But now a new one seethed inside her.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“I’m sorry for the things I said when we were stuck in the middle of a hurricane.”
Paige rolled her eyes as Lily and Nadia embraced, back to being best friends or lovers…or whatever they were. At this point, she no longer cared. It was hard to care about much other than the fact that they’d all managed to survive, though Tranquila Inn had suffered its fair share of damage.
The storm had passed, winging out over the ocean and leaving Poco Poco Island in its wake, gasping and battered. They wouldn’t know the extent of the damage to the island until their power was restored, but based on the little snippets of radio reports they were able to receive, it sounded like Poco Poco Island had been bruised, but was certainly not broken. The good news was that the airport would be cleaned of debris and would be operational by the following day. Paige couldn’t get this group away from her soon enough.
The guests had gathered in the reception hall, and they all looked shell-shocked as they took stock of the damage to the inn. Tranquila had been lucky – what could have been total obliteration had ended up largely being surface damage that could be cleaned or patched up. What had looked like total chaos in the early morning hours of the storm to Paige was mainly debris and brush that had been tossed about in the winds.
“Since we’ve got nothing else to do – I say we help put this place back to rights. What do you think?” Stan spoke up, looking around at the others. Notably, Horatio remained silent and hovered at the back of the group – no longer sure of his place. Paige almost felt sorry for him. The guests quickly agreed and Paige was surprised to see Stan call Luis over, and they all listened quietly as the gardener gave instructions on where to pile up the debris.
“I hardly think picking up trash is part of our obligation as guests,” Horatio said at her ear. Had Paige thought she might feel sorry for him? That quickly vanished as she turned to look at Horatio with disgust.
“It’s not part of your obligation as guests. But it’s what a decent human being would do.” Paige glared at him, hands on hips, and he hunched his shoulders.
“I’m just saying…”
“Don’t you think that’s your problem? You’re always just saying this and just saying that. Have you ever considered, just for once, shutting the fuck up? People might respect you a lot more if you stopped offering your opinion on every damn thing.” Horatio’s eyes rounded at her words, and he had the gall to look like she’d slapped him.
“Anger comes from…” Horatio began and Paige raised her hand.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. And I don’t care. If you can’t keep your mouth shut and if you can’t help…then I suggest you make yourself scarce. Nobody likes a lazy freeloader.” Not bothering to wait to hear if he had anything else to say, Paige moved forward to join the group and listen to Luis’s instructions. Once she’d been assigned the task of clearing trash from the beach, Paige disappeared without a word.
She was talked out, Paige realized. Talked out, burnt out, and she kept vacillating between wanting to cry or laugh hysterically. Her entire body was one large exposed nerve ending and the slightest touch could send her over the edge.
Jack had disappeared with CeCe immediately after he’d rescued her on the beach that morning. When Paige had asked Whit about their condition, he’d merely informed her both were well and had gently pushed her back to the group. It was as though the wagons had circled, protecting their little family unit, and Paige was now an outsider. Stung, Paige had retreated – her mind whirling.
Now, as she shoved trash into a garbage bag, Paige wondered if Jack could forgive her. He was clearly furious with her – not only because she’d rejected and accused him, but because she’d also seen him at his most vulnerable. CeCe needed help. And Whit…well…he seemed to do exactly what he wanted. The hotel was a mess and, if Paige was honest with herself, so was she. What had she been thinking, letting herself care for Jack? She’d promised herself she was going to make better choices this time around and yet here she was…picking up food cartons and plastic bags on the beach and wondering how the hell she’d landed on tiny Poco Poco Island.
Jack needed her.
Paige shivered as the thought raced through her. His face in the storm…it was like all his carefully crafted walls had been ripped down and instead a vulnerable little boy who cried out for love had peered out at her. He’d spent his whole life cleaning up CeCe’s messes and he was used to being alone – in fact he thrived on his ability to take care of himself. It was almost as though he’d expected Paige’s rejection because everybody in his life always failed him.
The problem was Paige didn’t know what to do about it. She didn’t know if she had it in her to stay, or if she would even be invited to continue to work at Tranquila Inn. The future of the hotel remained uncertain, as far as Paige knew, because there was no way they could operate with CeCe at its head. She was a liability and she’d proven that when she’d almost gotten both her and Jack killed.
Tears pricked Paige’s eyes as she recalled CeCe dancing in the waves, innocent as a child and mad as a hatter. Her appeal lay in her charm and her threat in her addiction. It would be a tough road to navigate, and Paige felt like an outsider looking in – wanting to help but not knowing what the right answer was.
When her foot squelched into something wet and mushy, Paige closed her eyes briefly before looking down at the diaper she’d just stepped in. If this wasn’t a metaphor for her life, Paige wasn’t sure what was. Sighing, she gingerly picked up the diaper, tossed it in the bag, and went to rinse her feet in the ocean. Standing in the calm waters, Paige took a moment to breathe.
To just breathe.
Inhale…exhale. The saltwater felt soothing on her feet, and the sand massaged her toes. The ocean was calm today, as though the chaos of last night was a mistake, and it begged her forgiveness as it washed away the dirt that clung to her. “Everything will be fine,” the ocean seemed to whisper. “Life will always be messy. But oh, it’s so incredibly beautiful, too.”
Paige found her center, and reminded herself that not everything she’d experienced was bad. She’d made friends, learned new skills, and had forged new paths for herself. While she wasn’t particularly happy with how she’d been taken for a ride by Horatio, she’d also learned a valuable lesson about herself.
That even she could weather the storm. She may bend in the force of the wind, but she did not break.
Hours later, Paige had filled sixteen trash bags and her muscles ached – not to mention she was starving. She’d successfully avoided interacting with people and now wove her way to her cabin to take stock of any damage to her personal belongings. Finding everything intact made her happier than Paige had thought it would, so she supposed she had some connection to her material possessions after all. And that was okay, Paige told herself, shoving Horatio’s guru-speak about the evil of material possessions from her mind. So what if she liked her stuff? She’d worked hard for it.
Taking a long shower – and not even caring that there was no hot water – Paige scrubbed every inch of herself as though she could rub away the mess of the last thirty-six hours. When finished, she toweled off, pulled a loose maxi dress over her head and went in search of food.
“Martin!” Paige exclaimed, surprised to see the chef darting around the kitchen, an annoyed expression on his face. “I was worried about you.”
“Me? I’m just fine, honey. I had to go be with my family. But the storm barely touched us. We are good.”
“I’m glad to hear it. How has the rest of the island fared?” Paige leaned her hip against the stainless-steel table and watched as the chef slammed a drawer closed.
“It’s not the worst one we’ve had. Some damage, but nothing that can’t be built back up. I’d say we are damn lucky.” The chef slammed another drawer.
“Are you upset about something?” Paige tilted her head at him in question and the chef whirled on he
r.
“Yes! Everyone was in my kitchen. Nothing is in the right place. I’ll have to reorganize everything. I can’t find anything. What did you guys do here? Get drunk and empty my shelves?”
Wisely, Paige didn’t answer and pressed her lips together in a thin seam to avoid laughing. It would only make him angrier, and she genuinely liked the chef.
“I can help you put it back together.” Paige walked over to where he stood and smiled up at him. “I’m really glad you’re safe, Martin.”
“Ah, well, it’s fine. I’ll get it put back together. It’s not the first hurricane I’ve cleaned up after.” Martin shrugged and then shot a glare over Paige’s head. Turning, she saw Horatio hovering in the doorway.
“Um, I was just wondering when dinner would be served?”
“Dinner will be served when I damn well feel like serving it. Do you have any other questions?” Martin’s tone was lethal, and Horatio opened his mouth and then ducked out of the kitchen, seemingly thinking better of pushing the chef. Frankly, for him that was hugely perceptive, Paige thought.
“I hope you’ve let that idiot go by now.” Martin shook his head as he pulled out several mixing bowls and put them on the table. “He’s not right for you, my beauty.”
“I…yes, I’ve let him go. Well, he let me go, I guess.”
“Did he? You still seemed bothered by him when he arrived.”
Speaking of perceptive, Paige thought, and pushed back the annoyance that wanted to rear its ugly head. That was just her hangry talking, and her stomach growled loudly. Muttering, Martin ducked his head in the pantry and returned with a basket of muffins. “Eat this until I can feed you properly.”
“Thank you,” Paige said. She grabbed a muffin and considered Martin’s words. “I still get frustrated by Horatio, if that’s what you’re asking. But I no longer want a relationship with him or have romantic feelings for him.”
“It’s not your path anymore. So there shouldn’t even be frustration.”
“How so?” Paige didn’t even care that she spoke over a mouthful of blueberry deliciousness.
“It’s like this, honey.” Martin cracked eggs into a bowl. “You and Horatio are approaching a big mountain together. You’re on a hike…it’s maybe not the best hike, but somewhat scenic and then you come to a split in the road. You want to go up, you get it? Because at the top of that trail…well, the views are world-class. The best. But Horatio, well, he wants to take the easier path. The one along the cliffs.”
“Right.” Paige had no idea what he was talking about, but nodded vigorously when the chef shot her a look.
“Horatio likes the easy path. He’s convinced it will be better and the view just as pretty. But what he doesn’t know is that the path is washed out and there are loads of boulders and awful prickly bushes to get through to see his views. So he takes that route. But you decide to go up. To take the higher road.”
“Okay…” Paige figured this was a lesson on being the better person. Which she totally understood, but had to admit it was pretty annoying when you always had to be the person to take the high road.
“Your choice was the better choice all along. The climb isn’t without its share of problems, but nothing like the path Horatio chose. And once you get to the top and you see the stunning views…you know what?”
“What?”
“You’re not worried about Horatio anymore. He’s on his path. That was his choice. And you are on yours. They are no longer shared. He’ll encounter problem after problem on the road he takes. And that’s just fine. That’s his path. Not yours. You, my beauty, get to go your own way and the only thing you have to think about is where you place your next step.”
“Because we’re on different paths.”
“Precisely. You can’t control his path or his choices anymore. You can only focus on your own. If he chooses to climb a boulder and slips and falls over a cliff edge to a gory death, well…”
“That’s on him.”
“Exactly.”
“And it’s not my fault.”
“No, love. The police wouldn’t find his body and see you at the top of the mountain and say you pushed him. You’d only get dragged into it if you were on the same trail as him.”
Paige realized it was his convoluted way of saying that each person was responsible for their own destiny, but for some reason…it helped. A lightness that she hadn’t felt in years filled her and Paige beamed at Martin.
“Has anyone ever told you how wise you are?”
“Of course, honey.” Martin looked at her like she was crazy. “Don’t you know chefs always have the best advice?”
“You’re right. Thank you.” Paige impulsively pressed a kiss to his cheek before wandering to the door.
“Tell the guests food will be on within the hour.”
“You’re a god among men, Martin.”
“Don’t I know it.” His laughter followed her out the door as Paige crossed the reception hall to the group gathered in front of the bar. By her estimation, the rum punch had already been flowing.
“Hey, Paige.” Lily and Nadia broke off and approached her. Paige’s shoulders tensed as she studied the two willowy beauties.
“Yes?”
“We’re sorry about…you know…”
“Sleeping with my boyfriend?” Paige supplied cheerfully.
“Right, that. We should’ve known you weren’t aware of what was going on.” Lily nudged Nadia who rolled her eyes.
“Yes, we’re sorry. We were both stupid. Horatio’s not that hot anyway.”
“No, he’s not. I think I like a more distinguished gentleman, anyway,” Lily said.
Paige looked between the two of them as they began to bicker about what kind of man made a better lover, and realizing her participation was not required, she turned to leave.
“Hey, Paige. Want a rum punch?” Stan asked, gesturing with a drink. Behind him, Mariposa shot her a soft smile.
“No, I’m good.”
“Hey, listen. We’re going to miss you at Yoga Soulone. You really helped run a tight ship there. But…if I were you…” Stan looked around at the reception hall and back to Paige. “I’d stay right here. You’re better than Horatio and his yoga studio. I think you’ll do great things here.”
If she even still had a job, Paige echoed silently in her head. Instead, she smiled her thanks at Stan. The noise level of the group ratcheted up as Whit joined the party, and everyone asked after CeCe. Not able to stand whatever explanation Whit would give, Paige left the reception hall and headed for the water.
Which was where Jack found her.
Chapter Thirty
“She’s your mom. Not your lover.” Paige wrapped her arms around her knees and leaned back against the lounge chair she’d dragged by the water. Jack dropped down at the end of the chair and turned to look at her. His face was expressionless in the moonlight, but his eyes were soft with…was it pain? Or confusion?
“That’s why you froze me out?”
“I…” Paige shrugged one shoulder and propped her chin on her knees. “It was early in the morning after we’d just been together. You’d left without a word. And I saw you come out of CeCe’s room. You didn’t have a shirt on, and she wrapped her arms around you and said she loved you.”
“So you just thought that low of me? That I would flit from one woman to the next? With not a care in the world?” Jack looked hugely offended as he leaned back, anger rippling across his handsome face.
“I guess…I guess I don’t know.” A sliver of embarrassment worked through Paige’s gut. “It’s what I’m used to.”
“Ah. That’s insulting. You’re holding me to Horatio’s standards. Or lowering me, I should say.” Jack shook his head and swore softly.
“I…I haven’t known you that long. And it’s what I’ve experienced.”
“So you just assume every guy will treat you like dirt just because one did?”
“It’s good to be cautious.” Paige raised
her chin at him.
“Cautious would be not sleeping with your boss then.”
“Ouch,” Paige said, blowing out a breath as his words hit deep.
“Well? I’m not wrong. If you wanted to be cautious and take it slow and get to know someone better before making a mistake again, then you shouldn’t have slept with me. You had a say in the decision, too. I didn’t force you.”
“No, you didn’t.” Paige held up a hand when Jack wanted to go on. “Just…give me a second.”
“Fine.”
Paige took a few deep gulps of the salty night air and thought about his words. He wasn’t wrong. If she was going to use being more cautious as her excuse, then she absolutely shouldn’t have slept with him. She wanted to because…well, she liked Jack. Really liked him. And he was nothing like Horatio. With everything she’d learned over the weeks working with him every day, Paige knew that Jack was reliable, honorable, and deeply committed to any projects that he put his mind to.
“I owe you an apology,” Paige began and held up her hand again when Jack would speak. “No, just let me. You’re absolutely right. As much as looking in the mirror isn’t exactly fun sometimes…you are right. If I wasn’t sure about my choice to sleep with you or if I thought you were even remotely capable of being that type of guy, I shouldn’t have had sex with you. It was a kneejerk reaction to being hurt by someone so recently. And once the hurricane swept in, well, I didn’t really have much time to examine my reaction or my thoughts more deeply.”
“You could have just asked me right away, Paige. Instead of treating me like I was some revenge-shag against Horatio or like I was in some battle to one-up him or something.” Jack’s tone was soft, but it was laced with hurt. Paige blinked at the tears that threatened.
“I wasn’t…I didn’t!” Paige blinked at him and took a moment. “Okay. I can see why you’d think that. You’re right. I should’ve asked you. I am sorry. I convicted you without a proper investigation. That was wrong. Can you forgive me?”
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