Alyssa, on the other hand, had thrown herself at Nick. She’d flirted, flashed her cleavage, and hung around in Greg’s Gym, pestering Nick while he ran on the treadmill. She’d even stooped to a new low—lounging around in a bikini to catch his attention. It was excruciating to watch. Not only was Alyssa blessed with perfect blond hair, perfect clear skin, and perfect perky boobs, but she’d effortlessly shed her excess pounds, revealing a gorgeous new physique.
Sure, she still had a tiny pooch around her stomach and a small amount of cellulite on her thighs, but overall she looked amazing. It didn’t seem to be paying off. Aside from a few friendly greetings, Nick hadn’t given her much of a response. But at least he was talking to Alyssa.
“I thought we were going to be friends?” I told Luisa later that day as we chopped pineapple for a snack. “I don’t understand why he’s such a wall of silence.”
“Nick’s crazy,” Luisa said. “Messed-up big-time.”
“He needs to be on medication,” Regan agreed. “He’s obviously polar,” she said, and I laughed.
“You mean bipolar, right?”
“Polar,” she insisted. “One minute he’s up, the next he’s down. It’s a disease.”
“Sure, okay,” I obliged. I didn’t want to get into the semantics of it with her, and besides, I’d wanted to name my autobiography Height/Weight Disportionate. I had no room to talk.
“Howdy, Kit Kat,” Alyssa said, coming into the kitchen. “Others.” She gestured toward Luisa and Regan. “Thought you all might like to know I’m making some real headway with Nick. Considering how little you and Nick have in common . . .”
Seeing my stricken look, she added, “No offense, honey, but you didn’t even know Nick had a sister. Even I knew that!”
I gulped. Had Alyssa really known about Sophie? If so, I felt like a world-class fool.
“So Zaidee’s arranging a romantic dinner for me and Nick tomorrow night. Isn’t that great?”
“What?” Luisa gasped.
I fought hard to keep from reacting. She’s only doing it to get to me.
“That is great.” I decided it was time for a different tactic. “I’m glad to see Nick’s moving on with his life,” I said, with enthusiasm.
“You are?”
“Yes, I am,” I said, thinking keep your friends close, your enemies closer. I put down the pineapple I’d been chopping and turned to face her. “I wish only the best for you two.” You’re both snobs. You deserve each other.
“The only bad thing is Jagger’s going to be our server. I used to think he was cute, but now I realize he’s just so,” she paused, as if searching for the right word, “simple.”
“Simple?”
“And he’ll probably try and flirt with me during dinner.”
“I doubt it,” Luisa said.
I doubted it, too, but I kept my mouth shut.
“I’m a guy magnet, so you never know,” she said. “And if all goes well, Nick might wind up inviting me back to his room.”
“Good luck,” I said cheerily. And then, as though nothing would make me happier in the world, I leaned over and gave her a quick hug.
***
The evening of Alyssa and Nick’s romantic dinner, I killed time by playing drunken charades with the other houseguests. Even Maggie, who now spent the majority of her time napping in her private suite, came downstairs and joined us. Luisa fetched a few cartons of light beer from the Tomb of Temptation, and we spent a solid two hours drinking and goofing off. It was a wonderful distraction, and I forgot all about Nick.
Until around eleven o’clock. We had finished our game, and the alcohol had worn off by that point. I wasn’t the least bit tired so I ventured outside to lay by the pool and stare up at the stars. Gazing up and out, seeing the night sky that stretched on for countless miles beyond the house I felt free.
I’d been out there for God knows how long when it happened. “Hey Kit Kat, what’s shaking?” Alyssa said, sneaking up behind me.
I jumped. “I didn’t hear you come out. How was your dinner?”
“Mmm. My head’s spinning.”
“Too much to drink, eh?” She smiled, and put a wouldn’t-you-like-to-know expression on her smug face.
I tried to fight it, but my curiosity got the best of me, and I played right into her hands. “What, did you guys hook up or something?” I asked.
“Oh, we more than hooked up.” She plopped down on the lawn chair next to me and stretched out her long, slender legs. “Kat, you have no idea what you’re missing. Nick is incredible in bed. I was seeing stars.”
I felt nauseous.
“You’re such a liar,” I spat out. “Do you honestly expect me to believe you slept with Nick? ’Cause that’s so fucking ridiculous it’s not even funny.”
“There was no sleeping involved.” She turned to stare directly into the camera. “It was two hours of nonstop action. It’s a miracle I can walk. I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.” She laughed and then massaged her legs for emphasis.
My mouth was gaping open. This was obviously a joke.
“You have no idea what you’re missing,” Alyssa continued, letting out a low whistle. “You should have gotten him while you had the chance.”
“You are such a liar!” I said, again “You’re just saying this to get attention!”
“Stop being bitter, Kit Kat. You lost him, I found him. And you know what they say—finders keepers.”
She was unbelievable. I couldn’t listen to another minute of this; I had to get out of there. “You guys deserve each other,” I told her, jumping up from the lawn chair. I stormed into the house. I needed some time alone, to make sense of it all.
And, well, who doesn’t think better on a full stomach? I’d never gone back into the Tomb of Temptation, not since that first time with Regan. Sure, I’d tasted some of the goodies that others had taken out, but I’d managed to keep myself from succumbing to its lure.
No more.
I stumbled into the kitchen, nearly tripping over Regan, who was slumped across the floor.
“They’re doing it,” I burst out, shaking. “They’re having sex!”
She looked at me slowly and shrugged.
“Don’t you even want to know who I’m talking about?”
She didn’t say anything.
“ALYSSA AND NICK! I figured he had a thing for your sister—and I could accept that because she’s gorgeous. But no, he’s sleeping with Alyssa! Fucking. Screwing. Making love,” I said, trying out all the words I could think of to describe it. None fit.
“Huh.”
I had reached my boiling point. I wanted some kind of a response—a simple “that sucks” would have sufficed. Something, anything! As it was, Regan was barely even listening. “And later tonight you, Janelle, and I are going to run around the backyard naked!” I shrieked, trying to elicit a reaction.
“Yeah, we could do that.”
“Regan!” I exclaimed, sinking down on the floor next to her.
“What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“I just spent forty-five thousand dollars.” She closed her eyes, then rephrased it. “I lost forty-five thousand dollars from my Fat2Fab bank.”
My jaw dropped. I momentarily forgot about Alyssa and Nick.
“How?”
“I ate it.”
“What?!” She gestured toward the Tomb of Temptation.
“It costs money now.”
I stared at her in disbelief. “What do you mean ‘it costs money’?”
“We can’t just go in and get what we want. We have to buy it.” She pointed up again and I saw it. Fastened onto the Tomb of Temptation door was a small touch screen, the kind used at ATMs. “You type in what you want on there, and it dispenses it. Like a big vending machine.”
“But we had beer from there earlier tonight . . . that was free.”
“They changed it.” She sniffed. “I just bought a box of cookies and a bag of chips.”
&nb
sp; “And that was forty-five thousand dollars?”
“I also bought a medium pizza,” she said, hiccupping. “Pepperoni and onions.”
She wasn’t lying about that last part. I could smell the onions on her breath. “But, that shouldn’t have been more than twenty bucks!”
“It’s expensive,” she said, sighing. “Like ten thousand for a pack of donuts.”
“Oh, Regan,” I said putting my arms around her for a hug. “Why did you eat that stuff?”
“I was upset. I had to.”
“Whatever was bothering you, you should have talked to someone about it. You can’t run to the Tomb of Temptation whenever something bad happens. You can’t eat away your problems,” I said. As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized what a hypocrite I was. I’d been totally primed for a binge-fest of donuts, candy, and chips myself. I was no better than her.
“It’s Briana,” Regan whispered. “I can’t live in this house with her. She’s driving me crazy.”
“She’s not that bad,” I said, even though I hadn’t spent enough time around her to make that call. “You guys did pretty well on Match Made in Heaven, which proves you’re somewhat compatible.”
“Who cares if we’re compatible? Briana tells me I’m a disgusting pig. She says even if I lose weight I’ll have all this excess skin and still be a gross fattie.”
Ouch. “Briana also said they’re building a bridge to connect California and Great Britain,” I offered.
“Yeah.” Regan nodded. “I’ve heard about that, too. It’s supposed to be ready by 2017.”
Apparently being thick ran in the family.
“Well, I wouldn’t put much stock in anything Briana says.” Borrowing a line from Jagger, I added, “Besides, she’s shallow. What do you care what shallow people think?”
“Nick’s shallow, and you care what he thinks.”
She had me there. At the mention of Nick’s name, devastation washed over me again.
“Have you got any leftover pizza?” I asked.
She shook her head. “But there’s plenty more where that came from.”
I stood up and began punching up food items on the menu. “Jesus. I can’t believe they’re charging five thousand dollars for a piece of cake!”
Regan nodded sadly.
I thought it over for a minute, then said, “What the hell, every girl deserves a splurge now and again.” I ordered up a bottle of vodka for twenty thousand dollars.
“Beer before liquor, never been sicker,” she cautioned.
“Trust me, there’s no way I could feel any sicker than I already do.”
Regan’s eyes met mine and we started to laugh, big gut-busting wails. I bent forward, holding on to my stomach with my hands and I laughed so long and so hard I thought I might throw up.
Jagger tugged gently on my shirt sleeve.
“Kat?” Somewhere between my fifth and sixth vodka and diet Coke I’d passed out; my body slumped sideways on the kitchen floor. I blinked my eyes, trying to come to grips with my surroundings.
I looked around the kitchen and noticed Regan was gone.
“What are you doing?” I mumbled. “You’re never here this late.”
“It’s six in the morning,” he said. “I get here at this time every day.”
“Holy FUCK!” I said, wide awake. I could see tiny slivers of sunlight streaming in through the kitchen window.
“Where’s Regan?”
“She passed out on the couch. I took her back to her room. Here,” he said, helping me up. “Put your arm over my shoulder and I’ll take you upstairs.”
“No, I can make it,” I said, struggling to stand. My head was spinning.
“I heard what happened with Alyssa,” he said.
The memory came rushing back, and my body buckled. “They had a big night. . . .” I said bitterly.
Jagger nodded. “I heard the audio.” He pulled me up, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Just put your weight on me.”
“I’m fine,” I insisted. I was too embarrassed to put my weight on him. I didn’t want Jagger to feel all 193 pounds of me.
The house was dark, but the camera crew was there nonetheless, capturing everything.
“It’s okay,” Jagger said, as I started to slump into him. He steadied me in his arms. “It’s turning into a pattern . . . every time we arrange a dinner for Nick, you wind up getting plastered.”
“God, you’re right. I’m normally not a drinker. What the hell’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing, you’re human,” Jagger said. “Anybody would be upset.” He held me tighter, pulling me into an awkward hug. “I’m sorry,” he said. And then his lips moved up slightly, just beneath my ear. “Nick’s sleeping with her because it puts him in the spotlight,” he whispered. “Zaidee suggested he’d get more screen time if he had a ‘story line.’ They planned it all out. She told me herself. I don’t know if that makes any difference.”
I moved back, staring at him for a long moment. I was so grateful for what he’d said, so shocked by it. Jagger’s face swam before me and, buoyed by alcohol and gratitude, I gave him a brisk, unexpected kiss. On the lips. “Thank you,” I slurred. “For helping me out.”
He looked taken aback. “You’re welcome,” he said, guiding me up the stairs and depositing me into my bedroom.
He was just setting me on the bed when Janelle stuck her head in the door. “What are you guys doing?” she asked suspiciously.
Jagger laughed. “I should ask you the same thing. Shouldn’t you be cuddled up with Matt right about now?”
“Things between us aren’t like that,” she said. “We’re getting to know each other again. Anyway, I couldn’t sleep. Matt snores, you know.” She looked at me. “Kat, are you hurt or something?”
“She’s had too much to drink,” Jagger explained. “She needs to sleep it off.”
Janelle was there in a heartbeat, pulling off my shoes and helping me under the sheets. She propped a pillow behind my head and covered me with a blanket. “What in the world is going on with you?” Janelle asked, crouching down beside me and stroking my hair. “I’ve never seen you look so out of it.”
I started to answer, but my eyelids were drooping and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake long enough to do the story justice.
“Later,” I mumbled, snuggling under the covers. Right before I dropped off, I turned my head in search of Jagger, but he was gone.
***
There are a lot of things a good, long nap will fix, but Alyssa and Nick wasn’t one of them.
In the light of day the situation with them was even more disturbing to me. Worse still, I was horrified that I’d planted a big, wet, drunken kiss on Jagger’s lips. I’d probably gone and ruined our budding friendship.
“I can’t believe they slept together,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Janelle was seated at the edge of my bed, so she patted my feet. “All this time I thought I couldn’t be with Nick because I wasn’t a size four. He’ll make an exception for her, but I don’t even get a chance?”
Janelle sighed. “Kat, why are you still worrying about what Nick does?”
“I can’t just shut my feelings on and off like a switch.”
“But the guy has no personality! He’s like a carbon-copy of a human being.”
I thought for a minute. “You honestly don’t find him charming?”
“Yes, it’s really charming how he ignores you all the time.”
I sighed. Over the phone, and in our e-mails, Nick had seemed brilliant, full of life. I felt he could show me a part of the world I’d never seen, teach me about things.
I had spent so much of my life waiting; when I met Nick, it seemed that finally, my life had begun. But in person he was nothing but an ass.
“On the phone he seemed so different, so passionate—”
“Passion’s not always a good thing,” Janelle pointed out. “Hitler was passionate.”
I grimaced. “Nick’s handsome.”
“It’s the same way with Jagger,” I agreed. “When I first met him I thought he was good-looking, but in a cocky and arrogant way. But he’s become way more attractive as I’ve gotten to know him.”
“I knew something was going on between you two!” Janelle winked at me.
“Not even.” I sighed. “But we are friends.”
Or were until we shared a drunken kiss.
“You’re blushing.”
“It’s hot in here,” I argued.
“Sure,” she said.
I considered telling Janelle about the kiss, then decided against it. If it had just been the two of us, hanging out at a bar or sitting alone in my apartment, I’d have easily spilled. But seeing how everything we talked about was privy to the viewing audience . . . there was no need to add more dirty laundry to what was already an enormous pile.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The final three weeks of From Fat to Fabulous went by in a blur. Alyssa and Nick were in full-blown couple mode, prancing around the house holding hands, flirting, and kissing. I did my best to avoid them, but it wasn’t easy.
Nick was suddenly going out of his way to spend time around me. “Good morning, Kat,” he’d say every day, as he and Alyssa strolled out of his bedroom together, coming into the kitchen to eat breakfast in their bathrobes. “Lovely to see you,” he’d say as he sat down next to me.
He’d be looking at me out of the corner of his eye while he embraced her. And then they’d spend the next few minutes trading noisy kisses.
I focused on losing weight, but I’d already lost the game. After blowing sixty-five grand in the Tomb of Temptation that night with Regan, I’d slipped into third place, trailing Janelle and Alyssa.
In one fell swoop, my little indiscretion had taken me out of the running for first place. Unless Janelle and Alyssa both screwed up big-time, I was destined for third. And Janelle was doing so well she’d likely have beaten me anyway, even if I hadn’t blown it.
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