by Lucy Evanson
She didn’t know why she hadn’t really noticed it before, but there in the moonlight Nathan’s best features seemed to have all come out, both inside and outside. He had soothed her and calmed her down—that rich voice of his had always seemed so pleasant—and the shadows seemed to accentuate the fine features of his face. His hand on her knee, she could feel his warmth through the blanket.
Then, just as abruptly as he’d come to her room, he stood up to go, sending a wave of surprised confusion through her. She never would have guessed that getting married would put a man in her bed who just wanted to talk.
She had grabbed his hand and told him that there was something else she needed to tell him, and as he looked at her, waiting to hear what it was, her mind raced. Surely she wasn’t going to tell him about Drake. Cora set her jaw and took a deep breath. She could handle Drake all by herself; there was no need to get Nathan upset.
“I, uh…I appreciate that you came to talk to me,” she said, squeezing his hand. “It meant a lot.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
“You know, I haven’t met a lot of men who are any good at just talking,” she said. “At least, they’re not interested in just talking with me.”
“Well, I guess you got lucky.”
His smile was warm and friendly. She had known a lot of men, and she could recognize the grin of a man who wanted something from a mile away. Nathan revealed none of that, as if he really were just trying to be a friend. Almost before she knew it, Cora had thrown back the bedspread and gotten to her knees, leaning close to Nathan.
“What are you doing?”
“Shhh.” She put one hand alongside his face and kissed him then. He may have been surprised, but not as much as she was. She had intended a single quick kiss, but as her lips met his, she felt the urge for another.
It had been a long time since she’d felt another’s lips on her own—not counting the kiss they’d shared on their wedding day. Any kiss that had Joe Tibbs as a witness didn’t count. But this one was different.
Her tongue slipped out and brushed against Nathan’s lips as he took her by the arms. She could feel the strength and warmth of his hands through the thin fabric of her nightgown, and a pleasurable thrill ran through her body. In a moment she had found Nathan’s tongue and began to suck.
He pulled her to him, taking her into his arms as she drank from his mouth. Nathan held her tightly, as if he were afraid that she would slip away, and brought one hand up to caress her face. His touch was soft and gentle, while she could feel the ridges of muscle from the arm he still had around her.
“Let’s lie down a while,” she said quietly, slipping out of his grasp and pulling aside the bedspread.
He was on her in a flash, his mouth seeking hers and his hands roaming over her body. She could feel the weight of his hands on her hips, on her sides, and up to her breasts. Her heart was pounding so hard that she could almost hear it. As Nathan began to kiss the delicate skin of her throat, she felt a familiar warmth begin to grow between her legs. It felt wonderful to have him here with her, but she wanted more. She wanted to feel his skin on her own.
For a moment, Cora hesitated. It would be a big change for them, even if nothing else ever happened. Even if it was just this one night, things could be very different. She almost laughed at herself then. She’d been with men before, but here she was, fretting about sharing a bed with her husband.
She broke their kiss and brought her mouth close to his ear. “Take off your nightshirt,” she told him.
He backed away slightly and laid his hand alongside her face, lightly brushing his fingers over her cheek as if she were too delicate a flower.
“Are you sure about this, Cora?”
“We’re man and wife,” she said quietly. “Do you want to lay with me or no?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then stop talking and get undressed.” As he did so, she slipped out of her gown and let herself fall back to the pillow.
His touch sent shivers through her as he cupped her breast and lowered his mouth. He gently took her flesh between his lips and began to suck. Cora could feel her nipple hardening as he brushed it with his tongue, and the heat within her grew. She ran her fingers through Nathan’s hair and gently pushed his head to the side, pressing his face against her other breast. In a moment his mouth had stiffened that nipple as well.
He covered her chest with kisses as his hands slid over her body, warming her against the chill night air, but giving her goose bumps nonetheless. He ran his fingers over every inch of her, as if he couldn’t be satisfied until he had taken in every curve she had. His lips left a trail of kisses softly cooling in the air, from the swelling flesh under her nipples down to the soft, smooth spot beneath her navel.
She could feel his hardness brushing against her as Nathan moved, and when she could no longer bear to have only his kisses, she spread her legs apart and pulled him close. Cora took him in her hands and guided him against her sex; in only a moment her breath was ripped away as he entered her and they were hip to hip. She wrapped her arms around him, loving the feel of his body, lean and strong, under her fingertips.
He brought his mouth back to hers as they moved together, thrusting his tongue against hers and gently biting her lips. Cora dropped one hand lower, pulling his hips to hers in rhythm. Nathan’s breath was hot against her neck as he pushed into her, and she held him as tightly as she could. She loved having him with her, having his chest against hers, having his warmth where she had been cold.
His hands were strong on her, one moment clutching her hip and the next sliding over her arms as if to pin her down to the bed. He intertwined his fingers with hers, holding her hands as if she belonged to him. As if they had more between them than a marriage vow she had rented.
In a moment he stiffened, driving himself more deeply within her and gasping as he found release. She took his face in her hands, watching his expression. He had almost a pained look, as if it were too much to take, but it soon faded and was replaced with a peaceful soft smile. Cora ran her fingers over his lips; he grabbed her hand and pressed it to her mouth, kissing it.
He slowly lowered his chest to hers and kissed her on the cheek. “Well, that was a bit of a surprise,” he murmured.
She smiled as she ran her fingers up and down his back. She could feel muscle, lean and hard, and she hugged him tightly to her.
“I’ll be right back,” she said, and she gently pushed him away. She quickly put on her nightgown and went to clean up; when she returned to bed, he was also dressed again. He pulled the covers aside for her and she got back into bed, snuggling against him for warmth.
Nathan slid one arm around her, holding her body against his and kissing her on the cheek again. “I sure am glad I married you,” he said quietly.
“Of course you’re going to say that now,” she said, elbowing him softly.
He raised himself up and looked at her, turning her face to his. “I’m serious,” he said. “And it’s not because I’m in your bed right now. I’m glad I married you.”
She searched his eyes, but in the darkness it was impossible to say what was behind them. “Me too,” she finally said. “You really helped me out.”
He let himself fall back to the pillow. “Not much longer now before we get to four months. Then I’ll be on my way, I suppose.”
“I suppose so.”
“Unless you want me to, uh…unless I stick around a while,” he said.
The room was quiet except for the sound of the wind outside. She took a deep breath and then turned back onto her side. “I’m awful tired, Nathan,” she said quietly. “Let’s get some sleep.”
She lay there for a long while until his breathing was deep and regular and she was sure that he was asleep. You never could figure men, and Nathan was no exception. What possible reason could he have had for saying that? She thought about it for a long time before she decided that it must have been the money. There couldn’t be any o
ther reason.
Even with his warmth close behind her, Cora suddenly felt cold. She slipped out of bed slowly and quietly so as not to wake him, then left him sleeping there while she went down the hall to his bed and got in.
The next morning, neither of them said a word about it, and it was almost as if it had never happened at all.
Chapter 11
He had already purchased the large gift—the new cloak he’d bought for Cora was thickly lined and looked like a sack of potatoes by the time they’d tied the package up with string—and had carried it home, coming around from the back in case Cora was sitting by the window. Becky had said that she’d hold onto it for him for a while; it wouldn’t do to bring it upstairs where he’d be unable to hide it, and she’d probably want to open it right away. Of course, he couldn’t blame her, but he didn’t know if Cora’s family had opened gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. Thus he’d decided to get two gifts so she could do both; with the large one completed, he only had the small one left.
The street was full of people rushing about, buying last-minute gifts and food for Christmas dinner. It felt pretty good to be one of them, walking around with some money in his pocket, and Nathan reached into his jacket to pat the wad of bills, reassuring himself that it hadn’t gone missing. He’d been saving every penny he could, and with the holiday bonus Mr. Gates had given him, Nathan had managed to put aside a tidy sum.
The shop windows had been decorated with wreaths, bows and every manner of garland; a few flakes of snow were in the air, glowing as they drifted past the gaslight streetlamps. It looked almost like a storybook; if a person hadn’t already been in a festive mood, the scene laid out before him would have done the trick quite nicely.
I’ll have to see if Cora would like to go out for a walk this evening, Nathan thought. It would be good for her to get out a bit, even if only for fresh air. After weeks of living above the boutique, she still rarely stepped outside, and that seemed to be only when he had come home from work. It was almost as if she were frightened to be out by herself, and the thought weighed heavily on Nathan.
He could understand how unpleasant it might be to run into friends of Emma’s, but it still surprised him a bit that she was letting it get to her this way. The first night he’d laid eyes on her, he had seen fire in her eyes, but now that was slipping away. It had become more of an ember than a bright and lively fire. Still, she can come around again. Embers can burst into flame, he reminded himself.
And then they burn out completely, a dark whisper replied from the back of his mind. Nathan shook his head as if to rid himself of the worry nagging at him. She would be fine if she just had some rest and some distraction, and he meant to give it to her. He hadn’t even mentioned the fat man snooping around at the hotel, so as not to further strain her nerves. Fortunately, Nathan hadn’t seen the man again, so it seemed that they had dodged a bullet.
Of course, it would have been easier to help Cora relax if she were talking to him normally, but in the weeks since he had warmed her bed, things had gotten much cooler between them. He had woken the next morning alone in her room, and as he got dressed for work he had watched her fast asleep in his bed, the blanket rising and falling with her breath.
That evening she had acted as if nothing had happened, greeting him as she always did and making small talk over dinner. Then, when it was time to turn in, she’d gone to her room and shut the door securely. Just like always.
Since then the nights had followed the same pattern, and Nathan was almost to the point of believing that he had dreamed the whole thing. She was so nonchalant, so wholly uninterested in talking about the night they had shared together, that it truly did seem as if nothing had happened—or at least, nothing which had interested her or even concerned her very much. She spoke to him in polite, cool tones, as if he really were nothing more than a roommate. Or an employee.
Nathan’s brow furrowed unconsciously as he walked. That was perhaps the worst part—that it apparently had meant nothing to her, when it had meant so much to him. He’d had some experience with women before, but nobody had compared to Cora. It wasn’t even her body that had thrilled him so much—although that was certainly true—but rather her spirit. She had finally let him get close, like a wild mare letting a rider approach, and that was the part that stuck with him. Maybe he would have enjoyed the physical part even more if she had shown that side more often.
In the end it didn’t really matter. Wild mares didn’t suffer riders long, and Cora had made it clear that their time together would not be repeated. Nathan had fallen asleep that night with his arm protectively tucked around a beautiful, sweet girl who had shared her most precious gift with him. He’d stirred in the morning in an empty bed. It pained him to think of it even now, and he remembered what he’d thought the first time he’d seen her: a girl like that doesn’t need anyone.
He let out a long sigh, his breath steaming in the crisp evening air. He crossed the street now, dodging the carriages and quickly climbing up onto the raised sidewalk that ran in front of Gray’s. The general store was busy; each of the aisles was packed with customers and Nathan spent much of his time inside turning sideways to squeeze between the other shoppers.
After a fruitless half-hour, he realized that Gray’s just didn’t have anything that he would have considered as a gift for her. The first aisle was entirely dedicated to canned food and kitchen implements; given her now-clear disinterest in cooking, it seemed like she probably wouldn’t take that very well. Nathan found himself swept along by the other shoppers and ended up in the outer aisle, which was crammed full of every sort of tool and farming implement imaginable. As he couldn’t imagine giving Cora a shovel—regardless of how nice they looked—Nathan let himself be carried along and spit out at the end of the aisle.
He gently but firmly pushed himself through the crowd and into the middle aisle, which was devoted to household items. Soon enough, he saw that the things on display were of good quality, reasonably priced and entirely inappropriate. He had no doubt that women existed who would appreciate and enjoy a linen tablecloth for Christmas. It’s just that Cora wasn’t one of them.
Nathan pushed his way back outside and glanced up the street one way, then the other. Some of the shop windows were already dark, and he turned his collar up as he stepped down to the street. I’m not going to find anything just hanging around here, he thought as he started walking.
He had nearly reached the end of Main Street, where the shops and stores were replaced with homes and barns, when he turned around and headed back the way he had come. The places that he had passed—the barbershop, the bank—hadn’t raised his hopes that he would find Cora a gift, but he was determined to look everywhere before he gave up.
By the time he had passed Gray’s again, he could see that the crowd inside had thinned, and there were noticeably fewer carriages rolling by. He kept walking. He could see several windows still lighted ahead, which meant that there was still a chance he’d get lucky. Nathan smiled as he remembered something his grandma had been fond of saying: hope dies last.
Hope was on its last legs by the time he reached the final lit window, however. He had passed the butcher shop and the bakery, both of which he’d visited earlier in the day to purchase the fixings for a nice holiday dinner. He had passed the shuttered hulk of an old mining company’s offices and—though he was tempted to stop in for a while—Sally’s saloon. There was the clinic and the pharmacy, and as he reached the feed store the clerk was locking the front door, which would have ruined his plans if he’d been thinking of buying Cora a sack of oats.
The final shop on this side of the street was the florist. He stared at the blooms in their pots, lined up on shelves in the display window, all smeared and blurry from the condensation on the inside of the glass. He didn’t know how much they cost, but if he was going to spend his money on something that would be dead in three days, it damn well better be something he could eat. Plus, Becky had just given
her flowers, and getting her the same thing again so soon would make it look like he hadn’t put any thought at all into it.
He slowly let out his breath in a sigh and turned around. There was only one other shop still open that he could see, across the street and back towards the general store. He couldn’t tell what it was from so far away, but as he got closer he could see that there were several small boxes in the front window, all with items nestled within, gleaming in the gaslight. The jewelry store. Perfect.
He went up to the glass and examined the pieces that were on display. There were gold earrings, ivory pendants on thin, elegant chains, and cameos in silver frames. It all looked very nice, but just not right. There wasn’t anything that truly caught his eye until he had nearly given up and turned to go.
Now that’s beautiful. The silver bracelet had an unusual design; it looked like it had been woven from silver thread, as if it would softly drape itself across a woman’s wrist like fabric. Cora had plenty of earrings and several necklaces, but he had never seen her wearing a bracelet. That’s the one.
He stepped inside and found several other people waiting to be helped by the lone salesperson; every time the clerk stepped up to unlock the display case and remove an item, Nathan felt his stomach drop into his shoes, but fortunately the bracelet seemed to have been overlooked by the other customers.
When it was his turn, he began to describe it and the clerk began nodding even before he’d finished.
“I know just the one,” he said. “That one came all the way from New York City. You’ve quite an eye.” He reached into the case and pulled out the box, setting it on the counter in front of Nathan.
Up close, the bracelet looked even better than he had imagined. He could already picture it around her wrist as she raised a hand to brush away a stray hair, or reached out to caress his cheek before leaning in to kiss him, or—