by Josiah Upton
She speaks as if I'm supposed to pay her a daily visit. The last time I ran into her was after I pummeled Dalton, which resulted in a closed-door meeting in her office, with more touching and words that my Prisoner interpreted as sexual advances. Even now, the Lust brings despicable thoughts racing through my mind. My time at school would be much easier if I never saw her again. “I was out sick for a little bit, caught a nasty virus.”
“Oh no!” she squeaks, like a frightened mouse, putting her lips out in a mock pout. “I hate it when I catch a bug. The last time I was sick, my body was sore all over, and I just laid around all day. But you know what made me feel really good? I nice, hot bath. Did you try that?”
More images flash through my mind. My fists clench, and the Mortetine sends a little numbness over me, but not enough. I have to look away from her. “No, ma'am, I don't have a bathtub. Just a shower stall. And I'm feeling much better now. I should be going.”
“Of course, Zaul. I don't want to make you late today. I'll see you around!” My Prisoner screams bitterly as Vicky walks away with a bounce in her step, her fleshy contours shifting back and forth, as if asking me to chase after her. I don't know how, but she must be completely unaware of what her appearance and friendly demeanor does to me. I immediately leave the office and shovel more Mortetine down my throat.
I walk slowly to Mr. Neal's class, fearing the moment when I see Genny and she sees me. But when I arrive at the door, I find the room empty. I smell, then hear, someone approach me from behind. “Zaul, where have you been?”
I turn around and see Mr. Neal's pear-shaped frame, hands on his bulging hips as his magnified, beady eyes peer out from his lenses. I haven't missed the sight of him. “I was at home, sick.”
“No,” he sighs, taking me by the arm and leads me down the hall. The sensation of his hand brings on a completely different symptom than the one incited by Vicky's touch. “I mean, where have you been this morning? Our class's bus almost left without you!”
“Left where?”
“To the zoo, remember? Your friend Ms. Grest handed me the field trip permission slip your uncle signed earlier this week. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show up at all. Let's move!”
My mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out. I'm not sure what to address first. Apparently, while I was gone, a class trip to the zoo was planned, and Genny – who is still human, for the time being – forged my uncle's signature on the permission slip. How, and perhaps more importantly why, she did this, I haven't the slightest clue. All I know is it will be that much harder to ignore her now.
With much huffing and puffing from Mr. Neal, we emerge out the school's back doors, where an idling bus awaits us. I assume that Genny is on it, and will be expecting me to sit next to her. I don't think I can bear that. I feel the urge to run away, but Mr. Neal's hand is clamped firmly on my arm all the way until we reach the bus's steps.
As I anticipated, she is sitting at the back, waving at me with a smile that I know her face doesn't normally come by these days. So she hasn't forgotten me, and doesn't suspect that our friendship has changed in any way. Soon my words, or lack of them, will take that comfort from her, and make that smile disappear. I swallow hard and make my way to the back.
My joints bend and snap rigidly as I sit next to her, but I turn away as much as I can, so that my back is almost to her, and I'm looking out the window on the other side. “How was your trip?” I hear her say from behind me.
Trip? I was unaware that I went on one. I resolved myself to ignore Genny, but this question makes me turn to face her without thinking. “When you didn't show up to class for a few days, I stopped by your house. Your uncle said you went to Lake Charles to see some family, and that you'd be back today.”
Not only do I have to sort out the lies I've made, but also the ones made on my behalf by Gibbs, who neglected to tell me any of this. I recall someone knocking on the front door last week, and Gibbs shutting the door over my barrier as usual, but afterward he said nothing of it, and I thought nothing of it. “It was fine,” I utter tepidly, and turn away again. But even when I can't see her, I can smell her. I should have ripped away from Mr. Neal's hand and ran away, and never returned. I don't know how I can keep doing this.
Moments of silence pass as the bus moves forward, and I can feel Genny's eyes from the side of my face, most likely lost in confusion. “So, did you get to play a lot of board games?” she asks, a small amount of hopeful perkiness in her voice.
“Board games?” I ask over my shoulder.
“Yeah. Before I left, your uncle told me that you and your cousin always play board games when you see each other, and to ask you about it when you get back. Seemed kinda random for him to tell me that.”
Actually, not that random. This is a reminder, a clear message from him to me that I must not forget the story he told, when a Hybrid Reanimate playing a simple board game with a friend resulted in blood and death and brokenness. I won't let that happen to Genny or her father, no matter how desperately I want her in my wretched life. She can't be part of it.
“It was fun,” I say dismissively, still refusing to look at her. I imagine that my behavior is hurting her, because it's hurting me too.
“Zaul, are you alright?”
“Fine,” I say.
“Doesn't seem like it. In fact, you're kind of being a jerk right now,” she declares. I remain silent. “You didn't even say goodbye when you left my house. I thought maybe you were in a hurry, or my dad said something rude to you. Then, you don't show up to school, and you didn't even tell me you were going out of town. And now, you won't even look at me. Talk to me!”
I hesitate. Every word I offer undermines my painful goal of cutting her off. “I can't.”
“Why not?”
Silence.
Out of my peripheral I see her cross her arms and look out the window. “You're welcome, by the way,” she utters bitterly.
This statement riles my curiosity, and I can't help but address it. “For what?”
“I went to your house again, to have your uncle sign the permission slip, but he didn't answer, so I took the liberty of signing it for him. Now you get to see how exactly this country is treating Hybrid Reanimates.”
“Hybrids?” I ask, pivoting in my seat to face her. The unexpected mention of my kind eliminated all restraint. “What do you mean? I thought we were going to the zoo!”
“We are,” she replies, now turning away from me. “Pueblo Zoo is opening a new 'Ugger' exhibit today, and the National Curriculum thought it was important for the school to see just how savage and inhuman these creatures can be. And of course, it made Mr. Neal absolutely giddy when he told us about it, and requested for our bus to be the first to arrive. Makes me sick, the way he talks about Hybrids. He's just as bad as Caesar.”
“But I thought they were all in Colorado Territorial...”
“And I thought you weren't talking to me,” she bites. “Like I said, the National Curriculum wants us to see how monstrous they are, and apparently so does the APA, because they funded the exhibit. It's been hyped up at my father's work, he says. From the way he heard it described, they keep the ones in the exhibit off medication, and antagonize them into savage behavior. It's not meant to encourage sympathy for them, only fear and hatred.”
“And do you sympathize with them?” I ask, my attempt at ignoring her all but completely forgotten. She turns to me, eyebrow raised. “I mean, have you ever seen one in person? From what I've heard, maybe they should be feared and hated.”
As I say these words, I realize that they aren't fair. I, in fact, know that she has seen one in person. She's spoken with one, befriended one and let one into her room. I'm also aware that her impending condition makes her more fit for sympathy than any other human girl her age. And yet she has no idea what exactly I am, or what I know about her, so she can't even use these things as ammunition.
“I don't hate them, or fear them,” she says, her eyes cold.
She lowers her voice, making sure the students around us cannot hear. “They're people, just like us. They're misunderstood, and it isn't fair how they're presented, or how they're treated. I'm not looking forward to this exhibit.”
“Then why did you say 'you're welcome'? If this is going to be so horrible and inhumane, then why should I thank you for getting that slip signed?”
“I was being sarcastic.” Genny looks down, shaking her head. “I know how everyone else is going to act when we get there. They're going to laugh at these people, shout at them, throw things. Spit on them, if we're let close enough. I was hoping that if you came too, you wouldn't be like that, and I wouldn't be alone during this.” She looks up at me again, her face a mixture of hurt and anger. “But I guess I was wrong. I was obviously an idiot for thinking you'd want to be my friend.”
She continues to lock her eyes with mine for a long time, and the anger gives way to the hurt, as tears start to well up in them. She leans in closer, just inches from my face. “Why did you run out of the basement, without even looking my way? What did my dad say to you, down there?” She puts her hand to her chest, clutching her shirt. “I mean, do you know, about... about me?”
Speaking at the moment is impossible. Heated words exchanged, emotional breakdowns, prolonged eye contact, the revealing of intimate secrets – this is the exact opposite of how I'm supposed to sever this friendship. The longer I look at her, the more the idea of looking away hurts. I was perfectly fine living in darkness and solitude, until I met Genny. I now realize that not just any warmth and light will do. I need hers.
“Yes, I know about your condition.” Her face winces, and the tears start to fall from her eyes and down her cheeks, causing small streams through her makeup. My hand finds hers, and it feels good and right. And best of all, not a peep is heard from my Prisoner. My symptoms don't factor in my draw to this human. Who knows if I will ever achieve something like this again? I throw all logic and reason aside, I disregard all the sound advice Gibbs has given me, and make my decision. This is going to be much harder to keep from him.
I squeeze her palm against mine. “And I do want to be your friend.”
Chapter 26
The bus rolls to a stop, and Genny and I look out the windows to see the front entrance of the Pueblo Zoo. There are many other buses behind us and in front of us, and the realization of just how crowded this day will be makes me tense up. I'll need to find some time to sneak some Mortetine when Genny isn't looking.
“Alright everybody, we're here!” Mr. Neal cries with delight as he stands at the front of the bus. “There's going to be a lot of people here today to see the new Hybrid exhibit, so make sure you don't get separated from your buddy. Does everyone have a buddy?” He goes down the aisle and writes on a clipboard the pairs of students partnering up together.
Lastly he arrives to Genny and I, looking suspiciously at us. “Am I to assume that you will be buddies?” Genny locks her arm in mine and smiles. I smile too. “Very well. Make sure you two are on your best behavior, and don't get into trouble. If I get any problems from you, you'll be separated for the rest of the semester. Is this understood?” We both nod. “Good.”
As we exit the bus, I notice children and adults of all ages filing into the zoo. “Look at how young some of these kids are,” Genny says, pointing at a small boy, a little less than three feet tall. “I'll bet he's not here just to see the giraffes. But I suppose if you want your children to believe in monsters, you have to start early.”
After we enter through the gate, Mr. Neal turns and stops us from proceeding. “Our school will be seeing the Hybrids at 11:00, so until then you may walk around freely and view the other exhibits. After that, we're going to have lunch in the park next to the zoo, then we'll head back to school, where you will be dismissed early for the weekend. Be sure that you are at the bus by 12:30, and not a minute later.” He pauses to look at Genny and I with wide, magnified eyes. “Here are your maps of the zoo, and I will see you all at the Hybrid exhibit in a few hours.”
The pairs of students begin to wander off in different directions, and I turn to Genny, waiting for a cue from her. I don't think I've ever been inside a zoo before. “What do you want to go see first?” I unfold the map and scan the different exhibits, and one catches my eye. “There's a farm area down this way, with some pigs...”
“Bor-ing,” she yawns mockingly, and snatches the map from my hand. “We're going to go here, where the monkeys are. That's my favorite.”
Something registers in my mind, and I remember the collection of her childhood drawings covering that door in her basement, one of them with crude representations of monkeys. “Have you been to a zoo before?” I ask as we walk forward.
“Yeah. One of the few clear memories I have of my mom, when she and my dad took me here. The first thing we saw was the monkeys, and I liked them so much that I didn't want to look at anything else. We must have went back to see them several times that day.”
“How old were you?”
“Four. It was when my mom was getting sick. My dad says she didn't smile much around then, but on that day, she did. Maybe I actually don't remember it, but just think I do because he tells that story all the time. I think it's his last good memory of us as a family.” Genny grimaces slightly, squinting in the bright sun, then smiles and wraps her arm around my shoulder, tugging me towards the left. “C'mon, buddy, monkeys are this way.”
This area must be far away from the Hybrid exhibit, because it's significantly less crowded here. As we draw closer to a cage wrought of iron bars, I see furry little inhabitants peering out at us, not much larger than a house cat. Their body is covered with dark hair, except for long white strands protruding out from around their mouths, strangely resembling an overgrown mustache. The handrail surrounding the cage holds a sign reading: saguinus imperator – Emperor Tamarin.
“Look at him!” Genny squeals. “Isn't he so cute?”
The term cute is still a little confusing to me. And while Genny gushes over this petite little creature, all I can do is wonder how such an animal would taste. We walk around to the other cages and look at different breeds of monkey, and it's the same scenario with each of them: What would it be like to sink my teeth into their flesh? After all, if both monkeys and humans are considered primates, then there must be some sort of connection between the two.
I soon appreciate where I am, in a large stretch of land containing various animals that I could never dream of tasting anywhere else. What would it be like, to have free reign over this park, to let all the inhabitants out of their cages, and go “hunting”? I think more and more about this, and at a cage containing capuchin monkeys I find myself gripping the handrail, licking my lips, then groaning as the Mortetine makes me nauseous. The little monkeys must sense what I'm thinking, because they become restless and alternate between looking at me uneasily and squawking at each other.
“Zaul, come look at this.”
Genny leads me away from the worrisome monkeys and towards a larger cage a few yards away. Inside it are primates that I come to learn are chimpanzees, and their appearance and weight further resembles humans. But as I stare at them, I notice they are looking at me. Very soon all of them are congregated together and hanging onto the bars of the their cage, refusing to take their eyes off me. I take a step forward, and a few of them bare their teeth. One more step, and most of them start to howl and shriek. I freeze, now knowing this behavior is specifically triggered by my presence.
“I wonder what's wrong with them,” Genny muses, and I wish her musing would stop. I'm getting the feeling that these apes know what I am, and they don't like me being near them in the least.
I can smell someone approaching from behind, and I turn to see a woman with a name tag, an employee of the zoo. “These guys have been giving us trouble recently, ever since we brought those Hybrid things in here. We originally planned to have the exhibit right next to the chimps, but the chimps started going nuts when they sa
w the first Ugger. They wouldn't shut up. So, we put the Uggers on the other side of the park. Did you just come from that exhibit? Maybe they smell it on you or something.”
“No.” Genny says slowly, still observing the fit the chimps are throwing. “This is the first place we came to.”
“Huh,” the woman says, and I hope that's all she says. “I'm not sure what's wrong with them. Maybe they're just jealous that no one's coming to see them today. I think you two are the first to head down this way...”
“And where are the elephants?” I interrupt, hoping to stop whatever train of thought might be going through Genny's head. If these little hairy pests help her figure out what I am, then it's all over for me. No more friend, and perhaps no more life.
“That way,” the woman says, pointing ahead, and I quickly pull Genny away from the chimpanzees.
We observe the other exhibits as we walk, and luckily none of the animals react to my passing by as the chimps did, nor does Genny mention anything else about that. We arrive at the elephants, and she leans forward on the wooden rail, looking out at the gigantic gray beasts. The wind whips her blonde hair around, and she uses her delicate hand to tuck it behind her ear. She notices that I'm staring at her, and smiles reflexively. “What?” she asks, chuckling.
I'm not sure what to say. I have a pesky habit of looking at her, and it's hard to explain. “Nothing.” I blurt, forcing my eyes onto the elephants, their large, leathery legs moving up and down as they walk. I'm not sure I would want to attack something that large, or even venture to guess what it tastes like. Probably too tough.
“You know,” she sighs, turning her body slightly towards me. “If my dad told anyone else about me, the whole school would have heard about it by now. My life would be more of a hell than it already is. Why doesn't my... situation... bother you?”
The reason it doesn't bother me is simply because I'm far worse off than she is. At least she's still human. But how do I explain that to her? I can't. “I don't know. It just doesn't. You're my friend, and a virus doesn't change that.” A small smirk creeps onto her face. A strange question itches inside me, and before I can stop, the words come out. “Would you tell everyone in school, if you knew something like that about me?”