I whimpered in fear. This man liked what he was doing and there would be no talking him out of torturing me. I thought I had been here for at least ten days. Ten days of waiting for him to come. Ten days of being tortured. Ten days of just enough food and water to keep me alive. Before today, I had been beaten or burned with cigarettes. I had been cut with small slices, just enough to make me fear for my life. Today was different. Today, I was very likely to fall and die an agonizing death. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted this to be painful. He would make me suffer more than any day before this.
With the first crack of his belt against my skin, my belly dipped lower. I didn’t have the energy to hold myself up. With each bite of the belt, my body sagged lower and lower. If I was right, the ropes were slowly giving, lowering me toward the spikes.
“You know, when I took you I had every intention of keeping you for a long time as my play thing.” He laughed maniacally. “When I found out that your brother is a cop, I decided that I didn’t want to keep you around as long. A cop would be too much trouble and has too many resources. Sorry, doll, but you’re not worth the trouble.”
Relief poured through me knowing that this would soon be over. I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. I started crying because I never got to say goodbye to my family and friends. I never lived a life other than to do what any young person was expected to do. I went to college and studied hard. I got a job and moved into my own apartment. By all standards, I was a good person that followed the rules and did what was expected. This wasn’t supposed to be happening to me. I was supposed to live a full life and now I was going to die like a pig going to slaughter. Except a pig got a quick death.
My vision blurred as the spikes came closer and closer to my body. I still felt the crack of the belt, but I was numb now. My mind had taken me somewhere that I could no longer feel the pain or think about what was still waiting.
When I woke up, it was to sharp pain in my abdomen. Looking down, I could see that my body had sagged to the point that my belly was now being impaled with the sharp points. I continued to feel the sharp pricks in new areas of my body. Why couldn’t I just fall all at once and have this be over?
I looked around the basement, but I couldn’t see anyone. Had he left me? I couldn’t imagine that he would want to miss me slowly dying, so where was he? The sound of an engine outside had me holding my breath. I waited for the footsteps to come on the stairs.
“Cara. Cara.”
I slowly opened my eyes to see Dr. Penwarden kneeling beside me. I was still in the armchair chair in his office, but now I was slumped over.
“Cara, how are you feeling? Would you like me to call an ambulance?”
Just the thought of an ambulance had me shaking. I would never step foot in a hospital ever again if I could help it. I had done it for my brother when he got himself beat up a year ago, but I only entered because of the fear that he was dead.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? You slipped into some memories and I couldn’t reach you.”
Dr. Penwarden handed me a bottle of water that I took with shaky hands. After drinking a few sips, I felt a little better.
“Do you want to talk about what you remembered?”
“No, I don’t ever want to talk about it.”
“Cara, at some point you have to acknowledge what happened or the panic attacks will never go away.”
“Not today, doc.”
I stood up, grabbing my purse and headed for the door.
“I’ll see you next week, Cara. Call me if you need to come in sooner.”
I stormed out of his office and went quickly to my car, barely paying attention to my surroundings. All I could think about was getting home, away from all the people and the memories that were plaguing me.
I hadn’t thought about that particular day in over a year. I had successfully blocked it from my mind so that I didn’t have to relive the fear and pain, but Sinner’s damn buckle brought it all back. Damn him.
I didn’t remember the drive home and I’m not sure how I managed to make it home in one piece. Had I stopped at any traffic lights or stop signs? I couldn’t remember, but frankly I didn’t care. I got inside and quickly typed in the code for the alarm. After checking all the doors and windows, I grabbed a knife and hid in my closet. I was scared to be out in the open where he could find me, but being in the closet was suffocating.
He’s going to find me. Any second now, he’ll walk through that door and come to finish the job he started. I’ll be taken all over again and this time, he’ll draw out the torture.
No, he’s gone. He can’t hurt me anymore. He’s dead, right? Isn’t he?
I held the knife tight as I sat with my knees drawn up to my chest. I hit myself in the head with the handle of the knife to rid my mind of the thoughts running wild.
He’s not here anymore. He’s not here. No one will come get you because there’s no one left.
But I can still feel him sometimes at night. I can feel him watching me. He’s waiting until I let my guard down and then he’ll take me back to that hell.
My head drooped several times, but I always jerked back up thinking that he was waiting outside the door for me. Light appeared under the door at some point and I thought maybe I could make it over to the safety of Drew and Sarah’s house.
They’ll let me stay there. I’ll be safe there, but then he’ll find me there and kill them too. I can’t put them all in danger, especially the babies. They don’t deserve that kind of fear or to grow up without parents. No, I need to just stay here.
I didn’t know how long I stayed where I was, but I was vaguely aware that my body was going numb, probably from being curled up for so long. When I started to droop again, I put my hand down on the floor to steady myself and felt something wet cover my hand. Lifting my hand to my face, I smelled urine. I had peed myself at some point and didn’t even realize it. Tears filled my eyes as I imagined myself sitting in a puddle of urine. It was disgusting, but still I couldn’t force myself to move. I was too scared.
✯✯✯✯✯
What’s that noise? Pounding. Oh my God. He’s here. He’s finally come. I should have run hours ago. I could have been long gone, but now I’m going to be taken again.
My heart thundered in my chest as I heard heavy footfalls on the floor. This was it. Nausea took over and it took everything I had to keep myself from vomiting all over the floor.
“She’s not here. I’ve looked everywhere. Sarah hasn’t heard from her for two days. We thought she was just sick yesterday, but it’s been too long.”
The loud noise in my ears dimmed. That was Drew’s voice. Drew, not my attacker. I needed to get up, but I couldn’t. I was still frozen in place. My hand hurt from gripping the handle of the knife for so long. I wasn’t sure if I could get up even if I tried. Every part of my body hurt so badly, but still I kept still.
“Why would I check the closets? Her car is here. She didn’t go anywhere..Oh, shit. Hold on.”
The door to the closet flew open and the bright light blinded me. I squinted, but couldn’t bring my hand up to cover my eyes. As my eyes adjusted, I could see the puddle of urine had spread under the door.
“She’s here, Sean. How soon until you’re here? Okay, see you in a few minutes.”
The phone went dark, but still I stayed where I was.
“Cara, are you okay?”
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even shake my head. I was most definitely not okay. Nothing would ever make me okay.
“Sean’s going to be here any minute now, okay? Can you hand me the knife?”
I gripped it tighter as my breathing accelerated. Deep down I knew that Drew would never hurt me, but the fear inside me refused to let go of the knife. Sean appeared in front of me a few minutes later. He looked worried and I knew that he was panicking. I hadn’t flipped out like this since that first year. I still had panic attacks and blacked out from time to time, but nothing like this.
/> “Cara, how are you, sweetie?”
I blinked a few times at my brother, finally letting go of some of the fear. As the tears started to fall, my brother leaned forward and took the knife from my hand and gave it to Drew. He pulled me toward him and I willing wrapped myself around him. He held me and let me cry, rubbing my back and telling me that everything was going to be fine.
I was exhausted by the time my tears dried up, but I could smell the urine around me and knew I had to clean up.
“How about we get you into the shower? I’m sure you’ll feel better after you get cleaned up.”
I nodded and let him carry me into the bathroom. My legs were stiff and I didn’t think I could stand in the shower.
“Bath,” I whispered. He nodded and started running the water and poured in some soap. He handed me a towel and I held it in front of me as he helped me out of my clothes. He had done this before and I’m sure he didn’t want to see his little sister naked, but there were many times that I couldn’t take care of myself and he needed to step in. I tried to help him as much as I could, but my limbs were so stiff.
“How long was I in there?”
“I don’t know. What day did this happen?”
I thought about what day my appointment was on. “Wednesday.”
“It’s Friday, about noon,” he sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t come check on you sooner. I let you down.”
“No, you didn’t. It’s not your job to take care of me.”
“I’m your brother. It will always be my job to look after you. Come on, let’s get you in the tub.”
When I was done soaking, I shakily got out of the tub and grabbed the towel to dry myself off. Sean had left my robe on the back of the door, so I quickly put it on and went to my bed. The short walk wore me out and I was shaking by the time I closed my eyes.
“Not so fast. You need to eat before you go to sleep,” Sean said as he walked in with a tray of food. It was just a sandwich and some chips, but I didn’t think I could handle anything heavier.
“Here, drink plenty of water. You’re dehydrated.”
I took the bottle he handed me and quickly guzzled the bottle. He pulled out another and set it on the tray. I glanced toward the closet and saw that the floor had been cleaned up. I could feel my face heat, knowing that my brother had to clean up my piss.
“It’s fine, Cara. We all need help sometimes.”
I laughed sardonically. “Not as much as I do.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. We all have our own demons to battle.”
“Tell me one person that is as much of a pain in the ass as me.”
“I know you don’t remember this because it was soon after you were rescued, but Cole returned from war and he was more fucked up than you.”
“In what way?”
“I think that’s something that you need to talk to him about. I already asked him to come over. You can talk to him and he’ll understand.”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone about it. You shouldn’t have called him.” I was pissed now. I didn’t need his friends knowing my inner demons and judging me for it. It was bad enough that Drew and my brother found me that way, but now Cole was going to come over to hear all about it?
“Cara, you need to talk to someone that understands. I can only do so much for you. If you won’t talk to your therapist, you need to talk to someone.”
He got up and walked out of the room, leaving me to my dinner. I was very hungry and I was just finishing up my sandwich when there was a knock on my bedroom door. Cole poked his head in and smiled.
“Can I come in?”
“It’s not like I have a choice. Apparently, my brother runs my life now.”
“Still got that attitude, I see.”
I rolled my eyes and took another drink of my water. Cole pulled up a chair and sat next to me.
“So you freaked out, huh?”
“I guess you could say that.”
“You locked yourself in a closet for almost two days.”
“Yep.”
“Well, you’re still doing better than I did when I came home. I didn’t leave my bed for days at a time. My parents had to come and force me to shower and feed me. I was basically catatonic for the first two or three months I was home. I don’t even remember much of it. Then your brother came over and started forcing me out of the house, but I still had days that I just couldn’t move.” He was looking out the window like he was lost in thought, but then he shook his head and looked at me. “I guess the way I figure it, locking yourself in a closet for a few days is small potatoes.”
I pulled at the paper around the water bottle as I decided whether or not I would say anything. Finally, I realized that he was probably one of the only people that would understand, the other being his wife, but it seemed too weird to talk to her about what I went through.
“I was at a therapy appointment and I just remembered this one thing. It sent me into a panic and before I knew it, I was at home cowering in the closet, sure that he was coming back to get me.”
He nodded. “Alex still has moments like that. It’s not something you just get over. She has panic attacks in public too.”
“She does?”
“Yeah, it’s usually brought on by something scary happening.”
“I feel so stupid. She was kept for close to six months. I was kept for ten days. She’s more of a functioning adult than I am.”
“You can’t base your recovery on how she’s doing. There’s no manual for how soon you should recover or certain steps you should take. Each person is different.”
My cheeks grew wet as the tears streamed down my face. “I didn’t leave the closet for almost two days. I was so out of it that I pissed all over the floor.”
Cole scratched the scruff on his neck. “I’m pretty sure I pissed the bed a time or two. When you’re that out of it, shit happens.” He leaned forward and pointed a finger at me. “But if you tell that shit to anyone, I’ll tell everyone you pissed all over the floor.”
I laughed through my tears and wiped my face. I took a deep breath and blew it out.
“You’ll be fine, Cara. Take a few days for yourself and get better.”
CHAPTER SIX
Sinner
“MS. ADAMS.”
She had a whole entourage with her that were standing in the way of where we needed to be. I pushed my way through the crowd of people and stepped up next to her.
“Ms. Adams, I’m Mark Sinn. I’ll be taking over security for you.”
“Oh, good. If you wouldn’t mind finding my luggage, I’d be ever so grateful.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Ms. Adams, I’m here to protect you, not carry your luggage. If you want someone to carry your luggage, get a personal assistant. Now, we have a car waiting and it would be best if we continued this in the car.”
She pursed her lips at me, obviously not liking that I just put her in her place. She nodded to another man, who went in the direction of luggage claim.
“We have two vehicles with us. The second will wait for your luggage and your assistant.”
“This is ridiculous. I really didn’t need anyone to come guard me.”
I kept my mouth shut as I guided her out of the airport to the SUV that Cazzo had waiting for us. Opening the door, I helped her inside and did a quick scan before getting in behind her. Normally I would ride up front, but I wanted to be sure we were on the same page before we got back to the hotel. Burg, Lola, and Derek were posted around the airport for additional security, and Hunter was driving the other vehicle. Since our teams stuck together, Burg climbed into the front seat with Cazzo and we took off for the hotel, while the other vehicle waited on luggage and anyone else coming along, though they wouldn’t be allowed to enter the hotel until they were checked out.
“Ms. Adams-”
“Would you please stop calling me Ms. Adams! My name is Vanessa. Enough of this bullshit. I don’t need anyone protecting me. I’m he
re for a fundraiser and that’s it. Nobody on God’s green earth needs someone to follow them around like a puppy.”
“Then why did you request our services?”
“I didn’t. My father has this idea that in order to appear important, you need to be followed at all times by men dressed extremely well, with dark sunglasses and scowls on their faces.”
“Don’t forget that we also carry guns.”
She pursed her lips again. “Yes, well I could do without all of it. The only reason I went along with the whole thing is because the charity is something I strongly support.”
“Right, the Duke Hammond Charity. It raises money for kids that have been in the foster system so they have better opportunities after high school.”
“You did your homework.”
“Well, we did have to plan ahead for taking you to this charity function.”
“And I suppose one of you will be posing as my date.”
“That’s the general idea. Don’t worry. We all clean up well enough.”
“So, who exactly is on my security detail for this trip?”
“For now, there are just three of us.”
“There were at least four at the airport.”
I raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You know how to spot security.”
“Mr. Sinn-”
“Mark.”
“Mark, I’ve lived around security all my life. I had thought that I might escape it when I became an adult, but apparently being the daughter of a billionaire doesn’t leave me much choice.”
“Well, for most of the trip there will be three of us. We had additional security at the airport because it’s such a crowded space and if we feel it’s warranted, we’ll add another team. Unless there’s some reason we don’t know about, I see no reason to have more than the three of us. We’re all highly trained.”
“Funny, that’s what the last security company said, but I managed to lose them every time.”
Sinner: A Reed Security Romance Page 6