by Cherry Adair
“And I’ll never love you. From observation, love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It binds you, strips away your pride and strength with nothing in return.”
“You’ve had more experience. I’ll take your word for it,” Jessie hedged. “But I did miss you holding me. Turn around. Kiss me. Please, Joshua.” Her voice sounded thick. Her heart took up a dull, heavy beat as he remained facing the window before turning around slowly. He looked down into her upturned face, using a finger to trace the curve of her cheek.
The feel of his fingers on her face was unbearably tender. A contradiction to the rock-hard look in his pale eyes.
“Did you miss me, Jessie?”
“Yes. Very much.” She ached for him to wrap his arms around her, to hold her close to his broad chest. She uselessly yearned to have him welcome her into his arms. Every time they were apart, it seemed to Jessie as if they had to start again from square one. The man had the worst timing of anyone she knew.
He dropped his hand from her face, reaching into his jacket pocket and withdrawing a glossy black paper bag with gold corded handles. “Here.”
She looked at the bag. Jewelry wasn’t what she wanted from him. “I told you I don’t want you to keep buying me things, Joshua.” She refused to take it from him. “Don’t make me feel...cheap.”
He ran his knuckle down her cheek as he stared down at her meditatively. “No, you’re not cheap, are you, Jessie?”
“I’ll stay for as long as it suits us both, but I won’t be bought.” Her cheek was immediately cold as he dropped his hand.
“Just open the damn thing. It’s no big deal.”
Jessie didn’t care about the present. Why hadn’t he kissed her? Was this his way of punishing her for not joining him on his trip? She absently took the bag from him, and inserted her hand into the iridescent, gossamer-thin paper inside.
She pulled out a delicate rose quartz box the size of her palm. It was crusted with pearls, what looked like pink diamonds and intricately woven gold leaves. It was feminine, delicate and quite unlike anything he’d given her before.
“It’s exquisite.” Jessie looked up at him. Please don’t just stand there with that hateful cold look on your face. “Thank—”
“Open it.”
Jessie clicked open the lid. Inside, nestled on a bed of blush-pink satin lay two pale green spheres, each about three-quarters of an inch across. Earrings. She lifted one from the box. It moved in her hand. Jessie stared at it. Not an earring. It had no back to it.
“Marbles?” she asked, puzzled. She flattened her palm, and the small ball rolled across her hand.
“Benwa balls,” Joshua told her.
Jessie put the thing back into its box, then gave him a puzzled look. “Benwa balls?”
“You insert them into your vagina,” Joshua said, watching her face. “You’ll have continuous orgasms when we’re apart.”
Jessie pulled a face. “Sounds exhausting. Think I’ll pass.”
“These particular benwa balls were hand carved over a thousand years ago.” He removed both balls from the box. “Give me your hand. See how they move? That’s because they’ve been carefully weighted so that they’ll continually shift inside you. They’re made from white jade found in Myanmar, Burma. This particular jade is called moss in snow—see the little flecks of darker green? They’re said to have magical powers.”
“Well, anything that can give a woman multiple orgasms without human contact, must,” Jessie said with a small smile. “But if these things are over a thousand years old I’d hate to think how many women have...used them. Ew. Thank you for the gift, but I’ll definitely pass.”
Joshua took the box from her and inserted the jade balls. He snapped the lid closed then shoved the box in his pocket. “They’re nonporous and sterilized. Do you think I’d give you anything that would harm you?”
“No. But I’d still prefer to have something as intimate as that in its original, sanitized, shrink-wrapped packaging, thank you very much.”
“Go upstairs and wait for me,” he said coldly. “I have to make a few calls.”
Jessie gave him a narrow-eyed look before turning on her heel and leaving the room. She left a drift of Joy and disappointment in the room behind her like an invisible ghost.
He should have given her more diamonds. She’d liked the earrings he’d given her for Valentine’s Day. The benwa balls had been too intimate, too personal. He’d been thinking of her pleasure. The antiquities had cost enough to support a small nation, and she’d dismissed their value as casually as she would a Cracker Jack box toy. He’d seen the disappointment in her eyes when she’d opened the damned box. She’d expected jewelry. Something she could wear and show off. Damn. He rubbed the ache between his eyes.
Once when he’d been about twelve, he’d given his mother a purple leather coat. It had cost him his month’s allowance and humiliating hours trying to choose the one he knew she would like. The memory of her laughter made him cringe to this day. The color, of course, had been all wrong with her skin tones and didn’t he know that she had wanted a red fox fur, for God’s sake?
His mother had returned the coat and kept the money. The look on Jessie’s face had frozen his marrow in exactly the same way as it had frozen all those years ago. Joshua hadn’t liked it then, and he sure as hell wouldn’t tolerate it now.
He’d watched her bounce in, her bright figure reflected in the small baroque mirror on the wall beside him. He’d squeezed his eyes shut as her fragrance drifted closer and closer. God, when she’d walked in, he hadn’t been able to turn around without making an absolute ass of himself.
If he had, he would’ve grabbed her and held on tightly. He would’ve inhaled the sweet familiar fragrance of her hair and brushed his mouth across her velvety check. He’d ached so, missing her.
His need for her was alarming. Jesus. What the hell was this? It was more than sex. He was addicted to the taste and feel of Jessie. Addicted to the touch of her hands. Hell, he didn’t care where she touched him. Didn’t care whether it was sexual or not. He wanted her hands on him.
He’d just realized since meeting her that the only time anyone had touched him in his life had been purely by necessity, for sex, or by accident. Who would have thought that touching could become so damn addictive? When he was with Jessie he felt as uncontrolled as the boy he’d once been trying to hug his mother without blubbering like an infant.
It was easy for Joshua to express himself with sex. Sex was physical, immediate, the meaning unmistakable. His insatiable desire for Jessie was a clear indication of his... Joshua grit his teeth. What? God only knew, nothing as clear-cut and simple as physical desire described what he felt for the infuriating woman upstairs.
He didn’t understand this emotional churning, or the mental upheaval of titanic proportions he’d been experiencing in the months since he’d met her. Instinct warned he was in way over his head and sinking fast.
He glanced at his watch. Eleven minutes had passed. He turned for the stairs, warning himself to slow down and not appear more eager than was financially advisable. The woman turned him inside out, but she didn’t have to know it.
Joshua winced when he recalled his crude question to her about just thinking about sex. Christ. He was the one who thought of nothing else. He walked slowly up the curving staircase, his footsteps as heavy as that frozen rock in his chest.
Only the light beside the bed broke the darkness. The room was empty. He could hear water running in the bathroom. Joshua shrugged out of his jacket and loosened his tie. He and Jessie had never taken a bath together. Their coupling was always too fast and hard to waste a moment. Joshua felt his arousal despite the bone-weary exhaustion that dragged at his shoulders and made every step seem a mile.
He envisioned Jessie up to her pink nipples in foaming water, holding out her a
rms to him wearing bubbles and a smile. She’d be slick with water and desire. He moved into the luxuriously appointed bathroom.
She was still fully clothed. The brilliant orange, red and yellow skirt trailed onto the black-carpeted floor as she sat on the top step near the edge of the tub, her fingers testing the water.
“You’re not naked,” he said more harshly than he intended. Steam had made her hair curl more tightly and filmed her face and neck with a pearlescent glow.
“Not yet.” She stood and wiped her hands on a towel she’d draped on the heated rack next to the sunken tub. She moved toward him with that lithe, catlike grace that made his mouth water and his penis stand to attention. Her fingers finished loosening his tie, tossing it behind him where it landed in the doorway.
She stripped off his shirt, tossing it the way of his tie. Her hands felt cool against his stomach as she unbuttoned, unzipped and managed to draw down his shorts with his pants.
“What d—”
Jessie stopped him midword. “Joshua?” She curved her palm against his cheek.
“What!”
“You’re behaving like a jerk.” She reached up on her tiptoes and gently kissed his mouth. “I know you’re tired. Just don’t say anything for a while, okay?”
His forehead dropped to rest on hers, and his arms looped around her slender waist. “Jesus, Jessie,” he groaned. “What are you doing to me?”
“Tonight, let me be a friend, even if you are behaving like an ass.” She methodically removed the rest of his clothing. “The closer we get, the harder you try to push me away. Sometimes you push too hard and it hurts. So, tonight, we’ll just be friends.”
Joshua bracketed her face with both hands, closed his eyes as if in pain and then opened them to look down at her, a half smile curving his mouth. “What will my ‘friend’ do when she sees how aroused I am?” he asked on a huff of air.
Jessie grinned. “Oh, I’m friends with that part, too. Don’t worry, I can control my baser side.”
“Shoes?” he asked, amused by her enthusiasm. “The shoes come off before the pants, darling.” Joshua buried his fingers in her hair as she knelt at his feet. Impatient with how methodical she was being, he cupped her face. “Stand up, Jessie.”
She rose slowly, hitching up her blouse where it drooped off one slender pale shoulder. Her dark eyes grew heavy lidded as he stroked the warm, damp skin of her neck, then slipped the elastic farther down her arm.
“I know I don’t always respond to you appropriately,” he said softly as she looked up at him warily. The woman turned him inside out. “But can we be ‘friends’ later?” he murmured roughly. “As much as slow turns me on, I need you hard and fast right now. It’s been too damn long.”
As he talked, he stripped her naked. Despite the blustery weather, she hadn’t worn much. Her gypsy-girl outfit was more color than substance. She wore no underwear. Joshua groaned, kicking off his shoes as his mouth hungrily sought hers.
Jessie pulled his head closer, kissing him openmouthed. He swiftly turned the kiss into a prolonged, nonverbal apology.
He felt very, very apologetic.
They sank onto the carpeted steps running the length of the deep Jacuzzi tub. Joshua lay back, and Jessie straddled his hips, holding herself over his erection until she was comfortably situated. “You don’t get to call the shots tonight. It’s my turn. Just lie there and let me do my thing. Now, put your arms out on either side of you where I can see them, and don’t touch.”
Joshua’s mouth watered as he let his gaze travel from her wild hair, down the smooth satin of her skin. She lifted her arms to shake back her hair, baring the slender length of her throat and the gentle slope of her breasts. He reached for her, but she gently pushed his hands away. “Uh-uh. Tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you.”
He stretched his arms out along the step. “I want to taste your nipples.”
She arched her back, leaning forward, hands braced on the step near his head. Her dark, fragrant hair fell in a silky curtain around their heads. Her nipple was hard and puckered as she brushed his lips with first one and then the other. God, she was responsive. Joshua latched on to one hard point on her next pass and gently closed his teeth around the bud, then laved it with his tongue. She moaned low in her throat, and he felt the shudder run through her body. He nuzzled his face between her sweet breasts, inhaling the heady fragrance of an aroused Jessie.
“Go down on me, Jessie,” he begged, his voice almost unrecognizable.
“Kiss me first,” Jessie said thickly. “Kiss me as if you’re thirsty, and I’m water.” Her slightly parted lips brushed his mouth. Eager to taste her, Joshua allowed Jessie to take the initiative. Her tongue slicked along the seam of his lips and he opened his mouth to her. She tasted achingly familiar. For a moment, he couldn’t bear to move as she brushed her soft lips over his and tasted him with her tongue.
“I’m dying of thirst here, Jessie. More.”
Her husky laugh tickled his lips. She angled her head and tunneled her fingers through his hair, holding him where she needed him, not that he was going anywhere. Joshua dug his fingers into the thick pile of the carpet, resisting the overwhelming need to touch her velvety soft skin.
She kissed him back boldly, aggressively. Her tongue mated and dueled with his until his erection jerked and bobbed against his leg.
They were both breathing hard when she lifted her head. Their eyes met for a moment, then, keeping eye contact, Jessie slid down his body, supple and eager.
Joshua’s head fell back on the thickly padded stair as her hair flowed like summer rain across his chest. Stomach. Groin. Ah, Jesus... She knelt between his legs, naked and glorious, her pale body luminous against the matte blackness of the carpet.
Jessie.
Her fingers were cool as she tested the weight of his balls in one hand, while with her other she brought the tip of his penis into contact with the slick, wet heat of her mouth. And, all the while, her big, brown, beautiful eyes watched his face.
As delicate as a cat, she licked the bead of moisture from the tip, then ran her tongue down the length of his erection as though it were a Popsicle. She wrapped her cool fingers around the base, and his nostrils flared and teeth gritted at the exquisite sensation. He bit back a groan and dug his fingers into the carpet to anchor himself.
Jessie.
Her lips worked the swollen head of his shaft as though she’d done this a million times before. Her eyes lost focus as she concentrated on pleasuring him.
She drew her slick tongue down the length, and then took the head into her mouth and sucked hard. Joshua’s shoulders came up off the step, and he let out a feral growl of pleasure.
He grabbed Jessie’s slender shoulders and pulled her up the length of his body.
“Not good?” she asked, crawling up the rest of the way on her own.
“Too good.” His erection demanded relief, it bobbed and stroked her flat belly with a mind of its own. “Top or bottom?”
“Top,” Jessie decided, voice thick. She took his shaft in one hand and guided it home.
CHAPTER SIX
JESSIE GLANCED AT the clock on her nightstand as she finished dressing for the party. For once she might be ready when Joshua arrived. Grabbing the yellow clutch that matched her dress, she dashed downstairs to her studio to put the finishing touches on the presentation she’d been working on for the past week. It was a nice commission, one she wanted to close.
Despite Archie and Conrad being good friends, they were also her bosses. She’d hardly been bringing in enough to cover her paycheck in the past few months, and she was starting to feel guilty.
When Conrad had hired a new designer for the team a month ago, he’d been quick to assure Jessie that she still had her job. The architectural design firm was simply growing.
It was. Jessie knew that, but she felt guilty all the same. Getting out of bed at 3:00 a.m and then getting out of bed to go to work again at 7:00 a.m. was hardly conducive to a good night’s sleep. She was starting to feel the strain.
But neither by word nor deed did she intend Joshua to know that. She’d just have to become more organized.
They spent almost every night together, and every morning at three, Jessie drove herself home. It was ridiculous, not to mention inconsiderate, to wake the chauffeur to have him drive her back to the cottage at the crack of dawn. She didn’t care how much he was paid.
That time of the morning was the loneliest Jessie ever felt. If sometimes she needed to cry on the drive home, she wanted to do so in private. Almost five months of being Joshua’s lover, and she still wasn’t pregnant. The spare room was overflowing with baby stuff. A white wicker crib, a high chair, toys, clothes, books.
She’d tossed out the calendar and the basal thermometer. If rabbits could do it then so could she. The fact that she wasn’t pregnant wasn’t for lack of trying. Joshua couldn’t seem to get enough of her and Jessie was afraid to analyze too closely what was going on in her own mind.
She stuck her client’s paperwork, which she hadn’t even glanced at, back in the file so she could get up and pace. High heel sandals picking up speed from the doorway to the far wall and back again.
“What am I doing?” she asked herself in disgust before flopping inelegantly into the comfortable chair by the window. There was no point anticipating failure. It wasn’t over yet. She still had more than half her “contract” time left. She’d just never thought she’d need this much time.
* * *
TONIGHT THEY WERE attending an engagement party and Jessie was curious to meet his friends.
“How do you know this couple?” She leaned against the brass handrail in the elevator; it felt cool on her bare back. She wore a bias-cut, silk charmeuse dress and huge dull gold earrings that dangled almost to her bare shoulders.