by Rinelle Grey
“Come on, we need to go.” Someone tugging at his arm pulled him out of his stupor, and when he looked up, he saw Rylee.
Beautiful, sweet, caring Rylee.
Would he fail her too? She offered him another chance. Another life. A life where he could start over. But Calrian wasn’t sure he deserved it. He wasn’t sure he could give her what she needed. He wasn’t even sure what that was anymore.
Rylee’s voice grew more urgent. “Calrian, we need to go before they come back.” She tugged at his arm again. Calrian was pretty sure she was using all her strength, but it did little more than lift his arm. “Come on. I can’t get down from here without you.”
That penetrated the haze, and his feeling of responsibility kicked back in. Right. Rylee had come here because of him, and even if he didn’t care what happened to him, he couldn’t let Ultrima hurt her. He needed to get her back to her home, back to her son.
He owed her that.
“Of course, let’s go.” Calrian put a hand over hers on his arm and forced himself to stand up. With each step, it became a little easier, and a little more of the numbness faded.
He’d think about the pain and loss later. Right now he needed to save Rylee.
In the back of his mind, he suspected saving Rylee might just be what saved him.
Chapter 46
Rylee was relieved to see Calrian responding again. For a moment there, she’d thought the shock of finding out his clan was gone would incapacitate him. And no matter how much her heart ached for him, she knew what they needed to do right now was get out of the enemy dragon lair.
So she kept her own sadness and sympathy for his pain at bay while she watched him shuck his clothes and transform on the ledge.
She glanced back towards the tunnel, half afraid Ultrima would change his mind and come after them, but there was no sign of the enemy dragon.
Rylee wasn’t sure why he was letting them go, but she wasn’t going to argue.
“Climb on,” Calrian told her, and Rylee quickly did.
The flight down to the car was quick and silent and the drive back to Mungaloo was long and silent. Rylee glanced over at Calrian, probably more than she should, but each time she snuck a peek, he was simply staring out the windscreen, his face blank.
She wanted to talk to him, wanted to try to comfort him, but it would be hard in the car, and she needed to get back and retrieve her letter from Martha and pick Rowan up from school.
There would be time for comforting later, once they were safely back at the lair.
Retrieving her letter from Martha and telling her that Calrian was sick and they’d be back to look at the caravan in a few days was easy and uneventful, but when they pulled up in front of the school for Rowan to get in, she could see from her son’s tearstained face that his day had been far from uneventful.
“What’s wrong?” Rylee asked in concern.
Even Calrian looked over at Rowan, though he didn’t say anything.
“Nothing.” Rowan swiped at his face as he climbed into the backseat and tossed his bag on the floor. “I just don’t ever want to come back here again.”
Rylee winced. The last thing she needed right now was another problem to deal with. Rowan had been dealing with bullies since they’d arrived here a few months ago. Her sensitive, kind, caring son really didn’t fit in at the small rural school, but it wasn’t like she had any other choices.
But as she looked over at Calrian, seeing a hint of concern on his face, she wondered if this might just pull him out of his stupor.
“Was it Brent and Robbie again?” she asked sympathetically as she pulled back out and headed towards the lair.
Her mention of the two bullies’ names unlocked the dam in Rowan. “Why are they so mean, Mum? I don’t bother them. I was just eating my lunch, and they came over and started calling me names and saying I’d better do what they say or they’d beat me up.”
For some reason the interchange reminded Rylee of Ultrima. That was essentially the way he’d treated Calrian. Apparently bullies didn’t all disappear once you were out of school.
“Did you tell the teacher?” Rylee asked. She wished she could convince the school to do something more about the bullies, but they just shrugged and made comments about boys being boys.
“That never helps, Mum,” Rowan complained. “You know that. All that happens is they call me a tattletale.”
“The only thing people like that understand is someone standing up to them.” Calrian’s voice was quiet and emotionless, but Rylee was glad he had at least said something, even if she didn’t agree with him.
“They’re bigger than Rowan,” she said firmly. “Standing up to them will only get him hurt. Bullies are just after attention. If you ignore them, then you’re boring and they go pick on someone else.”
“Which doesn’t stop them being bullies,” Calrian said firmly. This time his voice was more normal. “There’s only one way they learn, and that’s if someone teaches them.”
“Well, I wish someone would teach them,” Rowan muttered. “Then maybe they’d leave me alone.” His voice was low and a little whiny, but he didn’t sound quite so distressed.
“Let’s change the subject,” Rylee said firmly. She understood Calrian was feeling down, but she really didn’t want him to convince Rowan to fight back against his bullies just because he didn’t stand a chance against his.
There was silence in the car for a few long moments, and then the ever perceptive Rowan piped up. “Is something wrong?”
Rylee hesitated. Calrian’s grief was still raw, and he probably didn’t feel like talking about it right now, especially not with her inquisitive son, but before she could brush Rowan off, Calrian spoke.
“I just found out my clan is no longer alive.”
His words were matter of fact, but no one in the car could miss the raw pain in his voice.
Rylee couldn’t help reaching out a hand, putting it on his leg, and giving it a rub. It was an inadequate gesture, but it was all she could manage while driving.
“I’m really sorry to hear that, Calrian,” Rowan said gravely. “But…” he paused, then the words came out in a rush. “I know Mum and I aren’t dragons, and we can never hope to replace your clan, but… well… maybe we could be your family now, if you like?”
His tone was a mixture of hope and sympathy. And he didn’t stop there.
“I’d really like you to be my new father,” he said. “And I’m pretty sure Mum would like you to stick around too, wouldn’t you, Mum?” He looked at her hopefully.
Rylee couldn’t help giving a chuckle at that, even though there were tears in her eyes. “I’d like that very much,” she agreed. “But don’t push Calrian right now, Rowan. He has a lot to take in.”
But when she looked over at Calrian, he was smiling too, albeit rather sadly. “I already think of both of you as my closest friends,” he said solemnly. “And I would love to call you my family.”
Rylee felt her throat closing up at his words. She squeezed his leg, not having any words to express how she was feeling and pretty sure that even if she did, she wouldn’t be able to get them out without crying.
Her heart ached for Calrian’s loss, and at the same time, was almost bursting with joy at the thought of him being part of their family. She never thought she’d want to try a relationship again, not after Eric, but Calrian had shown her there were good men in the world.
It was a very strange mix of emotions.
Then again, it was a very strange day.
As Rylee turned onto the road leading to Calrian’s lair, she couldn’t help feeling hopeful for the future. It didn’t matter if they were living here in the lair or in the caravan at Martha’s. She knew if they were all together, then nothing else mattered.
Calrian was struggling right now, and it would take him time to get over the loss of his clan, but Rylee wanted to be there to help him, to support him through this, and hopefully to show him that out of the loss something
worthwhile could happen.
Chapter 47
The warmth in his lair as both Rylee and Rowan exuded understanding and caring helped make up for the fact that it was empty and that it would never be full of the laughter of Rian dragons again.
There was a part of Calrian that still felt numb and distant. Perhaps it always would. A part of his life felt like it was over. He knew he would never see his clan again, never have the chance to wake his brothers and sisters.
A part of him would never get over their loss and would miss them always.
But there was also a part of him looking forward to the future with Rylee and Rowan. A part of him that knew the devastating sadness would fade into a dull ache.
And he felt guilty about that.
Realistically, he knew his clan, the dragons he’d known before he entered the Mesmer, had all died long ago anyway. The clan he’d lost now was filled with dragons he didn’t even know. But it didn’t matter. Even if he didn’t know them, they were still his family, and he missed them just the same.
His brothers and sisters—that hurt even more. He might take comfort in the fact that they weren’t dead, but as a single dragon alone, he had no chance of defeating the Trima dragons guarding their Mesmer chambers. He had been lucky Rowan had found him, lucky the Trima dragon guarding his chamber had been asleep.
Without his assistance, it was unlikely his brothers and sisters would ever wake.
A part of him felt like he should still be searching for ways to wake them. They were still alive, and to abandon them was almost as heinous a crime as failing to keep his clan safe. If he could wake just one of them, maybe they would have a chance of fighting off the Trima clan to wake the rest.
But even attempting to wake one of them risked his own life. Or worse, Rylee or Rowan’s. He was sure they would gladly help him, but he’d already risked Rylee’s life once. He wasn’t sure he could do that again.
And to add insult to injury, if he managed to wake Sarian, he was sure Ultrima would pursue her relentlessly. His brothers and sisters had not been enough to protect her last time, even with the help of their clan. Without them, they stood no chance. No, if he woke his siblings, he would be waking them to war and death.
Calrian could see no point to that.
His arguments were all true and valid, but that didn’t stop him from feeling guilty. Maybe he always would. But he couldn’t wallow in it. He was awake and alive and he had a life to live. He cared deeply about Rylee, and even the guilt wasn’t enough to stop him wanting to be with her.
He glanced over at her as she turned meat in a pan over the fire. Rowan sat beside her, telling her some happier story about school, and his heart warmed… he may have lost one family, but he had gained another, and even though he felt guilty about it, the new family in front of him eased the pain of his loss considerably.
It had been sweet of Rowan to ask him to join their family and sweet of Rylee to agree. Calrian hoped they weren’t just saying it because he was sad. He hoped it was really what Rylee wanted. He would ask her later, once Rowan was in bed.
His mind turned back to Rowan’s problems at school, and he frowned. Rylee had seemed upset when he’d told the boy he needed to stand up for himself, but it was the only way. Bullies, like Ultrima, didn’t respect anyone who just kept their head down and ignored them. Because in order to do it properly, to escape their interest, you had to not be afraid, and that lack of fear only came with confidence.
But how could Calrian help the boy get that confidence?
An idea occurred to him, and the more he thought about it, the more he was sure it was perfect.
Rylee looked up from the fire. “Calrian, can you find the plates for me? Dinner is ready.”
Calrian let himself get swept up in Rylee’s nightly rituals, trying not to think too hard about his lost clan, trying to focus on the here and now. Because no matter what he had lost to gain this, this was something worthwhile. Rylee and Rowan were wonderful people, a family he could be happy with.
After dinner, Calrian offered to wash the dishes for Rylee, and as he had hoped, Rowan offered to help. Rylee watched them carefully for a few moments, just as she had done all night, before nodding and going to start setting up the beds.
Her attention warmed Calrian’s heart. She truly cared about him and was worried about his grief and wanted to help. He was lucky to have found her.
And he would devote his life to helping her and making her life easier. That would ease some of the pain at not being able to help his clan.
No, he wasn’t going to think about that, not now. He was going to focus on the here and now.
With that thought in mind, he took the stack of dishes down to the bathing cave, where he washed them in a tub of water from the heated spring. Rowan kept him company, not trying to have a conversation, just drying and stacking the plates in companionable silence. He was a good kid, and though Calrian knew nothing of being a father, he was determined to do his best by his hew son.
Once the dishes were done, Rowan moved to pick them up to return them to the main room, but Calrian stopped him with a hand on his arm. “I wanted to talk to you, Son.”
Rowan looked up at him, and a smile slowly spread across his face. “Does that mean I can call you dad?”
Calrian hesitated. The idea warmed his heart, but he wasn’t quite ready for it yet. “Maybe. I’d better talk to your mother first.”
Rowan nodded, but his grin widened. “She won’t say no. She likes you.”
Calrian was pretty sure the boy was right. But he wasn’t going to assume.
“That wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about,” he said instead. “I actually wanted to discuss your problem at school.”
Rowan’s smile disappeared and was replaced with a frown. “I wish I didn’t have to go to school. It’s no fun.” He looked up at Calrian. “Do dragons go to school?”
“Not the same way you do, no,” Calrian admitted. “But we do have to deal with bullies. They’re not exclusive to school. Bullies are everywhere, and if you don’t deal with them, they’ll always be able to make you miserable.”
Rowan looked uneasy at that. “Mum said I shouldn’t fight them. That it will only make me the same as them. And I don’t want to fight.”
Calrian nodded. “Your mum is right. Fighting is always a last resort, best to avoid it if you can. But that doesn’t mean you have to just accept what they’re throwing at you. You can stand up to them without having to fight, just like…” he searched around for a comparison, and when the obvious one popped up, he was tempted to ignore it.
He didn’t want to talk about Ultrima, his emotions were still too raw. But it was the perfect example.
“I faced a bully today, and your mum stood beside me,” he said solemnly.
Rowan stared at him wide eyed. “What sort of bully?” His voice was breathless, as though he suspected some exciting story.
And he wasn’t far off the mark.
“It was the dragon who destroyed my clan,” Calrian said solemnly.
“Mum faced up to a dragon?” Rowan’s eyes were as round as the saucers he held.
“Yes, you should have seen her,” Calrian said, memories of Rylee’s bravery outshining his grief. Maybe he could make this story about her, not himself. “She had no hope of being stronger than him. She was a human against a dragon, but that didn’t stop her.”
Rowan’s eyes shone. “Mum? Really?”
Calrian nodded. “She was as fierce as any dragon, and she told him he was wrong to his face.” He smiled at the memory. “She has the heart of a dragon, even if she is a human.”
Rowan’s face was alight with excitement. This was the moment.
Then Rowan’s face fell. “I wish I was brave like Mum.”
“You are,” Calrian said firmly. “And because you are, there’s something I’d like you to help me with.”
An uneasy frown came over Rowan’s face, but he didn’t back down. “What is it?”
“I’ll need to change into my dragon form,” Calrian warned him. “I know there’s not a lot of room in here, but it should be enough. Are you okay with that?”
Rowan didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
Calrian shifted, growing a tail, wings, scales, and huge dragon teeth. He bent his head down near Rowan and bared his jaws. “I have a loose tooth,” he explained into Rowan’s mind. “The front left one. If you wiggle them a little, you can find it.”
He’d wondered if the boy would hesitate. A full sized dragon, even a friendly one, was an intimidating sight. And his rows of teeth were large and sharp. But Rowan didn’t even blink. He just bent over, wiggling each tooth in turn until he found the right one. “This one?”
“Yes,” Calrian said, glad he didn’t have to move his mouth to use dragon speech. “Can you pull it out for me?”
“Me?” Rowan pulled back far enough that Calrian could see his wide eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It won’t hurt,” Calrian promised. “It’s ready to fall out. Dragons lose teeth all the time. I’ll grow a new one. But I can’t get it out myself.”
Rowan searched Calrian’s dragon face, then nodded. “I’ll try,” he said gamely. He reached forwards, grasped the tooth in his hand, and pulled as hard as he could.
The tooth popped out, just as Calrian had promised it would, with little effort and pain.
Rowan stared at the tooth in his hand as Calrian transformed back and pulled on his clothes. Then he turned and smiled at Rowan. “Thanks.”
Rowan held the tooth out to him. “Here, do you want it?”
“You keep it,” Calrian told him. “Maybe it will remind you that you don’t need to be a dragon or be big and strong to stand up to your fears. You have the heart of a dragon, and if you let that shine, no one will ever be able to bully you.”
Rowan stared at the tooth in wonder for a moment, and then put it in his pocket. When he turned back to Calrian, his face was different. The uncertainty and fear had faded away. He looked at Calrian for a moment, then to Calrian’s surprise, he threw his arms around him. His voice was muffled as he said, “You’re the best dad ever.”