The thrill lasted only a nanosecond before she reminded herself how her gorgeous husband had removed himself from her bed. Even on their wedding night. The dark cloud that had shadowed her all morning returned.
I didn’t get married to live like a nun, Tanner Redmond. You and I are going to have a serious talk after everyone leaves, and if it takes tying you to the bedposts, I’m going to—
“Oh, okay. Well, I hate to do this, but I have to go to work for a little while. There’s some business I need to take care of.”
“On Mother’s Day?” She didn’t mean to sound so incredulous, but she couldn’t mask her disappointment. It just slipped out.
“Yes, I’m sorry. I know it’s Mother’s Day, but just so you’re aware, the nature of my job sometimes requires me to work on Sundays. Sometimes that’s the only day my students are available for lessons.”
“And you didn’t know this before now? I mean, we have a house full of company, many who have come a long way to help us celebrate our wedding—”
Sham! Sham! Sham! The word blared in her head like a siren.
“I meant to tell you earlier, but with all the excitement over the wedding, it slipped my mind. I’m really sorry, Jordana. Please try to understand.”
Oh, she understood all right. She was the queen of demanding jobs. After all, she’d practically been married to hers before Tanner came in and plucked her out of it. And now he was expecting her to be at his beck and call and understand when he decided to waltz out at a moment’s notice.
Through the fog of her irritation, she became aware of Emily glancing back and forth between the two of them. She didn’t want to get into it any deeper in front of her sister. Ha! And risk exposing the truth that this marriage wasn’t as perfect as everyone might believe?
“What about your mother and brother and sister?”
“Parker is going to hang out with your brothers and watch a little baseball on television. I thought maybe you girls could go downtown for a while.”
“Hey, why don’t we go down to the Stocking Stitch and visit Maria? When we were out to lunch at Red, you were saying you wanted to learn to knit. Now would be the perfect time to go. I’m sure Maria would love it if we all descended upon her.”
Jordana had met Maria Mendoza for the first time last night at the wedding. A fixture in Red Rock, Maria’s knitting shop was the hub of friendship and gossip in Red Rock. Actually, the longer the idea sank in, the better it sounded.
“It’s Mother’s Day, surely Maria’s not working today.”
“Of course she’s working. She’s always at the Stocking Stitch.”
Jordana took a deep breath. It really was a good idea, as much as she hated to admit it, she cursed her pregnancy hormones and the wild ride they’d been taking her on since day one. Gaaah, she desperately wanted to get a handle on them. Maybe knitting would be a therapeutic means of doing just that. Not to mention a good place to take the ladies so they could escape sports central, which the guys were getting ready to create.
“How does that sound?” Tanner asked. His voice had lost the challenging edge it had carried before. As Jordana nodded her concession, she even thought she saw a hint of…what…? There was something in his eyes.
Something.
It was that same something that kept reeling her back to him and driving her crazy with want, when common sense told her to run like the wind from this less-than-perfect situation.
“Good,” Tanner said, and pulled her into a hug. “Don’t worry, I won’t be gone long. Okay?”
Well, she didn’t exactly have a choice, did she? No, she didn’t. So, this afternoon, she would occupy herself and their guests at the Stocking Stitch and keep up the front. But tonight, when she and Tanner were alone, she intended to lay some new ground rules for their marriage.
Chapter Eleven
Tanner hated arguing with Jordana. But the woman had a stubborn streak that wouldn’t bend. Actually, that wasn’t completely true. She’d conceded this afternoon, hadn’t she?
A wave of regret washed over him as he steered the Tahoe into the garage at home. He was the one who had been in the wrong this time. After thinking about it for a while, he could see that clearly. He should’ve told her he had an appointment before he was walking out the door. In fact, he should’ve just rescheduled it.
But when he’d scheduled it, he had no idea it would be the day after his wedding and that he’d have a house full of company celebrating Mother’s Day. Because of his trip to Atlanta, the wedding plans and the day-to-day business of Redmond Flight School, he and Max Allen had been having a dickens of a time aligning their schedules so they could discuss the possibility of Max coming on as an official member of the Redmond team. If they hadn’t met today, it would have been another ten days before they could have carved out a mutually convenient time to sit down and talk business.
He hadn’t had time to explain it to Jordana, but she was one of the key reasons it was so important that he talked to Max sooner rather than later. He was sure once he gave her the details, she would see the beauty in why he had to leave: this afternoon, he had offered Max Allen a job, which would ease some of the load off Tanner.
It was only a part-time and provisional marketing and office manager position to start off. But based on the way Max had already proven himself as he’d worked around the school to earn his flying lessons while he worked full-time over at the Double Crown Ranch, Tanner had a gut feeling Max would soon make it worthwhile to bring him on full-time.
He couldn’t wait to share the good news with his wife. On the way home, he’d even stopped at the garden shop and picked up a present for her: a pink rosebush. She’d been talking about how eager she was to get her hands in the dirt out in the garden, and Tanner figured it would be her first plant.
He’d felt so bad about the way he’d messed up today—he hadn’t even gotten the mother of his unborn child a Mother’s Day present. That realization had reached out and slapped him in the face not long after he’d left the house for his appointment with Max. So, when he’d stopped by the florist on the way home, he’d picked up a dozen roses. He’d had a brainstorm: since he was guilty of two relationship crimes he wanted to bring her two I’m sorry presents—a dozen red roses and a rosebush that would last forever.
Since it was nearly seven o’clock and dinnertime, he’d also stopped and picked up some Chinese takeout and a bottle of her favorite papaya juice for dinner. All the cars were gone, and he was hoping they would finally have some time alone. He’d made arrangements to spend time with his mother and siblings tomorrow before they left, but right now his soul needed some peace and quiet and some uninterrupted time with his wife.
Armed with the bouquet of roses in one hand and the container with the rosebush tucked under his other arm, he opened the door to a quiet house. There was a light on in the hallway, but the rest of the place was dark.
“Jordana, hello? I’m home.”
There was no answer.
He set the rosebush in the hall and went back outside to the sack of Chinese and juice. As he stepped back into the quiet house, for a fleeting moment, a flash of fear shot through him. That maybe she’d been so angry with him that she’d decided to exercise that damn escape clause she’d insisted on before she’d agreed to marry him. But then as he made his way toward the kitchen to unload the dinner, he heard strains of classical music coming from the vicinity of the master bedroom.
Ahhh, maybe she hadn’t heard him when he’d called her name. Or, maybe she had and was still mad at him. Clutching the bouquet of roses, he headed toward the back part of the house.
“Jordana?”
“I’m in here,” she called. “Come in.”
He pushed open the door and hesitantly entered. The bedroom and bath had been remodeled into one with an
open floor plan, and as he stood in the center of the room turning in a slow circle, he caught sight of her in the bathtub.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, turning away. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
As he turned to leave, she called him back. “Tanner, wait.”
He stopped in his tracks, clutching the bouquet, but kept his back turned to her.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt. I can come back after you’re finished.”
He heard the sound of splashing, as if she were getting out of the tub. Then she appeared in front of him wearing a silky robe that clung to her gorgeous body, beads of water dripping from the exposed skin that the robe didn’t cover.
Arousal hot and urgent shot through him and he had to suck in a deep breath to keep from reaching out and pulling her into his arms.
“What’s wrong with you? Err, what’s wrong with us? Or me?” Her voice shook so badly he thought she was going to burst into tears.
“Tanner, do you find me so unattractive that you can’t even look at me, much less sleep with me like a husband sleeps with his wife?”
He blinked. It took a moment for the meaning of what she was saying to fully sink in.
She thought he didn’t want her?
Oh, hell no.
* * *
Tanner was so good to her in every way. She couldn’t understand why he was holding back in this area of their relationship. Unless it was that he simply didn’t find her attractive.
The possibility crushed her. She’d come so far trusting him—and he’d lived up to all that he’d promised.
Except in the bedroom. And that promise had been unspoken, given the night they’d made love.
Even so, she intended to hold him to it because she desperately wanted more of what he’d given her that first night. The only problem was that somewhere along the way he’d changed his mind.
As Jordana watched him stand there frozen, his eyes locked to hers as if he couldn’t bear to look down, she thought this just might be one of the most humiliating moments of her life.
The man to whom she’d given her virginity found her so repulsive he couldn’t even speak. Was it because she’d gotten so fat? She was almost five months along, she’d just popped and—okay, she’d admit it, she was feeling sort of insecure. When a man refused to sleep with a woman it tended to have that effect. Or at least it did on her.
Had her lovemaking been that bad? Sure, she was inexperienced, but despite it being her first time, it had been good for her. She’d wanted him again. Judging from his reaction, she’d believed it had been good for him, too.
Obviously she was sadly mistaken.
It would be the hardest thing she’d ever done, but tomorrow she would pack her bags and fly back to Atlanta with her parents. She could handle divorce proceedings from there.
“Just leave,” she whispered, barely able to say the words.
As she turned to walk away, she felt Tanner’s hand on her shoulder.
“Is that what you think? That I’m not attracted to you? I would laugh if that weren’t so far from the truth.”
“No, I believe my exact words were that you are repulsed by me. Does that better describe the situation?”
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out until he gave his head a quick shake that dislodged the block.
“That is most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You are the most desirable, attractive, drive-a-man-out-of-his-damn-mind-with-want woman I have ever met. It has been killing me to have you so close and not have you. But sex was not part of our arrangement, and I wasn’t about to force you into anything.”
“Arrangement? Is that all this is to you? A business deal?”
She didn’t understand what kind of game he was playing. So, she tried to pull out of his grasp, but he wouldn’t let her.
“Jordana, you have no idea how difficult it’s been to keep my hands off you. But I promised you from the beginning I would never force you into anything.”
What? Why—
“Why would you want to keep your hands off me unless you couldn’t stand to touch me? This sounds like one great big sorry excuse.”
He blew out a breath that sounded sort of like he’d been holding the weight of the world on his shoulders and sort of like her question…amused him?
Again, she tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her go. “I have been keeping my hands off you because of the intense passion we shared that one night we were together. I’ve been so afraid if I made love to you we’d risk hurting the baby.”
Now it was her turn to shake her head and look at him dumbfounded. “What? That’s crazy.”
He frowned. “No, it’s not. It’s using common sense. That’s one of the main reasons I suggested we have separate rooms, because I knew if I even tried to sleep next to you, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. That’s how much I want you.”
As the sincerity of his words sank in, she couldn’t deny that it felt good to have someone so protective of her and the baby.
“The doctor assured me that there was no harm in gentle lovemaking. In fact, he said it would be a really good idea if it helped relax me. Believe me, right about now, it would be a really good idea.”
They both stood there transfixed. He looked unsure of what to do. So, she said, “You said you’d never force me into anything I wasn’t ready for, right?”
He nodded.
“Well, please, please don’t force me into a marriage without a physical relationship.”
She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment because what she was thinking was difficult to put into words. Then it all came out in one rushing gush. “We are not doing anything wrong. We are married, after all, and the doctor told me that it is fine for the baby if we have sex. What I need more than anything right now is to be in my husband’s arms—in your bed. Tanner, I want you.”
He’d laughed, but somehow the mirth in his voice didn’t make it all the way to his eyes. There was that look again. That gaze of his that reached all the way down into her soul and plucked the heartstrings at the very core of her. And the next thing she knew he’d pulled her into his arms and was holding her. He’d been holding a bouquet of roses a moment ago, but they were on the ground now.
She didn’t care as long as she was in his arms. That was all that mattered.
His mouth found hers and came down on it hard and fast.
She was so full of want and need for him, feeling him respond to her was the most powerful aphrodisiac she could imagine existed. She caressed the outline of his shoulders, tracing the sinewy cords of muscle down his arms. She let her hands linger on his biceps, savoring the feel of his firm muscles. Then she slid her hands back and over the expanse of his back, working her way down until her fingers stopped at the vee of his waist. She reveled in the feel of how his broad back narrowed at the waist, at the sheer masculine width and breadth of him.
The movement pressed the most intimate parts of their bodies together, and even though he stood there unmoving, she could feel his desire pressing into her.
Even if he was standing perfectly still, she knew as she gazed up at him, searching his face, his eyes, his lips, that he wanted her, too.
He slid his hands up her arms, until he found the collar of her robe and pushed the silky fabric until it slid off her shoulders and down her arms. Pulling her tighter against him, fully enfolding her into his body. “Please tell me you’re not still worried?”
Rather than answering, he showed her. He ravished her mouth, bold and hungry—there was nothing tentative between them like there had been since their wedding. The way he was kissing and touching her made it feel like the first time, when they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. It was as if every brush of lips
and tongue, every tender caress and sweep of fingertips had been saved up for this moment.
Without taking his mouth off hers, he backed her across the bedroom, and as she felt the edge of the bed at the bend of her knees, Tanner eased her down onto the mattress.
He tugged at the belt of the robe and then pushed it away so that she lay naked in the moonlight. When he took a nipple into his mouth, need coursed through her, hot and greedy.
It had been so long, she was surprised she didn’t melt under the heat of his hands. It was the feel of those hands on her body, the touch of his rugged fingers on her sensitive skin that kept her focused, though just barely, and made her arch under him, claiming exactly what she wanted. The world seemed to fade away as Tanner explored her body with his mouth and hands. He kissed and teased and tormented her, taking her to the brink of places she hadn’t visited since their first time together.
She tugged his shirt over his head, then slid her hands between them and worked his zipper, then with his help, she tugged away his pants until they lay there, skin on skin, and there was nothing between them except pure desire.
He parted her legs and she was hungry for the feel of him. She needed every masculine inch of him on top of her, the sexy weight of him bearing down on her. The mere feel of him made her body shudder. The only thing that could be better was if he was inside her. As if reading her mind, he nestled himself into the space between her legs and gently moved his hips forward.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She nodded.
“I want to take it slowly. And you have to tell me if something doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”
With a single stroke he entered her.
Jordana gasped from the sheer pleasure of him inside her.
His breathing rasped against her temple. He pulled out then thrust a little deeper.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’ve never felt better,” she whispered, barely able to whisper the words.
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