He scowled into his mug of coffee. Why wouldn't she act that way? He was acting like he wished he was anywhere but here in her kitchen.
It only took a few minutes for Raine to finish the cereal. She rinsed out her bowl and mug, set it in the sink and disappeared into her bathroom. She reappeared a few minutes later with her tan purse. "I have to go. I'll walk you out."
Her voice was cool. Controlled. As if she were talking to a stranger. It pissed him off.
What did you expect? That she'd be heartbroken because you're acting like an ass?
"I'll drive you to school," he said.
"Not necessary," she said. "The bus is fine."
"I said I'd drive you."
She stopped. Turned to look at him. Narrowed her gaze. "I prefer to take the bus."
"I don't give a good god-damn what you prefer. I'm driving you."
"Are you, now."
He closed his eyes. Inhaled deeply. Opened them to find her watching him. "Raine, I don't like the burglaries that have happened in your building. It would make me feel better to see you safely to school."
"Fine. If it would make you feel better."
She walked out the door, waited for him to join her, then locked it. She headed down the hall without looking back. Once in his car, she stared out the passenger window all the way to school.
He'd barely stopped the car when she jumped out and closed the door too carefully. He rolled down the window and leaned over to call, "I'll pick you up after practice."
She didn't turn around or acknowledge what he'd said.
He watched her until she disappeared. Then he slumped into the driver's seat. He'd been a jerk.
He'd freaked out last night after they'd made...had sex. Again this morning, when he'd woken up entangled with her. But he hadn't meant to hurt her.
He'd apologize when he picked her up. They'd be fine.
***
Raine heard Connor's car idling behind her as she walked toward the building. Felt him watching. Heard him say he'd pick her up.
She didn't look back.
Once she was inside the building, she closed her eyes and leaned against the wall for a moment. My God. How could she have been so stupid?
She'd let her walls down completely. Let him see her neediness. Her vulnerability. She'd shown Connor the person she kept hidden from the rest of the world.
She'd hoped.
And he'd freaked out.
It had been hard to miss his nerves this morning. The way his gaze jumped away when it met hers. How he'd been practically bouncing in his eagerness to leave.
They'd done more than have sex last night. They'd been...intimate. In so many ways. Today, he was practically hyperventilating in his desperation to get away from her.
The heavy weight of pain and loss sat on her chest, crushing her. Stealing her breath.
How could she have been such a fool?
She pushed herself away from the door. He was running. If he disappeared from her life, as she suspected he would, she'd deal with it. She'd survived Genie's murder. She could damn well survive a lover walking away.
Not just a lover. Connor.
She swallowed the thick lump of grief in her throat as she pushed through the inner doors into the school. She had to put her game face on in case one of the other teachers spotted her. Or, God forbid, one of the kids. It was early, but you never knew. She'd set her alarm earlier than usual, hoping she and Connor would have time to...yeah.
A fresh wave of pain rushed over her. She leaned against the lockers that lined the hall, trying to regain her balance.
No. She wasn't going to stand in the hall and moon about Connor. She needed to focus on something else.
Her sister's murder.
She'd seen most of Genie's murder file. After practice, she'd go home and re-create it. Plot her new strategy for destroying Peter.
After gulping several deep breaths, she straightened and headed toward the teacher's lounge.
As she walked into the empty room, she stopped dead.
No. She wasn't going to huddle in her apartment, trying to remember all the information in that file. Connor had said they'd work together. Figure out together what had happened.
He owed her that information. If being around her made him uncomfortable, that was too damn bad. She'd get the information from him and do it herself.
And if he decided not to run away? If he hung around?
She could do that, too. She'd take what she needed from him and keep it light. Casual. No strings, no messy attachments.
Her heart aching, she turned and walked back into the hall. Down to the office. Inhaling once, steadying herself, she knocked on the principal's door.
***
Forty minutes later, she walked into the police station on Irving Park Road. The overwhelming grief and fury she'd felt after Genie died, the rage at having the police dismiss her concerns, swept over her.
She closed her eyes. She couldn't do this if she was angry. Or thinking about Genie. She had to focus. Get what she needed and leave.
So she pushed the anger down deep. Deep enough that it wouldn't seep out. Then she opened her eyes and saw a bored-looking uniformed officer sitting at a circular desk. He was talking to an older woman. The officer's grey hair flopped over his forehead every time he nodded as he listened to her.
Finally he said, "Have a seat, ma'am. I'll have one of the detectives in Robbery come talk to you." He glanced at Raine, standing inside the door, and said wearily, "Can I help you, ma'am?"
"I need to speak to Detective Connor Donovan," she said crisply. She wasn't going to give him the chance to tell her to take a seat.
"And this is about...?"
"A murder investigation he's involved in."
"What's your name and what case is it?"
Raine cut her eyes toward the seated woman, who was watching avidly. "I'd rather not say out here. But detective Donovan will recognize me." She wasn't going to give Connor any advance warning. Any reason to tell her he'd lent the file to someone or left it in his car.
The officer studied her for a moment, then nodded. "Okay." He held out his hand. "I need to search your bag."
Raine set it on top of the desk and watched as he rummaged through it. Finally he handed it back and pointed behind him to a set of double doors framed by a metal detector. "Through those doors and up the stairs to the second floor. His desk is on the left. There are two Donovans back there. Make sure you read the sign on the desk."
She frowned. Of course she would recognize Connor. "Thank you, officer."
He nodded, then looked down at his desk. As Raine passed, she saw him reading the sports section of the Trib.
As Raine climbed the stairs and pushed through the door at the top, she heard phones ringing and the low murmur of conversation. She'd always thought police stations would be loud. Boisterous. Police officers rushing around. Criminals shouting.
This place sounded like a regular office. Calm. Business-like. Low-key.
As soon as she rounded the corner, she spotted Connor. He sat at a desk, feet propped up, reading a sheaf of papers. She headed toward him, then stopped.
Oh, my God. There was more than one of them.
And this one wasn't Connor.
The guy looked just like him, but he was wrong. More...muted than Connor. Not as vibrant.
He looked up and spotted her staring. "You looking for Connor Donovan?"
"Yes," she managed to say.
He jerked his thumb toward the left. "Four desks down."
As she passed him by, the detective grinned. "I'm Quinn. The good-looking Detective Donovan."
In spite of the tension twisting her stomach, Raine smiled. "Good to know."
She felt Quinn's gaze following her, but she didn't look back. The next two desks were empty, and then she spotted Connor. He was scribbling on a yellow legal pad as he held the phone to his ear. His shoulders were wide in his blue dress shirt, and he wore a darker blue tie that woul
d make his eyes even brighter. How could she have mistaken Quinn for Connor?
He lifted his head and spotted her. Froze. Then he murmured something into the phone and set it back on the desk.
"Raine. What's wrong? What are you doing here?"
Chapter 21
Raine drew in a deep breath. Let it out slowly, calming herself. She could do this. She could be cool. Impersonal. Pleasant. As if Connor were a business acquaintance and nothing more.
"I need copies of the contents of Genie's file," she said, her voice level and even. Good. Exactly the right tone. "All the information you have."
His eyebrows drew together. "Why?"
He wasn't stupid. He knew why. Her temper stirred.
She tamped it down. Not the place for emotion. "That was our deal." She was pleased by how calm she sounded. How rational. "Your information for my agreement to stay away from Peter."
"That wasn't our deal." He shoved away from his desk. To her right, Raine saw Quinn – Connor's brother – whip his head in their direction. "The deal was we work on it together."
"Deal's changed," she said. "It was a mistake to think I could work with you. I work better alone."
"This is about last night, isn't it?" His whisper was harsh as he crossed his arms over his chest. Stared at her.
"Not at all." It was about this morning. "Last night was nice." His face tightened at the bland, tepid word. "But our partnership isn't going to work."
His gaze darted around the room. He scowled when he saw his brother watching. "What are you doing here, anyway? Why aren't you in school?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but I took a personal day."
He walked around the desk and approached her. She lifted her chin. Dared him to touch her.
"What's wrong?" He reached for her face. Snatched his hand back when she narrowed her eyes.
"I shouldn't have gone in yesterday." She raised one shoulder. "I'm making up for it today. Taking it easy. I plan on reading what you have on Genie's murder."
"I'm not giving you copies. We work on it together."
She shrugged, as if his refusal didn't matter to her. "That's okay. I remember most of what we talked about." She let her gaze drift over him again as she turned.
She'd been right – the French blue shirt and navy tie made his eyes an electric blue. It wasn't fair that his eyes could turn her to mush. "I'll see you around, Connor."
Everyone knew what that meant – that it'd be a cold day in hell before she saw him again. But as she walked away, he followed.
As she clattered down the stairs, he kept up with her. Close enough to feel the heat of his body. Close enough to smell his woodsy, musky scent.
She gulped in stale air as she walked past the officer at the desk. Better that than Connor-scented air. As she pushed through the door, she felt his hand hovering at her back. She walked more quickly down the street, scanning for a taxi. Keeping away from Connor.
Before she spotted one, his hand closed over her wrist. He turned her around to face him. "What the hell is going on?"
She wrenched her arm away. "Absolutely nothing."
He shoved his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."
She raised one eyebrow. "For what?"
"For this morning."
"What did you do this morning?"
A muscle twitched in his jaw. "I was a jerk. I apologize."
"You have nothing to apologize for," she said, her voice cool. "The sex was fine. You made me come. End of story."
"That's not...it wasn't that way." He shoved his hand through his hair again, and the waves stood straight up on his head. She wanted to smooth them down. Finger-comb his hair, feel the silky strands against her palm.
"It was exactly that way." Cars rushed by on Irving Park. Turning her back on him, she glanced down the block and spotted a taxi. Raised her hand. He grabbed it and pulled it down.
"I'm at work," he said through clenched teeth. "Doing some important stuff. I can't leave now. We'll talk after my shift."
She raised one shoulder. "Or not."
He stared at her, a muscle in his jaw clenching and unclenching. Then he grabbed her hand. "I'll drive you home."
"Not necessary." She yanked her hand away from his.
He took it again and twined their fingers together as he headed toward the parking lot. "It's completely necessary."
She gave in because several people on the sidewalk were staring at them. She didn't want anyone to go into the precinct and get another cop out here. But she didn't like it.
The ride back to her apartment was tense. Uncomfortable. Connor's scent filled the car. His body was some kind of stupid magnet, trying to pull her toward him.
To avoid its power, she stared out the window at the buildings flashing past. Connor cleared his throat and she tensed. What was he going to say now they were alone?
He didn't speak. Neither did she. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. His left leg jiggled. Her palms were sweating, and she shoved them beneath her thighs.
By the time they reached her apartment building, it was hard to breathe. The tension filling the car had squeezed out everything else.
Raine leaped out of the car and gulped fresh air, untainted by Connor's scent. As she fumbled with the lock on the gate to the courtyard, Connor's car door slammed. She refused to look back at him.
He slid through the closing gate, then the lock clicked shut. As she headed for the door, his footsteps got closer. She walked faster, but he was right behind her. Pleased that she didn't falter, she unlocked the door to her building and started up the stairs.
His hand hovered at her back, its heat seeping through her shirt. He didn't touch her, though. She was relieved, she told herself. She was.
She opened her apartment door and began to walk inside, and he put his arm in front of her. Her breasts grazed it, sending electricity shooting through her body. She froze for a long moment, pressing into his arm. She closed her eyes. Move. Away.
Finally she stumbled back. That was almost as bad. The heat of his body made her back burn.
After a long moment, he said, "Let me take a look before you go inside." His voice was a hoarse rasp in her ear.
She managed to shrug, hoping he couldn't hear her heart thundering in her chest. "Be my guest."
She stepped aside, but he still brushed against her as he walked into her apartment. She drew a deep, shuddering breath and tried to steady herself.
He searched every room. Every closet. Checked all the windows, even though they were on the third floor. Finally he beckoned her in.
"Don't leave this apartment." He had his cop face on. Expressionless. Alert. Assessing. "Don't open the door to anyone but me. Keep the deadbolt engaged."
Anger stirred and she narrowed her eyes. "Why the hell should I do that?"
A muscle twitched in his jaw. "it's important, but I don't have time to explain right now. I'll be here before five."
"Any other orders?" she asked.
"Just do it, Raine."
"Or what?" She threw the door open and stared at him. Waited. He didn't move. She didn't look away. Neither did he.
Finally he swore. "Keep the door locked," he said as he walked out and closed the door. A little too hard.
She waited until she couldn't hear his footsteps in the hall, then flopped onto her couch. She refused to go to the window to watch him leave. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction.
***
Connor walked back into the precinct frustrated and angry. He'd been a dick. Raine had every right to be pissed off. But he'd apologized. More than once. That should be enough for anybody. Right? Why was she jerking him around? Why wouldn't she let it go?
Clearly, he didn't understand women. Which was why he kept things light.
Was that what he wanted with Raine? Light? Easy?
He didn't look at Quinn as he hurried past his twin's desk. He threw himself into his chair and picked up the legal pad where he'd scribbled his notes.
Moments later, Quinn plopped his ass on the corner of Connor's desk.
"Just figured out who that was. She's that karate chick. Jennings dragged me to one of her meets. She's hot."
"It's tae kwon do," Connor said between clenched teeth.
"What are you talking about?"
"She practices tae kwon do. Not karate."
Quinn's mouth curled into a grin. "That so?"
Frustration bubbled in Connor's veins. "Go to hell, Q. I have work to do."
"So all those...sparks with hot karate chick? That's work?"
"Don't call her that." A pulse pounded behind Connor's eye. "Her name is Raine."
"It looked personal with Raine. Private. You have something to share with the class?"
Connor leapt to his feet. "Back off, Q." He bumped his brother's chest. Got in his face. "Or I'll share something else with you."
"Jesus, Con. When did you get so touchy? You got a boil on your ass or something?" He raised his eyebrows, one corner of his mouth twitching.
Connor shoved his brother away. "Leave it alone, Q. Go back to your desk and forget about this. You hear me?"
Quinn studied him with a knowing look that made Connor squirm. Finally he nodded. "Yeah, I hear you. Loud and clear, bro." Quinn sauntered back to his desk. Before he reached it, he turned back. "I won't tell Mia. Or Mom. Twin code. But I want details. Soon."
Details? When pigs fly. Connor had always told his twin when he was dating someone casually. He wasn't telling Quinn about Raine.
Just like Quinn hadn't told Connor about Tessa, his now-fiancee.
Connor waited for the flash of panic to ease, then studied the yellow legal pad without seeing anything.
Not that it was the same. Not at all.
***
Connor stood in front of Raine's door, holding the warm, fragrant pizza box, afraid to knock. He was wearing a gun, for God's sake, and he couldn't bring himself to rap on her door.
Because he had no idea what to say. He needed to make things right with her. Needed to get back to the place they were twenty-four hours ago, but part of him was scared that was gone for good.
Trust Me (The Donovan Family Book 4) Page 18