by Warren, Pat
Wandering back to the kitchen, she was preoccupied with her disturbing thoughts. Of one thing she was certain: Alex would take good care of Ryan. He cared almost as much for her son as she did. He’d told her as much, and although he hadn’t been honest in some ways, she believed him regarding his feelings for Ryan. All a person had to do was see the two of them together to notice the caring, the genuine affection between them. A special rapport, actually.
Sitting down at the table, she wondered what Alex would tell Ryan tonight about why he left. Would he lay the blame on her shoulders? That didn’t seem like him. Would he try to explain the real situation, about the transplant switch and subsequent deception? Surely not, for Ryan was too young to grasp all that.
Standing at the sink where she was certain Megan hadn’t even noticed her, so engrossed in her thoughts was she, Grace studied her friend. The tears and the trembling had stopped. Even the anger seemed to have dissipated. What was she thinking?
“What do you plan to say to him when they return tomorrow?” Grace asked, knowing she was prying, not much caring.
Megan took a sip of tea and leaned back. “I wish I knew.”
“I’m full. I can’t eat any more.” Ryan sat back at the kitchen table and smiled. “It was great.”
Finishing his coffee, Alex had to agree. The kid had polished off a big plateful and so had he. “Glad you liked it. I’ve been told I make the best cheeseburgers for miles around.” Instead of stopping for fast food, which Alex wasn’t fond of, he’d taken Ryan to the supermarket near his condo and bought the makings. “We can have some ice cream later, if you like.”
“Okay.” As he’d been taught, Ryan got up and began clearing his dishes.
“Just set them on the counter and I’ll load the dishwasher.” He, too, rose, went to the sink. “You want to watch some TV?”
“No, thanks.” He glanced out the window alongside the table. All the windows in Alex’s condo looked out to the sea, which was quite calm tonight. “This is a great place. I wish we lived close to the water. Do you go swimming every day?”
“Not every day.” He wasn’t quite sure how to entertain a young boy away from his own environment. “You want to go down and walk in the surf, get your feet wet?”
“Yeah!”
Minutes later, they were walking along a twilight beach, both barefoot. The spotty moonlight afforded a small measure of illumination. Ryan chased a wave or two and yelped when he got wet, laughing at the surf frothing around his bare ankles. It was a warm evening with a few gulls dipping low, looking for a late dinner. Ryan was fascinated.
“Haven’t you ever been to the beach before this?” Alex asked.
“No. Mom keeps saying we’ll go one day, but she’s pretty busy. Dad used to go out on his boat a lot, but he never took me or Mom. I...I don’t know how to swim, so Mom wouldn’t let me go except that once when he first got it.”
“Well, we’ll have to get you some lessons. Or I can teach you.”
Eagerly, Ryan looked up at him. “When?”
Alex kept forgetting how literally he took everything. “Soon. We’ll talk it over with your mother.”
They walked in silence a while, Ryan kicking at the sand. But there was obviously something on his mind. “Alex, what’s going to happen tomorrow? Are you going to take me back and just leave me, then come back here?”
Unconsciously, Alex’s arm slipped around the boy’s slender shoulders. “No, Ryan. Your mom and I are going to have a talk and hopefully we can work things out.”
Disbelief and hope mingled on the small, serious face. “You promise?”
“I promise to do my best.” Ryan needed him and, surprisingly, he needed Ryan. And Megan. She would listen if it took him all day, Alex vowed.
Megan glanced at the digital clock on her nightstand. Two a.m. and she still hadn’t closed her eyes. Sighing, she watched the moonlit shadows that trailed in through the slatted blinds of her window dance on the ceiling.
She’d gone through the motions tonight, making dinner for herself and Grace, which they’d both barely touched. She’d done her baking and run it over to Emily. And there at the Cornerstone, she’d done something she hadn’t planned on doing. Yet it felt right. She quit.
Emily was sorry to lose her daily delivery of baked goods, but when she saw that Megan was serious, she wished her well. That was one step in the right direction, Megan now told herself. She had too many irons in the fire, was too tired evenings. She didn’t have enough time and energy left over for her son, which was probably why he’d gotten so quickly and thoroughly attached to Alex.
Who was she kidding? Megan asked herself as she bunched the pillow behind her head for the umpteenth time. Ryan had fallen for Alex just as she had, because he was good and caring and fun and kind. A born father, Grace had labeled him. Not just because he taught Ryan to catch and hit better, or because he attended a few games. Not even the model cars. It was because he was so good at reaching the boy, teaching him things Ryan wasn’t even aware he was learning.
Like the explanation of his fight with Bobby. Like instinctively knowing how much the boy would want to ride in his Porsche. Like keeping him overnight so he could calm his fears.
That’s what parenting was about—doing what was right even though doing the opposite was far easier. Neat had always taken the easy way out. Because he hadn’t cared, hadn’t known how to be a father. Alex was a better substitute father in a few weeks than Neal had been a real father in seven years.
Megan shifted again. All right, so he’d come to her under false pretenses. He’d had lots of opportunities before today to tell her the truth, but he’d been afraid she’d overreact. And, when he had told her, she had overreacted just as he’d predicted. Then she’d lashed out at him, hurling accusations, sounding like a fishwife. She’d tuned out his explanations and nursed her hurt pride.
And she’d almost missed hearing the most important words he’d said, that he loved her and her son, that he wanted to make a life with them, be a family, have a real home. Tears came to Megan’s eyes again, only this time, they were cleansing tears. She’d been wrong not to listen, not to forgive. Surely she’d made mistakes aplenty. Don’t we all? as Grace had pointed out.
Tomorrow, she’d have a second chance—to let him know, to make things right, to forgive and be forgiven. “Don’t blow it,” she whispered out loud.
From an upstairs bedroom, Megan heard the purr of a powerful car engine pull into Delaney’s lot, the sound she’d been listening for all morning. After stopping to check her hair in the mirror and add a dab of lipstick, she drew in a deep breath and ran downstairs.
She’d just reached the foyer as Ryan got out. Hesitantly, he started toward her. Megan crouched down, opened her arms wide and he ran into them. She hugged him to her, blinking back tears she’d vowed not to shed, holding him close.
“I’m sorry I worried you, Mom,” Ryan said into her neck.
“It’s all right, sweetie.” Over his head, she looked up into eyes as green as the sea on a sunny day. “I knew you’d be all right with Alex.”
Ryan pulled back to look at her. “We walked in the ocean last night. It was cool.”
“Was it?” She found herself smoothing his hair, touching his wonderful face, reassuring herself he was truly back.
“His place is really neat. I slept in Alex’s T-shirt last night.” He looked down at his shirt and shorts. “He washed my clothes, too.”
“I see that.” She swallowed around a lump. “I’m awfully glad you’re back. Please, Ryan, don’t do anything like this again.”
His face sobered. “I won’t, Mom. Alex made me promise to never worry you again like that.” He put his mouth close to her ear. “He’s so great, Mom. Don’t be mad at him, please?”
Again, she raised her eyes over her son’s head to Alex’s watchful face. “I know, and I’m not mad anymore.”
“Good.” Ryan turned to Alex, excited again. “Is it time for our surprise yet?�
��
“Not yet, sport. Why don’t you go find something to do while I talk with your mother?” He winked at Ryan.
“Okay.” Spotting Grace in the doorway, Ryan grinned. “I have a secret, Grace. Only I can’t tell you yet.”
“Is that right? Let’s go out back,” she said, taking him with her so Megan and Alex would have some privacy. “Bobby’s been looking for you.”
“Really? Wait till I tell him about...whoops! Never mind.” He rounded the corner with Grace.
Alex nodded toward the hillside. “Can we go for a walk? Have you got time?”
Straightening, Megan felt nerves skitter along her spine. “Okay.” She walked around the side and started up the hill, very aware of Alex behind her. She’d rehearsed half a dozen scenarios and discarded them all. Maybe spontaneous would be best. Listen this time, she reminded herself. Don’t talk. Listen.
At the top, Alex studied the rock that was Megan’s favorite, the one where they’d made love just a few nights ago. “I like it up here,” he said, turning to her.
Her face heating at the sensual memory her rock now represented, Megan nodded. “Me, too.”
“Megan, I—”
“No, let me start.” Conjuring up every ounce of courage she could muster, Megan faced him. It was all. right to talk if you needed to apologize. “I’m sorry I judged you so harshly, sorry I overreacted and very sorry I asked you to leave. I was wrong. Can you forgive me?”
No one realized more than Alex how much courage it had taken her to say all that. He stepped closer now that he knew her feelings. “I should be the one apologizing. I should have been up-front with you from day one, but I was worried you’d send me away if you knew who I was right off the bat.”
He knew her too well. “I probably would have.”
“I thought if I waited a while, if you got to know me, you might understand. What I hadn’t counted on was that, when I got to know you and Ryan, I’d be the one falling faster than anything I’ve ever experienced. I readily admit that love wasn’t on my agenda, Megan, certainly not marriage. I’d sworn off both.”
Seeing the sudden concern in her eyes, he reached out to stroke two fingers along her silken cheek. “But love snuck up on me. The night I went out with those two guys, it hit me square between the eyes. They represented the life I used to live, the one I thought I still wanted. But you and Ryan represent the life I want now. A rich, full life over one that was pretty shallow. No contest. Without you two, nothing holds much appeal.”
Megan closed the gap between them, moving closer until they were nearly touching. “For me, too.”
“I love you, Megan. I want you to marry me, and I promise you, I’ll never deceive you again. I’ve learned my lesson. Will you be my wife?”
“Yes, oh, yes.” Rising on tiptoe, she felt his arms close around her as he drew her into a kiss filled with promise, with love, with joy. When they parted, she pressed her cheek to his chest, listening to his heart beat. “I’ve learned a lot myself. You’ll have to be patient with me, though. I’m still not good at trusting, but I’m working on it.”
“I’m going to try like hell not to give you any reason to distrust me.” He eased back, needing to bring up another subject. “I should warn you that I’ll be on medication, a lot of medication, for the rest of my life. The doctors say I can lead a normal life, provided I take a few precautions, but they can’t predict if this new liver will give out one day, as well.”
“Life doesn’t come with a lot of guarantees, Alex. I’m willing to take a chance if you are.”
“Just try to stop me.” He kissed her again, longer, more thoroughly. “Now about this job you have.”
“I quit baking for the Cornerstone last night, if that’s what you mean.”
“That’s a start.” He didn’t want her working at the inn, either. Maybe she’d consider putting Grace in charge, moving to San Diego. But making too many requests that sounded like demands would kill the still-tenuous truce they’d just worked out. All in good time, Alex told himself. He was a patient man when it came to something important and he was willing to compromise because he wanted Megan to be happy. “We can hash out the rest later.”
Winding her arms around him, Megan was aware there was much to be settled yet. But with enough love, they’d work things out. She locked her hands at the back of his neck, loving the feel of him. “I missed you so much. I can’t believe how much I’ve come to love you in such a short time.”
“No more than I love you.” This kiss was shorter, but just as sweet. “I think we’d better walk down and find Ryan. He worried all the way here about how you’d react to our plan.”
“The two of you have a plan?”
“Yeah, to get you to marry me.”
Laughing, Megan started down the path. “Your plan should please Grace. She’s really on your side, you know.”
That surprised him. “You’re kidding. And here I thought she felt I was bad for you.”
Pausing at the garden, she turned to him. “I have a feeling she’s been playing devil’s advocate.”
“Aha!” Before Alex could say more, Ryan came bounding out the side door.
“Is it okay? Did you two make up?” His little-boy voice was high-pitched with excitement.
Alex smiled at him. “Yes, things are just fine.”
“Whoopee! Can I go get our surprise now?” He was fidgeting and squirming, anxious to be off.
“Yeah, do it.” Alex looked at Megan. “Now don’t start in telling me that I didn’t check with you first. This is something that needed to be included in our new family.”
Skeptical but too happy to be angry at much of anything, Megan waited. In moments, Ryan came toward them walking carefully, carrying a cardboard box. Before he’d quite reached them, she heard a faint sound. “Oh, no! You didn’t!”
“Look, Mom,” Ryan implored her as he held out the box. Inside was a gray-and-white kitten on a yellow towel, scratching at the side, mewing his need to be free. “Isn’t he great? Alex said I could name him. I’m calling him Harold.”
“Harold?” Unable to resist, Megan ran a hand over the soft little head. The kitten reached around and licked her finger.
“See, he likes you.” Ryan was ecstatic. “Alex said I had to take care of him and I will. I promise. You won’t even know he’s around.”
Oh, sure, Megan thought. “Where’d you think up his name?”
“I like Harold. He just looks like a Harold.” Gathering the box to his chest, Ryan turned. “I have to go show him to Grace. She loves kittens.”
“I’m sure she does,” Megan said, smiling. She raised a brow as she glanced up at her husband-to-be. “Harold, eh?”
“A nice, dignified name, don’t you think?”
She reached up to bring his head down to hers. “What I think is that you’re an old softie. And how lucky I am that you are.” Closing her eyes, she pressed her mouth to his, feeling that finally she held her future in her arms.
ISBN : 978-1-4592-6557-8
STAND-IN FATHER
Copyright © 1998 by Pat Warren
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and TM are trademarks of Harlequin Books S.A., used under license. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and
Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.