Peter wanted to be left alone, but he could already hear Katy chiding him for being rude to the father of a sick child, so he mumbled, “I’m sorry to hear that.”
William didn’t seem to notice how forced his words were, however, because he kept talking. “Aye. Well, she’s on the mend now, thank Atharo, and they should be safely home tomorrow. I—” He turned and looked at Peter. “What’s wrong, lad?”
Peter didn’t want to talk to this man. He wanted to talk to his father. But in that moment, when Peter would have given anything to have his father back, he decided he didn’t care. He felt dirty, as though he’d been used by not one, but two sides. Even more importantly, however, he needed to do something with the sickening weight now sitting like a rock in his stomach. He needed someone who would understand. Karel’s child hadn’t arrived, and Shauna wasn’t even married. Sebastian still had yet to say a single word to him outside of a group setting.
But this man was a father many times over, and a dedicated one at that. With this realization came the revelation that the weight was too much for Peter to bear alone.
“What…” Why did he sound like he was choking? “What did it feel like when you found out you were going to be a father?”
Though he had meant the question to be vague, William’s eyes seemed to light with understanding even in the dark. “Ah,” he finally said, clasping his hands. “So that’s what this is about.”
Peter tried to swallow his bitterness in an attempt not to sound angry. “Children might be a minor detail to Shauna.” He shook his head. “But not to me.”
William let out a gusty breath. “I’m sorry, son. I really am.”
“Tell me, though,” Peter said. “What was it like?” Why was he torturing himself like this? Couldn’t it be enough just to mourn alone?
Apparently not.
William stared at the ground, but a small smile appeared on his lips. “My wife meant to tell me over a quiet dinner. Her plan was to have it served in our chambers after I returned from visiting the mines. But all her plans came crashing down when our dinner was postponed by the unexpected arrival of ambassadors from the Second Isle.”
“That’s too bad,” Peter said.
“Oh, that wasn’t the half of it!” William burst out laughing. “She threw up right on the table.” He shook his head, still chuckling. “I don’t know if she’ll ever fully recover from her embarrassment. But as soon as I understood what was going on…” His voice softened. “I was a changed man. My world no longer existed for me, or even for my wife. It was our world that now moved for him.” He tilted his head up toward the sky. “And then, nearly a year after that, when she told me our second was on the way, I never thought I could love another child as much as I loved him.” He laughed softly. “Seven children later, and I’m still just as excited for our eighth as I was for our first.” His smile faltered, however, when he looked once again at Peter.
“I hope this doesn’t sound rude, but I’m truly curious.” He leaned a little closer. “How did you come to fall in love with a fairy in the first place?”
“She was never a fairy to me.” Peter shrugged. “I mean, she was always different. But she wasn’t human or fae. She was just Katy. And I needed her just as much, if not more than she ever needed me.”
“How so?” William asked, His eyes burning with intensity. Peter could see why William was so well liked by so many people. Coming from anyone else, the question might have sounded sarcastic, but William’s face was so open, it was impossible to think him anything but earnest.
Peter gave him a wan smile. “You never had the misfortune of seeing me in my youth.”
“So you were either unusually soft around the middle or you had the thickness of a corn stalk.”
“A corn stalk would be an understatement.” Peter shook his head and plucked a flower from the ground near his feet. He twirled it in his fingers a few times before he started to pluck the petals off one by one. “My father, on the other hand, was known throughout the isle for his agility and strength. Needless to say, growing up as the son of a legend would have been hard enough for anyone. And that I could barely lift his sword or run ten steps without tripping made it worse.”
“You seem to have turned out decently well,” William said. “I think a few of my daughters nearly fainted when they saw you walk in for the first session. They called you the giant.” He laughed.
Peter twisted the flower’s stem. “The court eventually learned to like Peter the man well enough. No one had much use for Peter the gangly, clumsy boy, though. Except for Katy.” His voice fell to a near whisper. “She made me feel needed when no one else did. Even when I had to leave her behind, she waited.” He couldn't help smiling a bit. “She was my ally. No matter what happened, we knew we could count on each other. We might fight like a pair of kids, butting heads and locking horns every time we found an opportunity, but loyalty was never a question.”
“You really do love her,” William said quietly. “And the…wings and such don’t bother you?”
“They’re just a part of who she is.”
“I suppose…” William huffed. “I suppose it’s easy to see such things as business in the sessions when we meet as a chancel. We try to make sure rhins choose their mates wisely, healthy women who will help them lead and have the best chance of bearing strong children who will survive to adulthood. But I have to confess that it’s more muddled when you put it that way.”
“When we were little, my father bought her a doll for her birthday. It was alright at first, I suppose, but as time went on, it turned into one of the ugliest things I’ve seen to this day. She loved it so hard and dragged it around so much that pieces began to fall off, and the woman who took care of her said she was too busy to find matching scraps to mend it with. Mismatched buttons for eyes, limp gray knots for the hair. It was terrible.” He laughed in spite of himself at the memory.
“But?” William asked kindly.
“I asked her once why she had to drag the stupid thing with us wherever we went. It embarrassed me, and she was constantly fawning over the thing. But young as I was, even then, her answer broke my heart.”
All the mirth was gone from William’s face now. Instead, he watched Peter carefully, his left hand on his knee, and his right worrying his beard.
“She said, ‘I want to have someone love me as long as they live.’ And from that day, I knew that one day she should have that opportunity. Someday, she deserved to have it.” Peter’s voice cracked as he leaned his forehead against his palms, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to stop the stinging. “And I was supposed to give it to her. That gift was supposed to be mine, and we were supposed to share it.”
For a long time, neither of them spoke. William stared off into the distance, and Peter did his best to keep his mourning at bay, to fight the way his chest wanted to heave and the sobs that tried desperately to escape his throat. Countless times, he had imagined her with child. His child. She would be glowing, her blue eyes shining and her smile brilliant and unafraid. Of course, they had discussed the fact that having children might be difficult, particularly once they knew she was a fairy. But all of that talk had been just talk until now. Never had he really believed that they wouldn’t actually have a baby.
“Why weren’t we told this before?” he asked William, realizing only then that the king’s eyes and cheeks were wet too.
“The summit attendees were told not to say anything,” William said gruffly. “The chancels thought at first you might be able to have children after all. You were both so different from anything we’d ever seen. But the longer we watched, the more the chancel members—the fairies in particular—were worried. They said it was just too big a risk. The rhins were concerned too. But after your performance in the arena…” William frowned. “They…We,” he let out a gusty breath, “decided there was just too much about you that was unknown.” His voice dropped. “But I can see now how wrong we were. I’m sorry, Peter. Truly.” He stood
and readjusted his cloak.
“What do I do?” Peter asked, staring at the signet ring on his left hand. “I made a promise to my kingdom to rule, and I made a promise to her.” He finally looked up at met William’s gaze. “I don’t know how to keep both.”
“I hear that you’ve been reading the Chronicles of Atharo this week,” William said. “I haven’t read them in a long time…not like I should. But growing up, one of my favorite stories was the growing of the Tree of Diadems. Have you read that far?”
“I’ve finished them, but there’s so much to remember…” Peter tried to recall how the story ended. His mind was too foggy to recall anything of great detail.
“We don’t know much of the High Queen, other than that she had unusual beauty and was the king’s joy and delight. But when her father threatened to call off their wedding, the High King was so distraught that he fell on his knees before Atharo. When they eventually did get married, they planted that tree on their wedding day as a monument to Atharo’s blessings.”
“What happened?”
William gave him a small smile. “I don’t remember all the particulars, but Atharo must have provided some answer. We’re here, aren’t we?”
Long after William left, Peter stayed on the low brick wall and pulled flowers apart. As soon as he had told William that keeping both promises was impossible, an answer had presented itself to him. And the longer he thought about it, the more that answer revealed itself to be the right one. But it was also the answer that terrified him the most and threatened to rip his heart from his chest.
“I know what to do,” he called into the night sky, not caring who heard him. “But everything in me recoils…” He drew in a shaky breath. “Would you…” he paused and cleared his throat. “If I have to do this, I’ll need your strength. Because if you don’t lend it to me, this just might kill me.”
He had promised to lead the Third Isle, and he promised to love Katy. This meant he was obligated to keep his word to both or many would suffer. And now he had a way. But he hated it. He hated it with a passion. His feelings be hanged, though, for as much as he hated it, Atharo had provided him a way to fulfill both. Now if only his heart could survive the break.
37
The Chronicles Say
Katy paced in front of the window, flew around the little house, and sat completely still on the chair in the front room as she waited for Aisling.
Before Jagan had found her, she had imagined the ways they might try to use Peter against her, as Aisling had suggested. But Aisling had been right. Untrained, she was more dangerous to everyone. She might fly in and threaten to bring the entire palace down. They knew, though, that she wouldn’t do it. Not with the hundreds of people inside. Particularly not with children.
But sometimes, her power acted with a mind of its own.
He couldn't be dead.
Her mind was numb, thankfully enough, that it was unable to process that he actually might have been killed. Peter was alive. He had to be. And yet…
She never should have left. What was she thinking? If she was honest, she hadn’t been thinking at all. In her heartbreak over the revelation about her barrenness, she hadn’t been thinking straight, and all she had been able to do was to run. To fly away from the people and place that had caused her pain. And now she was forced to sit and wait while someone else went to find her beloved.
How had they done it, she wondered. Jagan certainly wouldn't have been able to overpower Peter. Jagan wasn't small by any means, but Peter’s strength alone was at least double any other man’s. She’d felt that in the arena. And that had to have some meaning…didn’t it?
Why had she ever trusted Donella? Why had she come here? Katy buried her face in her hands as she sank to the floor. If Peter died, it would be her fault.
The door banged open. Katy jumped to her feet. Aisling was standing there, smiling as though she just might burst.
“He’s alive!”
Katy nearly fainted. “How? Jagan said—”
“Jagan tried to poison him, but he escaped! And he’s looking for you now!”
Katy knew that she should run out the door and never look back, but relief made her legs weak and her heart beat too fast. She reached out and grabbed the back of the chair for support.
“Well, let’s go!” Aisling laughed. “What are you waiting for?”
Katy forced her legs to follow Aisling out the door. As soon as they were outside, Katy lifted into the air, but Aisling grabbed her leg and pulled her back down.
“We need to walk.”
Katy gave Aisling a dangerous look, but Aisling just shook her head.
“Donella has fairies and guards all over the isle.”
“Whom are they looking for?”
“Looking for you, looking for Peter…I even heard that Jagan is still missing as well. I guess he never returned after you saw him.”
Katy hadn't even given Jagan a thought since she’d learned about Peter the night before. With a sigh, she returned to the ground and resigned herself to walking beside Aisling.
“No need to look so sad.” Aisling nudged her. “Last I saw, they’re not far from the Tree of Diadems. We should be there in less than half a day.”
Katy tried to calm the rush of emotions that whirled around in her head and heart as she and Aisling walked through Autumn. It was a good thing Aisling led, because if asked, Katy couldn't have told up from down.
“You look troubled,” Aisling finally said after nearly an hour of walking. “I thought you would be overjoyed.”
“I am,” Katy said, kicking a pile of leaves.
“But?”
Katy sighed. “Just before I left, Peter told me about the children.”
“I know,” Aisling said softly.
Katy looked at her. “You do?”
Aisling wiggled her eyebrows mischievously. “Remember the wind?”
“Oh.” Of course, this didn’t help her feel any better. She took a deep breath. “I’m grateful for all your training. More than I can say.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “But nothing has really changed. We’re still as stuck as we were several days ago.”
“Katy—”
“I know I had no way of knowing Donella…that everything would turn out the way it did. And I did everything with the best intentions.” Except running away, of course. “I wish…I just wish I could fix everything.”
Aisling stooped and took Katy’s hands in hers. “This is much bigger than you or Peter. I can guarantee that whether or not you accepted their invitation, the Higher Chancel would have somehow goaded you into coming. I have been around long enough to safely say that these plans have been waiting for you since you were born.”
Somehow, this bothered Katy more than she might have expected it to. They walked along for several minutes, leaves crunching beneath their feet and the sound of geese above them, before Aisling spoke again.
“Have I told you about how my parents met?”
Katy shook her head. In spite of her disgust with herself, Katy found her interest piqued.
“My father was the captain of a small fleet of human ships.” She wore a far-off look. “He was leading refugees from a distant land, but as Atharo would have it, they became lost in a storm and ended up on this isle.”
Katy tried to imagine ships coming toward the western shores.
“My mother’s people were already on the isles, and they were suspicious of the newcomers at first, but the head chief, my grandfather, allowed the visitors time to rebuild their ships over the winter.”
“You mean in the Winter part of the isle?”
“No, I mean winter as all the other isles know it. You see, this isle was no different from the others at first. It was simply the center of isle life because it sat in the center of all the other isles. But by the time spring arrived, my father was so in love with my mother that he knew he couldn't go on.”
“What happened to the ships?” Katy asked as they climbed a small emba
nkment and into a little footbridge over a brook.
“By then, my father’s people had begun to make homes for themselves, and the islanders were growing fast attached to their workmanship. Many of those who were traveling were skilled with wood and metal, and none of the people here had ever seen anything like their work.”
“I thought I heard something about the fae not being skilled with tools like the humans.”
“You heard correctly.” Aisling nodded. “So anyone who was here before my father’s group would have benefitted from nothing but fairy gifts. Anyhow, they soon decided it would be best if the new humans stayed. They could farm and cultivate and create and teach others while the fae continued caring for the isle.”
Katy sighed. “I wish it were that way today.”
“It might surprise you, but even then, it was difficult. The two had such different lifestyles that disagreements and fights broke out constantly. And even worse, the humans and fae disagreed amongst themselves on a regular basis.”
“What changed?” Katy asked.
Aisling grinned at her. “People like my parents.” She paused and broke some purple berries off a tree, handing several to Katy before continuing. “My father had a will of iron, and my mother was like a bough that wouldn't break. And though they certainly had arguments to rival any others’, their wills were exceeded by their love. This made them effective in dissolving the disputes between the men and fae in their care. That’s one of the reasons the High King made my parents guardians of the isles. It was for properly utilizing couples like them, and for their own merit and sacrifice, of course, that Atharo gifted the High King and High Queen a magic like the isles had never seen before.”
She tilted her head thoughtfully. “My parents were good friends with them, by the way. My brothers were born not long after they were married. They didn’t find me until several years later.”
They had come to a little field covered in violet bellflowers. If she hadn't been so desperate to reach Peter, Katy would have stopped and lain down in the center to bask in the sunlight. But they were in a hurry, so Katy hurried to keep up with Aisling’s long strides.
The Autumn Fairy of Ages Page 31