The House on the Borderland
Page 21
_XX_
THE CELESTIAL GLOBES
For a while, many thoughts crowded my mind, so that I was unable to doaught, save stare, blindly, before me. I seemed whelmed in a sea ofdoubt and wonder and sorrowful remembrance.
It was later, that I came out of my bewilderment. I looked about,dazedly. Thus, I saw so extraordinary a sight that, for a while, I couldscarcely believe I was not still wrapped in the visionary tumult of myown thoughts. Out of the reigning green, had grown a boundless river ofsoftly shimmering globes--each one enfolded in a wondrous fleece of purecloud. They reached, both above and below me, to an unknown distance;and, not only hid the shining of the Green Sun; but supplied, in placethereof, a tender glow of light, that suffused itself around me, likeunto nothing I have ever seen, before or since.
In a little, I noticed that there was about these spheres, a sort oftransparency, almost as though they were formed of clouded crystal,within which burned a radiance--gentle and subdued. They moved on, pastme, continually, floating onward at no great speed; but rather asthough they had eternity before them. A great while, I watched, andcould perceive no end to them. At times, I seemed to distinguish faces,amid the cloudiness; but strangely indistinct, as though partly real,and partly formed of the mistiness through which they showed.
For a long time, I waited, passively, with a sense of growing content.I had no longer that feeling of unutterable loneliness; but felt,rather, that I was less alone, than I had been for kalpas of years. Thisfeeling of contentment, increased, so that I would have been satisfiedto float in company with those celestial globules, forever.
Ages slipped by, and I saw the shadowy faces, with increased frequency,also with greater plainness. Whether this was due to my soul havingbecome more attuned to its surroundings, I cannot tell--probably it wasso. But, however this may be, I am assured now, only of the fact that Ibecame steadily more conscious of a new mystery about me, telling methat I had, indeed, penetrated within the borderland of someunthought-of region--some subtle, intangible place, or form, ofexistence.
The enormous stream of luminous spheres continued to pass me, at anunvarying rate--countless millions; and still they came, showing nosigns of ending, nor even diminishing.
Then, as I was borne, silently, upon the unbuoying ether, I felt asudden, irresistible, forward movement, toward one of the passingglobes. An instant, and I was beside it. Then, I slid through, into theinterior, without experiencing the least resistance, of any description.For a short while, I could see nothing; and waited, curiously.
All at once, I became aware that a sound broke the inconceivablestillness. It was like the murmur of a great sea at calm--a seabreathing in its sleep. Gradually, the mist that obscured my sight,began to thin away; and so, in time, my vision dwelt once again upon thesilent surface of the Sea of Sleep.
For a little, I gazed, and could scarcely believe I saw aright. Iglanced 'round. There was the great globe of pale fire, swimming, as Ihad seen it before, a short distance above the dim horizon. To my left,far across the sea, I discovered, presently, a faint line, as of thinhaze, which I guessed to be the shore, where my Love and I had met,during those wonderful periods of soul-wandering, that had been grantedto me in the old earth days.
Another, a troubled, memory came to me--of the Formless Thing that hadhaunted the shores of the Sea of Sleep. The guardian of that silent,echoless place. These, and other, details, I remembered, and knew,without doubt that I was looking out upon that same sea. With theassurance, I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of surprise, andjoy, and shaken expectancy, conceiving it possible that I was about tosee my Love, again. Intently, I gazed around; but could catch no sightof her. At that, for a little, I felt hopeless. Fervently, I prayed, andever peered, anxiously.... How still was the sea!
Down, far beneath me, I could see the many trails of changeful fire,that had drawn my attention, formerly. Vaguely, I wondered what causedthem; also, I remembered that I had intended to ask my dear One aboutthem, as well as many other matters--and I had been forced to leave her,before the half that I had wished to say, was said.
My thoughts came back with a leap. I was conscious that something hadtouched me. I turned quickly. God, Thou wert indeed gracious--it wasShe! She looked up into my eyes, with an eager longing, and I lookeddown to her, with all my soul. I should like to have held her; but theglorious purity of her face, kept me afar. Then, out of the windingmist, she put her dear arms. Her whisper came to me, soft as the rustleof a passing cloud. 'Dearest!' she said. That was all; but I had heard,and, in a moment I held her to me--as I prayed--forever.
In a little, she spoke of many things, and I listened. Willingly, wouldI have done so through all the ages that are to come. At times, Iwhispered back, and my whispers brought to her spirit face, once more,an indescribably delicate tint--the bloom of love. Later, I spoke morefreely, and to each word she listened, and made answer, delightfully; sothat, already, I was in Paradise.
She and I; and nothing, save the silent, spacious void to see us; andonly the quiet waters of the Sea of Sleep to hear us.
Long before, the floating multitude of cloud-enfolded spheres hadvanished into nothingness. Thus, we looked upon the face of theslumberous deeps, and were alone. Alone, God, I would be thus alone inthe hereafter, and yet be never lonely! I had her, and, greater thanthis, she had me. Aye, aeon-aged me; and on this thought, and someothers, I hope to exist through the few remaining years that may yet liebetween us.