’ll go right now.”
Pushing Molly in the stroller through the parking lot at the museum, the hot August heat was zapping Olivia of the remaining energy she had after working all day. By the time she arrived at the ticket booth to get inside, she was ready to leave. Then, Tyler’s face flashed through her thoughts and gave her a burst of energy. She had to see him. She bought the tickets at the booth.
“Thanks. Do you sell water, by chance?”
“Yes, inside, we do.”
Olivia took the tickets and headed in through the double doors with the stroller. As she came inside, the swirling fans above her head pushed cool air down over top of her and Molly, refreshing her and chilling her body temperature instantly. Spotting a food court to the left, she pushed the stroller toward it. With each step she took, Olivia glanced around the museum looking for the one face she wanted to see. Tyler. But he wasn’t anywhere to be found.
After getting a cup of water, she and Molly went through the exhibits and stopped at each one, interacting and learning. On Noah’s Ark, Molly ran through the ark and up to the top with glee-filled sounds. Olivia inspected the stuffed animals inside and it reminded her of the mobile that hung above Molly’s head when she was an infant. She smiled.