The Fear of Falling

Home > Romance > The Fear of Falling > Page 15
The Fear of Falling Page 15

by Amanda Cowen


  “Holy shit, man.” Kale drops his luggage, eyes wide. “How dare you hide this place from us all these years! It’s amazing. We can literally walk right out the front door onto the beach. And don’t even get me started on the hot tub I see through the patio doors.”

  Jayce laughs. “It’s okay, I guess.”

  “Okay?” Kale says, making himself comfortable on the sofa. “We are vacationing in serious style. Chicks are going to flock to us in this pad.”

  “Speak for yourself.” Jayce wraps his arm around Maisie’s waist. “I’ve got the best chick right here.”

  “Aw,” she gushes, kissing his cheek and smiling. “That’s sweet, babe.”

  “Great,” Ryan scoffs.

  “What?” Jayce pipes up. “I’m going to spend my time partying with you guys, too,” he assures them. “But some of us are in a relationship, so let’s try to keep it PG this week with random chicks.”

  Ryan flicks his mischievous eyes to Kale. “Don’t worry, bud. You’ve got us singles and this Aussie boy to make sure this place is swarming with random women at all times.” His grin blazes in my direction.

  Liam laughs and shakes his head. “I’m always happy to tag along, mate. But count me out as a full-fledged single. I’m still working hard to convince this one here to be my girlfriend.” He drapes an arm along my shoulders, drawing me tight against his side.

  Ryan’s brows pull together as he looks at us, making my stomach drop a little. Liam has asked me to be exclusive several times in the past few months, but I kept turning him down, and not just because he can be a belligerent drunk or because he thinks my paintings aren’t anything spectacular. I like him; I really do. He’s attractive and smart, and he’s nice enough when he’s sober. But the thought of calling him my boyfriend makes me nervous. I told him I’d rather keep things light and casual until he knows for sure if he’ll be staying in America. And with Disney Animation off the table, and me submitting a throng of new internship applications all over the country, the uncertainty of both our futures deters me from committing to a relationship. My decision has nothing to do with Ryan, even though Maisie thinks she can psychoanalyze me and suggest it does.

  Maisie leans forward. “Aw, that’s so sweet. Huh, Ryan?”

  Amusement twinkles in her eyes; I regret ever confiding in her. She’s grown nosier, if that was somehow even possible, and her hopeless-romantic side has kicked in full force ever since I confessed at Hennessey.

  “This is spring break, not a couple’s trip,” Ryan says. He turns his attention to me. “Right, Jonesy?”

  My stomach twists into a knot but I push past it, wanting the week to not be strange on any level. Things have shifted between us recently. I realize everything must appear status quo to our friends, but when Ryan and I spend time alone together, I’ve sensed tension and maybe even a little discomfort between us that never existed before. And right now, I continue to feel a strange charge between us as he waits for my response

  “Uh, yeah… right.” I have to look away from him. I need to take a break from his grin and his taunts and other efforts to get a rise from me.

  Liam scratches the back of his head. “Geez, mate. You already stole her as your roommate for the week. The least you could do is count me out while you two bozos attempt to turn this place into the Playboy Mansion.”

  “Whatever, mate. Your loss.” Ryan smirks at Liam, then turns his attention to Kale. “Just more ladies for us.”

  “Oh yeeeaaahhh!” Kale dramatically shouts from the comfort of the sofa. He even gives a few celebratory fist pumps in the air. “Playboy Mansion-in-the-making. I’m thinking everyone should just call Ryan and I, Hugh.”

  I feel annoyance, and I don’t want it to consume me. If I think too much about how single and ready to mingle Ryan is, it’ll make me panic. Not because I care if he hooks up with other girls, but because I care if he hooks up with them in our bedroom.

  “You better not get any ideas about bringing girls back to our bedroom,” I tell him, my facial expression letting him know I mean business. “Or you can count our rock-toss bet null and void, and Kale can move in with you and I’ll bunk with Liam.”

  Ryan studies me, his jaw clenching. “I guess it’s a good thing I don’t need a bed to hook up.”

  Kale laughs and high-fives Ryan. This only infuriates me further.

  “Speaking of bunking. Let me show you where you’ll be sleeping,” Jayce suggests.

  “Come on, Liam,” I say, taking his hand in mine. We follow Jayce and Maisie as we make our way up the staircase.

  Behind me, I can hear Ryan’s footsteps moving quickly toward me. He touches my shoulder with the palm of his hand, guiding me away from Liam. He successfully wedges himself between us in an unassuming, organic movement through the shuffle.

  Once we all make it onto the landing, Jayce nods to a bedroom door to the left. “Kale and Liam, that bedroom is yours,” he says, then nods to a door on the opposite side of the hallway. “Ryan and Ella…” he smirks. “Your humble abode awaits.”

  Ryan steps forward, places his hand on the knob and turns to face me. “Come on, roomie.”

  I glance apologetically in Liam’s direction. He takes a step forward and places a soft kiss on my lips. “This really sucks,” he groans.

  “Tell me about it,” I grumble.

  “A bet is a bet.” Ryan’s hand locks around my elbow to gently tug me backward through the doorway. “Don’t worry, Aussie boy, I’ll take good care of her” is the last thing he says before he closes the door behind us.

  _________

  I’ve never been happier to see two twin mattresses separated by a single white dresser. I drop my luggage and flop down on the bed closest to the exit, claiming it as mine. Ryan laughs at the sight of me spread out like a starfish on top of a striped comforter. “Don’t get too comfy. We have a whole day ahead of us,” he says.

  The bedroom is spacious and bright, with French doors leading to a little terrace overlooking the ocean. Ryan pulls them open, and a gust of cool air billows into our bedroom, causing the curtains to flutter in the breeze. He turns to an interior wall and pulls open a door to our own personal bathroom.

  He wiggles his eyebrows at me. “It’s your lucky day… no lock,” he says, jiggling the bathroom door handle. “Sucks for you, though. When you’re still chumming around with Thor you can only look; you can’t touch. So don’t get any ideas when I’m naked in the shower. This body is off-limits.”

  “I’ve seen enough of that body to last me a lifetime,” I say, scanning his tall athletic build and trying my best to ignore his dimpled smile. “I’m good, thanks.”

  But I’m so not good right now. I’m completely lost in my head, overthinking Ryan having a morning shower. The thought of his body, wet and naked behind an unlocked door, has my heart unwillingly beating at an accelerated rate.

  He laughs, clearly amused and unaffected by my attempted dismissal. He walks over to my bedside. I quickly sit up as his eyes make the circuit from my face and down over my entire body. He leans in close, his breath blowing against my ear and his lips lingering near my face. “You’re a terrible liar. Always have been, always will be.”

  I’m struck with a confusing mix of elation and panic. I inhale sharply, closing my eyes as he pulls away slowly.

  Someone swiftly knocks on the door. I open my eyes and Ryan takes a step backward, and placing a safe amount of distance between us.

  Maisie saunters into our bedroom in nothing but a yellow string bikini, her long blonde hair flowing past her shoulders. She stops dead in her tracks and frowns. “Where’s your bikini?” she asks. “And why aren’t you ready?”

  “It’s still in my luggage,” I tell her, breathless.

  “What have you two been doing?” she asks, her tone and shifting gaze spelling out her curiosity. Ryan appears unfazed, but I know my face is flushed. “Everyone else is already waiting by the boardwalk,” she adds.

  “It’s Jonesy’s fault we’r
e straggling behind,” he clarifies. “She can’t get enough of me.”

  I glare at him as he says this, even though my heart hauls off into a full sprint. “Holding me hostage in a bedroom as a consolation prize from a game of rock toss seems like you’re the one who can’t get enough of me.”

  “Yeah, okay,” he laughs off my accusation. “You missed your tenth and final shot on purpose. Just admit it.”

  “Dream on.”

  “You two bicker like an old married couple,” Maisie says. “Stop talking and get ready.”

  Ryan laughs at this. I unzip my luggage, pulling out a teal-and-purple bikini. “Watch the bathroom door for me, Maisie. Mr. Pervert discovered there’s no lock.” I grin at Ryan as he circles around my bedside to retrieve his luggage.

  “Mr. Pervert, huh?” he quips, digging for a pair of swim shorts. “I’m not the one visibly excited right now.” He stares directly at my breasts, nodding at the hardened peaks under my shirt. Okay, so I didn’t wear a padded bra today, and the breeze blowing into our bedroom from the patio doors has my ladies on alert. There is no need for him to flatter himself. His whispers may have raised a few hairs on my neck, but they have zero effect on me now.

  “Okay. Enough, you two,” Maisie says, tapping her bare foot on the floor. “Hurry up.”

  Ryan laughs to himself as I walk into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

  I slip into my bikini; and the three of us head outside to find Jayce, Kale and Liam sitting on a bench facing the front of the beach house. There are people bicycling, walking and jogging along the boardwalk. There are birds and boats everywhere. I smell the ocean and fried food. My stomach clenches, quickly telling me I need something to eat.

  Jayce whistles at the sight of Maisie as she strolls down the front steps like she’s on a runway. Kale and Liam stand up to greet us.

  “When did you buy that bikini?” Jayce raises his sunglasses to get a better look at Maisie’s curvy and fit body. “I fucking love it.”

  “Before we left.” She does a little twirl. Jayce walks up to her and picks her up by her butt, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist and her arms wrapping around his neck. He growls into her neck and she giggles, tossing her head back.

  Kale passes Ryan a beer from a travel cooler by his feet. Ryan cracks it open, takes a sip and slides on his sunglasses, his stare fixed in my direction as Liam approaches me.

  “You look stunning, too,” Liam says. His hands wrap around my waist, and he smiles down at me to admire my bikini under my sheer cover-up. “I wasn’t looking for a fight this week, but with you looking like this in that, I may just find myself knocking some guy out for simply staring.”

  I blush. “I’m pretty sure that won’t be a problem.” I kiss his cheek before pulling away. “Especially once those guys catch a glimpse of me devouring a pile of Coney Island hotdogs. I am starving, and all I can smell is carnival food.”

  Jayce chimes in with a laugh, placing Maisie back down. “Probably because of Balboa Island.” He points across the bay to a section of land with a Ferris wheel, amusement-park rides, shops and restaurants. “We can go if you want to, but we need to take a ferry across the bay.”

  “I can’t wait for a ferry. I am starving now,” I tell him.

  “There’s a little Mexican restaurant about a block away,” Jayce suggests.

  “Yes, sounds good. Let’s go.”

  Just as we turn in the direction of the restaurant, I hear a female voice come from my right. “Ohmygod. Ryan Owen? Is that you?”

  My neck reflexes react before my brain can stop them. I see Tiffany Collins, one of Ryan’s ex-fuck-buddies, jogging up to him from across the beach like she’s in an episode of Baywatch, complete with the red bikini. Her curly blonde hair bobs at every step, unlike her fake boobs, which oddly remain in place. She curls her pink lips into a seductive smile as she rests a hand on his forearm. “Seriously? What are the chances?” she laughs, tossing her head back. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

  “Tiff Collins,” Ryan says slowly, a cock-sure smile touching his lips. “Must be my lucky day. Long time no see. Of course, still looking good as ever.”

  Tiffany’s grin stretches from one side of her face to the other. Her leggy brunette friend stands behind her, smiling and eyeing up Kale like he’s a fresh piece of man-meat. Of course, Kale loves every minute of it,, and I swear he purposely puffs out his chest in response.

  “What on earth on you doing in Newport?” Tiffany bats her eyelashes in his direction. “Wait… let me guess. Spring break,” she giggles.

  “Yup,” he says, taking a long pull from his beer.

  I hated Tiffany Collins. Out of all of Ryan’s fuck-buddies, she was the worst. She’s a year older than us, and graduated last year from the University of San Francisco with a Communications degree. I would be lying if I said I was sad to see her move on to a career in the Los Angeles area and subsequently leave Ryan’s bed. She used baby talk, asked him a million times if she was fat even though she’s a size zero, and would loudly proclaim ‘this is your last beer’ when we were out having a good time. Not to mention that she hated me, and even tried to forbid Ryan from seeing me. She was unsuccessful, of course.

  “And Kale, is that you?” she asks.

  “The one and only,” he chuckles.

  “This is my friend, Sophia,” Tiffany says. “Sophia, meet Kale, and of course Ryan, an old friend of mine.”

  “So nice to meet you,” Sophia gushes.

  Tiffany glances in my direction, eyeing up Jayce, Maisie, and finally Liam.

  “Ella. How nice to see you again.” A forced smile appears on her face. “And Jayce and Maisie.” She turns her attention to Liam. “I see you’ve added another member to your crew. And you are?” she asks, holding out one of her claws.

  “I’m Liam. Nice to meet you,” he shakes her hand. “How do you know, Ryan?” he asks.

  “Oh, we go way back,” she giggles, placing a hand on his bicep. “Do I detect an Australian accent?”

  “Yeah, you do,” I pipe up, wrapping my arm around Liam’s other bicep to let her know he’s with me. “Liam is from Australia.”

  I don’t need to look up to know that Liam’s smile is filling up his entire face. I can practically feel it radiating throughout his body. He bends down and kisses the top of my hair. “How cute of you to speak for me.”

  I can’t help but blush. I can also feel Ryan watching me, his frown becoming deeper. I don’t trust Tiffany, and I’ve seen how ridiculous she makes men behave. I’ve seen it firsthand. I’m really not all that confident with her imposing herself around our group of friends once she finds out we’re vacationing here.

  “Good for you, Ella. You finally found yourself your own man,” Tiffany says in a cold tone. My expression falls as her eyes catch mine and then drift to Ryan.

  Maisie takes a step closer and places a hand on my shoulder, sensing my flaring temper starting.

  I then hear Ryan’s voice. “What brings you to Newport Beach, Tiff?”

  She turns to face him, biting down on her bottom lip. “Fun. And little bit of sun.”

  “Are you coming for a bite to eat? Yes, or no?” Maisie asks, impatiently directing her words to Ryan and Kale. My head turns around to Maisie and I stare at her big brown eyes, now so full of irritation, that it makes me smile. I’m glad I’m not the only one starting to lose my patience.

  “Nah, we’ll stay here and catch up with these two,” Ryan says. “I’ve lost my appetite.” He watches me. I try not to react to that remark, even though his dismissive tone angers me.

  “Yeah, we are on a liquid diet,” Kale laughs, cracking open another beer. “Did you ladies want one?”

  “Absolutely,” Sophia gushes.

  “Count me in,” Tiffany winks at Ryan.

  The only thing I know is that I need to get away from Tiffany and Ryan. Before I can manage to put one foot in front of the other, Liam is at my side, his hand curling around my arm.
/>
  “Come on, Ella,” he says in my ear. “Let’s go eat.”

  I feel my face heat up, and my lips twist into a frown. Of course, Tiffany looks thrilled, like she just won the lottery. All she’s ever wanted was for Ryan to choose her over me. She finally got what she wanted.

  “Alright. Your loss,” Jayce shrugs, intertwining his hand with Maisie’s. “Should we meet you back here in a few hours?”

  Kale nods. “Yup. Sounds good, bud. But if you don’t see us on the beach, you should probably check in the hot tub on the back deck.”

  “Oooh, you have a hot tub?” Tiffany gushes.

  I take a deep breath and purposely block out the next words coming from Ryan’s mouth from my ears. There are a million feelings consuming my every breath as Liam’s arm slides across my waist and we turn away from their little foursome. Tiffany Collins and her friend Sophia will not ruin this week for me. And Ryan better keep his business out of our bedroom!

  Lucky for him, he does. Tiffany and Sophia tag along with our crew in the daytime, but successfully retreat back to their hotel at night. Today, it felt harder than normal not to be annoyed by Ryan. Watching him put on a show in front of Tiffany and Sophia made my skin crawl on more than one occasion. He cracked an abnormal number of jokes, and wandered around shirtless even when unnecessary. Tiffany couldn’t keep her hands off him, and it didn’t help much that Sophia claimed Kale. So much for our last spring break together.

  Ryan and Kale didn’t want a couple’s trip, but it was sure starting to feel like one.

  The next morning, I wake up to Ryan in nothing but his underwear, sprawled out on his mattress with all his blankets kicked to the end of the bed. It’s hard not to admire his very taut and lean body, what with the sun shining from the gleaming windows directly on his tanned skin.

 

‹ Prev