by J. A. Owenby
I was too worn out to give him shit about bringing up Chloe’s name. It would most likely happen again. “I never knew how many meals a day I was going to have. Let’s just say during the school year, I could count on one most of the time. It stuck with me. I still never miss an opportunity to eat.” My mind flickered back to the memory of Chloe knocking my tray out of my hands. Layne had stepped in, breaking up a soon-to-be fight. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but he had been taking up for me. My eyes cut to him as he pulled into KFC. “Thank you.”
A frown line creased his forehead while he moved up to the order speaker. “For what?”
“The day Chloe knocked my food and tray out of my hands then grabbed my hair, you stopped her from doing anything else. I didn’t realize it then, but you actually took my side.”
Layne shrugged. “It wasn’t enough.” He turned his head and focused on the menu options. After he ordered for both of us, we waited in line.
“My purse is in the bag. Just grab some cash for my food. I can’t quite reach it without pulling at my stitches.”
“I’ve got it.” Layne lifted his ass cheek off the seat and produced his wallet from his back pocket.
“No. I don’t want you paying for my food. Really.”
“I didn’t ask what you wanted.” He smirked and pulled forward. “Oh, before I forget, give me Marilyn’s phone.”
“Wow, I say thank you, and all of a sudden you’re seriously bossy.” I wrinkled my nose in distaste.
Layne responded with a big laugh and held out his hand.
I huffed and gave him the phone. Then I leaned forward, watching him. “What are you doing?”
“Here’s my number. Call or text day or night.”
My eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. Although we had bonded a little bit over the attack, I wasn’t some weepy, vulnerable girl he could sweet-talk just to get into my pants. If he thought that, he had another think coming.
“Tensley.” His voice was low, and I nearly shivered from the goosebumps that pebbled my skin. “You’re going to need rides to get to school and to go see Benji. I’m sure Avery has a full schedule, so I’d like to help. Plus, the nights …” His words trailed off. “The nights are the hardest.”
Holy shit. He sounded as though he were speaking from experience, which made me wonder what he wasn’t telling me.
He moved forward to the window, paid for the items, and handed the food to me. I held the bag open and took a deep whiff, secretly letting him off the hook from dishing details about his difficult evenings.
I licked my lips in anticipation. “Yummy. Fried goodness.”
A broad smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. “Now that I know food makes you smile, which is breathtaking by the way, I’ll never show up at your door empty-handed.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded. No one had ever called my smile breathtaking.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, trying to hide the red flush creeping up my neck and face.
Layne flipped on the radio, and the soft bass of “Bad for You” by Billy Raffoul filled the car.
“Love him!” I nearly squealed. “And his hair.” I wiggled my eyebrows, attempting to bring some humor to the ride home. God knew we all needed to laugh. Usually, making everyone laugh was Benji’s job, but I’d officially been passed the baton. I could cry at night when I was alone, but when others were around, I vowed I would make Benji proud.
Layne’s chuckle filled the car, and my heart lightened for a moment. I sang while he drove, beating my fingers on the dashboard and pretending I was playing my drums.
“The first time I saw you in Washington was at the bar. I was shocked when you stepped up and performed. It was amazing. The paint flew in every direction, and you were covered. I’ve never seen anything like it. I wanted to talk to you then, but I chickened out. I knew you thought I’d helped Chloe.”
A lump formed in my throat. I hoped she wouldn’t be in our conversations often. Just the mention of her name brought flashbacks with it. Although I’d not sought therapy, I’d officially been diagnosed with PTSD by my doctor in Spokane. I had been familiar with the term, but people weren’t kidding. PTSD could sneak up on someone without any warning, and within seconds, they were no longer in reality. The memories would get so vivid, it was as if I were living the nightmare all over again.
“Is Chloe in Arkansas?” My insides quivered as I waited for an answer that I desperately needed to know. At the same time, I was terrified to hear.
Layne glanced out the side window and cleared his throat. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore. I promise.”
I nodded, chewing on my lip. Deep in thought, I processed everything he’d said and done since the night of the attack.
“I believe you.” I stared at him, taking in all the shit that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe it was because of the pain pills or the fact that my body had gone through surgery, but something had shifted inside me. That didn’t mean I trusted Layne a hundred percent, but I was willing to get to know him. Besides, I’d finally realized I’d had it wrong. Yeah, he’d done some mean shit to me in high school, but even Layne had admitted it wasn’t the right way to treat someone, and he’d been a stupid, hormonal guy. Now if he popped my pubic bone with a glass bottle, his face would meet my fist. I almost chuckled at the thought. But when he’d told me he’d broken up with Chloe over what she’d done, I realized I hadn’t had all the facts.
“What you’ve done for Benji and me … I believe you. I think you’re a decent human. And … I forgive you.” My voice barely hovered above a whisper. I cleared my throat as he pulled into the driveway behind Avery. She’d passed us on Division, which worked since Layne could follow her.
Layne turned off the car, released his seat belt, and faced me. My breath stuttered. Maybe he thought I’d said something else. His intense gaze swept over me. “You have no idea what that means to me.” With that, he hopped out and hurried to my side to open the door. He extended both hands toward me. When I placed mine in his, electricity zinged through my body, and like a dumbass, I gasped.
A frown furrowed his brow. “You okay?”
“Yup. I just got shocked,” I lied. Well, it was close to the truth. But holy shit, I’d never experienced anything like it. It felt as if I were ready to melt right out of my panties with a simple touch.
Layne gently helped me out of the car, and I leaned against him while I found my footing. My focus traveled up his chest and neck, then lingered on his mouth before our eyes locked.
He held me steady while my pulse spiked from his close proximity. Layne pulled me in for a gentle hug. “Thank you, Ten. Sometimes forgiveness is only a whisper of a wish and never a reality.”
A light, woodsy scent engaged my senses, and I swayed slightly. I wondered if it was his cologne or bodywash from the day before.
“Sorry. The medicine makes me dizzy.” It was the best excuse I had.
“I’ve got you.” His deep and husky voice elicited a new tingling sensation throughout my body.
“Layne?” Avery pointed at him, then to her eyes. “I’m watching you.” She cocked her eyebrow to emphasize her words. “Can you manage to get her inside? If so, I’ll unlock the door.”
Layne’s hold on me loosened. “Is she always like this?” he asked.
“Mm, yes, but you’re getting an extra dose because she knows you terrorized me in high school.”
Layne’s lips pursed. “Got it. At least I understand why.” The next thing I knew, he’d scooped me up into his arms, crouched down, grabbed the bag of food from my car seat, and hauled me into the house.
Good God. Southern charm wasn’t dead, and I was about to swoon right there. He placed me on the couch, and his attention drifted over me. “I didn’t hurt you, did I? I didn’t want to take any chances of you falling and popping your stitches.”
I stared at him stupidly, unable to articulate any words for at least twenty seconds. “I’m good,” I croaked. My stomach gr
owled in protest. “The kitchen is that way.” I pointed him in the right direction, knowing full well Avery was in there, and I imagined she was waiting for him. She’d been sharpening her claws since she’d first seen him in my hospital room.
Carefully, I scooted down to the end of the couch and listened. I would give anything to hear the conversation, but I couldn’t even catch one word. Avery was fierce if she thought someone was messing with me. If she even suspected he wasn’t for real, she would remove his balls and hand them to him before he realized what was happening. I covered my mouth, hiding my snicker. Benji and Avery were definitely the best friends in the world.
9
Nearly five weeks had passed since the attack, and the beginning of November arrived along with the rain. I’d had multiple phone conversations with Benji, but he wouldn’t let me visit him at home yet. I begged and pleaded, but he held his ground. My heart snapped in two every time we hung up. A blanket of depression settled over me every night, but instead of fighting it, I allowed it to consume me. I grieved hard. And in the morning, Benji was my reason for getting up and moving forward every day.
He had given me permission to use his room and sleep in his bed. I held my Minion pillow against me, wishing it were him instead. We’d shared a bed all the time anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal for me to sleep in his room, but I’d wanted to make sure it was okay with him first. It was a small piece of comfort, and I would hold on to it for as long as I could.
Layne had visited several times and had chauffeured me around over the last month. I’d seen him every day for at least a few hours. Our conversations had bounced from the attack to high school and college. When he’d asked about my parents, I’d redirected the conversation. He’d taken the hint and hadn’t brought them up again.
Avery had lightened up on him a little bit, too, but I knew she was watching him. So was I. But every time I took a step back, I only saw kindness and compassion from him, and in my heart, I believed he was doing everything he could to make things right between us. More importantly, he held true to his word and never showed up at my door without food for Avery and me. Even though it seemed my heart was healing from our high school days, I was fully aware I wasn’t the only demon in Layne’s past. Flickers of grief and regret danced across his face when he thought no one was looking. But I was, and I suspected that whatever he was running from cut him to his very core.
I woke up to a soft pattering against my window. One of the few things I missed in Arkansas was the ongoing days of rain. Although it rained in Spokane, it was usually only for a few hours. If I could, I would run outside and listen for the thunder, inhale the aroma of the fresh water, and allow myself to get lost in the moment while the grass and flowers soaked up every drop. It energized me.
“Hey,” Avery said, knocking on Benji’s door. “How ya feeling?”
“Fine.” I turned away from the window and smiled. “I’m cleared for duty, ma’am. Doc said I’m good to go.” I saluted her and smirked. I grabbed my new phone off the bed and tucked it in the back pocket of my jeans. Marilyn had dropped it off last week, and I was surprised at how happy I was to have it. I’d excused myself and deleted all the calls and texts I’d had with Benji and Layne before I returned her phone. There wasn’t anything inappropriate, but it made me feel better.
Avery leaned against the doorframe, watching me. “Plans tonight with Layne?”
“Nope. He’s helping his uncle with whatever, and I need to spend some time at the library, catching up on classwork. What about you?”
Avery chewed on her thumbnail. Uh-oh. Something was up.
“I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I was wondering how you’d feel if Justin moved in and shared the expenses.”
She might as well have slapped me. “What’s the rush?” My tone was clipped, and she knew she’d approached the topic too fast. “Marilyn and Michael have offered to pay our rent through the school year so we could focus on work and studies.”
“I want him here,” she replied softly. “I love him, and we want to live together. No matter how much I wish I could turn back time, Benji isn’t coming back, hon. If we can get a new roomie, then it relieves Benji’s parents of the financial responsibility too. I mean, I know they have a lot of money, but I want to do the right thing for everyone. It sucks, and I’m sorry.”
Her words churned in my stomach like curdled milk. “I’m fucking well aware of that, but it doesn’t mean we have to rent out his room within a matter of weeks like he doesn’t mean anything to us!”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s not what I meant. You’ve got to move on. He’s not coming back.”
Move on? Move on from the night my best friend lost his life as he’d always known it?
I stormed past her, anger pouring out of me. She needed to stay the fuck away. I snatched up my backpack near the front door, hefted it up onto my shoulder, and marched outside with no damned coat. I whirled around, burst back into the living room, and grabbed the necessary items to help me fend off the winter air and rain. Then I hoofed it to school, swearing under my breath the entire way, but the best thing for me at the moment was a long walk to help me calm down.
The day crept by slower than … hell, I didn’t even know what. My anger had continued to simmer over Avery’s suggestion that Justin move in. I assumed they would want Benji’s room, and possibly mine to store his belongings in. That would force me into the second largest one, and my rent would increase. Even though I had some time to save, I couldn’t afford the additional cost.
I glanced at my iPhone and saw that it was almost five. The sun had descended an hour ago. I reluctantly closed my English lit book, ran my hands through my hair, and groaned quietly. There was no way I could hide from Avery for long. My stomach growled in agreement.
I slipped my coat on, then stuffed my belongings in my backpack. I used it for a few bicep curls then tossed it over one shoulder. My strength was back to normal after my surgery. Depending on other people had sucked. It wasn’t my thing. I’d taken care of myself for years.
I descended the stairs of the library and meandered through the main floor. A feeling of dread tugged at me. I didn’t want to talk to Avery about the roommate situation yet. I needed some time. I needed to be able to see Benji before I gave up his room. At the moment, it seemed that was all I had left of him to hold on to.
I pushed on the front door and stepped outside into the darkness. Shit. A chill crept up my spine as I recalled the attack. I hadn’t been out at night alone since then. My mind immediately relived the feel of the man’s hand clamped over my mouth. I squeezed my eyes closed, then swallowed the fear down. I’d never been afraid of the dark before, and I would be damned if I was going to lose something else I loved. I’d cherished the night hours since I was old enough to slip out the window without being detected.
I identified the streetlights along the sidewalk and turned toward home. I glanced over my shoulder at the library, which grew smaller and smaller. With each step, my anxiety continued to climb. I needed to call an Uber. There was no way I would make it to the house in such a state. I hustled back to a large oak tree near a light and took cover. The rain had started again, and I hurried to order my ride. A flash of lightning illuminated the sky, blinding me temporarily, and a downpour followed it. Shit. I would be soaked in no time. I swore and glanced at my phone. I had another five minutes before my ride showed up.
A loud wail broke through the sound of the pouring rain, and I froze. What the hell? Another less intense flash of lightning lit up the sky, allowing me to see a hundred yards in front of me. My eyes popped open. Someone was standing there in the pouring rain. Are they hurt? Fuck it. I slipped my arms through the straps of my backpack and hauled ass in the person’s direction. An agonizing cry filled my ears as I grew closer.
“Hey, hey,” I said, approaching from the side. My sneakers squished through puddles of water with every step. I dropped my heavy backpack, allowing it to fall
to the saturated ground. Squinting through the rain, I was finally able to identify a man with a bottle in his hand. He’d sunk to his knees, opened his arms, and the most broken and painful cries ripped from his throat. His agony speared me.
“Sir?” I asked, approaching cautiously, but he didn’t acknowledge me. Another wail rang into the night, and as I walked in front of him, my heart splintered. I’d never been touched by such raw and deep emotion, and it was shaking me to the depths of my being.
The man crumpled in on himself, sobbing. I had to do something. He needed help. I reached out and tapped his shoulder then jumped back. His head snapped up. Streams of water poured down his cheeks, and his eyes were full of anguish as they landed on me. My brain recognized Layne, but he wasn’t himself. Not even close. This wasn’t the man who I’d spent so much time with over the last few weeks.
“You’re here.” His voice was ragged from his cries.
I spotted my chance. “I’m here. Take my hand.” I held it out to him, shivering from his emotional overload.
Layne dropped the bottle placed a palm on the ground, and staggered to an upright standing position. “You’re here.” He swept his drenched hair off his forehead and pinned me with the most intense gaze I’d ever seen. I wasn’t sure if I should be afraid, but it was apparent he needed someone.
In two long strides, he closed the gap between us. His breath didn’t reek as much as I’d anticipated, which made me think he was drinking vodka.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” His hand gently caressed my cheek while the other one slipped around my waist, and he pulled me flush against him. To my surprise, the length of him pressed through his jeans and into my stomach.