by M. K. Moore
“If you’re going to make her a woman and defile her, at least have some decency and take her in a motel or something, before you walk away in the morning. Don’t add to her humiliation at thinking this is something, by taking her in front of an audience. What kind of men do you breed in Moosehead?”
The words from Jackie’s mouth are the anecdote for the hearts and flowers I was feeling a second ago. Dropping Sterling’s shirt like a hot potato, I move away from him and feel the sadness take over. For one fleeting second I believed we had something. How I let myself be swept up is a surprise.
Look at him. Tall, muscular, tattooed, and his hair. I have a thing for men with crazy hair and his always looks like he just got out of bed. When he smiles the whole sun radiates from behind him and I want to bask in his glow. Everything about me is dreary and dark, except for my hair and I want the warmth from him to secure me. But alas, I know he is not for me…or more so…I am not for him.
As I move to the stairs to go up them, all hell breaks loose. I hear my mom scream ouch. Someone yells bitch. And a glass breaks simultaneously. Turning around fast enough, I see Greta strike my mother over the head again with her walking stick. Sterling’s hand is dripping blood. I walk to him in a panic to tend to his hand and hear a crunch under my feet. The glass that was on the coffee table is on the floor. I instantly know he must have crushed it in his hand.
There are times I don’t know what comes over me, but I begin to laugh hysterically. The scene before me is ridiculous and chaotic; I don’t know where to start. The only way I know to deal, is to laugh. I literally have tears coming out of my eyes. The ludicrousness of this situation is not beyond me and I embrace it and not react with how I really feel, which is I want to fall to the ground and cry. This very scene is reminiscent of my life. Chaos and pain with no ending in sight.
Not realizing everyone has stopped and is looking at me like I am crazy because they don’t know what to make of me right now and I don’t care. This feels good. Almost like, I am purging something from myself. I am literally laughing and crying right now. It is only when I look at Sterling that I compose myself. He looks as if he could rip the head off of my mom right now, never mind the fact he is bleeding. I get a gut-wrenching pull to take care of him, knowing he is feeling this rage on my behalf.
“Sterling, you’re bleeding. What happened? Are you ok?”
He doesn’t answer me. He simply stares at me as if I am a puzzle he is trying to figure out and damn if I don’t want him too.
“Sterling. Are you going to answer me?” I say to him softly as I wipe the blood from his hand and place antiseptic on it. When he lifts my face with his other hand and stares straight into my soul, I literally feel him tinkering around looking for the answers to unlock me. I wish I had an answer to give him. If I did then maybe I could become someone he could be happy to be seen with, but….
“Stop it. Kennedy. Stop it right now.”
“Stop what? All I am doing is cleaning…”
“No. You are thinking about what your mom said and using it as an excuse to run away from me. From us and what is between us. Well, stop it. I am not going to let you. Your mother is jealous of you, baby. Can’t you see that? You are 10 times the woman she is. Ultimately you are more beautiful than she could ever be and she doesn’t want you to have more than she did. She has put those thoughts in your head to make you stay with her and never branch out. Well, FUCK that. You are worthy of 100 of anyone I know. Before this week is up, I will make you believe it. Got it baby?”
Wow!!! I don’t know what to say to him. All those words he used. Logically I know everything he says makes sense. But it has been ingrained in me since my father died and will not be easily broken.
I want to believe Sterling. He grabs my face and places the sweetest kiss on my forehead and then gives me a slow and perfectly innocent kiss on the lips. Looking me in the eye he says so only I can hear, “We are going to make you see the way I see you. I will not have my wife walking around doubting how much I love her and how beautiful she is. Now, can we?”
“Wife?” I whisper.
“Yes.” He says. “I am going to marry you by Valentine’s Day, baby. You might as well get used to it and start planning.”
“Why Valentine’s Day?” I slap my hand over my mouth as I realize what I said. I meant to deny his claim, but instead that came out and I don’t want to take it back. I want to be everything he needs.
“I said by Valentine’s Day because I know that is the day you were set to leave. Not happening.” He pecks me again and gives me one of his warnings, smoldering, and panty wetting looks. Smacking my butt he then says, “Now, go get dressed. I’m taking you out, baby girl.” How the hell can a girl resist that? I walk up the stairs with Mrs. Sterling Crawford swirling around in my head. Mmmm….I am in so much trouble.
MARRIAGE HAS NEVER BEEN ON my mind, until I met her. Kennedy. Everything about her makes me crazy. She has the type of personality that isn’t her own. I know I don’t know her very well yet, but she needs me. She may not know it yet, but I am going to be the best thing that has ever happened to her.
While I am waiting for her to get ready, I try to decide where I want to take her. She needs to be pampered, but I don’t want to be seen as a dick. Greta walks into the kitchen where I am sitting at the table.
“Hey Greta.”
“Sterling. That girl needs you.”
“Wow. I can’t get over how much you call them like you see them.”
“Life is too damn short. You need to get your girl before someone else does.”
I laugh out loud. Greta is a firecracker. Dale is a lucky bastard for sure. When Kennedy comes down the stairs, she has on a little black dress and some kind of sexy ass boots.
“You look beautiful.” I say as I stand up.
“Thanks. I wasn’t sure where we’re going and worried I don’t have anything fancy enough.”
“Baby, have no worries. I don’t do fancy.”
“But your truck and clothes suggest otherwise.”
“Trappings. I would rather go to my cabin in the woods and get up to stuff out there. Wow, that sounded so much better in my head. Not as creepy.”
She laughs. “It wasn’t that creepy Silver. Should we go?” She says laughing.
“Yeah, let’ go.” I say as I grab her hand.
“Bye Mama. Bye Greta.” Kennedy says with a cute little wave.
“Bye dear. You two have fun.” Greta says.
“Where are you going?” Jackie pipes up as I help Kennedy into her coat.
“Dinner and maybe a movie.” I say, shrugging. Telling these ladies I want to fuck this girl against a wall probably wouldn’t go ever well.
“Be back soon. What I am supposed to do for dinner?”
“Your an idiot and a grown ass woman. Figure it out yourself.” Greta says.
“I’ll bring you back something.”
“If she comes back.” I say my voice full of hope. Jackie needs to back off, but it’s not my place. Greta speaking her piece won’t do anything either, Kennedy has to be the one to set her straight. I lead her out of Dale’s house and into the SUV. Once she is buckled in I pull out of the driveway.
“I thought we’d go to Pepe’s. It’s an Italian/Mexican fusion restaurant over on Main Street.”
“That sounds delicious. So tell me about yourself?”
“Well, I work at my family’s construction company; I am a volunteer firefighter, and a tutor at the community college for business and accounting courses.”
“Wow. That’s a lot. Any hobbies?”
“Not really. I like to watch tv and hang out at the local bar with my brothers. Hobbies aren’t really my thing. What about you?”
“I was a waitress before we came here, but they wouldn’t give time off so I quit. Yeah, I have a lot going on right now. Hobbies are not my thing either. Maybe reading. I also like to knit.” When she laughs awkwardly, I reach over and grab the hand that is fidgeting with
the hem of her little dress.
“Baby, you are way too good for that. Unless it was your passion?” I say questionably.
“No it wasn’t.” She giggled.
“What is your passion?”
“I love to write and have started several books, but I haven’t found the time to finish one.”
“Well, on the bright side you now have time.” I say, because I don’t actually know what to say that would help her right now.
“Ya know that isn’t helpful right now.” she says as she squeezes my hand.
“I know. It was all I could think of.” When she laughs, I laugh along with her. This isn’t going well. As we get to the restaurant, I realize I have never been this nervous on a date before because i realize I need her more than my next breath. When the waitress comes over, I breathe out in relief. Alcohol.
“Hi! I am Maria. What can I get you folks to drink?”
“I will have the biggest margarita you have,” Kennedy says.
“I will have a Dos Equis.”
“Coming right up.” Maria leaves the table.
“Alcohol, huh?” I say. When the fuck did I become this dork? I can’t even hold a conversation with her.
“Yeah, sorry. I don’t think this was a good idea.” I am losing her before we even get started and need to get a handle on this.
“Kennedy, baby I am not sure why this is so awkward, but I am going to take this back to high school. I really like you.”
“I am making it awkward because I have a lot issues I need to overcome. I am not the girl for you. I will get an Uber and get out of here. I am sorry.” She jumps up and heads for the door.
I pull my wallet out, drop a twenty on the table, and rush out the door after her. “Good luck with the Uber baby.”
“What do you mean?”
“We don’t have anything like that here.”
“Oh, will you take me back to my grandfather’s house?”
“I could, but I am afraid if I do I will never see you again.”
“That would be for the best. I am not the girl for you.”
“You’ve said that twice now and I refuse to accept it.” I pull her by the waist closer to me. Leaving my hand on her waist, I put my other hand on her cheek and notice she has been crying. “Don’t cry pretty girl.” I say as I wipe the tears from her face. “You should let me love you.”
When she starts giggling, I lose it as well. “Did you mean to quote Mario?” She is still giggling.
“Uh. No, but R&B songs from 2004 are always relevant. How do you know who that is?”
“My mom. She grew up on that music. We might be able to do this.” She says just before I slam my lips down on hers. When she moans and pulls me closer, I know I will never kiss another woman again.
KISSING HIM IS A BAD idea, but I don’t want to stop. One minute I am running away and the next I am attacking him. I realized as I was walking away that I am plain and simply scared. I have been scared to take risks my whole life because I was told that I am nothing. When I am with Sterling, I don’t feel that way at all. I feel special, adored, and secure.
Standing here in the parking lot and kissing him, I feeling a gut-wrenching pain. Thinking about walking away from him in a few weeks, with nothing but memories and a few kisses, leaves me feeling depleted and sad. In this moment, while he is making love to my mouth and I am trying to find relief from the wetness in my panties and the tightening of my nipples; I decide for once I’m going to take a chance and take what I want.
“Sterling, take me home. Please. I have an ache that hasn’t gone away since I first saw you and I have denied and run away from it enough. Even though I know it will only last a few weeks until I leave, I don’t care. I want to feel more than shame and beat down for once, and you’re the only one that can give me that. Take me home and make me feel,” I whisper in his ear as I rub myself on him.
Pulling back as I look in his eyes, I see the hunger there causing me to moan out loud as I feel a ticking in my heart of an uneasy staccato. Waiting for his response is nerve wracking and makes me feel unsteady. As I am start to pull away, he grabs my waist in an almost painful grip, wraps his other hand around my head, and pulls my face to within an inch of his and says, “Kennedy, be sure. Be absolutely sure baby. Once I take you, you will mine forever. I know you think you are leaving in a few weeks and even though I know that is not happening; no matter what happens or doesn’t happen tonight, if we take this step, you will be wearing my ring within 24hrs. Then there will be no more running away from me.”
I am momentarily stunned. Forever…ring… those are words that would have sent me running in the other direction, 10 minutes ago. But now, I want forever with someone. I want someone to look at me and see their future and all that makes them happy. I want someone to hold me as if I am everything to them. A craving to build a future with someone who can not only offer me love, but security, hearth, and home as well. In my mind it’s crazy to think I can get that from Sterling after knowing him only for a few days. With my heart beating in a crazy rhythm, celebrating what it believes to be my own very happily ever after, I want to celebrate with it.
Abandoning all logic and tearing down the shield I have erected around my heart; I look at this beautiful man, who wants to show me what love is and jump off the cliff head first. “Ok, Sterling. I understand and I agree. I will be yours and wear your ring.”
When panic starts to rise, it is quickly erased the moment he picks me up and spins me around whooping and hollering. I cannot help but giggle and feel the elation he is sharing with me. It is time to run with this and see where it takes me.
I laugh harder than I ever have before. The feeling is incredible. “Come on baby girl. Let me get you home so I can show you what it means to be mine.” He growls into my neck while sinking his teeth into me. A shiver runs through my body and works its way from my neck, down my back and arms, and into my beating heart. Cupping my sensitive nipples as I rub them against his chest it goes straight to my panties, which are now wet, with the stickiness running down my legs.
Sterling notices my slight movement to try and squeeze my legs together to stop the ache. His nose begins to flare and I can see the veins in his neck jumping up and down. I know he is trying calm himself and it is the one thing I do not want. There will be no containing the beast he has been showing me these past few days. I want the beast that is feral and raw. I want to feel everything and to know I belong to someone.
Taking in his stature and the cords of muscles I can see through the t-shirt he is wearing; I lick my lips and scan my way down to his jeans and the bulge in his pants. It is both intimidating and exciting.
He clears his throat bringing me back to the fact that we are still in the parking lot. “You done getting your look baby? Because, now it is time for you to feel. Get your sexy ass in that damn car and don’t say a fucking word. I am barely hanging on. Anything you say and/or do will only make me crazier. Sit your butt there and don’t fucking move baby.”
I sit in the seat like he says, and try my hardest not to fidget and move because I am so damn turned on. He gets in the truck and starts it. This is literally the most sexually charged moment of my life. The power and control he is trying to reign in, is so fucking hot, I can barely stop myself from moaning.
“Fucking stop it Kennedy. I can see what you’re thinking. Damn it, your titties are showing me too. I told you not to do anything. The battle I am having to stop myself from pulling over to the side of the road and take you like an animal is almost consuming me. If you don’t stop that shaking shit and those god forsaken fuck me noises, I am going to do just that.”
I didn’t even know I was making noises. Apparently I am not doing a good job of containing myself. “Shit Kennedy. I can fucking smell you. Smell how horny you are and how much you want this. Damn it baby. From over here, you smell like the sweetest fucking lollipop in the candy store. I hope you’re ready baby. There is no fucking way I am going to be able to
contain myself once we get there because I have to sit in this goddamn car and smell you. Fuck this. Pull your skirt up baby and spread your legs.”
“What? Are you serious?”
“Kennedy, you do not want to tease a hungry tiger, baby. I told you to pull up your skirt and spread your legs. Are you wearing panties baby? When you spread your legs am I going to get a good view of my pussy?”
Oh God. I moan out loud now and don’t care. I should feel appalled at what he is asking me to do, but I can feel the throbbing in my pussy, the arousal dripping in my panties, and the throb of my clit as it asks for attention only he can give. In that moment, I know I will do exactly what he asks of me. Lifting my butt a little, I pull my skirt up and spread my legs. I am feeling so wanton and wild right now, which I don’t want this feeling to stop.
“Now put your fingers in my pussy and soak them in your honey baby. Afterwards, I want you to lift those same fingers and feed them to me. I need to taste you while we drive to your new home. I have a need for the taste of you on my lips and in my mouth, to calm the caveman inside of me before we get home. Now give me something to drink.”
Holy Shit!!
AS SHE DOES WHAT I tell her, I grip the steering wheel hard. The feeling of leather cracking under my finger tips. Her scent of arousal makes me crazy. I want to own every fucking inch of her perky little body. She is pushing her fingers in and out of her pussy. As I glance over at her from the corner of my eye, I see her working that pretty pussy. My mouth is watering. I speed through Moosehead, because I am a man on mission. When I reach the mountain road my cabin sits off of, I have to slow down.
“Why are you slowing down? You have to fucking hurry.”
“Baby, this is a gravel road. I can’t fuck it up because I am dying to be inside you.”