by Rinelle Grey
“I want to do it,” she told him earnestly. “I want to help you.”
And she did.
She’d never had any brothers or sisters, but if she had, she knew she wouldn’t be able to rest while she didn’t know where they were, and most especially not when they might be in trouble.
“It could be dangerous,” Calrian warned, as though trying to convince her to change her mind.
“No kidding,” Rylee joked. But it fell flat when Calrian just stared at her, confused. She gave a humourless laugh. “I know,” she said more seriously. “But you can’t do it without my help.”
“No,” Calrian agreed readily. “But I can wait until I am fully recovered, and do it then.”
“You said that if you did, then the other dragon would be more likely to detect you, right?”
Calrian just nodded, his expression sombre.
“Then going now is the least dangerous option.”
“For me, yes, but not for you.”
Why was he arguing with her? It was like he didn’t want to go.
That was when it hit her. “You’re afraid they might not be there, aren’t you?”
Calrian’s face closed up, and he turned away. “That is certainly a possibility,” he agreed, his voice dull. “But it is not the reason I’m hesitating.”
“What then?”
Calrian didn’t say anything, nor did he turn back towards her. Rylee put her hand on his arm, a current running through her and raising goosebumps over her whole body at the touch. She was just about to push him for answers again when she heard boots stomping on the steps outside.
She’d forgotten to lock the door again after Rowan had left. Her heart thudded in her chest.
“Quick, hide,” she hissed, even as the door was creaking open.
Calrian disappeared into the bedroom as the door swung open, and Rylee was sure her father could see the bedroom door moving. Or he would have, if his eyes weren’t focused on her. “Good, I caught you before you left to go shopping.”
“I’m just getting ready to go,” Rylee said, hoping her voice sounded normal. “Did you need something?”
Hopefully not something from the shops since she wasn’t really intending to go there.
“Actually, I just wanted to talk to you.” Her dad frowned and folded his arms, a sure sign that Rylee wasn’t going to like whatever he was about to say.
“Can it wait until later? I was just about to leave,” she tried.
“No, it can’t,” her dad said firmly.
Rylee held back a sigh and waited.
“Look, I know you think you have to do all this by yourself for some reason, to look after Rowan and keep him safe, but it’s ridiculous. Eric is his father, and he should be here, helping you.” Her father’s jaw jutted out, and it was clear he wasn’t going to budge.
Rylee’s body flooded with adrenaline at the mention of her ex-husband’s name. She searched desperately for something that she could say that would make him drop this conversation and go away. “Look, I told you Eric and I are over. So that’s irrelevant,” she tried.
Her father wasn’t going to give up that easily. “You never did tell me why you left him,” her dad began.
“Yes, I did,” Rylee interrupted. “I said he was controlling and a bully.”
Her dad held up a hand. “Yes, that’s what you said, but that’s not a reason, that’s an excuse.”
Rylee felt her eyes widen, and she stared at him in disbelief. “It sounds like a damn good reason to me. What’s this about?”
“Look, I just don’t think you gave him a chance,” her father insisted. “Did he ever beat you?”
Rylee didn’t even know how to respond to that. She just gaped at him.
Her father took that as an invitation to continue. “He always provided for you and Rowan, he didn’t cheat on you, and he loved you. What more could you want?”
Rylee felt her eyes fill with tears. What she’d wanted was to be treated with respect. But there was no point in even explaining. She didn’t think her father could ever understand. Especially not since he was doing exactly the same thing to her right now. “Look, can you just go?” she forced out, her voice wavering. “I need to go shopping.”
She needed to get him out of here before she burst into tears and further embarrassed herself.
“Just think about it, okay?” her father insisted.
Rylee needed him gone. Now. “Sure, whatever.” She gave him a slight shove towards the door.
Her father took a few more steps, then turned and said, “I just hate seeing you and Rowan alone. You shouldn’t have to struggle. Shouldn’t need to get a job just to put food in your son’s mouth. If you sorted things out with Eric, you wouldn’t need to.”
“Just go,” Rylee said desperately. “Please.”
This time, to her relief, her dad stepped outside the door.
As Rylee pushed it closed, he said again, “Just consider it.”
Rylee closed the door the rest of the way, then leaned against it, breathing deeply, trying to keep the tears at bay.
He didn’t understand. She’d been stupid to come here. Stupid to think that her father would take her side.
Did he think leaving Eric had been easy? That she’d made that decision without agonising over it for months? Years even.
Did he not even realise that she’d spent weeks after she’d left crying and feeling guilty? She might have been over most of it by the time she’d arrived here, but there were still moments when staying positive was hard. It had taken her a long time to believe that she might be able to move on.
And now he’d brought it all up again.
“Are you all right?”
Rylee looked up, startled, to find Calrian staring at her, his expression concerned.
She’d forgotten he was even there.
She didn’t want him to see her like this. It was embarrassing.
She sniffed and wiped her hand across her face. “Yes, I’ll be fine. I just need a minute.”
It was Calrian’s solemn nod that was her undoing. He didn’t push her, didn’t ask her any other questions. Didn’t do anything except stand there.
Unable to stop them any longer, the sobs burst out of Rylee in big, ugly gulps.
Calrian pulled her into his arms, not saying anything, just letting her cry on his strong shoulder.
Chapter 20
Calrian held Rylee while she cried, feeling completely helpless. He wasn’t sure why her father’s opinions were so different from hers. Rylee had said that the man was controlling and a bully, yet her father had argued that he was not. Why did he not see what she saw? Was there something Calrian was missing?
Human relationships were far more confusing than dragon bonds.
He had issues with the conversation he’d overheard, but he doubted those were the same as hers.
He, for some reason, had been consumed by an unreasonable jealousy when her father had suggested she return to her former mate. He had no right to feel such things, but they assailed him none the less.
He’d had to fight the urge to come out of hiding and tell her father that she was his. To insist that this other man could not be worthy of her, and that her father should never mention his name again.
The only thing that had stopped him was the fact that this other man was Rowan’s father.
A man who shared a child with a woman had first rights among dragons, always. Even if the couple were not mated, it was unacceptable to interfere in the relationship until it was clear it was completely over.
Was it possible that Rylee was uncertain it was finished? She seemed to want it to be, but Calrian had no idea what constituted something being done for humans. Last night she had seemed worried about Rowan missing his father. If there was any chance of that relationship being salvaged, he shouldn’t interfere.
And yet, he could not ignore the fact that Rylee had claimed the man had been a bully. Certainly not a point in his favour. That thought remi
nded him of her question earlier, about what happened when a dragon made a mistake in choosing a mate.
Did it mean she felt that she’d made a mistake in choosing Eric?
Her father clearly disagreed. He’d said the man loved Rylee. That was not enough, obviously. Ultrian had claimed to love Sarian, and look what he had done? Calrian could easily believe her mate loved her. Rylee was obviously very loveable.
The question was, what did Rylee feel?
She’d made it quite clear earlier that humans prioritised love over more practical matters. If she still felt something for her previous mate, then Calrian would not interfere, no matter what she said she wanted.
Was there a possibility that her tears were an indication that she regretted leaving her former mate? If so, then she must also be regretting the bond that tied them together and made her feel desire for him against her will.
He winced, aware of how he would feel if he were in a similar situation.
Of course, if he were mated, then he would not feel desire for another, even under the influence of the Mesmer bond. So the situation wasn’t exactly the same, but he wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.
All he knew was that Rylee was desperately upset, and not only did he not know how to make her feel better, he was worried his presence could be making her feel worse.
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked helplessly, even though it was the last thing he wanted and even though he knew it wasn’t even possible. Maybe though, getting angry at him would make her feel better.
Rylee looked up at him, her tear stained face looking confused. “Why would I want you to leave?” She seemed honestly bewildered. But at least it had made her stop crying.
“Your father…” Calrian waved a hand. “He seemed to think you should return to your mate…”
“He is not my mate.” Rylee’s eyes flashed. It appeared he had succeeded in making her angry, though he wasn’t sure it had improved the situation any. “You think the same as him, do you? I suppose that makes sense, since you dragons mate for life. You can’t imagine any reason one might leave a mate. But let me tell you, humans are different. If someone treats us badly, we don’t hang around. We don’t have any magical bond making us love someone despite their nastiness.”
The vehemence to her words reassured him of one thing, if Rylee had any feelings for her former mate, they did not appear to be positive.
“Not at all,” he said firmly. “No dragon would ever mate with someone who treated them badly. But… a dragon’s family would never accept a mate treating someone badly. Why would your father think you should return to your mate if he didn’t respect you?”
Rylee’s mouth twisted, and her face grew grim. “Dad doesn’t see what Eric did as mistreating me. So long as he didn’t beat me, or lock me up, then he doesn’t think I have any right to ‘complain’ about Eric’s behaviour. And, of course, Eric was very good at being the model husband whenever anyone else was around.”
Her face was pale, but determined. “Don’t any of your dragons ever make a mistake and mate the wrong person?”
Calrian considered her question for a moment, trying not to be distracted by the fact that she still stood within his arms. He was half afraid to move for fear that she’d realise it herself and pull back.
He wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. Or more accurately, he was afraid the answer would make her angrier. So instead he asked, “What did yo… Eric, do, that made you feel you’d made a mistake?” He wouldn’t call the man her mate again. She’d made it clear she didn’t regard him so.
Rylee looked away from his face then down at his chest, and her fingers ran circles over his skin, sending a shiver of desire through him. He did his best not to give in to it. To instead focus on the problems she was having.
But it wasn’t easy.
“Eric… well, he always thought he knew what was best,” she began.
Calrian nodded encouragingly. He’d known a few dragons like that in his time. Usually they were not the most popular in the clan, but most of them did seem to find mates, eventually. And finding a mate usually seemed to change them for the better.
“At first, well, I didn’t mind it. I thought it meant that he cared about me.” Rylee’s voice was quiet, but Calrian’s dragon enhanced hearing had no trouble picking it up. “That he loved me. And at first, it wasn’t so bad. He’d insist on walking me home at night or want me to order the more expensive meal if we were eating out. I thought it was sweet.”
Rylee heaved a sigh. “But after we were married, he changed. Well, maybe he just stopped hiding it. He started insisting that I only use certain soaps and shampoos, and then that I couldn’t eat certain foods. We were trying to get pregnant, so I thought it was about that, and I let it go. I thought he was just being a bit paranoid.”
Her body was tense, and she didn’t meet his eyes as she continued. “But it only grew worse the longer I did nothing. By the time I left, he was telling me what time to wake up and what time to go to sleep, dictating what I ate, what I watched on TV, everything.”
Her voice shook, and Calrian wanted to shush her, to do anything to stop the pain he could feel pouring off her soul. But somehow, he sensed that she needed to get this out, to tell someone.
To have someone believe her.
So he listened, nodding and making encouraging sounds.
Rylee kept talking, her words tumbling over themselves in their need to escape. “I kept denying that there was anything wrong, telling myself that his actions only showed concern and love for me. Even my family, Dad, my friends, they all thought Eric was great. He could charm them, see. And… well, it took me a while to realise it, but anyone he couldn’t charm, he’d forced away from me long ago.”
“It was only when I realised that he was doing the same thing to Rowan that it really sunk in what was happening. When he told Rowan that a good friend of his was manipulating him, and that he should stop speaking to him and Rowan listened, I knew I had to do something. So I left. That was two months ago.”
She broke off then, and Calrian could feel her chest heaving as she took a few breaths.
“It’s all right, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he said softly. “I believe you.”
He’d only meant to spare her the distress, but she looked up at him, her eyes grateful. “You do?”
She sounded surprised, and Calrian really wasn’t sure why. “Why would you lie about how he treated you?”
Her expression twisted. “Dad obviously thinks I would.”
Calrian couldn’t argue with her assertion, so instead he said, “Well, I don’t.”
Rylee gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you,” she said softly.
They stared at each other then, their faces only inches away, and Calrian’s breath caught in his throat. There was something about her that stirred his soul. More so than any dragon he’d ever seen. It didn’t matter that her eyes were red from crying or her skin was wan. For some reason, just looking at her spoke to his heart in a way he’d never experienced before.
That was when it hit him. This wasn’t just Mesmer fuelled desire. This was something more.
Not that his desire had disappeared, the Mesmer bond ensured it was always present, but it was a dull ache, certainly not at the forefront of his mind right now. Certainly not affecting his choices and actions. Whatever he was feeling for Rylee, it was overshadowing the Mesmer bond.
It was stronger than it.
All he knew was that he wanted to hold her and protect her. To keep her safe and stop anyone who tried to tell her she was wrong from ever doing so again.
But he knew immediately that he couldn’t do that. That if he tried, he’d be no better than this… Eric. Or her father. Rylee needed to make these choices for herself. He knew she was more than capable.
She just needed someone to believe in her.
“You must do whatever you believe is right for you and Rowan,” Calrian said, certain of t
hat at least. “Your father’s wishes in this matter are irrelevant.”
Rylee stared at him for a moment, her head tilted to one side. “Of course they are,” she said, as though the idea was a revelation. Then more strongly she said, “Of course what my father thinks about Eric is irrelevant.” She gave him a brilliant smile.
He could sense the moment she became aware that she was still in his arms. Her body went stiff for a moment, and Calrian knew he should release her.
But he held her just a few seconds longer than he should have, the Mesmer bond and his own tenuous feelings for her clouding his judgement for a brief moment.
“Thank you,” Rylee said softly. Her body relaxed in his arms, and she stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. Then she stepped back.
Letting go of her wasn’t as bad as he had feared.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to kiss him again and again, and in far more intimate places than his cheek, and it certainly wasn’t that he wished to let her go.
But his heart was calm and satisfied, even if his body wasn’t, because he could sense her strength and confidence. And he knew that he’d helped her achieve that.
Chapter 21
The feeling of relief Rylee felt was disproportionate to what had just happened. Calrian hadn’t offered any solutions to her problems, and it wasn’t like she didn’t need them anyway. Clearly staying here with her father wasn’t going to work long term. But to get away, she needed a job and the money it would bring.
Calrian didn’t have solutions to any of that. He couldn’t. He’d just listened.
And believed her.
She realised that until that moment, no one else had.
Eric had cut her off from any friends who might have been willing to take her side long ago, and even if he hadn’t, she suspected that they would only have said, ‘I told you so’. Because they had.
She just hadn’t been able to listen.
Her father had offered her this place to stay, but it had always been with the idea that she needed time to cool off, and that she’d return to Eric once she came to her senses. The conversation he’d just had with her only reinforced that.