by Pat Rosier
‘Well! she could have ….’
‘No, don’t, Shirley. For heaven’s sake!’ Isobel turned back to Nathan. ‘Did Daniel know?’
‘I’m not sure. I don’t think so. Mum only told me after he — died —. And it’s not an affair, not yet anyway, and she was hoping he would get a bit better so she could tell him and, I don’t know, leave him I suppose.’
Isobel looked at Iris, learning nothing. Iris looked back and said, ‘Well …?
‘Well,’ Isobel’s shoulders moved slightly, ‘I hope he didn’t know. I’m sad that he was so unhappy and that he did what he did. Sally stuck with him — he said — she kept him going, something like that. I’m surprised I’m not outraged on his behalf, but I’m not. Shirley?’
‘Not my business,’ said her sister, ‘Daniel made his decision. If we don’t get back they’ll be thinking we’ve had an accident.’
‘Music?’ asked Iris and slipped a Suede tape into the car stereo. A couple of songs later, when the silky voice began on ‘I wanna be seduced', Isobel changed it, without comment, to Frances Black and the safety of Celtic folk songs. No-one spoke until they were turning into Sally’s street, when Shirley leaned forward between Iris and Isobel and said, ‘Can I come and stay with you tonight and tomorrow? Nathan will be with Sally and — maybe one of her friends.’
‘Of course,’ they replied in unison.
‘Hey, thanks you guys.’ Nathan’s relief was palpable. ‘I’ll be around for another week or so, and her best mate Angie I know will look out for her ….' He flushed at Shirley’s raised eyebrows and as soon as Iris had pulled into the curb was out of the car and heading for the house.
‘Thanks, you two,’ and Shirley too, was on her way inside.
Isobel and Iris sat in the car and looked at each other. ‘Whew!’ said Isobel. ‘How come families are so much harder than friends …’
‘Speaking of which ….' Rei was heading towards them. She leant into the car window. ‘Don’t ask, I’m having a good week,’ she said. ‘Miriama and a couple of the others are still there but you’d better get in or you’ll miss them. I’m so sorry, Isobel, about your brother.’
‘Thanks. And thanks for coming. It would have been a small gathering indeed without our friends. I appreciate you all being here.’
‘Of course we came. And Miriama’s got messages from a few others who couldn’t make it. Take care, both of you.’
‘Come on, once more, then we can go home.’ Iris wiped a tear from her partner’s cheek. Taking Shirley with us, Isobel thought gloomily as she got out of the car, then, resolving to be generous to her sister, took Iris’s hand so they could walk in together.
It wasn’t hard to tell who it was that Nathan had referred to as the person Sally was seeing. His name was Martyn and he was tall and thin, worked as a computer programme tester and shared Sally’s enthusiasm for antiques. Isobel watched Sally watch him leave with another couple she’d met once at a dinner party, then went over to her sister-in-law and said, ‘Nathan told us, and it’s all right,’ and tears ran down Sally face. Like Daniel’s leaking Isobel thought, and put her arm around the other woman’s shoulder. ‘You’re allowed — expected even — to cry,’ she said ‘And it really is all right, about Martyn.’ Sally had found a handkerchief and was blowing her nose. ‘And,’ Isobel continued, ‘Shirley’s coming home with Iris and me if that’s okay.’
‘Okay? Oh yes!’ There was no mistaking her relief, then Sally flushed. ‘Nathan will be with me for a while yet, he’s looking for a flat …. Oh dear, bless you Isobel, bless you and Iris.’
When Isobel judged it to be late enough in the morning English time to ring Sarah, she went into the bedroom and left Shirley and Iris clearing up the desultory meal none of them had wanted. A man answered the phone and went to get Sarah. Isobel explained who she was and that she was ringing in case Sarah would like to hear about her father’s funeral and waited. Eventually Sarah said, ‘I’ve been very upset by Dad’s ….’ and stopped.
‘Of course, so have I, we all have, it’s only to be expected.’ Isobel wished she didn’t sound to herself like a very stuffy old aunt.
‘Did Mum ask you to ring? Or Nathan?’
‘No, it was my own idea. I picked up that you and your mother are not —close — and I thought you might like to hear.’
‘Well, you got the “not close” bit right!’
‘Sarah, is there anything you’d like me to tell you about, well, about what happened or about the funeral, or anything at all.’
‘No, not really. Dad hanged himself, he couldn’t stand it any more, he’s dead, that’s about all there is to it, isn’t it?’
No, it’s not all there is to it Isobel wanted to say, you’re upset and angry and I’ve got no idea what any of that is about.
‘Look, my mother, she’s a selfish cow, all right? Dad never stood a chance. I got out.’ There was something that sounded like a sob. ‘I abandoned him I guess, but I couldn’t bear it, couldn’t bear watching him trying, trying, trying, and not — oh shit! I appreciate you ringing Aunt Isobel, I really do, but I really, really can’t be dealing with my family right now.’ And the connection was broken.
‘Oh well,’ Isobel said to Iris, whose head had appeared around the door, ‘the best you could say about that is that I tried.’ Iris came into the room and closed the door. ‘Shirley’s getting her things together,’ she said, sitting on the bed and patting the space beside her. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Okay, I guess. Tired.’ They leaned in to each other and Isobel murmured pleasure as Iris rubbed between her shoulder blades.
‘The diary,’ said Isobel after a while, ‘I came across it when I was looking for photos of Daniel, you know, the one ….’
‘Indeed I do know the one.’ Iris kept rubbing.
‘Do you want to read it?’
‘Maybe I do. Maybe I will. One day.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~