She hesitated, and he wondered if she was going to lie. Finally she murmured, "1620 Fontana."
He raised his eyebrows as he put the car in gear. "You ran a long way." The address was more than three miles away.
She shrugged one shoulder, but didn't answer.
What was going on in her head? Was she angry? Ashamed? Embarrassed?
The car was quiet, the only sounds the hum of the engine and the whisper of the tires on the pavement. When they turned onto Addison, the occasional car sped past, but they were as good as invisible in the darkness – an anonymous car with two unidentified passengers.
Minutes ago, they'd shared a profoundly intimate experience. Now, they were two silent strangers in a small space. Nothing more.
Connor reached for Raine's hand and twined his fingers with hers. She did nothing for a long moment, then gently drew her hand away. Slid it beneath her thigh, as if trying to hide it from him.
Hide herself.
Minutes later, he stopped in front of her address. It was a three-story apartment with a courtyard between two wings and a wrought iron fence across the front. A secure building. Good. Harder for Northrup to get to her.
The motor idled and the tension inside the car stretched tight, like a rubber band pulled to its limit. Ready to snap.
Raine fumbled for the door handle. Connor turned the engine off and stepped into the chilly night air. He reached the other side of the car as Raine opened the door. She stumbled as she stepped toward the curb, missing it, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
She stiffened, and he was sure she'd wrench away from him. But she let him draw her close as they walked the few feet to the fence. Raine bent to untie a key from her shoe, inserted it into the lock, then fumbled the gate open.
He wanted to go inside with her. To curl around her in a bed, hold her while she slept.
He wouldn't ask. It would only compound the stupidity he'd committed this evening. He needed some distance. A chance to pull himself together. To figure out what the hell had happened back at Northrup's.
"Good night, Raine," he said.
She glanced up at him. He still couldn't read her expression. "'Night."
"I'll call you tomorrow."
"Okay." Without looking back, she walked to the door on the left side of the courtyard, opened it and disappeared.
***
Raine's legs wobbled as she walked into her apartment, and she rested her back against the door as she drew in a deep, trembling breath. Then she turned and locked the door, shooting the deadbolt into place.
The bolt couldn't keep out the danger tonight, though. She sank to the floor, curling her arms around her head. Tonight, she'd brought the danger home with her. She'd let Connor touch her. And not just physically.
Her heart ached as memories scrolled through her brain. The way Connor had kissed her. Caressed her. Made her fall apart in his arms.
The way she'd torn off his clothes and took him inside her. Held him while he'd come. Pressed her face into his neck afterward.
She was a fool. An idiot. Connor was a cop. He could derail all her plans.
He'd also proven she wasn't as strong as she'd thought. He'd neutralized her weapons – her arms, legs, hands. Worst of all, her mind. He'd overpowered her far too easily.
She'd wanted to be overpowered. By Connor.
He'd taken everything, and she'd given willingly.
She needed to regain control of herself. Of her mind. She was only strong if she thought she was strong. Connor had made her weak.
She needed to cut him out of her life.
She pushed to her feet and stumbled to the window to pull the blinds. She couldn't stop herself from looking toward the street, though.
His car was still there.
Did he think she'd go out again?
Was he waiting to play guardian angel?
Her heart clenched at the thought, and she yanked the blind down so hard it came loose from its bracket.
She fumbled it back into place, the headed for her bedroom without turning on the lights. She needed to sleep. In the morning, once she was rested, she'd be able to dismiss what had happened tonight. She'd tuck it into the mental folder labeled 'stupid things I've done' and forget about it.
The walls she constructed so carefully after Genie died had been blown apart. She'd begin rebuilding them tomorrow. Make them taller. Impenetrable.
Strong enough to keep Connor out.
But as she lay in bed, restless and wide awake, long-unused muscles pleasantly sore, Connor was all she could think about. The desire in his eyes. The way he'd touched her. Moved against her. Inside her. The desperation that had vibrated through him.
An echo of her own desperation. Her own need.
His tenderness afterward.
Would he really call tomorrow?
What if he didn't?
She rolled onto her other side. What if he did?
Chapter 9
The next morning, Raine turned off her phone. Connor had said he would call. She didn't want to be tempted if his name appeared on the screen.
She spent the afternoon at the dojo, sparring with the biggest guys who showed up. Some of them threw her, but she took most of them down. After three hours, dripping sweat, panting, every muscle aching, she walked to the sideline and picked up her water bottle.
As she gulped liquid down, Paul put his hands on her shoulders. "What is troubling you, Raine?"
"Nothing." She slapped her palm against the lid of the water bottle, clicking it into place. "Realized yesterday I'm getting rusty. Needed a workout."
"Tae kwon do should not be practiced in anger. It needs a calm mind. A steady heart."
After taking down the heaviest guy in the dojo, her heart was steady as a rock. And she'd beaten the anxiety out of her mind. Her confrontation with Connor had shaken her. Made her doubt her skills. It had taken three hours, but she'd gained back what she'd lost. She was ready for Peter.
She'd pay him another visit tonight. She'd keep showing up until he reacted. Until he went after her. Then she'd destroy him.
"Yes, Sayhun. My mind is calm. So is my heart."
A flicker of disappointment filled Paul's eyes for a moment, then it was gone. "Go home, Raine. Meditate. Come back when you have cleansed this anger from your body."
He walked away before she could respond. He disappeared into his office, and she waited for him to return. Tell her he'd been kidding. That she was fine.
The door to his office snicked shut.
Raine tossed her bottle into her bag and walked out of the dojo. She knew exactly how to cleanse the anger from her body.
***
She got to Peter's house at dusk that evening. He was home – she saw his shadow pass in front of the blinds. Flexing and clenching her fists, she waited for him to see her.
It took four hours, but he finally walked out the door. "What are you doing here, Raine?"
"Aren't you going to call the police, Peter? Tell them there's someone outside your house again?"
"Why would I do that?"
"You've done it before." Her heart sped up a little as he walked toward her. "You're one of their regulars, aren't you?"
He smiled, but his eyes were cold. Calculating. "I've decided the police don't need to get involved. I'll take care of my problems myself. You're an annoyance, but even annoyances can become...troubling. Problematic."
He studied her, his eyes devoid of emotion. Raine shuddered. Her palms began to sweat.
Don't let him see he's rattled you.
She lifted her chin. "Problematic? Why? I just stand here. You're free to ignore me."
A muscle twitched in his jaw. "My...guests want to know who you are. Why you're in front of my house."
"And what do you tell them, Peter?" She held his gaze, dared him to come closer. "That I'm your sister-in-law? That I know you killed my sister? Is that why I'm an annoyance?"
His face darkened and he grabbed her wrist. Got
close enough for her to see the black flecks in his brown irises. "Someone found Genie annoying, too, because she's dead. Is that what you want, Raine? To be reunited with your dead sister?"
"Are you going to make that happen?" she taunted. "Because I'm not Genie. I'll fight back. Do you have the balls to take me on, Peter?"
He shoved her backward into a car parked along the curb, and the car alarm went off. Loud, short bursts of sound bounced off the houses and echoed down the street. Her wrist hurt, but she wasn't going to look away first. She gathered herself, readied her muscles for an attack.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
The voice came from four houses down. A man walking a dog held his cell phone to his ear. "I'm calling the police."
Peter dropped her wrist as if she'd burned him. "Watch your step, Raine." Slashes of red outlined his cheekbones, and his mouth was a thin, hard line. "When you poke a stick at a bear, sometimes the bear pokes back."
"I'm not afraid of you, Peter." Raine crossed her arms and leaned against the steadily honking car. "You only pick on defenseless women."
"If you're not afraid of me, that makes you stupid. I know how to deal with stupid."
He spun around and walked into his house, closing the door softly behind him.
A siren wailed in the distance. The dog walker really had called the police. She pushed away from the car and began running in the opposite direction.
***
After school the next day, sore and aching from her long workout yesterday and her run that evening, Raine entered the gym. The girls were clustered on the mat, wearing their doboks, chattering away. "Start jogging around the gym while I get changed," she called.
Twenty minutes into their routine, Raine's gaze rested on Bella. The girl was working out by herself. On the other side of the mats. Usually, she and Renata were attached at the hip, with Katya trailing after them like an eager puppy.
"Everyone try that kick five more times," she said as she wove her way through the girls toward Bella.
Bella had her back to the rest of the team, so she didn't see Raine coming. When she touched the girl's shoulder, Bella jumped. She wasn't usually so skittish.
"Bella? Is something wrong?"
"No," she said, her voice hoarse. She kept her back to Raine and bent to re-tie her shoe.
Raine touched her shoulder. "Are you sick?"
"I'm fine."
Raine stepped in front of the girl. Bella put her hand to her throat, but not before Raine had seen the line of bruises there.
"Bella!" She took the girl's hand and tried to ease it away from her neck. Bella resisted. "Please, Bella," Raine said. "Let me see."
The girl's eyes filled with tears as she dropped her hand and looked away from Raine. The bruises were round. Finger-shaped. As if someone had tried to strangle her.
"Bella," Raine breathed. "What happened?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
Genie's face flashed in front of her, bruised and battered. Her sister had said the same thing every time Raine asked what had happened.
She wasn't going to stand by while another young woman was beaten.
Over Bella's shoulder, she saw Renata watching them. So were a couple of the other girls. She put her hands on the girl's shoulders. "Did you wear a turtleneck today?"
Bella nodded.
"Stay here. I'll tell them you're feeling sick and don't want to make them sick, too."
Bella blinked, sending two fat tears rolling down her cheeks. "Thank you, Ms. Taylor," she whispered.
"We'll talk after practice."
Fear filled Bella's eyes, and Raine knew the girl would try to bolt when they were finished. Raine wouldn't let her.
She headed back to the other girls, saying over her shoulder, "Go get a drink of water, Bella. Your throat will feel better."
As she reached the rest of the team, she said, "Bella has a sore throat. She thinks she's getting sick and she doesn't want to make the rest of us sick. That's why she's practicing by herself."
"She sounded bad at lunch," Renata said.
Raine was sure she had. Hot anger boiled inside her, but she shoved it down. Not the time or place. "Let's finish up so Bella can go home and rest."
She let the girls go twenty minutes early. As they headed toward the locker room to change, Raine caught the sleeve of Bella's dobok. "Hold on a minute. You probably don't want to go in there with everyone else, and I need to talk to you."
Bella hunched her shoulders, as if trying to hide the bruises on her neck. "What?"
"Who did this to you, Bella?"
Her gaze darted around the gym, toward the locker room, toward the door. Anywhere but at Raine. It made her sick to see outspoken, fiery Bella so timid.
"It's fine," she finally said.
"It's not fine," Raine answered, trying to keep her voice gentle. "No one has the right to choke you." She hesitated, then asked quietly, "Was it your father or your mother?"
"Not my mother." She touched the bruised area lightly. "She wouldn't hurt me."
"Your father, then."
Bella stared at her toes. "He's not my father. He's my mother's husband."
"Did your mother call the police?" Cold fury filled her, sending tremors through her body. Making her clench her fists. She wanted to beat the man who'd done this to Bella. Wanted to use her fists and feet to turn him into a bloody mess.
She took a breath and pushed it deep inside, where Bella couldn't see it. It would change nothing for Bella and would probably scare her. If she controlled her own anger, Bella might let her help.
"No police." Bella swallowed. "We don't call the police. And it happened when she was at the grocery store."
We don't call the police. After awhile, Genie wouldn't call the police, either. Guilt sat heavy on Raine's shoulders for not doing it herself. "This has happened before, then." She kept her voice low. Gentle.
Bella looked over her shoulder and sighed. "You can't do anything about it, Ms. Taylor. Okay? It's what he does when he loses his temper."
"Who else does he hurt?"
"We stay out of his way when he's...mad."
"Does he hit your mother?"
Bella didn't answer. Which meant yes. "What about your little sister?" Bella had a sister who was seven or eight.
"No. He doesn't hurt her."
Bella was probably protecting the girl. "Is that why he choked you? Because you wouldn't let him hurt her?"
She lifted one shoulder.
"Okay." The rest of the girls were coming out of the locker room, carrying their backpacks and chattering away. Raine waved to them, then turned back to Bella. "Would you like me to go to the police with you?"
"No!" Bella stared at her, appalled. "I told you! No police! If they come to our house..." She slid her gaze away. "It's worse."
"Not if they arrest him and take him away."
"They'll let him out of jail, and he'll come back."
So the police had gotten involved at some point, and it hadn't ended well. Bella's mother probably had refused to press charges.
"Go get dressed, Bella. Tomorrow, wear your turtleneck beneath your dobok at the meet. I'll tell the other girls that you still have a sore throat and need to keep it warm."
Bella's mouth quivered, and it broke Raine's heart to see the normally vibrant girl so beaten down. "Thank you, Ms. Taylor."
She turned away, but Raine put a hand oh her arm. "You know I have to call the police, don't you?" She kept her voice soft. Non-threatening. "It's the law."
"Please don't." Bella's eyes watered, and one fat tear slid down her cheek.
"I don't have a choice." She put her arm around Bella's shoulder. "Detective Jennings will be at the meet tomorrow. He could help you. He's a good guy. Or Detective," she swallowed. "Detective Donovan. He drove you back from the meet last week." It might be easier if Bella talked to someone she knew.
"You don't get it, Ms. Taylor. There's nothing you can do. Nothing the police can do, either." Bella's
eyes flashed, and she looked more like the child Raine knew.
"They'll arrest him. He won't be allowed near you."
Hope flared painfully in Bella's eyes, then disappeared. "You do what you have to do. But if you call the police, I'm running away. Taking my sister with me. If he gets hold of me, he'll kill me."
The teachers' training about child abuse was clear and non-negotiable. If you suspected abuse, you called the police. Period. It never addressed what to do when faced with a horrible choice.
She had to call the police. But what if Bella ran away? The dangers on the street were just as bad as the danger she faced at home.
Maybe worse.
"I'll give you my phone number," Raine said. "I'll go with you to talk to the police. I'll make sure you're safe. Please."
Bella rubbed the bruises on her throat. "No one can keep me safe."
Raine watched as the girl walked slowly to the locker room.
Chapter 10
Connor slumped on the bench in front of his locker at the precinct. Every part of his body ached with the need for sleep. Even his hair was tired.
But they'd gotten the guy. The case had started with a stupid argument over whether the Cubs or the White Sox were the better team. As far as Connor was concerned, both teams were losers. But the alcohol-fueled shouting match had escalated into a fight, and the Cubs fan had ended up with a knife in his chest.
Even after five years as a detective, the stupidity quotient of some people still managed to surprise Connor.
"Hey." His twin brother Quinn sat down next to him and nudged his shoulder. "At least the idiot will be in prison for a long time. Keeping the gene pool safe, right?"
Connor shoved his hands through his hair. "Yeah. Although the victim had a wife and two kids. He went to a bar and never came home. Don't think his kids care much about the gene pool."
Quinn put a heavy hand on his brother's shoulder. "Yeah, it sucks. But at least you got justice for his family. They'll know the guy who killed their father and husband will rot in prison."
Trust Me (The Donovan Family Book 4) Page 8