She watched him, speechless. Ever since he had come back into Justine’s life, Grace had hungered for his apology, but now that she had it, she felt empty.
Gabriel looked up, his eyes pleading. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, and I don’t expect to pick up where we left off—”
Grace laughed, once, loud and sharp. She hadn’t meant to, but it escaped before she could restrain it. Pain flickered in his eyes, and he turned away again. “I’m sorry,” Grace said. “But what you said was … unexpected.”
“All I meant was, I’d like to be a part of your life again. We have a history. We have a child and a grandchild. If you’re willing, I’d like us to be friends.”
“I don’t see how that’s possible,” Grace said, just as Helen called everyone in for supper. She picked up Joshua and carried him into the dining room without sparing Gabriel another glance.
Helen’s dining room wasn’t large, but somehow all forty-two members of the family, four generations from Mother, the eldest, to Joshua, the youngest child, crowded into the room. Justine came to Grace and took Joshua, giving her a questioning look that Grace pretended not to see. “Mother’s going to say the blessing,” Helen called out over the din of voices, which immediately quieted. The family members joined hands and bowed their heads as Mother began to speak.
Even in her anger, Grace enjoyed the meal. Helen was easily the best cook among them, and the others’ contributions were nearly as delicious. Gabriel spoke to Grace only once, to compliment her on the rolls. Grace thanked him but did nothing to prolong the conversation.
When the meal was nearly over, Mother suggested, as she did every year, that everyone at the table tell the others what they were especially thankful for that year. “I’ll begin,” she said. “I’m thankful that once again we’ve all gathered together to celebrate this special day. It does my heart good to have my whole family around me.” Then, with a quick glance at Grace, she added, “I’m also especially thankful that we all continue to enjoy good health, especially Grace.”
There were murmurs of assent, and Grace felt her face growing hot. Mother knew she wished to keep her illness secret from all but family. Had she forgotten Gabriel was there?
The others expressed similar sentiments, and she herself said something about the blessings of Justine and Joshua, but she was distracted, waiting with faint dread for what Gabriel would say. He didn’t disappoint. “I’m grateful to be alive,” he said, and received affirming nods in response. “I’m also deeply thankful that Grace and Justine have given me the opportunity to earn their forgiveness.”
Grace couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
After dessert, Gabriel caught her alone in the family room. “I meant what I said,” he said without preamble, in a quiet voice so no one would overhear. “Please give me a chance to earn your forgiveness. Don’t put this off. We don’t have a lot of time.”
She felt as if an electric shock had shot through her, freezing her to the marrow. She stared at him. “What did you say?”
He looked back at her, and this time she knew what he was thinking.
“You know, don’t you?”
He hesitated, then nodded.
Grace felt all the blood rush to her head. “I have to …” She struggled to stand, and brushed off Gabriel’s hands when he tried to assist. He knew. Justine had told him, Justine or someone else. “I have to go.”
“Grace …”
Blinded by tears, she stumbled into the hallway and fumbled in the closet for her coat and purse. She threw the coat over her shoulders and raced to her car, blocking out the alarmed voices calling after her, calling out her name. He knew. He knew, and she could not bear for him to know.
Adam was enjoying his Thanksgiving break so much that not even the stack of geometry tests that needed grading could dampen his spirits. On Thursday his family had gathered at his mom’s house for their annual feast, and he had spent the day eating, playing football in the backyard with his cousins and brothers, and watching games on television. Whenever she had been able to catch him alone, Nana had pestered him about Megan, and he teased her by refusing to answer her questions. He didn’t tell her about their email exchanges, which he had come to expect and anticipate every day, or the night they had dined out together, or their upcoming meeting on Saturday, when he, Megan, and Robby planned to have lunch and see a movie. Nana was so annoyed at him that she forbade him to have any of her apple pie, which she knew was his favorite, but at the end of the day she relented and sent him home with the two pieces that somehow had been left over.
The next day, Adam graded half of the tests and began writing his final exams, went to the gym, and worked around the house a bit, relaxing, but watching the clock in anticipation of the next day. He was tempted to call Megan, but not wanting to interrupt her holiday, he settled for sending her an email message telling her he was looking forward to seeing her and Robby. When he checked his email that evening, she had not yet responded. He was disappointed but told himself she was probably at her parents’, where she didn’t have access to a computer.
On Saturday, they met at noon in a restaurant in Monroe. Megan had offered to meet him halfway, as they had before, but Adam wanted to spare her the drive. Robby seemed delighted to see Adam again, but when Adam asked him about school, Robby withdrew. Quickly Adam dropped the subject and asked him about video games instead. His familiarity with some of the games, though only slight, pleased Robby greatly. “Mom doesn’t like video games,” Robby told him sorrowfully, and Megan laughed.
After the movie, Megan suggested they go to an orchard on the out-skirts of town for apple cider and cinnamon doughnuts. As they finished eating, Megan asked Robby to pick them a few apples to take home. When Robby ran off, Megan turned to Adam and said, “He seems to like you.”
“I like him.”
“Are you still interested in the arrangement we discussed earlier?”
Adam smiled at her sudden formality. “Of course.”
“It wouldn’t be a burden?”
“Not at all. In fact, it would give me an excuse to have some fun every once in a while.”
Megan smiled then, and Adam realized he had been waiting all day for her to smile at him alone. “Okay, then. We’ll see if Robby’s willing.”
When Robby returned with a basket full of apples, Adam asked him if he liked football. Robby winced and said, “Watching, not playing.”
“How come?”
Robby glanced at Megan before answering. “The other kids in my class are bigger than me, and I get crunched a lot. I like kicking, though. I’m good at that. And I don’t get tackled so much.”
“Really? How good are you?”
Proudly Robby recited his statistics, which were remarkably good for a kid his age. “I’d like to see that,” Adam said. “Would you show me? Maybe we could get together next weekend and practice.”
Robby looked pleased. “That would be fun.” He looked up at Megan. “Can we, Mom?”
“I have some things to do, but why don’t the two of you go?” She glanced at Adam. “If that’s all right with you?”
They arranged that next Saturday afternoon Adam would pick up Robby at Megan’s place and they would kick the football around at the local middle school for a few hours. Then, to Adam’s disappointment, Megan said it was time to go.
She paid for the apples, and as they walked to the parking lot, Megan allowed Robby to run ahead to the car. “Thank you,” she said, offering Adam her hand to shake. “I appreciate this.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Adam said, and meant it.
Megan rewarded him with another smile, and as she got into her car, she called out, “I’ll see you online.”
Adam waved good-bye and watched them drive off before getting into his own car. The memory of her smile lingered as he drove home. He liked Megan. He liked her quiet gentleness that would unexpectedly break into humor; he liked the way she was with Robby, the way she patiently listened to him a
nd thoughtfully considered what he said. He liked the way her face lit up with love when she hugged her son close, and he found himself wishing she would look at him with such fondness.
When he returned home, there was a message on the answering machine, and for a moment Adam hoped it was Megan calling to talk and feared it was Megan canceling their plans for next Saturday. He never would have expected the voice that played back on the tape, a voice he knew so well but had not heard in so many months.
“Adam, it’s me,” Natalie said. “Are you there? Please pick up.” A lengthy pause. “Come on, I know you’re mad at me, but don’t play games, okay? Not today.” Another pause, and then a sigh. “Okay, I guess you’re not home. I was just calling … well, I was just calling to see how you’re doing. And to wish you a happy Thanksgiving.” Another pause, and then she quickly added, “You don’t have to call me back. I’m not home anyway. I’m in Aspen. It’s great here. You’d love it. Well, anyway, I hope you had a good holiday.” She hung up.
Stunned, Adam stood staring at the answering machine before playing the message again. It was not his imagination; Natalie sounded lonely. Sad, too. He sat down heavily on a kitchen stool and wondered what had prompted her to call, from her skiing vacation, no less. Could she have changed her mind? The thought, which once he would have greeted with relief and joy, now made him uncomfortable. As much as their breakup had wounded him, he knew now that they were not well suited for each other, just as Natalie herself had said when she returned the engagement ring. He hoped she wasn’t thinking about …
He shook off the thoughts. Of course she wasn’t thinking about getting back together. She was just calling to wish him a happy Thanksgiving. Maybe she had started to feel some remorse over the way she had treated him, but he was positive she felt nothing more than that. Not Natalie.
He rewound the tape and went into the second bedroom he used as an office to finish checking the geometry tests. By the time he went to bed, he had almost forgotten Natalie had called.
The next morning, he fixed himself some breakfast and read the paper before getting ready for church. He usually skipped the Sunday business section, but a prominent headline caught his eye: “Lindsor’s Stock Down and Rumors of Buyout.”
Lindsor’s—the department store Natalie worked for. Adam read the article, dismayed to learn how declining sales had hurt the store but had made it a more attractive purchase for a large chain. Spokespeople acknowledged that representatives of the two stores were in contact but would neither confirm nor deny that an offer had been made. Regarding the rumors that some stores would be closed and others consolidated—resulting in hundreds of layoffs—they had no comment.
Adam shook his head in regret, thinking of Natalie. The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas were usually her favorites, frantically busy with sales and social gatherings. The frenzy burned out some of her colleagues, but the stress and excitement suited her, and she was in her element. This stress was different, though, and it pained him to think of her wondering if the job she had fought so hard for was in jeopardy.
No doubt that explained the odd tone in her voice; surely she would have known of the situation before it made headlines. Should he call her to offer some sympathy, to give her a chance to vent? He considered it before remembering that she was out of town. He couldn’t reach her if he wanted to, and somehow that filled him with relief. They had promised each other they would be friends, but she couldn’t expect more from him than that.
Nine
With a sigh, Vinnie set aside the letter Donna had enclosed in her Christmas card. She wished she could drop everything and fly off to Minnesota to comfort her friend. Not only had Lindsay canceled her plans to visit her family for Thanksgiving, but she hardly talked to her mother anymore, even on the phone. “I feel like she’s pulling away from us,” Donna had written. “I suppose this is natural, considering she’s going to be married in a few months, but it makes me heartsick.”
Vinnie wanted to write back with words of encouragement but could find nothing encouraging in the little she knew of this young man Brandon. Vinnie didn’t consider Lindsay’s withdrawal at all natural; in her experience, weddings brought families together rather than wedging them apart. Even Natalie had warmed to her new in-laws and Adam’s extended family in the months leading up to the expected ceremony, and that engagement had been a disaster from the beginning. Vinnie had never met Lindsay, but the young woman’s behavior seemed odd, even troubling, and her fiancé’s was worse.
Vinnie didn’t want to stir up trouble by alarming Donna with warnings that might be unfounded, but she suspected Donna’s worries had merit. Donna was a kind, generous, and loving woman, not the sort to cling jealously to her daughter rather than allow her to make a new life with the man she loved. Even now, she continued to give Brandon the benefit of the doubt, long after others—Vinnie included—would have become suspicious enough to confront him, or at least to speak to her daughter.
Donna would have to approach Lindsay with much more tact than Vinnie herself could have mustered, but keeping silent any longer wouldn’t do Donna’s nerves any good, and if it turned out there was some reason why Lindsay and Brandon shouldn’t marry, the sooner they found out, the better. She had learned that from Adam and Natalie.
Vinnie knew her Cross-Country Quilter friends wondered why she was so eager to see Adam married, or even dating, so soon after the breakup of his engagement. They thought she innocently believed that once married, everyone lived happily ever after. But they misunderstood her. She had learned from her own parents that happy marriages could end too soon in grief; her own marriage had taught her that even happy unions had ups and downs, and that each day required a renewed commitment to make it work. But from Aunt Lynn and Lena she had learned that love and companionship were essential for any other kind of happiness.
Vinnie had married young, at seventeen. She had known Sam for less than a year, but had known almost from the start that she loved him and that he was the only man she would ever love.
They met at a dance on a Friday evening in early June. Vinnie was dating another young man at the time, but the passing years had faded her memories of a time she felt affection for any man other than Sam, so that sometimes, even when she concentrated, she could hardly picture his face. Sam, too, had a girlfriend, and they were very close to getting pinned. They might have married one day if Sam’s girlfriend had not caught a bad cold on the same weekend Vinnie’s boyfriend was out of town visiting relatives, and if their respective groups of friends had not cajoled them into going to the dance anyway.
Vinnie had seen Sam before, since his girlfriend attended her school and Sam had occasionally escorted her to school functions. What Vinnie didn’t know until later was that Sam had seen her before, too, and thought she had a wonderful laugh and the most beautiful face he’d ever seen—an observation he kept to himself rather than share with his girlfriend.
When Sam saw Vinnie at the dance, he had to wait through several songs until she was free. Then he quickly stepped in and invited her to dance. His girlfriend didn’t like to swing dance, so he wasn’t as polished as some of the other young men, but Vinnie was an excellent dancer and made up for any of his shortcomings. He liked the way her eyes lit up with fun as they danced, and so he stayed by her side for the next dance, and the next, and before either of them realized it, they had spent the entire evening together.
Vinnie had enjoyed dancing with the tall, handsome man with the slow smile and the easy manner, but since he was three years older than she and was dating a senior from her own school, she didn’t expect to dance with him again after that night. She certainly didn’t expect to run into him the next day at the library, where she studied every Saturday afternoon with her friends. When he asked her to go out with him, at first she was too startled to reply. For one quick, guilty moment she thought of her boyfriend, but she accepted.
When one date led to another and they began to go steady, the senior gir
ls at her school rallied around their scorned, heartbroken friend and made life difficult for Vinnie. Their eyes narrowed as Vinnie passed them in the hallways, and the whispers followed her wherever she went. Tramp, they called her, assuming that she must agree to all sorts of sinful things in the dark with Sam. Only that could have turned his head, when he had been so faithful for three years. Three years Sam and his girlfriend had been together, and yet he had broken off the relationship within a week of meeting Vinnie. A week!
Vinnie let her own boyfriend down more gently, and he took it bravely, which made Vinnie feel worse. But only for a little while: she was young, after all, and she was in love, and all that mattered was Sam and herself and the future they had begun to talk about, first tentatively, and as time passed, with greater assurance and hope.
Then the whole world erupted in war, and the United States was drawn into it. Sam, at twenty, was eligible for the draft, and for the first time since meeting him, Vinnie feared all their hopes and plans had been in vain. She cried when he asked her to marry him, because she knew his haste came from an all too plausible concern that if they did not marry soon, they might never have the chance. Aunt Lynn gave her blessing but cried a little over Vinnie’s leaving school. She also urged Vinnie to ask her father to give her away, because although she rarely saw him, he was, after all, the only father she had. Vinnie’s instinct was to retort that he had given her away a long time ago, but because Aunt Lynn wanted it, she agreed.
Within weeks Lena had whipped up a wedding dress and Aunt Lynn had planned a modest celebration. Her father escorted Vinnie down the aisle and gave her hand to Sam, then exacted a tearful promise that Sam look after his little girl. Vinnie wasn’t sure what astonished her more, her father’s emotion or his belief that he was relinquishing the role of her protector to Sam. If anyone ought to do that, it was Aunt Lynn, and her aunt would assume Vinnie planned to take care of herself.
An Elm Creek Quilts Sampler Page 81