Kyle held Johnny. “What the fuck’s going on? You two get back in the truck, and let’s get out of here. Haven’t we had enough bad shit happen for one night?”
Johnny nodded and helped Seth to his feet. They piled back into the truck and endured a silent ride home, pulling over twice for Seth to vomit. Johnny dropped Kyle and Matt off before heading to Seth’s house.
“I’m sorry, man,” Johnny whispered. “You threw everything away tonight. For what? A five-minute fuck. I hope it was worth it.”
Seth began to cry. “Don’t you think I would take it back if I could? It’s too late. It’s done. I just hope Sarah can forgive me.”
“I hope so too.” He pulled into the driveway. “You look like hell. Do you want me to go in with you?”
“No, thanks though.”
They got out of the truck and faced each other.
“I’m sorry, Johnny. I didn’t think my life could get any worse. I was so fucking wrong.”
Seth cried himself to sleep and was plagued with nightmares of Sarah and the woman at the stables. The woman laughed, and Sarah cried. Seth fell to his knees and begged.
FALL-OUT
SARAH
The tangled web of underbrush and vines scratched and clawed at her legs, pulling her to the ground until she gave up and lay sobbing at the horror of what she’d seen.
Somehow her mind took control of her body, and she pushed herself up and forward until she found her way out of the woods and to Will’s car. She drove to her parents’ store and found the key Dad kept hidden between two bricks at the rear of the building.
Once inside, she fell to her knees and curled up in a tight ball. “Why, Seth? How could you do this to me…to us?” She lay there for hours, mumbling to herself and humming until she drifted to sleep.
“Sarah, Sarah.” Dad tried to free Sarah from her own grip. “You’re bleeding. What happened to you?”
She flung herself into his arms. “Daddy, please help me.”
“Sarah, did someone hurt you at camp?”
“Daddy, it’s Seth. You were right. Seth isn’t who I thought he was.”
“Sarah, honey, I’m so sorry.” Dad stroked her hair and held her until she calmed down.
In that time, Sarah came to understand she had to leave. She couldn’t face Seth; she couldn’t stand the thought of seeing him…at school…in town…anywhere.
“Daddy, can I spend the rest of the summer at Aunt CeCe’s? I’ll repay you for the soccer camp. I promise. I can’t face Seth or my friends right now.”
“Let’s get you cleaned up while we talk. Your mother will be here within the hour, and I don’t want her to see you like this.”
“Daddy, I don’t want Mom to see me at all. Please don’t tell her about this.”
“Sarah, your mother has a right to know.”
“Daddy, please. Mom will just make this worse. I don’t think I could take hearing ‘I told you so’ right now. I’m on the edge as it is. I beg of you. Can’t we keep this between us?”
“Sarah, I don’t think…”
“Mom will have no problem with me going to Aunt CeCe’s. It’ll keep me away from Seth. Isn’t that what she wants? Does she have to know I disobeyed both of you? I don’t want her to be more disappointed or mad at me right now. Please, let me go back to camp, and you can act like my going to Aunt CeCe’s was your idea.”
“I suppose we can spare your mother having to see you like this.”
“So, you’ll go along with my plan?”
“I will, but I don’t like lying to your mother.”
“Thank you, Daddy.”
With a sense of relief, Sarah cleaned up as best she could, all the while deciding what she would tell Seth about her spending the rest of the summer with Aunt CeCe. She didn’t want to tell him about last night. No! She wanted to be the one to end their relationship. Her damaged pride wanted revenge and would give it in a cryptic letter to Seth breaking up with him. She would give it to Dad when he picked her up from camp, and Dad would tell Katie Sarah had come down with the flu on the way home and couldn’t attend soccer camp.
After a fitful goodbye with her father, Sarah drove back to camp. A mile from the entrance, she pulled the car over and released her emotions, crying and shouting, banging her fists against the dashboard and shaking the steering wheel. There would be no time to shed another tear for the rest of the week. Sarah didn’t want to risk foiling her plan by giving Katie any reason to suspect anything was wrong.
To avoid suspicion, she asked Katie if she had seen Seth over the weekend. Yes, Katie had seen Seth, but she failed to elaborate, ranting over her breakup with Kyle instead.
The last week of camp dragged. Sarah suffered sleepless nights and zombie-like days. A message from Dad confirmed the plan was still a go. He picked her up on Saturday; Sarah parted ways with Katie, who expected to see Sarah at soccer camp that Monday. In reality, Sarah traveled two hours from camp, four hours from home, to Aunt’s CeCe’s house.
Aunt CeCe waited for them at the front door. Sarah had spent summers there while in middle school and had fond memories of her aunt and godmother. Her easygoing attitude and lively spirit were infectious. Unlike Mom, Aunt CeCe didn’t give a hoot what other people thought and lived by her own rules.
Mom said little when they talked on the phone. Sarah detected her mother was delighted Sarah “had come to her senses.”
“I love you, Sarah, and am praying for you every day. Use this time to heal. You’ll meet someone who’s better suited for you.”
Aunt CeCe bolted from the front door to the car and grabbed Sarah in a bear hug. “We’re going to have so much fun, just like the old days.”
Besides a hint of gray in her hair, Aunt CeCe hadn’t changed much. She was a petite woman, athletic in stature, and pretty in a classic way. She wore her chestnut-brown hair in a short bob, and her eyes were a deep hazel.
Smiling through her tears, Sarah said, “Thanks for letting me stay with you.”
“You know you’re always welcome. It’ll be nice to have the company.”
“I’m not sure how good of company I’ll be.”
“Don’t you worry about that.” Aunt CeCe looked at Dad. “Hello, George. How was the ride?”
Dad sighed. “Long. Thanks for this, CeCe. Let’s get Sarah settled in.”
They each grabbed a bag and headed into Aunt CeCe’s mission-style home. A roomy foyer and grand staircase greeted them just inside the front door with the living room on one side and the dining room on the other.
Sarah liked the kitchen best. It had an old chrome and white Formica table with matching chairs and an alcove that housed a china cabinet filled with Aunt CeCe’s collection of teacups. A small sitting room off the kitchen overlooked a modest backyard filled with beautiful gardens. Sarah remembered spending summer nights out there under the stars, fond memories that would hopefully help her through this tough time.
Aunt CeCe motioned to the stairs. “You’ll have the same room, Sarah.”
The bedroom had an antique mahogany bed with a headboard carved with intricate flowers. There were two matching pieces: a dresser and a bureau with a mirror. A white crocheted bedspread adorned the ornate bed, and white eyelet curtains hung from the windows. Fresh flowers from the garden sat on the nightstand. It already felt like home.
“You can unpack later,” Aunt CeCe said. “Right now, let’s eat dinner.”
Dad patted his stomach. “Sounds good. I’m starving.”
Aunt CeCe had prepared beef stew, which looked delicious, but Sarah had no appetite.
After dinner, they spent a quiet evening watching television and headed to bed early. This had become Sarah’s least favorite time of day. In the stillness of the night, her thoughts of Seth became unbearable. Although she tried, she couldn’t stop wondering what he was doing and with whom. She focused on the night at the stables, finding it easier to deal with that pain than the pain of a broken heart.
Still, Seth came to
her in dreams, smiling that crooked smile, kissing her while whispering his affections, his lips hovering over hers, his breath heavy with desire.
Saying goodbye to Dad brought more tears and grief. Not knowing when she’d see him again made her head ache and the heaviness in her chest deepen.
Too much letting go.
“I love you, little girl. Be safe, heal, and come back to us when you’re ready. I’ll miss you.”
“I love you, Daddy. Thanks for being so good to me. I know I’ve asked a lot of you.”
Her father left her just as Seth had only six weeks earlier. And just as she had with Seth, Sarah stood in the middle of the street, blowing kisses and waving goodbye until he turned the corner and was out of sight. The two men she most loved in her life were gone. One because he didn’t love her enough, the other because he loved her more than life itself and was willing to let her go so she could find happiness again.
SETH
Seth pulled alongside Katie’s car and honked the horn. She looked in his direction. He signaled for her to pull over and met her before she got out of the car.
“Hey, Seth. What’s up?”
“Nothing much. How was soccer camp? Aren’t you back a little early?”
“Camp ended Thursday. How’s Sarah?”
“I was hoping you could tell me.”
Katie gave him a puzzled look. “How would I know?”
“Well, Sarah was with you for the past six weeks, not me.”
Katie interrupted him. “No. Well, yes. Sarah was with me at the kids’ camp, but she never showed up at soccer camp.”
“What do you mean?”
“I heard her father called the camp administrator and said Sarah wouldn’t be coming…that she was sick.”
His jaw dropped. Sarah’s been home all week. “Sick, huh.”
“I guess her parents have forbidden Sarah from calling you.”
“Looks that way. Thanks, Katie. I’ll let you be on your way.”
She grabbed his arm. “Seth, how’s Kyle?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“We really screwed things up.”
We? Katie and Sarah, or Katie and Kyle?
“We all make mistakes. You should come by the garage and talk to Kyle. I’m sure you can work things out.”
With a grateful smile, Katie said, “Thanks,” and was on her way.
Everything seemed out of kilter. His intuition told him something had gone wrong and not just Sarah and their quarantine from each other. He had a sick feeling of foreboding, like when something scary is about to happen in a horror movie. The music builds,
warning the moviegoer of impending doom. Music played in his head. At first, he surmised it might be about confessing to Sarah, but it was more than that. He had an empty feeling. As if someone had died.
Seth had come to terms with his indiscretion and prepared for the worst. He supposed Sarah would break up with him before he even got the chance to confess his betrayal. She had met someone at camp, and the picture hinted she liked him. Even so he hoped, like himself, she regretted cheating on him, and they could forgive each other and start over.
Dad greeted him before he set foot in the house. Seth could tell by the look on his father’s face there was news.
“Seth,” Dad began.
“It’s Sarah, isn’t it?”
“Sit down.”
“Dad, hurry up and tell me before I get sick.”
“Sarah isn’t coming back until school starts.”
A jolt of shock rippled through his body.
Dad sat beside him and placed his hand on Seth’s shoulder. “Son, are you okay?”
“No.” He wanted to pass out, to close his eyes and wake up when this nightmare ended.
Mom hovered at his side. “Seth, honey, you’ll get through this. We’re here for you.”
His mind shut down. A survivor’s reflex. His parents sat watching him, for what he didn’t know. The worried looks on their faces forced him to speak.
“I’m okay,” he assured them in a detached tone that reflected his feelings. “I saw this coming. Maybe not this exactly. I never thought Sarah would stay away all summer. That seems drastic.”
Sarah had left without a word, without saying goodbye. Was this her parents’ way of keeping them apart longer, or had Sarah chosen to stay away?
Seth welcomed his double shift at work that Saturday. Kyle came in with high spirits; he had talked to Katie the night before, and they were trying to work things out. Seth didn’t share the news of Sarah with anyone. He couldn’t trust his emotions, and they would find out soon enough. He kept busy all day and came home around ten o’clock, exhausted and hoping for a dreamless sleep.
His hopes were dashed when he came through the door and found his parents waiting for him once again.
What now?
Dad held an envelope in his hand. “This is from Sarah. Her father asked that we give it to you.”
Seth grabbed the envelope and raced out the door. “I’m going for a ride!”
Mom called after him, “Be careful.”
He pulled up to the lake’s edge and tore at the envelope, his hands so shaky he almost ripped it in two.
Seth,
I’m sorry. Things have changed for me. My parents were right. We were moving way too fast. Our time apart has opened my eyes, and I now know we aren’t ready for a serious commitment. I truly believe you feel the same way.
I will always cherish our time together, and you will always have a special place in my heart.
Be Happy!
Sarah
“‘Be happy! Be happy!’ What the fuck!” He read the letter again. “‘I truly believe you feel the same way’? Bullshit, Sarah. This doesn’t make sense.” The last sentence really pissed him off. It sounded like a greeting card. “Fuck you, Sarah, fuck you! You owe me more than this. ‘I’m sorry.’ No, Sarah, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ever met you.”
He brushed his tears away violently. This didn’t even sound like Sarah, so cryptic and unemotional. Seth wondered if she’d even written it. God, he wanted a drink to help ease the pain, but his parents didn’t deserve another anxious night.
Dad waited on the front porch.
“Dad, I’m okay. I just want to go to bed.”
“Okay. If you need us…well, you know.” He put his arm around Seth’s shoulders and they walked in the house.
Keith had already fallen asleep. Seth quietly undressed and slipped into bed. Tears flowed against his will. He gave in to them, vowing no one would see him cry. Pride would keep him from letting anyone know just how much he hurt. He would let anger and hate prevail over any sentiments he held for Sarah. Hating Sarah would be easier than missing her…yearning for her. He would never let himself love someone like that again. It wasn’t worth it.
RUMORS & REALITY
SETH
Just when Seth couldn’t fathom his life getting any worse, rumors spread that Sarah had gone to live with a relative, but Katie came into the shop one day with another explanation.
“Can you believe it?” Katie whispered. “Is it Seth’s?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think he knows,” Kyle whispered back.
Seth couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer and came out of the shop to the store to confront them.
“Look, I know you’re talking about Sarah, so you might as well tell me.”
“Katie heard something today. It might not be true,” Kyle said.
Katie shook her head. “It just seems so ridiculous.”
“It can’t be any worse than what I’ve already imagined.”
“Sarah’s, well, some people think she’s pregnant,” Kyle mumbled the last word.
Seth’s stomach lurched. “Wow, I never imagined that.”
“It does make sense,” Katie said. “Remember, Sarah missed soccer camp because she was sick.”
Kyle nodded. “Yeah, morning sickness.”
Sarah’s pregnant? No way. But then again, why
not? That would be a good reason to move away. Maybe she’s gone to a home for unwed mothers.
Kyle broke through his thoughts. “Seth, if Sarah’s pregnant…well, could it be yours?”
“No.”
“Well, that’s good.”
No, it’s not good at all. I wish it was mine.
That would have meant two things. One, he and Sarah would’ve been together and, two, she wouldn’t have been with anyone else. It appeared they had betrayed each other after all.
“I wonder whose it could be?” Kyle looked at Katie. “Do you think it was that guy at camp?”
“Who, Will?” Katie asked. “They were together all the time, but I thought they were just friends.”
Will! So that’s his name. At least Sarah knew his name and maybe had feelings for the boy. Seth had gone with a total stranger and paid for sex. Maybe Sarah loved this Will. The idea drove him crazy, yet he managed a detached bravado.
“Look, let’s not add to the rumor mill. It’s not fair to Sarah. She’s not here to confirm or deny them.”
Katie shook her head. “I don’t know. Sarah’s gone and hasn’t contacted anyone. Her parents haven’t said anything to my parents either.”
“Why would they? Sarah’s mother would never let anyone know Sarah had done something so shameful.”
“You’re right. Poor Sarah. I wonder if she’ll have the baby and come home.”
“Maybe she’ll have an abortion or put it up for adoption,” Kyle added.
Katie countered, “Well, if Sarah comes home without a baby, everybody will think she had an abortion. Boy, the thought of having to face everyone and hear the whispering behind my back. I’d never come back.”
Seth couldn’t take it anymore. “I better get back to work. Do me a favor, will you? Sarah’s your friend, Katie, and even though we aren’t together, I don’t want to be a part of this smear campaign. I hope you two feel the same way.”
“Yeah, sure, Seth,” Kyle said and Katie agreed, though Seth knew better. This news was too scandalous to resist gossiping.
Seth went back to work in a daze, but Joe must have sensed his lack of concentration and let him off early.
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