“The fact that Lucifer is gone should force an exception.”
“What do you want?”
“You know what I want, Gabriel.” I held his stare until he looked above, communicating with someone or something.
“There is a condition,” he replied, his eyes darkening in anger. Gabriel didn’t like it any better than I did.
“Name it.”
“You have to serve here for two thousand years, and then return to Earth to live out the rest of your natural life. Then, and only then, can you be together. If you and Michael have contact before you’re released, Michael’s soul will be forfeit.”
I inhaled sharply. “Two thousand years? My body won’t be alive on Earth by then. I don’t want to be a skinwalker like my father.”
He shook his head. “Remember – time moves differently, Carmen. Your body will be alive and waiting for you.”
“Serve here, live my life back home, and then I can be with him?”
“That’s the deal.”
I stared at Gabriel. “How long can I be with him? Is there some fine print you aren’t reading to me?”
He smiled sadly. “Nothing is being hidden. If you serve here and then live your life on Earth, you and Michael can be together for the rest of eternity.”
“In Heaven?”
“Wherever you both decide. Heaven. Earth. Purgatory.”
“Fuck that. I want out of this place, and when I get out, I’m not coming back.”
He smiled. “I understand.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s on Earth at the moment.”
“You found him?” I asked, tears welling in my eyes. What I wouldn’t give to see him, to hear his voice.
“I did. Somehow, he managed to escape Heaven.” When he saw my look of confusion, he added, “With no wings, he came to Earth and was searching for a way to get to you. He was coming for you.”
Tears flooded my eyes.
“Can I negotiate one more thing?” I asked.
Gabriel inclined his head. “You can ask, although I can’t guarantee that your request will be granted.”
“I want to see him. Just for a few minutes. If they let me see him, I’ll agree. I’ll do it.”
Gabriel swallowed thickly. “Are you sure, Carmen? You could go home now and not agree to any of it. Is he worth this?”
“He’s worth everything!” I cried. “Ask them. Please.”
He looked above, relaying my request. When his mouth pursed into a straight line, I knew they weren’t going to let me see him. Anger, red-hot and fiery, rushed through my body.
“I’ll tear the veil. I’ll rip it to fucking shreds! I just want to see him for a few minutes! Just for a few minutes, and then I’ll take the deal. I’ll manage this place and then live my life on Earth. I promise, I’ll do as they ask. I just want to see him.”
“Heaven doesn’t appreciate threats, Carmen,” he said with a smile. “But they have certainly responded. I’ll be back soon.”
“With him?” I shrieked as he ascended the steps again. Gabriel turned and winked as he disappeared.
I wrung my hands, picturing Gabriel’s neck between them. Was he going to get Michael? I just wanted to see him, touch him one last time, before I couldn’t. Before time and distance kept us apart. Archangels were fast. Gabriel was back in seconds, and Michael jogged down those steps, easing around Gabriel. When he saw me, he ran. So did I, and we collided, his arms wrapping around me and mine around him, touching, feeling, memorizing. My tears wet his cheeks as he kissed me.
“My God. You’re okay. You…” He felt all of me, hands searching for damage. “You fought Lucifer?” his voice broke on the name.
“I’m going to miss you so much!” I cried, kissing his neck, his mouth, and his cheeks. His stubble raked beneath my fingernails.
Gabriel cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at the pair of us.
“I love you,” he said breathily.
“I love you,” I cried.
“It’s time,” interrupted Gabriel. “I’m sorry.”
I held him tightly. “No! Please.” Please don’t leave me. Don’t take him away. Don’t…
“I’m sorry,” Gabriel said, and meant it. It was written on his normally steely features.
“Michael? Wait for me,” I pleaded, kissing him one last time.
He ended the kiss and pulled away, his cheeks glistening with my tears and his; a mixture of excruciating sadness and hope. “I will wait for you. No matter what.”
“No matter what.” I kissed him again tenderly.
“We have to go,” Gabriel instructed as he walked up one of the steps.
“No,” I whimpered as Michael pulled away from me and took his friend’s hand.
“It won’t be long,” Michael comforted me. “Be strong, Carmen. It’s what you’re best at.”
His eyes roiled, every color of the rainbow bursting through his irises as he left me in Purgatory and ascended to I didn’t know where. My heart splintered, its fragments bursting violently apart.
Gabriel returned, descending the steps alone, and folded me in his arms. I sobbed on his chest until he, too, pulled away. “I’ve been assigned somewhere else. Remember, you just have to get through this; get through your time here. Make Purgatory what it was meant to be. Don’t let the darkness seep in. Don’t lose yourself to this place, Carmen. Remember who you are and why you’re doing this. In the darkness, remember the light.”
“All I see is gray,” I blubbered, giving Pamela a run for her money.
“When you leave this place, nothing will make sense. Just remember him. Remember Michael. He’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”
“Will I see you again?”
He shook his head. “Not until the time of your bargain is up.”
That made me cry harder. With Michael I had love, and with Gabriel, friendship. Now I was losing both and would have nothing.
“You’ll always have my friendship,” Gabriel answered my thoughts. “I’ve learned so much from you, Carmen. Love isn’t contingent upon time or distance; it exists because it has to. Just remember that love – the love of a friend, the love of your soul mate. No matter what anyone says, remember…”
I handed the sword of Lucifer to him. “I will make sure it is kept safe.” He accepted the blade, and with an inclination of his head, he was gone.
I was alone, save for the crows and souls below.
MICHAEL
Leaving her was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I wanted to kill everyone and everything that stood between me and her, starting with Gabriel. When he came for me, I was surprised, but the look on his face wasn’t angry. It was filled with pity. He understood…finally.
Her touch, the taste of her. I would hold onto the handful of memories I had until she came to me. Until then, I would have to work.
I would bide my time on Earth, where it seemed to pass slowest. Unwelcome in Heaven, unable to return to Purgatory.
I hoped Carmen could somehow feel my love for her through the realms, through time and space. She was strong. She could do this. And so could I. Forever was waiting for both of us.
CARMEN
Purgatory somehow looked brighter. The longer I spent here, the more I was able to clean it up. The Meat Market? Obliterated. The outskirts? No longer needed. Destroyed. The wall? Not necessary. It was the last to go. Most of the souls who survived the invasion were now rested. Many were gone, but new ones arrived each day. An ebb and flow had been established, peaceful and teeming with purpose.
The crows couriered them back and forth across the boundary. Other than to stroke their silken feathers and remember him, I didn’t even have to tell them what to do. It was innate. They were made for this.
I walked through the city, waving at the souls who greeted me. I doubted most knew they were even in Purgatory now. They went about daily life as they would have on Earth, with the exceptions of the manna provided and the cleansing every day.
&nbs
p; Nothing threatened them now. They could rest.
I could rest.
So I did.
Perhaps that was my lesson: Patience.
28
Beeping, whooshing, a song whistled sweetly, expertly. My eyes fluttered open and I stared at the speckled drop ceiling above me, the same one I’d hovered above when this all began. Something was gagging me. The beeps from the machines beside me became frantic. A nurse rushed in. “No wonder the machines are chirping! Look at you. You’re awake!”
She was a sweet, middle-aged woman with skin the color of dark chocolate. It looked as soft as her hair, pinned in waves along her scalp. “I didn’t expect you to wake up today. I’ll get the doctor.”
My chest hurt. Something was... I was choking. I gagged.
“Easy, honey. There’s a tube down your throat.”
I gagged again. My eyes watered as I fought against the intrusion. “It’s okay. It had to breathe for you for a while. I’ll check with the doctor and see if he wants to remove the tube, but for now…” She bent over and scanned a syringe with her machine, waiting until it beeped. Staring at the computer, she smiled. “This should make you relax. You’ll feel better soon. You’re very lucky to have survived such a crash.” She patted my hand. “Be right back.”
The medicine was fast. It relaxed my muscles and I stopped struggling against the tube, relaxing the muscles in my throat. The window blinds were pulled, but I could see the sunshine peeking in between every vertical piece of plastic. Two chairs next to my bed sat empty.
My muscles were sore. Everything hurt. I tried to reposition myself, to find a comfortable way to lay, but couldn’t move. The nurse strolled back into the room with a smile.
“Doctor Bragg is on his way. He’s going to evaluate you and see if we might be able to get rid of that tube.”
Doctor Bragg? He was the same doctor who helped me after the car wreck.
I nodded, tears welling in my eyes, blurring her for a moment.
“We called your father, but he isn’t here yet. I’m sure he’ll come as soon as he can. Is there anyone else I can call for you?”
What the hell was happening? This was enough deja-fucking-vu.
She waited, eyebrows raised until I shook my head no.
The clock on the wall opposite my bed read three forty-five. The same time I woke from being in the… wreck. But that was so long ago… I’d spent two thousand years in Purgatory. He warned me that time worked differently, but this was time reversed altogether. That wasn’t possible. This didn’t make sense at all.
The doctor, a middle-aged man wearing royal blue scrubs, a stethoscope, and a frown stepped into the room. He pumped the hand sanitizer and rubbed it in, staring at me as if I were a waste of his time. I’d had two rounds of his shitty bedside manner.
He was none too gentle about poking and prodding me. “We can remove your tube, but you aren’t well enough to leave the unit. You’ll be here for a while, and you have to take it easy. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
He typed a few things into the rolling computer and then motioned for the nurse to help him. As the intubation was removed, I gagged on plastic, confusion, and spit.
“Try to speak,” he instructed coldly.
I opened my mouth and rasped, “Where… where is he?” The medicine was working too well for me to keep my thoughts straight.
“Where is who? Your father? Probably in the cafeteria or grabbing a shower,” the nurse answered. “He’s been by your side since the accident.”
“What accident?” I asked, wincing when I tried to push myself up. My foot was in a sling. I cursed Dimitri again for putting me in this place, but smiled as I remembered where I sent him.
“A motor vehicle accident,” the doctor answered in a bored tone. “Do you recall the night of the crash?”
“I’m not here because of a crash. Not this time.”
The doctor’s bushy eyebrows furrowed. “Why do you think you’re here?”
“I’m here because I was beaten half to death, asshole. You need to grow some compassion before you talk to any more patients today.”
He scowled at me as the nurse turned away, stifling a laugh.
My mind felt fuzzy. “Where is Michael? Where is the Keeper of Crows?”
“What did you give her?” the doctor asked the nurse. She rattled off some long, stupid medicinal name and he huffed.
“Let it wear off, but I think we may need an MRI if she keeps talking nonsense.”
“I’ll show you nonsense, asshole,” I muttered. Then I promptly fell asleep.
When I woke, I was still in the hospital bed, in the same cookie cutter room that was beside Pamela’s.
When the nurse came back in, she asked me question after question.
What was my name? Carmen Kennedy.
What date was it? Who the fuck knew?
What type of car did I crash? Why are you asking me about a car? Dimitri put me here!
Who was Dimitri?
When my father strolled into the room, steaming coffee in hand, I screamed, trying to sit up in the bed. It was him! He wasn’t gray and he wasn’t alive. He was dead. How was he here? Was he going to kill me?
“He’s going to kill me!” I shrieked, trying to get away from him, clutching the thread-bare sheets beneath me for leverage.
The nurse told Father it would be best if he left for a few minutes.
“Try forever! I don’t know how you’re even alive!”
“What was that all about?” the nurse asked, wide-eyed.
“He’s…the fucking antichrist, and he’s going to kill me. He came back to kill me! I had the crows end him. Their feathers impaled his heart, but evil doesn’t stay fucking dead!” I roared so he could hear me.
“Calm down,” she tried to soothe.
Another nurse came into the room. A woman. Then another. A man.
They approached either side of my bed with their hands up. “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” I screamed, thrashing wildly until my leg screamed in pain. I cried, trying to get them to leave me alone.
“Keep away from me. I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you all!”
I called for the crows. Did I lose the power over them when I woke up? Where the hell were they? I needed them.
A nurse pushed a syringe into the IV port as two others held my arms still. Soon, my body felt warm. My veins. My head. Warm.
“That’s it. Relax.”
“Don’t let him kill me…”
“I won’t, sweetheart. Get some rest. I’ll talk with the doctor.”
“Don’t… let…”
Her footsteps on the tile echoed through my mind.
29
When I woke, my hands were in soft restraints. So was my unbroken leg. I waited for the nurse. The remote at my side had a red button that was supposed to summon them, but after several clicks they still weren’t coming.
A male nurse with dark blue scrubs finally stepped in, pumping the hand sanitizer dispenser once and rubbing the teal goop into his hands before approaching. “How are you feeling?”
“Like absolute shit. Now, why am I tied down?”
“We need to assess you. While you were sedated, an MRI was performed.”
“I didn’t hit my head, dickhole.”
“You’re belligerent,” he deadpanned, pecking the keys on the computer’s keyboard one at a time. He sighed and turned to face me, crossing his arms.
“What is your name?”
“I’ve already told you my name.”
“Humor me,” he said.
“Carmen Kennedy.”
“What year is it?”
“Does it really matter? Why do you keep repeating the same questions over and over?”
“Who is your father?”
“Warren Kennedy.”
“Is he the antichrist?” The nurse narrowed his eyes in challenge.
“YES!”
He smirked as he pecked the keyboard again, dismissing m
e.
“Do you remember the car accident?”
“I’m not in here because of a fucking wreck! I’m in here because Dimitri beat me senseless. He almost killed me, and when I was put in this hell hole, I floated—my soul floated above my body. Then these men with lightning leashes captured me and pulled me through the veil into Purgatory and everything was gray, and they were trying to sell me into… sex slavery, and then I learned that my father is the antichrist. He was setting up a kingdom, and there were Lessons there.” I jerked my arms, trying to free myself. “Some had no eyes, some had their ears filled with tar, and others had skin over their mouths. Demons put them there. Demons! Because my father was one of them. Lucifer gave him his sword, but in the end…” I smiled. “I killed him. I killed the devil.”
The doctor on duty, a petite woman with a hairstyle from 1990, stepped into the room. “Did you hear all that?” the male nurse asked her.
“I did.” She stepped toward me. “Your MRI showed no trauma. At this point, I think it’s best that we ask our on-staff psychiatric team to evaluate you.”
“Psychiatric team? I’m not crazy!” I thrashed against the bed. “Untie me. Please, doctor. I’ll tell you all about it. Everything you want to know. Oprah would want to interview me for this. She would love the story. Trust me when I say that I know I’m sane.”
“I know, dear. But you need the best care possible to recover from this.” Her eyes flicked to the nurse and then to the screen. “I’ve given the okay for them to move you to a new unit.”
“I’m not crazy,” my scratchy voice pleaded.
“I know—”
“You don’t know!” I kicked and flailed. “Because you won’t listen.”
“Call psych and ask the on-duty if they want us to tranquilize her before we send her up.”
The nurse nodded. “Will do.”
“I don’t need tranquilizers. I’m not an animal. What is wrong with you people?” I shouted. Then the tears began to flow. When they started, gut-wrenching sobs wracked my body. My tired body. I was so tired.
Tired of yelling. Tired of fighting. Tired of hurting. My leg hurt so badly. My head throbbed.
Keeper of Crows (The Keeper of Crows Duology Book 1) Page 19