by Abi Ketner
“I know. You were free, but your drunk ass came back.”
“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” he says.
I nod. “Cole, I’m sorry.” I sigh. “Thank you, Bill. But are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Bill the hero, remember?”
“Right. I’ll make you a medal.” I smile at him, and he smiles back, but it’s not his happy-Bill smile. It’s his broken smile, the kind that buries the pain just below the surface.
“I’ll have Gabe pass it on to Wilson that she’s on her way,” Genesis says. “He’s trustworthy, and he’ll help us from the inside once she’s there.”
“Assuming he can access her,” Bruno says. “He can barely get us information or updates on Sutton.”
The flurry of voices is enough to make my head spin. I close my eyes, the pain circulating throughout my nerves, and bite my lip so hard I taste blood. Cole’s hand grabs mine, and I can hear his desperation as he pleads with the others. But he’s been overruled, and he knows it.
“We’ll have to figure out how to transport her without worsening her condition,” James says.
I’m fading fast. All the excitement has worn me to the bone. I can’t face Cole. I have no energy to explain once again what he already knows. If I have a chance of surviving, however slim, this is it.
“All right, guys,” Bruno says. “Let’s prepare ourselves.”
“Holy crackers,” I mumble weakly. “This is going to suck.” After I hear their feet shuffle away from my room, I sense a presence still next to me. I open my eyes to see Cole, tears tracking down his face. He kisses my face, my lips, and my forehead.
He grips my hand. “I guess there’s nothing I can say to make you change your mind.”
“You’re the reason I’m doing this,” I reply in a soft voice. “For you and my dad.”
“Gotta use the dad card.” He laughs quickly, wiping away a tear. “But that’s why I love you. And as much as I want to strangle you right now, I’ll support you.” He sighs. “When I fought Keegan, and you stood against me, I was wrong. I admit that now. You deserve to make your own choices. And I’ll come for you as soon as we get word from Gabe that you’re okay.”
“I’m holding you to that,” I whisper.
“No one’s going to stop me.”
“I’d like to see them try.”
A cold breeze slips over my skin, causing me to shiver. Someone pulls a sheet up to my neck and tucks it in around my limbs.
The sweet smell of apple dumplings with cinnamon fills my nostrils, and I swear my mom’s calling me. I rush down the stairs in my tattered jeans and sweatshirt to the kitchen, where Mom pulls the dumplings out of the oven. The steam curls upward, and I inhale the mouthwatering aroma. If heaven had a scent, it would be apple cinnamon.
“Keegan, if you don’t get down here, I’m eating yours!” I shout. I run to the counter where Mom’s placing each of the dumplings on a plate.
“Each of you have your own,” she says, “don’t be greedy, sweetie.” But she knows I’m just trying to rile Keegan.
“Lexi, you touch it, and you’re getting a swirly!” he says as he comes into the kitchen. He puts me in a headlock and rubs my forehead with his knuckles.
“You’re disgusting,” I growl.
“All right, you two, that’s enough of the bickering,” Mom says. Keegan lets go of my head, and I punch him in the shoulder.
“I hope there’s one for me,” a voice calls from the front entrance. Immediately, Mom’s face lights up. She drops everything, and runs to the doorway, wrapping Dad in a tight hug. “Otherwise I’ll be giving you both a beating,” he says. He chuckles before Mom gives him a swift kiss.
“Oh, please, Dad. You never get angry,” I say. “And you’ve never hit us, so maybe you should try another kind of threat.”
“I’ll grab your dumpling,” Mom says to Dad, and when she turns, he gives me a wink.
“Lexi?”
Just like that, the memory’s gone.
When I open my heavy, burning eyes, everything returns: the plain, cement-cylinder room with the speckled ceiling, the tattered sheets with their faded stripes that make up my bed on the floor, and the smell of tepid water mixed with dirty feet. Through the window, white powder clouds my vision as it falls, softly and gracefully. A shiver runs up my arms, causing goosebumps to take over my skin.
“We’re all set,” Genesis says, her voice cutting through the quiet. “They’re coming to move you in an hour, and Bill will escort you to Wilson.”
“Wilson knows?”
“Yes. Gabe just returned.”
“What did he say?”
“Let’s just say he’s more than overjoyed.”
“Perfect,” I say with disgust. “Where’s everyone else?”
“They’ll be here soon to say goodbye. A few will help you on your journey until it’s no longer safe.” Genesis leans in, her hair falling around her face. “I’m not good at this goodbye shit. So, I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon,” I repeat, even as my stomach spasms in pain. I gasp until it passes, trying to push these words out in case I don’t have the chance again. “Oh, and Genesis, thank you. For everything.”
“You’re welcome.” She winks and shrugs, but from tone of her voice, I know it means more to her than she’s letting on.
The others enter my room, and after maneuvering me onto a gurney given so graciously by Wilson, they take turns wishing me luck.
James is first. He says goodbye quickly, his mind too focused on the task ahead to get emotional. I don’t mind, though. Saying goodbye to the others is enough to bring me to tears.
“It won’t be long ’til we get you back,” Bruno says. He gives me a gentle squeeze and kisses my hand like a gentleman, but I don’t miss the worry lines sprouting from the corners of his eyes. “Be strong, Miss Lexi. And live for Grace … for all of us. We’ll get you out. I promise.”
“I don’t doubt you, Bruno.” I squeeze his hand one more time. “Even though our skin doesn’t match, you’re my brother.”
He grins, gradually pulling away. “And you’re my sister,” he says. “You saved my ass. It’s time I return the favor.”
I laugh, even though it hurts so much. “Ouch,” I murmur, wrapping my arms around my stomach.
“My turn,” a voice from behind Bruno says. Bruno steps away, revealing Cole and Zeus. Zeus stands on his back legs to kiss my face.
“Hey, buddy, take care of Cole while I’m gone. I love you, crazy boy.” As I brush my fingers through the soft section of fur around his ears, I secretly wish I could take him with me. His presence has always had a calming effect on me, one that I could certainly use in the coming hours.
Then, all too soon, Cole makes him get down. I brace myself for this goodbye.
Cole leans over me, touching his forehead to mine. His eyes are glassy, and his Adam’s apple bobs. “I’m petrified, Lexi,” he says.
“Me too,” I admit. “I hate that we’ll be apart.”
He brushes my face with the back of his hand. “Not a second will go by that I won’t think about you, worry about you and miss you. But this I swear, no matter what they throw my way I’ll get to you, even if I gotta run through fire I’ll gladly burn for you.”
I smile. “No white knight?”
“No horse. Doesn’t quite fit the picture.”
“Zeus?”
Hearing his name, Zeus cocks his head to the right and whines.
“Yeah sure,” Cole says sarcastically.
“Once I got you back, I’m never letting you go,” Cole says, all seriousness. “Never.” He twists my ring around my finger in a gesture that’s so familiar and comforting I give him a weak smile. In a broken voice, he says, “You can overcome …”
“Anything short of death,” I finish for him in a voice as strong as I can manage. I grip his hand in my own, kissing it and willing my strength into him.
“And that’s exactly what you’re going to d
o.”
He forces himself away, Zeus dragging his feet not far behind, with his tail tucked between his legs. My throat’s swelling, and my breaths are unsteady. Watching Cole walk away, not knowing if I’ll ever see him again, is unbearable. It takes everything I have not to yell for him to come back. Not to leave. But I shove that thought aside and turn my thoughts to my father. Pulling strength from him, I look at the ceiling and say a quick prayer.
Bill is next to me in a flash. He raises an eyebrow at Cole, and when I follow his gaze, I see the new guns strapped to Cole, which I didn’t notice when saying goodbye. Bill smiles crookedly and hands me his bottle. Without a second thought, I take a swig, trying not to cough as the burning liquid rolls down my throat.
“To help calm your nerves,” he says, taking it back and tucking it into a coat I’ve never seen him wear before.
“Wait,” I say. “I need a gulp.”
“See? I knew it. You’re a lush.”
“Got me there,” I say. My eyes water with my next drink, and he cracks up.
“I call this particular one ‘courage potion.’” He takes a long swill and coughs. “I already downed a bottle.”
“I’d be concerned if you didn’t,” I say. “Just don’t drop me.”
Static charges the atmosphere as the loudspeakers groan. Monotonous elevator music comes on, followed by a loud squealing sound that gives way to his voice …
“Today marks a momentous achievement here in the Hole.”
Hearing his gleeful voice sends a shiver down my spine.
“After much fighting and interfering with the deliveries of the vaccines, Lexi Hamilton has been found and detained. A fellow Sinner is responsible, and for that, I say thank you. A celebration is in order. I will have my personal bodyguards deliver water and food to all who come to celebrate this afternoon, commencing at fourteen hundred hours.”
Wilson’s voice cuts off, and the loudspeakers go quiet. Bill puts both hands on the gurney and hums to himself. “Here we go, Lusty,” he says. “Ohhh, how bad I wanna shoot his ass.”
* * *
It feels silly to be rolling through the streets of the Hole strapped to a gurney. Then I think back to when we pushed that shopping cart through the Rainbow District with all the food, and realize it’s not so odd. After all, almost nothing taking place in the Hole is normal anymore. I’ve seen things much worse, but I’m not sure I’ve ever felt the physical effects as much as now. Every bump causes me excruciating pain. I clench my teeth together and, with a hiss, suffer through it while, above me, Bill hums a tune as if he’s pushing a baby stroller through the mall. I’d like to slap him.
“Lusty, eyes open,” he whispers. “They’re watching.”
Panic sprints through every nerve in my body, and my heart beats like a drum, almost making me change my mind. Almost. But when I glance around, as much as I can with my limited mobility, I don’t see anyone.
“More courage potion?” Bill asks quietly.
“I shouldn’t. I’m still bleeding.”
Above me, the sky’s slate gray, like Old Man Winter has finally decided to settle in for a while. The temperature’s bitter cold, so I’m glad when Bill tugs my blankets up farther. When I exhale, a trail of white steam coils outward. Around us, the buildings match the sky. Gray upon gray upon gray. The monotony is enough to make me want to give in to the darkness—but for the fact that I know where this journey ends. In Cole’s arms. If everything goes right.
As we travel closer to the Commander’s quarters, guards fall into place alongside us. Their feet stomp the hard ground in unison. Bill continues humming. I’d give anything to have Cole and Zeus with me now. But Genesis was right—it’s too high a risk. Just because Wilson wants me alive doesn’t mean he’d spare the others. Still, I can’t help missing the reassurance Cole’s presence always gives me. Even earlier, when he was in tears, he still possessed that strength, that endurance, that faith tested by fire. It gives me the determination to fight and live, because I know he needs me as much as I need him.
Pretty soon, six guards line each side of us. They don’t make eye contact with either of us as they march in their shiny black boots. Newly polished, from the looks of it. They hold their guns ready, as if waiting on others to challenge them, but I know it won’t happen. Most of the Sinners either believe Wilson’s announcement, or they’ve been warned to stay away by the rebels. Nobody in our camp wants to screw this up, for my sake.
The tall, menacing walls of the Hole come into view. On top, guards stand at attention, manning their stations. Interestingly, they face outward.
That’s odd.
The main gate is closed, with about thirty guards lined up across the top. They turn to salute their fellow guards and then return to their positions. It brings back the memories of Bill and Roméo trying to get the records out, their car blasting through the gate and then blowing up in the distance. I thought we hit rock bottom then, but compared to this moment, it seems tame.
“Halt!” a high-pitched voice commands.
Bill stops and straightens, his eyes focused on someone I can’t see. I try to sit up, but the pain is overbearing.
“Let me see her.”
The air shifts around me as the guards step back to allow someone through.
Wilson. His paunchy form has grown in size than when I saw him last. His jowls jiggle with each step he takes, but he still marches with arrogance. His face is skeptical until he gets closer, and then a thin smile appears on his lips. Terror rises in my chest and I push air our from between my lips to calm myself. He struts up to my side and peers at me through squinted eyes, apparently evaluating my face.
I stare straight ahead, not willing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the vulnerability in my eyes. It’s my own little way of rebelling.
“We’ve got her,” he announces. The guards cheer in unison, like robots with no individual minds, and Wilson leans into my line of sight. I can’t avoid seeing his smile. “It’s been a while, Lexi. Lots of people have suffered because of your stubbornness. I hope you’re proud of that.”
“Go to hell,” I say in a low voice.
“All in good time, I’m sure. But not in your lifetime, I’m afraid.” His hot breath and the smell of expensive cognac is on my face, and I feel spittle from his lips. He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him. Behind me, I hear Bill mutter under his breath. Annoyed, Wilson pulls his hand away and steps toward Bill, who towers over him.
“I assume you’re waiting to be granted your freedom,” Wilson says.
“Nah,” Bill says, “I actually like it here. It’s homey.”
Wilson gives him a quizzical look. “So what is it you want?”
“Just what you’re drinkin’,” Bill answers lazily. Damn, he’s good at pretending to be stupid. “A lifetime supply of alcohol will do me well.”
“Interesting request.” Wilson snaps his fingers. “Did you friend this girl?”
“I don’t do friends. I prefer to sulk alone.”
“Then enlighten me.” Wilson’s eyes narrow as he inspects Bill’s overgrown hair, mangy clothing, and missing teeth. I can only imagine what he thinks, although I’m betting it’s similar to what I thought when I first met Bill. “How did a drunk such as yourself manage to capture her? How did you get past her protectors? Or should I say traitors? And where are they?”
“Dead,” I snap. “They died trying to save me.”
Wilson’s gaze flicks in my direction, his face caught in a sneer. He pauses for what seems like eternity before responding, “How pathetic.” He turns back to Bill. “However, drunk man, you’ve failed to answer my question. How did you acquire her?”
“Found her bleeding like a leaky faucet, hiding out in my place,” Bill says. “Slut got blood stains all over my floor.” He sniffs. “Anyway, when I studied her face, it hit me. Ding, ding, ding. Wilson wants this girl. Then, oh shit, he wants her alive.” He gestures to me. “And since she’s dying at a RAPID speed, I grabbed
some dudes to help carry her. And here we are.” Bill hacks up a loogy and spits it on the ground next to Wilson’s perfectly polished black boots. If looks could kill, Bill would be dead. Unperturbed, he adds, “And the good news is, she hasn’t kicked the bucket yet.”
Oh, Bill.
“Bring me the cognac,” Wilson says, without flinching. Two of them scurry away to do his bidding.
Bill smiles and shuffles his feet unsteadily. Already, I see the disgust on Wilson’s face as he observes the Sinner who turned me in. When the two guards return, they pour two drinks into thick glasses and hand them both to Wilson.
“To you, my good man,” Wilson says, holding up his drink and handing one to Bill.
Bill clinks his cup against Wilson’s and downs the entire thing. Wilson gets in only one sip before his face turns appalled. Bill wipes his face and slurps up the bottom of his glass. “Got any more?” he asks.
Wilson takes Bill’s empty glass and hands it back to the guards. He smiles, an evil gleam in his eye. “Now, now, I’ve got a better idea …”
He pulls a small gun from his side and points it at Bill’s head.
I scream bloody murder.
Two things happen after I scream. First, I black out. I don’t know how long, but the agony rips through my abdomen like a chainsaw. Second, when I open my eyes, the noise is deafening. I go from a silent peace to eardrum-shattering reality. Bill lies on the ground next to my gurney, which has been shoved sideways. I don’t see any blood, but panic envelops me.
“BILL!” I scream, doing my best to keep the darkness from closing in again. He doesn’t answer, but his fingers flex. His eyes flutter. He’s not dead.
Thank God!
Wilson stands over Bill’s body, bleeding from his hand, but he’s too busy shooting at someone else to notice or stop it.
I can’t push myself up on my elbows. I have no leverage. I turn in the direction Wilson’s shooting, but my eyes aren’t focusing. I blink a few times to clear my head, but I can’t make out the figures as they come closer.