I slow-blink, sliding her juice across the table to her. “Why do you think that?”
“Mom and Gran. I heard them talking.”
I rub my jaw. I can sugarcoat the truth for Marissa like Kendra does, like I used to. Or I can be honest and teach her a valuable lesson she’s never had to learn—money doesn’t appear from thin air. It has to be earned. “Marissa, I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m not broke.” Not yet anyway. “I will always take care of you.”
“And Mom?” she asks, peeking up at me.
“And Mom,” I agree. “At least as long as it’s court mandated.”
“What?”
“Never mind. My point is this: Gran and Grandpa have money because Grandpa worked very hard to earn it. He was good at what he did and he went to work every morning until nighttime.” I have to pause to keep from gritting my teeth. It’s all true, but I have little respect for Kendra’s father, who reminds me of my old boss when I worked on Wall Street. Anything for a buck, no matter who it affected. “So,” I continue, “that hard work made him money, and that’s why Gran and Gramps are rich.”
“You work hard,” she says. “I know you do. I saw you go to work every day when you lived at home and it was always nighttime when you got back.”
I put my elbows on the table. “Yeah, but I didn’t like my job. For most people, that’s okay, but I want to love what I do. So I started over, which means it’ll take me longer to get back to making money.”
“I’m sorry,” she says.
I smile. “You’re not in trouble. I’m just trying to explain to you about money. You’ve always had it because of Gran and Grandpa, and I know your friends have it too. But not everyone does, babe. Some kids, most kids, would never even dream of owning a horse. When I was your age, I had to mow lawns in my neighborhood and give my parents the money I made to buy groceries.”
She widens her eyes. “You didn’t have food?”
“We did,” I say. “Because your Grandpa Frank had a steady job, and I pitched in.” Marissa doesn’t see Kendra working, and Marissa’s grandpa is recently retired. I pinch her nose with my bacon-greasy fingers to ease the wrinkles in her forehead. “Don’t worry. I promise, we’re all going to be fine. I just want you to go home and think really hard about whether or not you need that horse, and if you can’t live without it . . .”
She bounces in her seat. I guess she knew I’d give in one way or another.
“Ask Gran for one for Christmas.”
She giggles. “All right.”
Once Marissa’s fed, I put her in front of Netflix. “I’m going to make sure all your stuff’s packed,” I tell her.
“It is,” she says, eyes glued to Fuller House.
I head down the hall to my room and knock softly before opening the door. Halston is seated on the edge of the bed, her knees drawn up to her chin. Thankfully, she’s pulled my t-shirt over her legs, blocking anything of interest, or I’d be in trouble.
“You’re awake,” I say. “How do you feel?”
“A little hungover.” She glances behind me. “I was going to shower, but I didn’t want to make noise.”
“Kendra’ll be here any minute, so I’m going to get Marissa’s things and take her downstairs. Get some water from the fridge. You know where the shower is.”
She smiles with closed lips. “Is it still okay that I’m here? Or do you want me to go?”
I close the door behind me and walk over to her. When her text woke me last night, I’d panicked. I was sure she’d come in here, find Marissa, and run for the hills. Halston is only twenty-five. She doesn’t need to get involved with a man who has an eight-year-old kid. But, selfishly, I didn’t want to turn her away. Luckily, her drunkenness had given me an excuse to make her stay.
“The weekend’s just starting,” I say. “If you go now, I’ll be extremely upset.”
She bites her bottom lip. “Extremely?”
“I’ve slept next to you twice and kept my hands to myself.” Lifting her chin with my knuckle, I free her lip with my thumb to lean in and kiss her. “I don’t want to keep my hands to myself anymore. When I get back up here, be ready.”
She shivers, actually shivers, and grips the hem of the t-shirt in two fists. “I’ll be waiting.”
Her words go directly to my cock, her gaze even dropping for a split second. I leave the room to avoid a boner that’ll make my encounter with Kendra very awkward.
With her overnight bag in tow, I take Marissa out front. A shiny, black Audi S3 idles at the curb. Kendra gets out of the passenger’s side. I give Kendra’s boyfriend a cursory wave. He’s been a source of contention between us since Kendra introduced him to Marissa five weeks after their first date. Seemed to me Marissa shouldn’t’ve been meeting anyone I hadn’t met. But I have no problem with him as a person.
“How was the show?” I ask.
She takes Marissa’s bag. “Fine. I just can’t believe you forgot.”
“Oh, okay. We’re still on this.” I squat down to Marissa’s level. “Thanks for coming over, sweetie. I’ll see you in a couple weeks?”
She frowns. “Did you forget, Dad?”
“Of course not.” I glare daggers up at Kendra. “Mom’s just teasing. Go get in the car.” I kiss her on the forehead.
When she turns and walks away, I stand. “I’m not naïve enough to think you don’t make me the bad guy when I’m not around, but don’t ever do that to me while she’s standing here.”
“I show up at your door last night, and you look completely shocked. What father forgets one out of the four nights a month he gets with his daughter?”
“Five nights,” I correct.
“No. Last night counted as one of your days.”
“When you asked for this favor, you called it an extra night.”
“That was when I thought I was doing you a favor by giving you more time with your daughter. Apparently, I was just shitting on your weekend plans—”
“That’s bull.”
“So I changed my mind.”
“Come on, Kendra.” I rub my temples with one hand. I don’t need this headache right before I spend my first weekend with Halston. “You’re going to make me split up my weekend with her? You’re turning me into a deadbeat dad against my will.”
“Don’t start that shit again. I’m not the reason we got divorced. This victim act is getting old.”
“I’m just saying, you’re punishing me for wanting to spend time with my daughter. That’s not fair.”
“And you’re the authority on fair, Mr. Fucking Adultery?”
I take a step back. Kendra has too much control over this situation, and engaging her in an argument can only hurt me. “I’m not going to fight with you again. I’ll see you next time.”
I head back into the building. Kendra just wants to hurt me, but Marissa suffers too. If Kendra really thought I didn’t want time with Marissa, she’d probably have Marissa here every weekend. If I hadn’t worried how the judge might take it, I’d have considered asking for no time at all to get the reaction I wanted from Kendra.
I left that Connecticut life behind because I felt helpless going to a job I hated every day and returning to a wife I didn’t love. But I’m just as helpless now. I don’t have a steady income or much say in how my daughter’s raised. When I tried to tell Kendra it was too early to introduce Marissa to her boyfriend, she threw Sadie in my face. Marissa met Sadie once in the hallway between our apartments. Kendra was there; she knows it was an accident and that Marissa had no idea who Sadie was.
The sliver of light in all of this is Halston. It’s the first time I’ve had someone to revive me after one of Kendra’s soul-sucking sessions. Halston doesn’t treat me like a pawn or an ATM. The way she looked up at me from the bed moments ago, eyes wide, cheeks pink, lips parted, is what it means to be a man. Her man. She’s a girl I want to turn into a woman, and I want to start now. I’ve been aching for this since I opened her journal.
I burst
into the apartment and head straight for my bedroom. The shower is on. Perfect, since I plan on doing dirty things to her.
I stop at my nightstand for a condom, nearly breaking off the handle when I yank the drawer open. I peel off my t-shirt and step out of my sweats before entering the bathroom.
Halston turns quickly, covering her breasts. “Finn? What—”
I tear the condom packet open with my teeth. “I told you to be ready.”
She keeps her hands where they are. “I’ll only be another minute.”
“I can’t wait that long.” I strip off my underwear and start rolling on the condom.
“I’m not ready,” she says. “I thought you’d be longer.”
I open the door, and she backs into a corner.
“I have no makeup on, my hair’s all tangled—”
I step into the shower, shaking out my mop when water beats it down, and close in. “This is exactly how I want you,” I say when I’m standing over her. “Stripped down to nothing. Nowhere to hide.”
Her smooth, white throat ripples when she swallows. Her eyes are huge and gray. Any fog from the night I met her is gone. She’s open right now. For so long, I’ve just wanted to connect with someone. Not someone—the one. And now, she’s here—soaking wet, looking a bit petrified—but here. I forget about the last ten minutes downstairs. Those minutes, months, years of making mistakes? They were leading me to this, my girl. I can’t be mad about that. I can only be happy and grateful to finally have her. Not to mention horny as fuck to finally claim her. “I want you raw. Just you and me, Halston. Nothing else.”
She drops her hands, and I take her face in mine. I kiss her so hard, she squeaks. Her back is glued to the tile, but I can’t seem to slow down. I grope her breasts, squeeze her ass to bring her even closer. I shouldn’t fuck her right off the bat. I shouldn’t. I can’t wait, though. I’ll take my time later. I hook my hand under her left knee and lift her leg until her thigh is pressed against her breast. Reluctantly, I stop kissing her, but I don’t move a millimeter from her mouth. “Want me to slow down?”
“No.”
I line my dick up with her opening and thrust halfway in. She sucks in a breath. “How about now?” I ask.
She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. I need to be all the way in, rooted to the base of my cock. But I enlist all my patience and stay where I am while she adjusts to my size. I’m big, and I might’ve guessed she’d be this tight. “Look at me.”
She opens her eyes, and they’re full of fire. “Do it,” she says.
“Do what?” I urge. I want to hear her.
Her voice wavers adorably when she says it, even though I can tell she’s trying to sound confident. “Fuck me.”
I squeeze her leg, lifting it even higher so she inhales sharply. “I changed my mind,” I say, easing into her inch by inch. “I want you to feel as tortured as I am.”
“I do,” she rushes out. “I’ve wanted this as much as you. More.”
“I don’t believe you. When we met outside that gallery, you barely noticed me.”
“That’s not true,” she says. “I thought you were sexy. I didn’t think . . . someone like you’d be interested in me.”
“And now?” I ask, licking my lips. When I’ve sunk as deep as I can get, I thrust my hips once, ramming her against the wall. “Think I’m interested now?”
She can’t even respond, just breathes through her mouth. She’s hot and soft around my dick, but I wish like fuck I could lose the condom, the last barrier between us. I draw back and push in again, watching her expression like she holds the answer to every question I’ve ever wondered.
Her face screws up.
“Am I hurting you?” I ask.
“No.”
She drops her head back on the tile as I let her have it. Her moans echo through the bathroom, stealing the last of my control. I’ve wanted this too long. I’m going to come already, and she’s not there yet. I fuck her until I’m right at the edge, then pinch the base of the condom to keep it in place as I slide out of her.
She doesn’t move a muscle. I lower her leg and rest it on the ledge of the tub.
“Wha . . .” she mumbles. “What are you . . .”
I get to my knees while she tries to form a sentence. I lick her long and hard, and her body shudders. I take my two favorite fingers and slip them up inside her, fucking her with them until she pulls my hair hard enough to make me growl. I work her clit with my mouth, but to make her feel better than she ever has before, I have to make this a full-body experience. I turn her by her hips so she’s facing the tile. “Support yourself with the wall,” I say.
She leans her forearms onto the tile and juts her ass out. I grip her cheeks and lick her pussy front to back. So far back that the tip of my tongue teases her anus.
She wiggles, reaching back to try and push my face away. “Finn,” she gasps.
“Save the squirming for when my tongue’s actually inside you,” I suggest. I pin her wrists to her hips and spread her ass cheeks with my thumbs. I rim her asshole good and fast as she writhes. I don’t know if she’s fighting me, but I do know she’s enjoying my mouth in the one place it shouldn’t be, whether she admits it or not.
I massage her clit until her legs give out, and she drops to her knees. I wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her back to my front, and finger-fuck her from behind until she comes, crying out to the ceiling.
I stand, pick her up by her waist, and put her over my shoulder. She might be spent, nothing more than a bag of bones, but I’m still painfully hard and swollen. I shut off the water, step carefully out of the tub, and carry her into my room. After tossing her onto her back, I grab the comforter in my fists and yank her to the edge of the bed.
“You can’t do that,” she wheezes, her chest rising and falling.
I half smile. “Already did, Hals. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone you enjoyed it.” I part her knees and run my hands up her inner thighs. “I won’t tell anyone you’re just as kinky as me. That your pussy’s better than heaven. That you kissed me after I ate your ass.”
“I didn’t—”
I bend over her, and she whips her head side to side, her lips sealed. I can’t help it. I start to laugh. I don’t care about kissing her with my dirty mouth, but I don’t want to traumatize her. I right myself, grabbing a pillow to elevate her hips, putting her in a position I think will be comfortable enough for me to take her good and hard.
She watches me and breathes. Just breathes. She might’ve short-circuited with that orgasm, and I plan to give her another one.
When she’s ready, I put my hands under her ass and pull her hips up to meet mine. I keep her in that position while I slide into her and get to work making a pretty good case for her second orgasm. She reaches above her. Her tits go high and bouncy while she grabs at nothing, as if trying to hold on. I drop her back on the pillow, fold over her, and angle deeper. I pin one of her flailing arms by her head, then do the same with the other. I restrain her and fuck her and have my fill of her and I’m just lost enough that I’m not sure if she comes, but I think she does, so I finally release, exploding like a volcano that’s been stopped up for centuries.
Either she’s shaking, or I am, or we both are. Water drips from my hair to her chest. It could be sweat. My arms feel weak, so I drop onto my elbows and finally rest my body on top of hers. I’m sure I’m crushing her, but she wraps one arm around my back.
With that one gesture, I feel a wave of guilt for how I just handled her.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“For what?”
“I don’t know.” I’ve been told by some of my partners that I can be dominant in the bedroom, but that I’m a lover first. I’m worried that right now, I got so carried away, I didn’t take good enough care of her. I try to get up, but my muscles are liquid. “It was too much.”
“It was perfect,” she says.
I sigh, too beat to argue over something I want to
be wrong about. “Good.”
After a few seconds, I’m able to move off of her. I stand, but she stays splayed out on the bed, sunken into the mattress. “Did you come again?” I ask.
She just nods.
“Can you move?”
She shakes her head.
I smile. “All right. You don’t have to. How about if I bring you some coffee?”
She sighs deeply, her eyes closed. “Sure. Whatever.”
My eyes nearly pop out of my head. Here, I’ve been worried she might prefer coffee to anything else, even sex. Even me. And she feels whatever about it? She must really be out of it. I need something to do with myself until the next round, so I trash the condom in the bathroom, pull on my boxer briefs, and head into the kitchen. I start a pot of Quench coffee. It no longer belongs to Sadie. It’s post-fucking-Halston coffee now, and it’ll taste even better. Because Halston and I are better. I might’ve elbowed my way into her life, but Halston hasn’t held back with me. She was completely present just now. Sadie often went somewhere else in our most intimate moments—to Nathan, I guess. I could tell, even when she denied it.
Not Halston, though. She gave me all of herself, and all I had to do was ask.
As soon as the pot drips its last drop, Halston shuffles into the kitchen, blonde hair damp and tousled, wearing just my t-shirt. It swings around her bare thighs. I’d bet a million bucks she’s got no panties on under there. That’s enough to get me half hard again. “Hey.”
She grins like a junkie who just raided her stash. “Hi.”
“Sit. I’ve got your coffee coming right up. Strong as an ox.”
She scrapes a chair out from under the kitchen table and plops onto it. “That was . . .”
“Shitty?” I ask.
Her cheeks burn red. “That’s not funny. I can’t believe you did that.”
“I told you to get un-squeamish. At least we were in the shower.” I get two mugs from a cupboard as she scoffs. I look back at her. “Listen, in the bedroom, if it feels good for both of us, it’s fair game. That’s all I’m saying.”
She narrows her eyes, shaking her head with a small smile. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever . . .” She looks down at her lap and goes completely still. “Um. Finn?”
Yours to Bare Page 15