by Hazel Keys
“Mm-mm, take my picture again, Caleb,” she pleaded, both of us moving our hips so we began fucking slowly. “Keep taking my picture all night.”
*****
Paige had distracted me from my thoughts and continued to do so but, as the small hours of the morning ticked around, I lay awake thinking. Paige slept soundly next to me in the cot, but I couldn’t stop trying to figure out what to do. If I was in love with her, I needed to end things with Helena. I needed to come clean and be honest. I owed her at least that much.We’d always treated each other with the greatest respect.
Only, what if this was just an infatuation? What if Paige didn’t feel the same way? What if she didn’t need the pressure of becoming my full-time lover and muse? What if the inspiration from her dried up? I lay awake until dawn trying to figure it out.
Eventually, I needed to go home. I slipped out of bed and went down to a coffee shop on the corner to bring us back some breakfast. Paige was awake by the time I got back.
“Hey,” she smiled as I walked back in. “Thank you,” she added as I handed her a coffee.
“I got some muffins, too, and some doughnuts,” I told her, laying them on the floor by the cot.
“I thought you’d disappeared home,” she told me, sitting up a little. The sheet slipped off her breast, exposing her perfect pink nipple to me and I felt a tingle in my pants, despite a number of times we’d made love the previous night.
“I do need to go soon,” I told her. “I need to get ready for today’s classes. But I meant it when I said you could stay here for as long as you want. If you can stand it.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said.
“I can run you back to your place quickly if you need to pick up some things.”
“Thanks, but it’s actually only about five blocks toward the river. I can manage.”
It may have been me, but this felt a little awkward. Considering the intimacy we’d shared so recently, I had no idea why. “Are you okay?” I asked her, the way guys always ask girls when they know they’re not.
“I’m fine,” she replied, the way girls always do when they’re far from it.
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you in class this afternoon,” I smiled. I leaned in and we kissed. It blossomed and grew, as we fed at each other and melted together, and I knew there was something there. It was so tempting just to slid back into bed with her and continue where we’d left off, but I manage to summon the reserve to break off the kiss and get up, saying goodbye as I sped for the door.
Chapter 11:Paige
Please, say it wasn’t so.
I’d never had I night like it. The blissful ecstasy Caleb brought me to over and over. And each time, after both of us seemed utterly exhausted and numb, it would be only moments before we were aroused and ready to go again. I couldn’t get enough of him but, as I woke to find him gone in the morning, my heart sank.
Had he gone back to his wife already? We’d had our fun, made some art, but did his ‘no feelings allowed’ rule have him rushing back to where his heart truly lay, leaving me feeling lost and insecure again. I felt a sudden surge of excitement as he came back into the studio. Maybe he’d decided I was the one after all? It was childish to think one night of sex with this older, far more experienced and pretty jaded guy could be enough to get him to develop actual feelings for me, but I could hope.
I wanted him so badly. I wanted to be with him, wanted to inspire him, wanted to hear him telling me how amazing I looked as he took my picture, like I’d never wanted anything before. I was desperate just to be near him. I’d never felt like this with Adam. I was more excited about the next time I’d get to touch Caleb’s hand than I’d been about my entire wedding with Adam. Was that what actual love felt like?
Caleb brought me coffee and breakfast, which was so sweet, but he seemed in such a hurry to go I soon realized where we were. I knew I could be his muse but I wasn’t likely to replace his wife anytime soon. The conversation was awkward. When he leaned in to kiss me, I felt that spark again. That connection we’d had the night before and in a thousand of my fantasies. The kiss deepened and I felt my tired loins reawaken and open for him. I wanted him again. If he was going back to his wife I wanted him inside me at least one more time and, I thought, he felt the same.
He got up, though. He broke off our kiss and stood, smiling as he said goodbye. I lay back in the cot as I heard his footsteps going down the stairs and I wondered. Could I do this? Could I continue an affair with a guy I knew was never going to love me, despite what I felt for him? I didn’t think I could. It would be just the same as it had been with Adam, only switched about.
*****
It was crazy how close the studio was to my apartment. The weird thing was, it took longer to drive between the two places than it did to walk. Striding through the back alleys I thought about what I might find back at home. Had Adam and Stacy embarked on a nonstop sex marathon the moment I was out of the door? Had they just been waiting for me to be out of the way so they could get on with humping each other’s brains out? I didn’t know. I didn’t much care, either. Maybe it was the sex-filled night I’d just enjoyed, but I wasn’t nearly as hung up on the whole thing as I had been.
It was all bravado, though. As soon as I climbed the stairs behind the bar, my hands began shaking and my legs turned to jelly. I was sure I was going to walk in on them sleeping beside each other on the living room floor or, worse, up and fucking on the couch that Adam and I had never managed to break in. I opened the door as quiet as I could and crept in.
The place was ordered and clean. The only tell to the fight I’d had with Adam was the hole in the plaster on the living room wall. No naked bodies, no scattered underwear. So far, so good. I gently opened my former bedroom door and peered in. Adam was asleep in there, alone. I snuck in and went to my drawers, grabbing handfuls of clothes and stuffing them into my rucksack. I figured the more I picked up, the more chance I’d have to create a whole and complete outfit.
I headed to the bathroom to grab my makeup case and my toothbrush. I decided I could just buy anything I’d else I’d forgotten but desperately needed. I picked up a couple more things and turned to go, just as the bathroom door opened again.
Stacy looked up at me, her eyes bleary and unfocused, and offered a smile before, I guessed, the memories of the proceeding day caught up with her. She was dressed in another tight night shirt but, this time, with no panties.She suddenly tried to pull the cloth down to cover her nudity.
“Don’t worry, sweetie,” I offered, “I’ve seen in before. On Video. With my fiancé’s cock in it, actually.”
“Baby?” she tried. I just put my hand up and went to walk past her. “Paige?” she said next, blocking my way out. “Please?”
“Fuck you!” I snapped. “Do you really think I want to hear anything you’ve got to say? Now move, before I move you.”
We both appeared surprised at the furious and threatening tone in my voice but it was enough to get her out of my way. “I’m sorry, Paige,” she tried again, “I never meant for this to happen!”
“You just tripped and fell on his dick?” I yelled as I walked through the living room. “You know? Just save it,” I spat, talking over her as I opened the door. “I don’t even care anymore.”
I closed the door behind me and ran back down to ground level, then headed back to the studios as fast as I could.
*****
After I’d lazed around at the studio for a couple of hours, showered and got myself ready, I realized I had to head back to the campus whether I felt like taking Caleb’s lecture or not. My car was still in the student parking lot. I had to Uber it over there as I couldn’t get ahold of any friends or classmates that weren’t at school already.
On the ride over, I had a long hard think. I was kidding myself, I decided. It was like I was still living in my fantasies, thinking I could strike out on this wild, erotic affair with the dangerous artist who made me feel so sexy. I was sure that only wor
ked out in books and movies. And he wasn’t going to allow himself to feel anything for me, so I couldn’t let myself fall for him.
Also, if by chance he did choose to be with me, I figured that this might only work if we adopted the same set of relationship rules that he and his wife had. It sounded like it could be an adventure, an open, free-love arrangement. But, in the long run, I knew I wouldn’t be able to accept him sleeping with other girls, no matter how honest we were about it. And I knew I just wouldn’t be able to cheat on him, allowed or otherwise. I was loyal, when all was said and done. If Adam and I hadn’t been having such problems, Caleb would never have turned my head in the first place. I certainly wouldn’t have slept with him so soon after discovering Adam’s infidelity.
That was just the effect Caleb had on me.
It felt like there was no time like the present to deal with this, so I headed over to take Caleb’s class. I was a little late so I slipped discretely in and sat at the back, right up at the top, a few seats down from a couple of overweight stoner dudes who clearly only took the class for a chance to see some naked girly-pics.
I tried to focus on what he was saying, as he ran through a batch of pictures by his contemporaries, but all I could hear was that honey-sweet voice of his as it stirred up confusing sensations inside me, tricking my brain into feeling as though his hands were on me, gliding along my skin. My eyes closed and a hushed sigh left my lips as my nipples stiffened inside my bra and I could feel my clit throbbing, threatening to drag me down the stairs of the auditorium and onto him.
I shook my head to bring myself back and pushed those thoughts away. I had to talk to him, as soon as possible.
The class ended and the student body filed out. I took a deep breath and started down the steps.
Chapter 12:Caleb
“I spotted you,” I told her, as I looked up and smiled to see her descending toward me, “sneaking in when you thought I wouldn’t notice.
“I kinda figured you would,” she said, taking the last few steps and crossing the floor to reach me. Standing before her, being this close again, I just wanted to strip her clothes off and devour her. That wild hair, that body, those full, kissable lips. I wanted her bad but we settled for a chaste kiss on the cheek.
“We need to talk,” we both said at the same time, then chuckled lightly.
“Ladies first,” I grinned at her, parking my butt on the desk. This was it. One way or another, she was about to decide where we went from here. I didn’t want to push her if she couldn’t handle it, so I’d promised myself I’d abide by whatever she decided.
“Caleb, last night was… out of this world,” sheoffered with a coy smile. I felt my heart flutter to hear her say that. “But, you have a wife and I don’t think I can be part of your modern understanding. Nor do I want to be the one who breaks up a successful marriage.”
“I get you,” I kept my smile in place but I couldn’t help the sudden feeling of emptiness that opened up in my chest. If this was how she felt, I’d accept it. I suddenly realized, though, beyond the pictures and the inspiration, it was going to take me a long, long time to stop thinking about Paige Patterson. “Plus, you’re my student. What we did last night could get me fired.”
She looked at me, her eyes suddenly filled with sadness. “Thank you, though,” she managed, “for being there for me. I understand if you want me to find somewhere else to stay.”
I waved away the comment. “It’s fine. Stay at the studio as long as you need. I’ll probably never even use it. You’ll still come to class, won’t you?”
“I guess. I only have this last term before I graduate, anyway. I don’t need an incomplete.”
“I never went to college but I understood that if you slept with your professor, didn’t that guarantee you a passing grade?”
We both chuckled awkwardly. There didn’t seem to be much more we had to say, so Paige smiled at me. A rare, pure, and beautiful smile, then she turned and strode out.
Maybe it was crazy to have all these emotions about a girl I hardly knew. I just felt such a connection. From the instant I saw her and took that first picture, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. Or caring. I cared about her. That was what made this girl different.
Chapter 13:Paige
The drive back to the studio was tough. I didn’t understand why I was so broken up over a guy I barely knew, but I was shaking and finding it really hard to concentrate on the road. Had the last night really meant that much to me? Or was it all just based around the huge release of sexual frustration that I’d built up over the last few months? No, it wasn’t just that, it couldn’t be.
I was deeply attracted to him. And not just physically. He made me feel gorgeous and good about myself, plus he’d shown me a part of his true self and I wanted to see more. However, this made the most sense, to stop it before it started. As much as I craved finding out what was down the rabbit hole, I had a feeling it couldn’t lead anywhere good.
Back at the studio, I was watching TV and thinking about Adam. What would my life be like without him in it? What was I going to tell my parents? I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of them, but that’s what I felt like. How could I not have seen this? There were two hot young girls surrounding him almost all day, every day, and he wasn’t fucking me? He had to be fucking her. Stacy was so sexy, and a stripper. She knew how to tease. How could he have resisted her?
And how could she have done this to me? I thought we were best friends, closer than sisters. I knew she was lonely. But she was also the type of girl to never seem down. I figured it was just her way. Part of her act. She spent so much time showing that amazing confidence and could-give-a-fuck attitude when she danced and when she dealt with guys, it was only a matter of time before it seeped into her soul. I guessed instead of appearing weak and coming to me for comfort, she turned to my fiancé.
Well, whatever the excuses, it didn’t make stealing my man okay. And then I began to wonder if I’d been too hard on Adam. He was, after all, just a man. They’re programmed to respond like infants whenever a sexy girl takes an interest in them. It’s in their DNA. I always thought he was better than that. Maybe I’d just forgotten that he was the same species, at the end of the day.
My phone rang, startling me out of the trance I’d fallen into. I checked the ID and, surprisingly, it was Adam. I supposed one of our mutual friends had got in touch, wondering why I’d needed a ride to school. It was so weird that he was calling me at that moment, though, just when I was thinking so deeply about him.
I acknowledged to myself that I was probably prepared to forgive him. I wasn’t totally over being pissed at him, though. “What?” I spat as I answered.
“Paige, baby,” he began. My mind instantly shot back to meeting Stacy that morning and her calling me baby. That wasn’t what he wanted to be reminding me about at that moment.
“Don’t ‘baby’ me, asshole,” I shouted. “Just tell me what you want.”
“I want you to forgive me,” he said, upfront and outright. It kinda took the wind out of my sails. I expected him to be all defensive and full of excuses.
“Adam…” I began, my voice suddenly a lot softer, “I don’t know if I can.”
“Please,” he said, his voice equally as soft, “I’m so sorry. I don’t have any justifications or explanations for you. I love you and I fucked up. I don’t expect you to let me but, if you can, I hope you might be able to find a way to see if we can move past this.”
This was astonishing. It was exactly what I needed to hear. He wasn’t coming at me and making this all about him. He wasn’t giving me reasons why I shouldn’t be surprised that he cheated. HE was taking the blame and being sorry. “Adam, I just found out yesterday,” I protested, “I don’t know if I can go straight back to being with you so quickly…”
“I know,” he cut me off urgently, “I’m just begging you to give me the chance. Give me one more chance and I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to
you.”
“I don’t know…” my heart leapedto hear him say those things. We had so much time invested in us and I loved him. I loved him so much, I had to forgive him.
“Please Paige,” he implored me, “just tell me where you are so I can come and see you. I need to talk to you in person.
I told him the address and he said he’d be there in moments.
*****
My pulse was racing and my mouth was dry as I heard him knocking on the door. I opened it to find him, handsome as ever, but wearing such a vulnerable expression on his face, his head hanging and his eyes almost brimming over with regret.
“Oh, Christ, Paige,” I could hear the tremble in his voice, “I’m just so sorry.”
I took a deep breath and tried to stay composed. “Just come in, will you? I don’t need the whole world knowing about this.”
He walked past me into the main studio.As he took in his surroundings, I couldn’t help noticing that he was standing on the very spot where I’d tried to ride Caleb into the ground, the previous night.
“Who’s place is this?” he asked me.
“Not that it matters, but it belongs to my photographic arts professor. It’s his studio.”
“And it’s okay for your photographic arts professor to put you up his students in his studio?”
He was starting to sound self-righteous and judgmental, neither of which was making me want to talk to him, let alone forgive him.
“I don’t think you’re in any position to be commenting on where I’m staying right now, do you?” I said. I sounded more tired than upset, I thought.
“Shit, you’re right,” he quickly changed his tone. “I’m sorry. I’m here to see if we have any chance of moving past this. Paige, I love you, do you think you can ever forgive me?”