by Claire Adams
“The thing is, the more I micromanage you, the less you have the opportunity to show me that this company could, in fact, exist without me,” I said, folding my hands in front of me. “The reason why you've all been working in your own specific departments is because that's the way that I've forced you to work. You're all very talented, but I haven't given you the opportunities to prove yourselves.”
“You make it sound like you're going to pit us head-to-head with one another and award the company to the last man standing,” someone quipped.
I smiled as there were a few nervous chuckles around the table. “That's not the plan,” I promised. “However, I am planning to start scaling back my hours, effective immediately. I will continue to work from home some days, but there will also be days when I don't work at all.” I paused. “I don't plan to drastically cut back on how much I'm working, but I will be giving you all a lot more independence, and I'll need everyone to step up to the plate.”
There was silence around the table. Everyone looked like they were processing this news.
“And if we don't step up to the plate, we get fired?” Jack asked.
I remembered that he was the man who had almost gotten himself fired in the previous meeting, and I barely managed to suppress a smile.
“That's not what I'm saying,” I told him, looking around the table and meeting everyone's eyes so that they'd see how sincere I was. I shrugged. “We'll try this out for a little while, maybe just one quarter or maybe for a few quarters. We'll see how it affects our numbers, if at all. If things don't seem to be working, I'll step back in. But we'll discuss that, as a team, when we get to the point.”
The emphasis on “as a team” shocked them.
“So essentially, you are planning to retire soon?” Bob asked. “You just want to make sure the company will be all right without you when you do?”
“That's not it,” I said firmly.
“Then why?” someone asked, sounding absolutely baffled.
I shrugged. “As I said, I feel as though I haven't given you the chance to show me what you can really do, to achieve your full potential,” I told them. “That's all there is to it.”
That wasn't all there was to it, of course. Not by a long shot. What it really boiled down to was that I wanted to spend more time with Lexi and Emma. That was why I'd begun working from home more and more. The more I worked from home, and the more I spent my lunches with them, the less motivated I felt to go back to work for the afternoon.
And it would be nice to leave the office early once in a while so that I could go home and have dinner with the two of them, or take Lexi on dates in the evenings without making Janice stay over too late.
But of course, I wasn't about to tell that to my executive board. They would think that I was getting soft, or that I was putting my personal life ahead of my work. I couldn't have them thinking that.
Even though the more I thought about it, the more I realized that that really was the truth of it. For the first time in my life, there was something that I cared about more than my work or making more money. I wanted Orinoco to continue to thrive, but I also wanted my relationship with Lexi and Emma to thrive.
I stood up before they could ask any more questions. “I trust that you'll all let me know if you have any troubles with the new arrangement,” I told them, even though I had a hard time believing that they actually would. I had never strived to be an approachable boss, and that could come back to bite me in the ass now.
So let it, I thought. If things went bad, we'd reassess in a few quarters, just like I'd told them we would. We'd figure out where to go from there. But for now, it was time I did something for me.
I nodded at them and adjourned the meeting. I returned to my office just in time to receive a call from Katherine.
I smiled as I picked up the receiver. “Hey, sis.”
“Hey!” Katherine said, sounding surprised. “You sound happy.”
“So do you,” I countered.
“I'm in Paris; what's your excuse?” she asked. I could practically hear her rolling her eyes.
“Actually, I just told my executive board that I'm going to be working fewer hours, and that they're going to have to start managing on their own more often,” I admitted, knowing that she'd be pleased to hear that.
“Oh, wow!” Katherine said, sounding every bit as surprised as I'd expected her to. “What prompted that?”
“I just figured it was time,” I lied.
She didn't buy it for a second. “It's because of Emma, isn't it?” she asked. “Your daughter, whom I still have yet to meet.”
I sighed, even though her quick diagnosis of my real reason was amusing, more than anything. “I'll be glad to have a little more time around Emma,” I admitted. “Lexi as well.”
“Wow,” she said again. “So, things are going well between the two of you?”
“Yeah.”
She wanted details. Details that I wasn't sure I was ready to give her. It wasn't embarrassment, I told myself. But she was my little sister; she didn't need to know that I was sleeping with Lexi.
And other than sleeping with Lexi, I wasn't entirely sure how to describe what we were doing. We'd been on the one date the other night, of course, but we weren't exactly dating in the traditional sense.
I decided the best course of action was to change the subject. “So, how's Paris?” I asked.
Unfortunately, that only made Katherine burst out laughing. “Oh, no,” she said. “Paris is wonderful, but you can't just change the subject on me. Are things getting serious between you and Lexi?”
“We have a kid together,” I pointed out. “And both Lexi and our kid are currently living with me. It can't get much more serious than that.”
“Bullshit,” Katherine said succinctly. “When she first moved in, you were still with Renée. Now it sounds like you're making serious changes in your life, all for Lexi's sake.”
“They're not all for Lexi's sake,” I protested. “They're for my sake as well. The way that I've been living hasn't been very healthy. You know that. You've been telling me that for years.”
“And you never listened to me.”
I was quiet for a moment. “We're dating,” I finally admitted. “Things have been a little strange because usually when we go out, Emma's there as well. But we went on our first real, adults-only date the other night.” I ran a hand back through my hair, pushing away from my desk and spinning a little in my chair. “I don't know what it means, Kate, so don't start pressuring me to put labels on things. I don't know if we're getting more serious. But I like the way things are going.”
“That's good,” Katherine said gently. She paused. “Like I said when we got on the phone, you sound happy. I'm happy for you.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Of course, I still haven't met either of them,” Katherine said pointedly.
I laughed. “Well, funnily enough, Lexi asked recently if she could meet you. I told her she could, once you were back in town.”
“Great!” Katherine said, sounding delighted. “We can make it a girls' outing. I know this great brunch place that we could go to. I'm sure she'll love it. Unless you want to come with us?”
“I'm not sure I trust you and Lexi alone together yet,” I said.
Katherine giggled. “I'd make sure to save all the embarrassing stories for when you were there,” she said. “Otherwise, I wouldn't get to see you blush and try to talk your way out of them.”
“Like that would happen.”
“Come on; you know the kinds of stories I could dredge up about you.”
“Lies, all of them,” I said, but I smiled.
“Remember that one time when you were ten, and I dared you to—”
“All right, all right,” I interrupted, knowing what she was about to say and not wanting to hear another word of it. I shuddered. “You can take Lexi and Emma out to lunch when you're back in town.”
“Cool,” Katherine said.
> “So, how is Paris anyway?” I asked.
I settled back in my chair as she began to gush about how wonderful the city was, from the architecture to the food, and how much she loved the kids she nannied for. But I couldn't tear my mind away from my thoughts about Lexi and Emma.
Yes, I was definitely happy. I couldn't remember how long it had been since I'd been able to say that.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lexi
Emma pouted as I tucked her into bed. “I want to wait up until Daddy gets home,” she said, folding her arms across her chest.
I felt a pang in my heart, seeing her like that. Andrew had a work dinner that he had to attend that evening, so he would be getting home even later than normal. It wasn't as though he was usually part of the routine of putting Emma down to bed, but every once in a while, she pitched a fit and wouldn't close her eyes until either he'd finally come home and poked his head in the door, or I'd read her a couple extra stories.
I did my best to distract her. “Look at the new story that Janice got for you,” I said, holding up the book.
The woman had actually bought the book a few days ago, but I'd been saving it for a night just like this one.
Emma looked interested, but she wasn't about to forget that her daddy wasn't there to tuck her in. I could see from the way her lower lip wobbled that she was still upset.
“Maybe, by the time I finish this story, Daddy will be home to tell you goodnight,” I said, even though I knew I shouldn't.
If Andrew wasn't home by the time we finished the story, she was going to be even more upset. But I'd had a long day with not one, but two, job interviews, in two different parts of the city, and I was exhausted. I'd just have to hope that he would, in fact, make it home.
The story was cute, about a princess and her friendly dragons, and the pictures were funny enough to keep Emma interested and entertained. I sent up a silent thanks to Janice, reminding myself that I would need to thank her in person the next time I saw her.
But at the end of the story, Emma was clearly thinking of her daddy again.
I sighed and gave her a hug. “How are you doing, bug?” I asked her.
I felt bad that I hadn't really asked her that since we'd moved in with Andrew. As much as Misty kept reminding me that Emma probably wasn't going to remember all of this uncertainty when she grew up, I knew that the transition must have affected her. And given that Andrew and I still hadn't sat her down to discuss what was going on, she must be really confused.
I just didn't know what to say to her. Things seemed to be getting more serious with Andrew, but given his history, I wouldn't put it past him to panic and run away from any sort of commitment when presented with it.
“I want Daddy,” Emma said.
“I know you do,” I said softly. “You really like Daddy, huh?”
“Daddy's the bestest,” Emma said. “He's funny.”
“He is,” I agreed. “You like living here, don't you?”
“Uh huh,” Emma said. “JanJan”–that was her nickname for Janice–“and I was playing hide-'n-seek, and she couldn't find me cause the house was so big, and I'm so little!”
I smiled. “It is a big house,” I agreed. “Do you like it?”
“Uh huh!” But then, she frowned. “Are we gonna have to leave again, like we did at Aunt Misty's house?”
I winced. I should have known not to start this conversation, not when I didn't have concrete answers to questions like that. I wanted to promise her that we weren't going to have to leave, and indeed, Andrew had said that he wanted to have us stay for at least a few months while he and I worked things out. But at the same time, things could change, and I didn't want to promise anything when I didn't know exactly how long we were going to be able to stay there. For all I knew, Andrew had only proposed we stay there for a few months because that's how long it would take for him to get us settled into a place in downtown.
I didn't really think that was the case, but it was possible.
Emma, sensing my hesitation, burst into tears. “I don't wanna leave Daddy!” she wailed.
“Oh, honey,” I said, pulling her into my arms and stroking her back. I had known that she was getting attached to Andrew. Of course, she was. Andrew was unfailingly wonderful with her, always listening and attentive, showering her with love and spoiling her with little gifts.
“You're not going to have to leave Daddy.” That, at least, I could promise. Even if we no longer lived here, Andrew loved this little girl, and there was no way he was going to cut her out of his life.
Still, this did nothing to console Emma, who continued to sob against my shoulder.
“Emma, honey,” I said, hating what I was about to do but knowing that it was necessary. I settled her back down on the bed, holding her hands between mine and looking into her eyes. “We're not going to leave Daddy,” I told her. “It's going to be just like in all your stories. You and Daddy and I are going to live in this castle forever. We're going to live happily ever after.”
Emma sniffled. “We are?” she asked.
“Of course, we are,” I said firmly. I hated lying to her, but I didn't know what else to do. “Daddy loves you so much. He doesn't ever want you to leave.”
“Does Daddy love you, too?” she asked.
I swallowed hard, trying to push back my own tears. It wasn't that I wanted Andrew to tell me that he loved me. I wouldn't have believed him if he did. At the same time, when she asked it like that, it was heartbreaking to think that Andrew didn't love me, that he might never love me.
All I wanted was to promise Emma that Andrew and I were madly in love and that we were going to be together forever. But that was one lie that I couldn't bring myself to voice.
“Daddy loves you best,” I told Emma, hoping that would be enough for now. Sure enough, Emma giggled, settling back against the bed. “Okay,” she said. There was a knock on the door, and she clapped her hands in delight. “Daddy!”
I forced a smile onto my face, even though I still felt a bit heartsick over Emma's worries. “And the hero returns,” I said.
Andrew laughed as he came to join me by the side of the bed. “I don't know if I'd call myself a hero,” he said. “But I do know a pretty good story about a hero. You want to hear it?”
Emma nodded vigorously.
“All right,” Andrew said, pulling up a chair so that he could sit beside me.
He was close enough that our knees touched, and he caught my hand where it rested in my lap, stroking his thumb lightly across my knuckles as though sensing my distress.
I only hoped he hadn't heard the conversation Emma and I had just been having, but he gave no signs of having done so.
He proceeded to make up a story about a mighty knight named Orinoco, who used the magic of the IPO to get the “magical capital power,” which he needed to destroy the goblins of the “Poorly-Run Competitor Firms.”
Emma was all smiles by the end, and she quickly drifted off to sleep. I watched as Andrew tucked the blankets around her and then bent to kiss her forehead. Then, he turned towards me, a smirk on his face, and nodded towards the door.
I trailed after him into the hallway. “What a great story,” I said teasingly.
Andrew stuck his tongue out at me. “Well, the audience seemed to like it, anyway.”
“It's always work with you, isn't it?” I asked, unable to keep the sad note out of my voice.
“My work is very important to me,” Andrew agreed, nodding seriously. He caught my hips and pulled me close to him, fixing me with his piercing gaze. “But I'm making some changes. I had a meeting today with the executives, and I told them that I'm not going to be working as many hours from here on out. There may even be whole days that I take off from work! And they're just going to have to fend for themselves.”
I blinked at him, shocked by the declaration. “Really?” I asked.
“Don't get me wrong, I'm still a workaholic,” Andrew cautioned. “I'm not going to dro
p everything just to spend more time with Emma and you.”
“Of course not,” I said quickly. “I wouldn't dare think that.” But I couldn't keep the smile off my face. “At least you'll get to enjoy this house of yours a little more often.”
“Hmm, yes,” Andrew agreed. “I was also thinking that maybe you and I could set up a date-night.”
I could only stare at him for a moment. Then, I giggled. “You really don't seem like the kind of guy who sets up a date-night,” I said seriously. “Unless it's Friday nights, because you want to go drinking at the club and then go home and fuck.” Then, I winced, hardly able to believe that those words had just come out of my mouth. “Sorry. I just mean—”
“You're right,” Andrew interrupted. “I've never been the kind of guy to have a date-night. But I was thinking about it, and it seemed like maybe it would be a good idea for you and me. Maybe it would lend a little normalcy to our relationship. Remember how we talked about how abnormal this all is, given that Emma is an integral part of our relationship? This would let us have that, and let us get to know one another better. If you're not interested, though, we don't have to. It was just a thought that we had.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking surprisingly uncertain.
“I really like that idea,” I said softly. I couldn't believe that he had come up with it, frankly. But it was a great idea.
“Good,” Andrew said. “I need to juggle things around with my schedule and figure out how I'm going to do this, but once I have that all sorted out, we'll give it a shot.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Andrew
I glanced over at Lexi as I chopped onions. She was fidgeting worriedly again, sliding first a plate slightly to the left and then adjusting a wine glass two millimeters to the right. I smiled. “Katherine's been to my house before,” I told her.
Lexi gave me a startled and somewhat guilty look. “Of course, she has,” she said. But she was clearly confused as to why I'd said that.