Jaxson (Black Devils MC Book 1)

by K. J. Dahlen

  “Don’t even think that!” Deke shouted. “She has to make it. She just has to.”

  Reva joined the group and Gator whispered to her as explained to her what had happened.

  Everyone was waiting for some kind of word when a doctor came through the doors. When he glanced up and saw everyone, he looked surprised. Clearing his throat he called out, “Cassie Ryan?”

  Deke and Deacon stepped up.

  “How is she?” Deke asked. “Is she still alive?”

  The doctor stepped back. The tension in the room suddenly seemed unbearable. “Yes, both she and the baby are going to make it.”

  Deke felt the earth open under his feet. “Baby? What baby?”

  Deacon closed his eye briefly. He had suspected that Cassie was hiding something but he hadn’t thought about it much recently.

  “Ms. Ryan is about fourteen weeks pregnant,” he told them.

  “And the baby is okay?” Deke asked.

  The doctor nodded. “Both of them will be okay. We got the bullet out and were able to stop the bleeding. She’s in recovery right now and will be transferred to a room very soon.”

  “Oh thank you, Jesus!” Peaches cried out as she turned to hug Iceman.

  His arms wrapped around her even tighter.

  The doors opened again, and a woman and three kids came in.

  Iceman looked over and scowled. “Marnie, what the hell are you doing here?”

  “I brought Peaches,” she told him.

  Deacon turned his head and stared at the new woman in the group. His eyes widened as she returned his look with interest.

  A moment later, she turned back to Iceman and Peaches. “Is your friend going to be okay?”

  Peaches nodded. “The doctor just let us know.”

  Reva came over to Peaches and Marnie. “This maybe isn’t a place for children.” Looking at the three kids, she noticed their ragtag clothing and stark appearance.

  Marnie sighed. “Actually, we were on our way to see Cassie and ask her for help when we found out she’d been shot.”

  “Help? With what?” Reva asked.

  Marnie motioned to the children. “We needed some help to keep this family together. Boston Social Services doesn’t have a place to take all three. They were going to split them up and they’ve been through so much all ready.”

  Reva watched the kids for a moment longer, then walked over to Gator. Speaking quietly, she asked if he would object to helping them out.

  Gator searched her eyes for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “You do want you have to do. I’ll support you, whatever happens.”

  Reva smiled. “Thank you. You are the best husband in the world.”

  Gator grinned. “You got that right old woman.” He swatted her on the ass and watched her as she walked away.

  Reva left a little while later and took the three kids with her. She assured Marnie they would be safe and together, when she came by the compound later.

  Deke stared at Deacon for a moment then he asked, “Did you know about the baby?”

  “Not for sure,” Deacon admitted. “I had a feeling she was hiding something though.”

  Deke threw his hands in the air. “Was she ever going to tell me? That’s my kid too, you know.” He paced for a moment then said, “I could have lost them both today.”

  “I know,” Deacon agreed. “I love her too, man.”

  Deke stopped and stared at the other man. “Enough is enough. When they release her, she’s coming home with me and I won’t allow you or her to say otherwise. She belongs with me.”

  “Oh go blow it out of your ass, Deke.” Peaches got right in his face growling and snarling at him. “Cassie belongs to no one, unless she wants it that way. Do you hear me old man? She’s lived her whole life by somebody else’s rules, never had any say in what happened to her, now she’s grown up and doesn’t have to listen to you or anybody else if she doesn’t want to. And you…” She pointed her finger at him. “…You have to let her go, if she doesn’t want to stay with you!”

  “I don’t have to do anything of the kind,” Deke retorted. “She’s carrying my kid and that makes her mine, whether she likes it or not.”

  Iceman grabbed her and pulled her away from Deke just as Peaches was about to attack him. Deacon grabbed Deke and pulled him away as well. The two of them just glared at each other and the tension rose considerably.

  When the doors opened again and the doctor joined them, he could tell this was a room full of apprehensive people. He cleared his throat and glanced around his gaze stopping at Deacon and Deke. “She’s out of recovery and in her room now. I think for now until she’s stronger, you should go and see her two at a time. She’s very weak yet and in some pain. We can’t give her much for the pain as she’s pregnant but she knows that.”

  Deke nodded and walked down the hall toward her room.

  Deacon followed while the others stayed behind. Before he got to the door, Deacon grabbed Deke’s shoulder and turned him around to face him. “As her only living family, I’m warning you not to be an ass. Yes, we all know she’s carrying your child but that doesn’t mean shit, if you upset her. She’s fragile right now and you need to know I will do what I have to…to protect her, even from you. Right now, she’s all that matters. Do you understand that?”

  Deke tightened his lips but nodded. Turning around again, he pushed the door to the room open and walked inside.

  Cassie was laying on the bed. She had wires and tubes crawling all over her. She looked pale and had her eyes closed. There was a machine beeping next to her bed.

  Deke and Deacon moved closer.

  Deke reached for her hand. Holding it in his. He watched as she moved slightly.

  Turning her head, she opened her eyes. “Deke, is that you?” she whispered.

  “Yeah baby, I’m here.’ Deke mumbled as he knelt beside the bed. Reaching up with his hand, he brushed her hair away from her forehead.

  “I’m sorry Deke.”

  “About what?”

  “I should have told you about the baby,” she whispered brokenly. “I’m so sorry but I wanted you to love me for me. You were the one thing in my life I wanted for myself. I just wanted you to love me as much as I loved you. I guess I should have known better. I should have known somebody like you could never love somebody like me. I’m too damaged.” She closed her eyes briefly and tears ran down her cheeks. Turning her head away, she saw Deacon standing on the other side and she reached out to him.

  Deacon folded her into his arms and just held her while she cried.

  Deke sat back on his ass and just stared at her in someone else’s arms. He couldn’t believe what she’d said. Didn’t she know? Couldn’t she tell how much he cared about her? How could she think she was damaged? He looked up to see Deacon motion him toward the door. He didn’t want to leave her, not like this but he saw the wisdom of it. He didn’t want to upset her anymore than necessary.

  He got to his feet and slowly, quietly left the room. No one saw the tears run down his cheeks as he went to the end of the hall and stared out the window. How long he stood there, he couldn’t say but at some point, Gator came to stand beside him. Neither man said a word, they didn’t have to. Finally Deke looked over at his friend an asked, “Did you see her?”

  Gator nodded.

  “Is she all right?”

  “I think she will be, but it’s going to take time. It won’t happen overnight.”

  “Gator, she thinks a man like me could never love her because she’s damaged,” Deke spoke quietly. “How can she think that?”

  Gator sighed. “Have you ever told her how you feel?”

  “I told her she belonged to me, isn’t that enough?”

  Gator shook his head. “No man, it isn’t enough, not for someone like her.” He hesitated then added, “She’s someone very special. She never had even one person in her life other than her mother or maybe Peach
es tell her they loved her. She’s never been shown love before, not the kind between a man and a woman. I will tell you this, she loves you with every part of her being, body and soul. I’ve seen it in the way she looks at you. You are one lucky sonofabitch.”

  Deke sighed. “I was one lucky sonofabitch. I’m not so sure now.”

  Gator slapped him on the back. “Sure you are! You just have to convince her of the fact she can’t live without you in her life.”

  Deke glanced at his friend. “I’m not so sure I can live without her.”

  “Then show her that. Tell her that. She needs to hear the words man.”

  Deke nodded and walked back down the hall. He stopped in the doorway of her room but couldn’t go inside.

  Deacon was sitting beside her on the bed and Peaches was on the other side.

  Deke continued down the hall to the waiting room. He went over to Iceman and began speaking in a low voice.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “Tell me what the fuck happened? How did Cassie end up catching a bullet?” Deke asked with steel in his voice.

  “Like I said before, this little prick got here before I did. The night we grabbed the evidence, we took a shitload of money out of that house, money records, contacts, the whole fucking works. We took it all. The only thing Janelle had to give the Feds was her cooperation. I turned everything I found over to Leon and he followed the case. Everything was going good until a few days ago…” Iceman paused. “Janelle knew her time was about up and she made one last play. She sent Randall after Cassie. She figured if she were going down, she’d meet Cassie in hell. At least that’s what she told Leon before he killed her.”

  “Janelle is dead then? Are you sure?” Deke grabbed Iceman’s shirt.

  Iceman took a step away as he tugged his shirt from his grasp and nodded. “Yeah, she’s dead. So is Flynn Rearden. Calderone made sure of that himself.”

  “Good, then they both got what they deserved.”

  “So is it true?” Iceman asked. “She’s carrying your kid?”

  Deke nodded. He paused then asked, “I take it you and Peaches are an item?”

  Iceman nodded. “Yeah, we’re together, much to her family’s displeasure.”

  “Has she told you what they went through?”

  Iceman nodded. “I’m sure not all of it but yeah, she told me most of it.”

  “Cassie said something earlier that I don’t understand.” Deke shook his head. “She claims she’s damaged. Why would she say something like that? She was a virgin when we got together and she hasn’t been with anyone but me since then.”

  “I think it has to do with the word that’s carved in her back,” Iceman explained. “Maybe that and all the rest of her scars. Janelle and her kid really did a number on her.”

  “That don’t mean shit to me,” Deke assured him. “She is not now, nor ever been a whore.”

  “I’m glad to hear you say that,” Peaches said from behind him.

  Deke turned and saw her standing there. “How is she doing? She wouldn’t speak to me when I was in there.”

  Peaches nodded. “I think she’ll be okay. She’s scared though.”

  “Scared?” Deke was surprised. “What is she scared of?”

  “I think she’s scared of you.”

  “Me? Why is she scared of me?”

  “Oh man, are you really that blind?” Peaches was shaking. “Cassie is so in love with you. She thinks you will insist she return to you because of the baby, not because you love her back. That’s what she’s afraid of. She’s afraid that you can’t or don’t love her.”

  “So, how do I convince her she means the world to me?” Deke asked.

  “All you do is tell her, make her believe you love her.” Peaches grabbed his hands. “She’s dying inside, can’t you see that? If it weren’t for the baby, she would be gone I think. When she left the compound, something inside her began to die. She’s barely hanging on.”

  “How do you know all that?”

  Peaches smiled sadly. “We talk every day. The past few weeks, she’s been really chatty.”

  “I’m barely hanging on too,” Deke admitted. “Some days, it’s hard for me the even breathe.”

  “I ought to have Iceman beat the shit out of you, you stupid, stupid man,” Peaches grumbled. “Go to her, tell her what you just told me and make her believe it, or you’ll lose them both. You’ll lose her and the baby.”

  Deke turned back to the hall and walked blindly toward her room. When he looked inside, he found her sleeping.

  Deacon was sitting on the chair pulled up to the bed and he was holding her hand. As Deke came into the room, Deacon put his hand up to stop him. “I think she’s had enough for one day.”

  “I won’t disturb her,” Deke said quietly. “I just want to be here when she wakes up.”

  Deacon glared at him for a long time, then got up and laying her hand carefully on the bed, he walked out past Deke, without saying a word.

  Deke sat down in the chair and carefully took Cassie’s hand in his. Brushing the back of her hand with his thumb, he just sat there for the longest time. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. “God woman,” he whispered. “I’ve never been good with words but I’ll try. Everyone has been telling me that you need to hear the words, so I’m gonna try. I do love you so much. Some days I feel like my chest is gonna crack. I miss your smile when I open my eyes in the morning. I miss your laughter and the funny little way you look when you think no one is watching.” Exhaling he continued, “You belong to me because I can’t live without you in my life. You gave me yourself, your body, your heart and soul and I can’t give them back. I need you so much. You fill me up. I can’t live without you anymore. I don’t even want to try. To me, you aren’t damaged and never will be. You are stronger than anyone I’ve ever met.”

  “Are you sure about that?” Cassie whispered back. “You once told me you didn’t do the love thing.”

  Deke raised his eyes to hers. “I’ve been known to be a dumb shit at times, but I’m more sure than I’ve ever been about anything before. I don’t deserve someone like you but I’ll be as some one said a lucky sonofabitch to have you in my life. With you, I can finally breathe again, with you, I have purpose. When you walked out of my life, you took something that I want back. Something I needed to survive was gone. You took my soul along with you.”

  “This isn’t just because of the baby is it?” Cassie had to ask.

  Deke shook his head. “No, baby it isn’t. Although, the idea of having a kid makes it that much better. I never wanted a kid before but I do now, with you.”

  “What happened to the guy that shot me?”

  “Iceman took him out.”

  “And Mrs. Pierce?”

  “Eleonore Pierce was really Janelle Walden. Leon took care of her and your dad. Neither one of them will ever bother you again,” Deke assured her. “Did Peaches tell you her and Iceman are a couple?”

  Cassie smiled. “Yeah she did, and I don’t think her Daddy and Grandpa are too happy about it.”

  “Cassie…” Deke leaned forward to press his lips on her forehead. “…Will you come home with me?”

  “I’d like that very much as long as you understand that Redemption House needs me too. That’s my dream and I want to see it through.”

  “I’ve been talking to the guys I sent down there. I think what you want to do there is great,” Deke admitted. “In fact, if you’ll let me I’d like to help you.”

  “Can your club do that?” she asked.

  “Why not?” Deke shrugged. “We’re not running guns or dope and we don’t break the law. We’re just a bunch of guys that like to ride. Sure, we have the dance club and a couple of bars but they’re legit. Maybe this will show the city of Troy that they don’t have to fear us. Respect us yes, but they shouldn’t have to run and hide from us. We live here too. We protect what’s ours.” He chuckled. “I have to tell y
ou something. Each and every one of the guys in my club has the utmost respect for you. Not only that but they love you as well. You have earned the name of Spitfire, because you earned their respect and that ain’t easy to do And believe me when I say this, if I ever get out of line around you, each and every one of them will be more than happy to kick my ass.”

  Cassie giggled. Reaching out, she cupped his checks and brought him close to her. When she pressed her lips to his, heat suddenly enveloped them both. Deke pushed his tongue into her mouth and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. When they broke apart Deke whispered, “Will you marry me?”

  Cassie’s eyes grew huge. “You really want to marry me?”

  “I really love you. I don’t want to lose you, not again.”

  “Yes, I’ll marry you,” Cassie whispered. “I don’t have much but what I have I give to you.”

  “I only want you, nothing else, only you,” Deke whispered before he took her mouth again.

  ~* * * *~

  Deacon was standing in the waiting room staring at Marnie when Lance Sullivan walked in. Gator, Wiley and a couple of the guys that had been there when Lance came to the clubhouse before came to stand in front of him.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Gator grumbled.

  “I’m here to see Cassie,” Lance replied firmly. “I stopped at the clubhouse and was told she’d been shot this afternoon. Is she going to be all right?”

  “She’s as good as can be expected, why?” Gator asked.

  “I have some more questions for her that’s why.”

  “She told you everything she could,” Gator insisted his arms across his chest.

  “Oh, not everything,” Lance retorted. “Were any of you aware of the bodies she reburied in the woods?”

  “She told you about that,” Gator ground out. “She told you she reburied the four kids the old lady murdered.”

  Lance nodded. “The only problem we have with that is the fact that we found six bodies where she said we would only find four. And we found evidence the other two died within the last five years.”

  “Maybe Janelle found out where she reburied the bodies and added two more.” Iceman reasoned. “What’s that got to do with Cassie?”