The Big D

by Brittany Crowley

  Table of Contents

  PROLOGUE

  EPILOGUE

  AND THE BIG D TOOK IT HOME

  MY LOINS ARE QUIVERING

  DO YOU HAVE A MAN AGNES?

  I DON’T STAND A FREAKING CHANCE

  BOOM, RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

  GATOR BOOTS?

  I COULD BE AN AXE MURDERER

  BYE, FELICIA

  TITTY TWISTER

  GRANT DONOVAN’S NEW LADY

  I’LL STUPEFY YOUR ASS

  SHHH, DON’T TELL HIM

  I’M YOUR WHAT?

  WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING AGGIE?

  POWER TOOLS

  DAMN YOU’RE A CUTE DRUNK

  THE WIND BLEW US HARD

  WHO ORDERS A MANHATTAN?

  THE RACOONS ARE BACK!

  I’M ALLERGIC TO DOGS

  THIS IS ILLEGAL!

  YOU’RE A HOOT AND THEY WILL LOVE YOU

  CAN’T I JUST LOCK YOU IN THE BASEMENT…

  WHO WANTS A BIDET?

  DON’T MAKE THIS AWKWARD

  WE WOULD HAVE BEEN LEGENDARY

  SHOULDN’T THAT BE PLURAL?

  I’M OKAY

  TELL ME

  IT’S A PIECE OF CAKE

  DOES THAT INCLUDE ANAL?

  The Big D

  BRITTANY CROWLEY

  Copyright

  THE BIG D

  Copyright © 2017 Brittany Crowley

  All rights reserved

  Cover design and promotional items

  Lisa Reads at BTP Designs

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means including electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without permission of the author, except for brief quotations of the book when writing a review.

  The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with or sponsored by the trademark owner.

  Dedication

  This book can only be dedicated to one person and that’s my best friend SAC. She’s been there every step of the way since Caged was released and was a huge part in making my books what they’ve become. She literally read The Big D a thousand times out of order before reading it again… and again. Thanks so much for putting up with me and being my #1 Fangirl!

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  PROLOGUE

  AND THE BIG D TOOK IT HOME

  MY LOINS ARE QUIVERING

  DO YOU HAVE A MAN AGNES?

  I DON’T STAND A FREAKING CHANCE

  BOOM, RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

  GATOR BOOTS?

  I COULD BE AN AXE MURDERER

  BYE, FELICIA

  TITTY TWISTER

  GRANT DONOVAN’S NEW LADY

  I’LL STUPEFY YOUR ASS

  SHHH, DON’T TELL HIM

  I’M YOUR WHAT?

  WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING AGGIE?

  POWER TOOLS

  DAMN YOU’RE A CUTE DRUNK

  THE WIND BLEW US HARD

  WHO ORDERS A MANHATTAN?

  THE RACOONS ARE BACK!

  I’M ALLERGIC TO DOGS

  THIS IS ILLEGAL!

  YOU’RE A HOOT AND THEY WILL LOVE YOU

  CAN’T I JUST LOCK YOU IN THE BASEMENT…

  WHO WANTS A BIDET?

  DON’T MAKE THIS AWKWARD

  WE WOULD HAVE BEEN LEGENDARY

  SHOULDN’T THAT BE PLURAL?

  I’M OKAY

  TELL ME

  IT’S A PIECE OF CAKE

  DOES THAT INCLUDE ANAL?

  EPILOGUE

  PROLOGUE

  “Sweetie, you have a twig in your hair.”

  “Excuse me?”

  My grandmother fully turns in her recliner and looks at me with amusement written all over her face.

  “A piece of debris from one of those things that grow in the backyard is in your hair. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s from the maple out near the fence.”

  I quickly find the little menace in my brown locks, pull it out and throw it behind the couch. My face is flaming because she’s right. But there’s no way she knows what was going on just a short ten minutes ago.

  “Smooth Aggie. Back in the day we preferred the back seat of a car over getting it on with ants in our ass cracks, but that’s none of my business.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “Agnes Fletcher, I wasn’t born yesterday. And even if I was, the fact that you’ve made us order from the same place the last six weeks would be a dead giveaway. And furthermore, do you think you’re being inconspicuous when you disappear for 20 minutes after the delivery boy, the very attractive delivery boy, brings us our food? It doesn’t take anyone that long to tip. Well, not the normal kind.”

  “Um…” I can’t talk about this with my grandmother. Mostly I should be ashamed that I’ve been using our weekly visits to hook up with the sexy as hell delivery guy in the backyard. Spending our quality bonding time being pressed up against a tree, or hell, just lying in the grass getting plowed by a guy that makes a living off tips. I should be, but I’m not.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just…”

  “Sweetie, I don’t mind. I just don’t want you to think I’m stupid. Plus, I’d like grandkids at some point this century.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Keep telling yourself that sweetie. I see the way that young man looks at you.”

  Denial is my game. Denying the fact that I’ve started feeling something in our brief encounter over the last six weeks. Every time I tell myself I’m being ridiculous and need to stop acting like a love-sick teenager, I just… can’t. There’s something that I can’t quite put my finger on. And we’ve barely uttered a word to each other outside the heat of the moment.

  The Big D, as I like to call him, comes every time. And I mean every time, usually after me of course. He’s a giver.

  But it’s more than that. At least for me.

  All we’ve ever had is our twenty minutes after he delivers the food. I don’t even know his name!

  I bet you’re wondering how this all went down. How I found myself with my hands wrist deep in a flower box as my mystery man slowly entered me from behind next to my Mimi’s back deck.

  It was one look. One look from his magnificent brown eyes that had me chasing him down to bring him a “tip”. Little did I know I’d be getting his.

  AND THE BIG D TOOK IT HOME

  Six Weeks Ago…

  “Big tits.”

  “Um… I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t air that on television.”

  “They should, it’d sure liven up the show. How many times can an answer be Gone with The Wind or Oprah?”

  I laugh to myself. Every Friday I come over to my grandmother’s and watch Wheel of Fortune with her. She has a thing for Pat Sajak and has always said he looks just like my grandpa. I’ve never met him because he died before I was born, but from looking at the pictures I think he’s more a solid Ted Danson.

  “Want a refill on your drink? I’m gonna run and grab a soda.”

  “Yes, please and thank you.”

  I grab her glass while shaking my head. She’s gotta have her highball while she watches her show. There’s a knock on the front door as I’m walking by it which causes me to change my direction.

  “I’ve got it sweetie, you hurry up and fill our drinks. You need to get back and see the answer. I’m gonna make you eat your words.” With a smile, she gets o
ff her recliner and heads for the front door. She lives in a quaint Cape style house and the front door is in the living room. Easy enough when you don’t want to miss your favorite show when the food delivery shows up in the middle of it.

  “Hello Ma’am.”

  That voice makes me halt when I get to the kitchen. It mustn’t be the pimple faced teen we’re used to that sounds like he’s still going through puberty. This is a man, a gorgeous one if I had to guess from the timbre of his voice.

  “Oh, hodge podge, call me Leslie.”

  Poor guy hit a nerve. She hates any reference that makes her sound old. Hence, why I call her Mimi over the ever-popular nana or grandma.

  I quickly fill our glasses and head back to the living room. When I round the corner and walk through the opening that leads to the living room, I clock the delivery boy.

  Definitely not a boy, oh no, he’s all man. He’s looking down making change, but when he looks up his eyes zero in on me. I momentarily lose my breath and almost drop the drinks in my hand.

  Our eyes stay connected as he hands my grandmother her change and is oblivious to her huffing and puffing over him handing her a wad of ones in the wrong direction. She used to work at a bank and is very meticulous with her money. I’d say it’s more OCD.

  “Thank you dear. Have a great night.” With that she shuts the door in his face and takes the food to the couch.

  It’s like a punch to my gut thinking he’s just going to drive away. I know it’s insane because I haven’t said a word to him, so I need to rectify that and do the only thing I can think of. “Hey Mimi, did you tip him? I think you forgot.”

  As she’s saying she gave him a whopper of a tip I’m already out the door running down the driveway.

  “Excuse me!” I yell and thankfully he hasn’t made it to his car yet. He turns towards me and I nearly drop to the ground. His eyes are the most intense shade of chocolate, and I freaking love chocolate.

  In my hot pursuit to track him down I didn’t think about what to say once I stopped him. I’m standing there mouth open but nothing comes out. Jesus, I look like a fish out of water that forgot how to use the English language.

  He stands there staring at me and when his mouth hitches on one side my ovaries explode. The ol’ one-two punch to my reproductive organs lets me know I’m done for.

  “Um…” I reach into my pocket and pull out a dollar. Looking down I internally berate myself at my lack of preparedness. “Mimi forgot your tip.”

  “She actually gave me a large tip.” His smile gets larger showing his perfectly straight pearly whites as he places his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Jeans that mold the perfect form of his thighs and his… stop it Aggie!

  “Oh, my bad.” I go to turn around but his voice stops me.

  “What’s your name?”

  I slowly turn and meet his gaze. “Agnes.”

  “Anyone ever tell you that’s a grandma name?”

  “Everyone. That’s why my friends call me Aggie.”

  He looks over my body, mentally stripping me out of my clothes. It may sound conceited saying it, but it doesn’t happen to me much, so I can tell. And I like it a lot. Obviously, I have to do the same.

  His full lips, defined jaw and shaggy brown hair are mentally catalogued into my brain. He has a pair of shoulders that were meant for grabbing onto and his arms are well defined beneath his Henley. The sleeves are hiked up his forearms and I can see a hint of tattoo peeking out one sleeve.

  When I get to his waist, he groans. My eyes snap up and he looks at me knowingly. With no other words spoken, he walks up to me and grabs my hand before pulling me back up the driveway. I think he’s gonna bring me in the house, but we bypass it for the backyard. When we get to the tall wooden fence he pushes me up against it and traps me with his arms on either side of my head.

  “I’ve never done anything like this before.” I blurt out.

  That just causes his smile to grow all the way until it reaches his eyes. Then his mouth slams to mine and I can’t come up with a single thought to stop this. Because it’s crazy, right? Totally wacky. When his tongue enters my mouth, those thoughts hit the road and all I can think about is the taste of peppermint on his tongue.

  Did he spit out a mint on our walk up here? I feel like we could be on a commercial right now. Suck on one of these bad boys and you’ll have a girl shoving her tongue down your throat in no time!

  He pulls back and starts feathering light kisses down my neck then starts sucking on my collar bone.

  “Oh god. Who are you?” I groan.

  His hand wanders down my arm, inching lower until they get to the button of my jeans.

  “Stop.” I say breathily.

  He backs up and brings his hand to the back of his neck, trying to maintain his control.

  “It was a pleasure meeting you Aggie.” He looks like there’s an internal battle going on inside his head. When he goes to turn and leave I charge him. I jump up and wrap my arms around his neck, legs around his waist and fuse our lips together.

  He pushes me back against the fence. When his hips thrust into my center, I know I can’t turn back. Even if I wanted to, I can’t. It feels too good. Too right.

  “I just met you, and this is crazy…”

  I hear a slight chuckle from him and even my embarrassment over quoting a popular song in this moment sails away when his hands cup my ass.

  “We have to go out back, my grandmother might see us. Or to your car…” I breathily get out. It’s a feat let me tell you. When the sexiest guy you’ve ever seen in your whole life starts massaging your under boob, sane thoughts tend to get fuzzy.

  “My car’s too far.” He growls before flipping the latch on the gate and pushing me into the backyard. It’s pitch black and it freaks me out a bit. There could be a skunk or some other animal lurking around the corner.

  I don’t have time to dwell on it when my hands grip the wood slats of the deck as I’m pushed up against it. My hands reach back and lace through his hair. It’s long enough to get enough purchase. And I like it.

  With no hesitation, his hands go straight for my chest over my tank top. Then there’s a tear and my top falls away.

  “Holy crap that was hot.” I whisper before he pulls the cups of my bra down and starts tweaking my nipples.

  “You like that?”

  “Holy hell, talk to me some more.” I plead because his voice does crazy things to me.

  “Tell me to stop and I will. I can’t hold back anymore.”

  “Don’t stop. This is crazy town, but don’t stop!”

  In a second my pants are pulled down and I feel his cock probing me. Where the hell did he get the condom from, his ass? Whatever, he has it taken care of as he slowly pushes inside inch by slow inch. When his dick’s rooted deep inside me, my breathing becomes frantic.

  “God damnit!” I call out as my body adjusts to his size. He’s hands down the biggest that’s been inside me, not that I’m a whore. There’s only been a few. But damn!

  His first thrust makes my hands fly through the spindles of the deck and into a flower bed.

  “Please don’t be her peonies.” I pray.

  “Fuck, I’ll buy her new ones. You feel so good, baby.”

  His thrusts are unhurried like we have all the time in the world. My paranoia of being caught just a blip on my radar compared to what he’s doing to me. When his hand finds my clit it’s not even on the map.

  And the Big D took it home. Right there in my grandmother’s backyard with my hands deep in some soil.

  Panting from my orgasm, arms still in between the slats of the deck, Big D kisses the center of my spine and I hear the zipper of his jeans as he puts himself together.

  I turn around, hands filthy and top missing. But I smile, because wow!

  He returns my smile and walks back up to me, hands coming up on either side of my face. “You have no idea.” It’s a little confusing when he seems to be searching my face for something. But w
hat?

  My confusion makes his smile brighter and it makes my heart rate pick up. He plants one last kiss on my lips then slips out the back gate.

  For the first time ever, I had a freaking earth shattering hook up. It elicits a giggle from my lips.

  I straighten my clothes and realize my tank top is ripped to smithereens. Crap! I put it on backwards and tie the ripped part together. I’ll just have to keep my chest to Mimi at all times. This should easily give me anxiety, but with a smile on my face, I waltz back into the house with some pep in my step and a tingly feeling in my nether regions.

  Fridays rock!

  ***

  I just got home from Mimi’s and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face if I tried. Mostly, I couldn’t believe I just had a brief but satisfying hook up with a gorgeous delivery boy. He’d be completely out of my league if it weren’t for his profession. Not that it’s worse than mine.

  I’m a waitress part-time at Hence in the North End of Boston. Horrible name, right? It’s one of the most sought-after restaurants in the city and to get a reservation you need to offer up your left nut. No seriously, I think they have a jar in the back or something. I deal with a lot of people that think they’re better than me, some treat me like the gum on the bottom of their red bottomed shoes. Or of course, there’s the complete opposite. The old bastards that try copping a feel anytime they try to pull me in close to ask a question about the menu.

  But you roll with the punches and push forward. The tips are good and living in Boston doesn’t come cheap. I’ve gotta pay my bills somehow.

  Plus, I’ve only spit on someone’s meal once. But she totally deserved it. I think she was an actress or in one of those housewives shows. She called me out saying I was checking out her man. Her very ugly, yet wealthy, sugar daddy. Gag!

  Luckily, most of the customers are courteous enough. Or they know the cardinal rule when dining out, don’t mess with the people that make your food.

  My other job is pretty fantastic. I work at a trendy lingerie shop in the city, Lace of Desire. The big plus is I get a fantastic discount and gorgeous stuff before it hits the shelves. I’m a bit of a nightie hoarder.