Then & Now

by Karen A. Leppert

  “I was thinking about us.”

  “And…”

  “I’m happy.”

  “Me too.” She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Let’s talk about September 30.”

  Since they had set a date for their first time, Sarah often wanted to talk about it. Seth didn’t mind but talking only fueled his desires, especially when she shared her wish that their first time be in a cabin by the lake with a roaring fireplace. Oh, and she wanted to take a bath after…with bubbles. Her fantasy now occupied his dreams.

  He sighed. “Okay, but would you mind if we centered on the when and where and not so much the how?”

  “If you insist. One month down, six more to go. How do you feel about that? Any second thoughts about waiting?”

  He chuckled. “Every second we’re together.”

  The waiter brought their food, and the conversation changed to school, friends…the typical high school stuff.

  Sarah laid her head on his shoulder during the walk to the truck. “Seth, that was delicious. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He checked his watch, and his nerves took a jolt. What if Sarah thinks the bike is stupid or she doesn’t like the ring I picked out?

  When they pulled into the driveway, he glanced at the porch and spotted the shimmer of streamers that adorned the bike’s handlebars. The glint from the ribbons caught Sarah’s attention.

  “Happy Birthday, Sarah!” He pulled her toward the bike.

  Her family joined them on the porch. His heart dropped, his desire for privacy dashed.

  “Seth!” Sarah ran her hand along the new chrome. “It looks brand-new.”

  “She did clean up well.”

  “You know this was Aunt CeCe’s bike.”

  Mr. Matthews nodded. “My sister rode that bike everywhere. Sarah reminds me of CeCe. Seth, you did a good job.”

  Seth blushed from the attention. “Thanks.”

  Sarah gleamed. “I wish it was warmer so I could ride it to school tomorrow. Did you replace the bell? It never worked.”

  “I did. Go ahead and ring it.”

  SARAH

  Sarah went around to the side of the bike to ring the new bell. A gold ribbon with a small gift bag hung from it.

  “There’s a little something else for you,” Seth said.

  She reached inside the bag and found a small box at the bottom. Could it be? Oh, I hope so. She pulled it out and sprung the box open. It is.

  “It’s a moonstone,” Seth said in a whisper. “It reminded me of your eyes. I hope you like it.”

  She blinked hard, trying to fight back the tears. “I love it. Will you put it on my finger?”

  He leaned over the bike and slid the ring on her finger. “Perfect.”

  Sarah brushed her hand along Seth’s cheek. “Thank you, Seth. I love you.”

  Seth blushed. “I love you too.”

  Kathy pressed forward. “Can we see it?” Sarah pushed her hand proudly in their direction. “It’s beautiful,” Kathy said.

  Seth grinned. “I have to give your mother credit for the fit.” He looked at her mom. “Thank you.”

  “You knew about this?” Sarah asked.

  “Yes, Seth asked for our approval,” Dad said.

  Sarah sighed with relief.

  “Who wants cake and ice cream?” Mom asked.

  “Why don’t we go inside and get everything ready,” Dad said. “Seth and Sarah can join us in a couple of minutes.” Mom shot him a disapproving look.

  Once they were alone, Sarah moved from her bike and wrapped her arms around Seth’s waist. “You have no idea how happy you’ve made me tonight.” She caressed his neck.

  Seth stiffened. “Sarah, your parents are right inside. I don’t want to make them angry. I think I’m finally winning them over.”

  “You worry too much. My parents like you. They let you give me this beautiful ring.”

  Seth shook his head. “Not right away.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I asked your parents if I could give you a ring at Christmas. They said no; they thought it was too soon.”

  “That must have been difficult…asking my parents, I mean.”

  “I certainly wouldn’t want to do it again, but I will, hopefully.” He raised his eyebrows.

  She smiled. “You will?”

  “Yes, when I ask you to marry me.” He blushed and smiled.

  “I can’t wait for that day to come.”

  “Well, it’ll be a long time before we can even think about that, but I wanted you to know my intentions.”

  The screen door creaked open. Molly walked over to Seth and pulled him toward the door. “Cake and ice cream time.”

  Seth looked back at Sarah and sighed.

  She followed them to the dining room, where everyone sang “Happy Birthday,” though Sarah didn’t hear it or taste the cake or ice cream. She was in a glorious daze. She’d never been happier, never felt so content with her life, and couldn’t imagine it could get any better.

  SUMMER PARTY

  SETH

  April and May passed much too quickly in some respects and too slowly in others. Seth and Sarah spent as much time as possible together with the usual obstacle: her parents.

  Gossip from nosy townspeople had caused her parents to question whether he and Sarah should date exclusively. Any assurances from Sarah that they behaved themselves fell on deaf ears and threatened their summer plans.

  Not today. He pulled his truck down to the edge of the lake and saw Sarah, who had started celebrating the beginning of summer with their friends while he slaved away at the garage.

  “Hey, it’s about time you got here!” Johnny yelled as he approached. “Sarah’s been looking for you for the past half hour.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Seth said. “I hope you’ve been looking out for my girl.”

  Johnny put his arm around Sarah’s shoulders. “I haven’t let her out of my sight.”

  “Now, now.” Seth looked Johnny square in the eyes. “Remember, she’s my girl.”

  Johnny released his hold on her. “How could I forget? Sarah won’t let me.”

  Seth didn’t waste a minute taking Johnny’s place. “How are you?” He grinned sheepishly and planted a kiss on her forehead.

  “Great, now,” she whispered. “We’ve got pizza. Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.”

  They joined Kyle, Katie, Miranda, and Diane. Sarah watched him devour three slices of pizza and two beers. With full stomachs, they played volleyball until dusk fell and it became difficult to see the ball.

  Seth grabbed Sarah around the waist. “How about a swim?”

  She nodded, and they headed for the docks, hand in hand.

  Fireflies lit the way, and water lapped against the pylons, seeming to beckon them to jump in.

  Seth broke away from her. “Last one in’s a monkey’s uncle.” He ran to the edge and jumped into the water. He surfaced and looked toward the dock. Sarah pulled her shorts down and stood in a bright pink polka-dotted bikini. Seth had never seen her in so little clothing. His body responded and warnings sounded in his head. “Sarah, wait!”

  “Too late!” she yelled and dove off the dock. “Where are you?” she asked when she surfaced.

  “I’m over here.”

  “What in the devil’s wrong?” she asked when she found him.

  He closed his eyes and shook his head. It was just too much. The moon, stars, sparkling water, Sarah’s cleavage, her shoulders speckled with droplets of water.

  “Sarah, we have to go back. That bathing suit…”

  Sarah let out a mischievous laugh and came closer.

  “I’m serious. I can’t be trusted with you practically naked.” He peered toward shore. “And we’re alone.”

  “If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not working.” She lunged at him and caught the waist of his swim trunks.

  “Sarah, please, let’s go back to shore.”

  “You can go. I want to swim.” S
he swam around him toward a floating platform.

  “Sarah, where are you?”

  “Over here.”

  The excitement in her voice gave his mind pause, but his body ignored the warning and he swam to her.

  She smiled, victorious. “I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me. Now come here.” Her eyes beckoned and her arms reached for him. Water splashed against her body, inviting him…teasing him…tempting him. “Now, this isn’t so bad,” she whispered.

  “That’s the problem.” He shivered. “It feels too good.”

  To make matters worse—to push him to new, uncontrollable heights—Sarah wrapped her legs around his waist and caressed his neck.

  “You’re shivering. Are you cold?” she asked breathlessly.

  “No, just trying to do the right thing…and losing.”

  Sarah sighed and took his face in her hands. “Maybe you’re right. Let’s head back. The others will be wondering where we are anyway. No need to rouse gossip, right?”

  “Yeah, we don’t need your parents hearing about this.”

  Sarah remained quiet the rest of the evening, and Seth empathized with her. Disappointment and frustration had become an ever-present part of their relationship. On days like this, it took its toll.

  Seth debated giving Johnny a ride home—an insurance policy against any further temptations—but a selfish desire to spend time alone with Sarah won out. Once inside the truck, they sat, holding hands, silent, lost in their own thoughts.

  “It’s getting late.” He pointed to the clock on the dashboard.

  “Yes, it is.” Sarah leaned on his shoulder and looked up at him, her eyes beckoning. Seth kissed her nose, and she sighed. “I thought you were angry with me.”

  “No, just frustrated,” he confessed and kissed her again.

  This isn’t fair, punishing each other. Enough already. Seth grabbed Sarah’s face and kissed her forcefully. She swiped her tongue along his lower lip, and her fingers danced down his chest to his swim trunks. He lost control, kissing her mouth, her ears, and her neck. He unbuttoned her blouse and kissed along the top of her bikini. Sarah’s hands moved to his back and just under the top of his swim trunks. He felt her hips against his, meeting him with each thrust until he felt the need for release. He panicked.

  SARAH

  Just enjoy the moment. See where it leads. Seth will stop if it goes too far.

  But he didn’t stop.

  Instead, he fondled her inner thigh, and a rush of blood flowed through her body to her groin. The sensation was like none other she’d experienced, scary and exciting at the same time. The loud moan couldn’t have come from her, but it had. She followed with another, and Seth responded by rubbing her more.

  “Sarah, I love you.”

  “I want you.”

  “I want you too.”

  Her hands fumbled with the button on the glove compartment. “Do you have any condoms?”

  Seth froze. “I…don’t. Fuck!” He flung the truck door open and, half crawling, half falling, rolled out of the truck and onto the ground. He sprang up, slammed the door shut, and paced back and forth. She opened the truck door, but Seth threw his hands up. “Sarah, please, I need a minute.”

  She shut the door and sat quietly, watching him pace and listening to him cussing and muttering. After several minutes, he came over to her side of the car and opened the door.

  “Bring the blanket,” he whispered and walked toward the lake.

  Sarah found him at the water’s edge. She wrapped her arms, with the blanket, around him. Minutes passed. He laughed out loud.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “I took the condoms out of the truck as protection.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “I knew if they were in the truck, the temptation would be too great. I thought that by getting rid of them, I would protect us from going too far. Well, I guess it worked. How ironic is that?” He laughed again, a sad laugh. “Do you think if I had those condoms tonight…we would have done it?”

  “I don’t know.” She paused. “You followed your heart. How can that be wrong?”

  “It certainly doesn’t feel right. Why have we made this such an issue? Sometimes I think it’s stupid to wait. What does it matter?”

  “I guess the longer we wait, the truer our commitment is to one another,” she said.

  “That’s bullshit.”

  “Then you tell me.”

  “I’m worried about taking your virginity.”

  So that’s it. “You wouldn’t be taking it.”

  “Let me explain it this way. If we go somewhere, intentionally, to make love…then we’ve decided with our heads and not just our…well, hormones. It would be different. I’d feel your decision was thought out, not impulsive. Does that make sense?”

  “Yes, but why a year?”

  He shrugged. “I suppose the longer we wait, the more it makes sense to be together. Why don’t we go to my house and lie in the hammock in the backyard? We can’t let things go too far with my family just steps away.”

  “That sounds like a good idea.”

  It felt nice, cuddling in the hammock under the stars. The events of the day had caught up to them. Between school, swimming, volleyball, and their “near miss,” they were exhausted. Sarah listened to Seth’s steady breathing and counted his heartbeats…slow and steady. Her eyes grew heavy.

  “I love you,” Seth whispered, and she drifted off to a sleepy abyss.

  WAKE-UP CALL

  SETH

  Whispers and the warmth of the sun brought Seth out of a blissful slumber. He smelled Sarah’s hair and felt her body molded to him so perfectly.

  If this is a dream, I don’t want it to end.

  “Seth, wake up!”

  Seth rubbed his eyes and pried them open. Two shadows loomed overhead. “Dad?” Panic seeped into his consciousness. “What’s wrong? Where are we?”

  “Our backyard. You and Sarah fell asleep out here last night. It’s Saturday morning, son. Sarah’s parents are on their way.”

  “Fuck!” He tried to jump up, but Sarah lay in his arms, oblivious to their impending doom.

  “Seth, please control your mouth,” Mom scolded in a whisper and glanced across the yard. “The neighbors might hear you.”

  Their neighbor, Mrs. Connelly, stood on her back porch, catching the morning’s action. Great, just great!

  “Sarah, Sarah!”

  Sarah yawned and pressed her body against his in a tighter embrace. She smiled and let out a happy sigh.

  “Sarah, wake up!”

  “Wake up?”

  Her eyes flew open and darted from Seth to his parents. “No…”

  The sound of two car doors opening and closing came from the driveway, and Seth prepared for the worst. He had to get up out of that hammock and fast. Wiggling from Sarah’s embrace, he floundered against the flimsiness of the hammock to no avail.

  Mr. and Mrs. Matthews headed right toward them. Seth forced himself to look in their direction, but Sarah buried her head in his chest.

  “Sarah, get out of the hammock now,” Mrs. Matthews whispered through clenched teeth.

  “Mom, it’s not what it looks like. Seth and I fell asleep.”

  “We’ll discuss this when we get home,” her father said. “Seth, get your hands off our daughter so she can get up.”

  “Yes, Mr. Matthews.”

  Mr. Matthews pulled Sarah out of the hammock. She faltered a little, and Seth instinctively tried to catch her.

  “Keep your hands off her. Haven’t you caused enough trouble?”

  “Now, let’s not overreact,” Mom retorted. “We have no reason to think Seth and Sarah aren’t telling the truth.”

  “Oh, really? Look at them,” Mrs. Matthews said.

  Seth looked at Sarah and himself. He wore only his bathing suit; Sarah was in her shorts and her bikini top. Even he had to admit the circumstances looked incriminating.

  “I understand you’re upset
. We are too,” Dad said calmly.

  “All we want is to take Sarah home. You can deal with your son. We’ll deal with our daughter.” Mr. Matthews motioned to their nosy neighbor. “We don’t want to give the neighbors more to gossip about.”

  “Sarah…” Seth began.

  “Sarah, put your shirt on, and please hurry.” Mrs. Matthews looked close to tears. Angry tears? Sorrowful tears? Seth didn’t know. Maybe both.

  “Yes, Mom.”

  Sarah put on her shirt and buttoned it, and then she found her flip-flops under the hammock and slipped them on her feet. With teary eyes, she whispered, “I’m sorry, Seth,” and then walked with her parents to their car.

  Seth turned to Mom and Dad to explain, but their eyes silenced him.

  “Grab your clothes and the blanket and let’s get inside,” Dad urged.

  Mom walked with her arm around Seth to the house. Whether this was for Mrs. Connelly’s sake or his, Seth didn’t know, but he did need someone to lean on.

  Once inside the house, his parents motioned to the kitchen table, and Seth took a seat.

  “What time do you have to be at work?” Dad asked.

  “Eight o’clock. What time is it now?”

  Mom looked at her watch. “Six thirty. Let’s talk about what happened.”

  “Sarah and I fell asleep, that’s all. I swear.”

  His parents looked at one another.

  “How did you end up in the backyard?” Dad asked.

  “Sarah and I left the lake early, and I suggested we come here. We just wanted to be alone a little longer, that’s all. I guess we fell asleep. We had a busy day, with swimming and playing volleyball.”

  “Then you should have taken Sarah home.”

  “I know that now, Dad. It’s important you believe me. Look, we haven’t slept together, and if we get in trouble because it looks that way, I’m going to lose it. We might as well have done it then. At least it would be worth the trouble we’re in—”

  Dad interrupted. “You need to change your attitude and be prepared to accept the consequences of your actions, no matter how innocent they are.”

  While Seth agreed with Dad, he didn’t want to hear it. He needed to vent before seeing Mr. and Mrs. Matthews again. That is, if he saw them again—if they allowed him to see Sarah again.