by K. J. Dahlen
I stared at him in stunned shock. He had a slight smile on his face, and his eyes had lit up, as he remembered the day he was taken on by Bruno. But I couldn’t get over what he had just revealed to me—Jax had been blackmailed into joining the Black Devils MC! And, somehow, Bruno had made Jax feel grateful for it.
As Jax thought back to that day, and the events that followed, he started to reveal more, “Bruno told me he saw a young man with potential and gave me a shot at a job working for him. He pays all of my brothers – and he pays them well. He told me I was worth something and that I could make something of myself at a time when even my own mother didn’t believe in me. He made me believe in me.”
I stayed quiet to let him talk. I could see the point he was making,
“Shit. I didn’t even believe in me, not then.”
I sighed this might have been true but it didn’t change the fact that Bruno practically owned him to this day for doing him a favor one time‒saving him from the cops.
Jax went on, “I learned. I did everything that was asked of me; and I was doing damn well in my training with De Luca, doing great, and I couldn’t give up on that. If I made it as a full patch member, the job would come with a lot of perks too, including this apartment. I had a real opportunity with the club nobody else would have given me.”
Finally, I expressed how really felt, “Opportunity? That’s pretty twisted,” I said shaking my head. It was clear to me that Jax was no more than a puppet, and Bruno was pulling the strings. I didn’t even want to imagine how many hours of his life he had slaved to line his boss’ pockets with cash, and how many people Jax had killed on Bruno’s orders.
Jax shook his head. “The Black Devils are a solid and honourable motorcycle club, Chloe. Bruno designed it that way. He founded the MC in honor of his brother, Charlie, who was a good man, and Bruno promised him the club would be something Charlie would have been proud of. When I met Bruno, he took me into the back office and explained to me how the club protected and improved this town, and how I could be a part of it. I had a shot at making something of myself and doing something good with my life.”
“That may be, but you were blackmailed into that MC, Jax. Just face it,” I argued.
Jax slammed his hands down on his thighs. “No! It wasn’t like that. Nothing like that, at all. Don’t you see? Bruno believed in me and I’ve never had that before. Not even my own mother believed in me. He gave me a chance and I’ll never forget th—”
“It’s simple enough, Jax,” I cut him off before he could go on and my voice had risen. “Bruno did you a favor ten years ago, so now he flat-out owns you for life!” I exclaimed.
“No!” he yelled, throwing his head back and his eyes to the ceiling.
“That’s what you said Jax,” I snapped back.
“I said no such thing. My MC means the world to me. In all the years we’ve been friends, I would have thought you understood that. If you didn’t have a problem with my club back then, then why do you have a problem with it now? Bruno gave me everything. All I had to do was put in the effort…I dread to think what would have become of me if I hadn’t been patched in.”
I sighed. “I don’t have a problem with your MC, Jax. You never told me about how you joined, that’s all.”
“Listen. Working for Bruno is a big deal. Bruno’s well respected, ruthless, fiercely competitive, and a winner in every respect. ‘A king among men’ that’s what they call him. Any guy would jump at the chance to be mentored by him. And he wanted me. Me, Chloe!”
I nodded my head, although not entirely convinced, knowing that I’d offended Jax deeply. His club was everything to him.
Jax made one final attempt to sway my view of Bruno and his club, “Back then, after I left school, I took drugs, stole, got into fights. I’d made a mess of my life and my mom was practically done with me. Then, when I started prospecting at the Black Devils, I directed all my energies to earning enough money to buy my first bike. If it hadn’t been for the MC, I’m sure my life would have come to a bad end long ago. Who knows by this time, I might even be dead if it weren’t for the MC. They gave me a purpose I didn’t have before.”
I considered the information for a moment and then nodded, sincerely. I never looked at it that way. Maybe it was true, he would’ve ended up badly. “I understand.”
There was minute or two of silence as his edginess calmed down; we were both now fairly drained.
Jax broke the silence first, “Anyway, not having a dad around really fucked me up. My point is that I didn’t want the same for you. I got lucky being patched into the Black Devils. I had my brothers and a sense of family that I’d been missing. But you never had that…not after your dad was gone. I had to pay it forward somehow.” He took hold of both my hands in his and pulled me to my feet. With his arm over my shoulder again, Jax walked me over to his bedroom. “You can sleep in my room, I’ll take the couch.” He pushed open the door, “Come and stay with me here, Chloe. I’m not all bad, you know. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m trying to help you.”
“Just give me a minute Jax, ok? I need to think.” I stepped inside and took a glance around the room.
“Take all the time you need. I’ll make us some coffee.” He disappeared out of the doorway.
The bedroom was small and depressingly basic, no TV, an old radio, a mirror on the wall opposite the bed, and a bedside table with an alarm clock. Judging by what I’d seen of Jax’s place, it was obvious he spent a lot more time in his MC clubhouse than he did in this apartment.
The sole virtue of the bedroom was the large sash window that looked right out over Coronado and its miles of motionless waterfront. Disappointingly, with the heavy rain streaming down the window and thick fog outside, visibility was next to nothing. If it hadn’t been such a rotten day, the view would be nothing short of spectacular.
I walked over to the foot of the bed and sat down. I stared at my reflection in the mirror on the wall that faced me. My face looked as exhausted as my mind and body felt. As I stared at my drained face, I told myself one thing, Jax didn’t have to worry. I wasn’t going anywhere tonight. My next thought was that any longer than one night would be madness. Although I trusted Jax, for all I knew, he had an agenda all his own.
My eyes traveled down my body, and then winced at the horrific look of my arms as deep scratches, redness and black and purple bruises covered them.
Count yourself lucky you got away from Roy, it could have been much worse.
I pulled up the short sleeves of the shirt over my shoulder; the skin on my shoulder was even redder than my arms. It only made me hope that Roy had never done the same or worse to anybody else—especially, my mother.
Chapter Four
(Jaxson)
Trying to reason with that girl was like a series of heartbreaks.
My priority had been keeping Chloe safe. When she’d tried to leave, I instinctively knew I would have to do whatever it took to make sure she stayed with me and not Roy. At the same time, I could feel the pressure of the guilt for causing Jessie death, which had been on my mind for years, begging to be released at last. I hadn’t intended to be dishonest with Chloe, but after the emotional day she’d had, she wasn’t thinking straight.
The plan had been to tell Chloe the truth about how her father died. Chloe would have understood that I meant it when I told her in the past that I would always protect her, no matter what. I’d thought it would convince her that she would be safe to stay with me.
Instead, I felt like I’d just lied to her again. The fear of her hating the thought of me stopped me from admitting the full truth at the last moment. It wasn’t like it was all lies. Everything I’d told her was the truth… I would have looked out for Chloe and Sheila anyway, if I had known their situation – that sort of thing was what I’d joined my MC to do.
However, the reason I knew about Chloe and her mother’s situation was one critical detail that I had omitted from my explan
ation. The critical detail that would make Chloe hate me forever. I’d been economical with the most important truth of the story—why I had always felt passionately about protecting Chloe.
I heard the coffee gurgle, and as I poured the hot brew into our mugs, I thought back the years I had spent with Chloe when we were both younger…
For seven years, before Chloe went away to College, she was the only real friend I had outside of my MC. We’d gotten extremely close. I was really close to her mother too. I felt a sudden pang of guilt. I had only spoken briefly to Chloe on the phone at birthdays and Christmas while she’d been away. I hadn’t spoken to Sheila at all.
I couldn’t help but wonder when it was during those three years at College when she had turned into such a fucking-gorgeous woman. My jaw had nearly dropped to the floor when I’d seen Chloe standing in the entrance of the bar. She looked so desirable that every guy in the room noticed her. Every one of them noticed me too, as I approached her and held her in my arms.
I’d always known that Chloe would grow up to be a first-class girl. She was smart, funny and had become mind-bendingly sexy. She’d come back from College a decorated university graduate – making her officially, out of my league and totally unattainable. I’d been used to getting any girl I wanted, but Chloe was a in a class of her own that I could not touch. As I lifted our mugs of coffee to take them to Chloe in the bedroom, I told myself there was no point wasting time on fantasies when I knew they could never become a reality.
I came through the bedroom door with two mugs in hand.
“Okay. You win. But just one night,” Chloe said.
I breathed a sigh of relief. For now, she would be safe from Roy Harris.
She sat in front of the mirror at the foot of my bed. She looked forlorn, as though trying to get grasp on what felt like a hopeless situation.
Inside, I was felt the same about my issues with Antonio. I handed Chloe her coffee and sat down beside her.
As I looked at her body again in the mirror, my mind clung to the image of Roy beating Chloe down and trying to rip off her clothes. It was my responsibility to keep her safe and I had let her down, but I would be damned if I would ever let it happen again.
Chloe broke our thoughtful silence, “My father being who he was and you a member of the Black Devils. That alone would make us enemies, right?”
I nodded my head.
“That means it’s forbidden for us to be friends, doesn’t it?” Chloe asked.
“Yes, it’s against club law,” I answered, bluntly.
She looked down at her drink and didn’t respond.
“But I made a promise to myself and to you that I would do anything to make sure you had good life.”
Chloe looked up at me and her eyes registered fear. “And if we get caught. Will there be consequences?”
“Not that I’m aware of, no,” I lied through my teeth so that I could reassure her.
“You sure about that?”
I chewed on my bottom lip as I nodded my head. I despised myself for having just lied to Chloe, again. It was difficult to tell whether she bought my dishonesty, but as she stared at my eyes, I felt sure she hadn’t. There was a strange moment of unspoken understanding. We both knew that by protecting her I was risking both my patch in the Black Devils and possibly…my life.
Chloe looked down at her coffee again before she spoke, “You know, you could leave your MC, Jax…if you wanted to. It’s your life.”
I nearly choked on my drink. I’d thought she understood but with her statement, I knew she would never understand. “Never. No way. I pledged a solemn vow of loyalty to my club and I don’t think I could ever leave it now. Those guys are my partners. My brothers. That’s supposed to count for something. Besides, once you’re in the brotherhood you’re in it for life. That’s just the way an MC works. It’s who I am Chloe, and that will never change.” I turned my head away sharply.
“Are you ok?” Chloe asked, craning her head to see my face.
I pulled myself together and changed the subject, “You want a cigarette?” I asked as I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a pack.
“No, I don’t smoke. Clean body, clean soul,” she retorted, glaring at me with her arms crossed. “You sure you’re ok, Jax?” she persisted.
“Yeah, it’s just…what’s important is that you are safe now.” I pushed my bedroom window open just wide enough for a smoke, and lit up. I was still worried about my own problem in the club too. I took a long draw, and racked my brains as to how to move forward…Antonio wanted my blood. The vote for club president was in less than three days. And Roy would be pissed as hell if he knew I, a Black Devil, had Chloe. I knew that the Bloods used Roy’s repair shop when they busted up their bikes. Although Roy didn’t have a patch, he was effectively one of them.
The wind from outside blew in my direction, the biting, drizzly air hit my face and interrupted my thoughts. When I rested my elbows back down on the windowsill, I looked out at the clubhouse in the distance.
“What is it about guys and bikes?” Chloe asked from behind me.
I stubbed out my cigarette and shut the window. “Sorry?” I asked, moving back toward the bed to sit beside her.
“I mean I get it, the wind in your face and the absolute freedom of the road but is that all there is? Or am I missing something here? I guess I could never get my head around it. Why the MC means so much to some guys.”
I shrugged. “Like I told you before, the MC means something different to everyone. To me, it meant I had a family for the first time in my life. I had a purpose, a meaning I never had before. My mom, she always told me I would never amount to anything. She always said I had too much of my dad in me and he was a lousy old man. The MC gave me what I needed even when I didn’t know what that was.”
“And now?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Now, I can’t see a time when I don’t belong. This way of life isn’t for everyone, hell it fuckin scares the civilians but me…I’m hooked for life.”
“I think it’s time for me to go to bed,” Chloe admitted.
Yeah, I’d given her a lot to think about. “Okay.” I smiled and picked up my empty coffee cup. Leaning closer to Chloe, I brushed her forehead with my lips. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”
I closed the door behind me and went into the kitchen. Putting my cup in the sink, I glanced back at my closed bedroom door. I couldn’t help but worry about what the morning would bring. I hoped like hell that she would still be here when the sun came up.
Chapter Five
(Chloe)
When I laid down on the pillow, Jax’s scent hit me hard. He’d given me a lot to think about. Now breathing in his scent was a powerful aphrodisiac. It overloaded my senses and made me giddy at the same time. My hand slipped into the sweatpants I was wearing and when I touched herself, I found I was wet. My fingers worked their magic and soon my breathing began to change and my mind kept imagining it was Jax’s fingers working me up into a lather. I bit my lips to stop myself from screaming out his name as I neared my own completion. Flicking my clit one last time, I had to turn my head into his pillow to keep from screaming his name out loud.
It took me a few minutes to come down from my high and for my heart to stop pounding in my chest. Briefly, I felt ashamed of my feelings for Jax. I knew I couldn’t help it but I secretly prayed he felt the same about me, even if it was a pipe dream. I’d been half in love with him since I was a child. Finally, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, I opened the bedroom door and tiptoed out to the living room.
“Morning.” He groaned when he saw me as he sat up and stretched out the kinks in his back from sleeping on the couch.
“Morning,” I said shyly. I didn’t want to admit it but I slept really good last night. Maybe it was the fact that Jax was in the other room and wouldn’t let anything happen to me but I’d finally gotten a good night’s
sleep.
“So what are your plans for the day?” Jax asked.
“I have to think about going home. My mom will be worried sick about me.”
He nodded. “Is she working today?”
Glancing over at the clock, I saw it was barely seven a.m. “She’ll just be getting to work about now.”
“I can swing by there and tell her where you are, if you like.”
“Why would you do that?” I asked. “Roy will be at work soon and it will be safe for me to go home.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think you should go back there.”
“Why not?”
“Because Roy Harris wants to hurt you and if you walk into that house and there’s no one there to protect you, he will hurt you,” he told me brutally.
I gasped. The same thoughts had been running through my head but I was too chicken to say them out loud. Groaning, I sat down on the sofa next to him. He put his arm around my shoulder and just held me. His warmth soaked into my skin.
“I can’t go home can I?” I asked him quietly.
Jax pulled me closer and didn’t say anything, he just held me.
I turned my head into his chest and the tears began running down my face. They soaked his t-shirt but Jax didn’t say a word. Finally, a few minutes later the tears stopped. “What am I supposed to do now? I can’t stay here and I can’t go home.”
“You can stay here for a little while,” Jax assured me. “We’ll figure it out as we go along. I’ll let your mom know that you’re safe but I won’t tell her where you are, just in case Roy comes looking for you.”
“Then what?” I asked without a clue as to what the answer might be.