Dominic lets out a low moan and I feel warm, sticky fluid hit my hand.
“I’m so sorry,” he says as I pull away from his kiss to look down between us at the milky white substance covering my hand and his stomach.
I suppress a smile so he doesn’t feel bad. “It’s alright.”
He jumps up and gives me his t-shirt, “Here, wipe it off with this,” he says, looking quite embarrassed.
“Don’t be silly.” I get up off the sofa and go to the bathroom to wash my hands.
When I get back, Dominic’s dressed and sitting in the family room with the TV turned off, looking quite contrite.
“Did I do something wrong?” I ask. “Because I can do better; you just have to teach me.”
He takes my hands in his, lifts them and kisses all my fingers. “No, you were wonderful. I just hope I didn’t push you too far.”
“I wanted to try that, to give you pleasure. But I don’t think I’m ready to do more yet.”
Damn it, why do I feel like I’m denying his most basic need? I frown, feeling like a failure.
“Hey, why are you sad?” he asks as he runs his hand through my hair, separating the strands between his fingers.
“Because I can’t give you what you need yet. I’m so sorry. I mean I’ll understand if you want to…” I trail off because even though I can’t bear the thought of him turning to another woman, even if I do understand that as a man, he has certain desires.
He lifts my chin with a crooked finger and stares into my eyes. “What do you take me for? There’s only one woman I want and she’s sitting here beside me. I’ve never given you any reason to doubt me, or my feelings for you, have I? Please dismiss those negative thoughts from your beautiful mind. I only want you.” He kisses me. “Just.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss, kiss.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. What we just did was love in its most absolute form. So please, never say you’re sorry for anything we share together. Regardless of whether it’s inside or outside the bedroom.”
I smile when I hear his words.
We mold our bodies together as he turns the TV on and we watch a re-run of Hogan’s Heroes.
My mind begins to drift, as I look around my beige family room. My feet are curled up on my beige sofa, and Dominic’s arm is resting on a beige pillow.
“Dominic.”
“Hmmm.” He chuckles at the episode on TV.
“I think I’d like a purple family room.” I look around and imagine the exact hue I want, splattered artfully on my walls.
“I’ll hire a female painter,” he says as he kisses the top of my head.
I smile and close my eyes.
This blue jay has spread her wings.
Chapter 26
“How far away do your parents live?” I ask as Dominic navigates the roads.
“A little under half an hour. My brother is about another fifteen minutes away from there.”
He holds my hand on his thigh as he drives. I look out my window and take in the magnificence of nature.
It’s almost the end of summer and even though the days still hold heat in the air, the nights have become a little chilly. This afternoon there are a few gray clouds hanging around, but they appear to be distant and aren’t really going to bother us.
“You look beautiful tonight, Allyn.”
I look down at my long, calf-length black skirt and my pale yellow blouse and make a note that I want to add other colors to my wardrobe. Brighter, happier hues to reflect the brighter and happier me.
We get to an exclusive, gated community and Dominic pulls up alongside the guard house. The guard smiles and opens the gates for Dominic without saying a word to him.
I look over at Dominic in question. He glances at me and smiles. “That’s Phil. He’s been here for more years than I care to remember. He’s a good guy, too.”
The houses in this estate are nothing less than breathtaking and opulent, regal and stunning. Large Victorian-style mansions sprawl out on generous acreage.
Dominic drives slowly through the wide, tree-lined streets. He comes to a stop in front of a home that rivals the most majestic here. The sun is setting but there’s still enough light to see the homes scattered with artful precision. A sleek, blue convertible sports car sits proudly in the driveway, and I smile at the fact that Dominic’s father and mother would go zipping around in a car like that.
I haven’t met them yet. Dominic describes them as being proper and refined, so imagining them speeding down the interstate with the roof down and the wind blowing through their hair causes me to giggle.
“What’s funny?” Dominic asks as he opens his door before coming around and opening mine.
“Your parents’ sports car.” I point to the sculptured vehicle.
“Well that is funny, because that’s not their car. They each own the latest model Range Rover, not something like that. It must be Oscar’s, hmmm…strange he didn’t mention buying a new car.” Dominic scowls and the grip he has around my hand tightens. “I wonder what sort of skank he brought home with him tonight,” he murmurs, more to himself then to me.
We walk the long drive way and I begin to get nervous.
“Why are you trembling?” Dominic asks and puts his arm around my waist.
“What if they don’t like me?” I anxiously tug at the bottom of my blouse, wishing I’d worn something a little more sophisticated.
“They won’t like you, sweetheart. They’ll love you, just like I do. You make me happy and they’ll be over the moon that we’ve found each other.”
When Dominic and I reach the front door, he turns the knob and we step through. He’s pulling me along, but my body is screaming apprehension, and my mind is struggling with entering surroundings that I have no control over. I come to a sudden halt.
At home I know where everything is, where my panic buttons are, and where I can hide. I don’t know this place.
“Allyn, look at me.”
I look up and Dominic’s eyes regarding me with concern, but there’s a softness to his features too.
“Hold my hand and don’t let go. Take a deep breath, Allyn.”
I breathe in and hold it, but continue to stare into Dominic’s dark brown orbs.
“One, two, three,” his voice lowers. “Four, breathe out, five, six, seven.”
I take another deep breath and my lips turn up in a small smile.
“I’m alright. I’ll be fine. Thank you,” I whisper.
Dominic leans down, kisses me softly and tenderly runs his knuckles down the length of my jaw.
“Are you ready to meet my family now?” he asks as his lips hover over mine.
I just nod and stretch my neck to receive another kiss.
“Mom, Dad we’re here,” Dominic calls out.
“In the family room,” they respond.
“Come on, back here,” Dominic coaxes, not releasing my hand. We walk past a grand staircase that leads upstairs, and continue on down the bright, wide-open hallway, connecting to a separate wing of the house.
We enter a splendid, stately room. There’s an older man and an older lady standing near the unlit fire place, and a stunning blonde sitting gracefully on the brocade sofa.
The older couple seems incredibly distressed. The blonde bombshell stands and elegantly struts toward Dominic.
I notice that Dominic’s posture changes. His shoulders straighten and he lifts his chin in a decidedly challenging pose.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he says angrily. He glares at the woman.
“Darling, it’s your birthday. We always come to your parents’ home for your birthday. Happy thirty-ninth.” She leans in and kisses his cheek.
“Why did you let her in?” he ignores the woman and growls at his parents.
I assume this is Chelsea, Dominic’s ex-wife.
“We’re so sorry, son. She said you invited her and that you’re on good terms now.”
“Oh darling, I’ve miss
ed you.” She moves her piercing blue eyes over to me, and looks me up and down. Her lip curls up in a sneer. “You mean you left me for that?” She points to me in a condescending manner.
“I left you because you’re a liar and a manipulator.” Dominic’s clipped tone barely conceals his rage.
She turns away slightly and waves her hand dismissively. “Oh please, it was just a small misunderstanding that you took to heart. And really, look at her. Is she retarded? She hasn’t said a word, just stands there gaping at me.”
“Enough!” Dominic yells.
He lets go of my hand and I feel the loss of his contact and warmth.
He wraps his hand around the top of her arm and forcefully tugs her toward the front door.
“You do not come here, into my parents’ home, and create a scene. You do not have any right to look at my girlfriend and say anything about her. Ever. Do you understand?”
“You’ll beg me to come back. She’s ugly. I’m beautiful,” Chelsea says with supreme confidence.
“She’s extraordinary. Now fuck off and don’t come back, because I’ll have a restraining order slapped on you so fast you damn well won’t know what hit you. You got my money, and it’s quite obvious you’re spending it if that’s your car outside. There’s nothing more for you here, Chelsea.”
“But, Dom, I love you,” she says with what sounds like a practiced and plastic pout.
I hear the front door slam shut seconds after her statement and I stand looking awkwardly at his parents.
She’s right though. In comparison to her, I really am ugly.
From what Dominic’s told me about her, though, she’s not half the person that I am.
Internal ugliness can be masked by external beauty only until that ugly is exposed. And right now, she’s brought to light just what a horrid person she truly is.
“I’m so sorry.” Dominic whispers in my ear as he takes my hand and leads me away from his parents.
We step into what I assume is a study, and he closes the door.
“I didn’t know she was going to be here. I’m really sorry, Allyn. What she said about you was completely uncalled for.” He rubs his hands up and down my arms as he ducks his head down to look into my eyes.
“It’s not your fault, so please forget it. I don’t want to stay in here while your parents are waiting to wish you a happy birthday.”
I turn to leave, but Dominic pulls me back into his arms.
“I love you, and only you. Kiss me,” he softly commands. I can’t help but lift my head to accept his warm lips on mine.
His hand cups my cheek as his thumb gently strokes the skin under my eye. His body curls against me.
“Come on,” he says as he brings our foreheads together. “I’d really like my mom and dad to meet you.” He kisses my cheek.
“Okay,” I mumble as we walk out of the room holding hands.
The moment we’re back in the family room, Dominic’s mother gathers me in a strong embrace and whispers apologies.
“I’m so sorry, Allyn. That woman is vile. This is the first time I’ve ever seen her act like that. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” She hugs me closer then steps back to look at me. “Please forgive us, we really didn’t know.”
“Please Mrs. Shriver, you aren’t to blame.”
“It’s Doris, and this is John.” She holds her hand out to her husband and Dominic’s father.
John walks toward me and shakes my hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Allyn,” he says and looks quite uncomfortable.
I quickly check my hair and find that my right ear is exposed, which is apparently making him feel awkward. I rearrange my hair so they can’t see my ear and turn to look at Dominic.
“Oscar’s not here yet?” Dominic asks, filling a harsh silence.
“No he called and said he’s running late and to go ahead and have dinner without him. He said he’ll be here for cake though,” Doris says. “Come on kids, let’s go have dinner.”
John indicates for Dominic and me to go ahead of him, and he quietly follows behind us.
The dining room is an extension of the serene and beautiful décor I’ve seen in the rest of the house.
Dominic pulls my chair out and I sit, and he takes his place next to me. John and Doris sit opposite us and still look unsettled at what’s transpired this evening.
I feel a little on display, like I need to impress them, but I can tell that they’re fairly quiet people too.
“Tell us, Allyn, what do you do?” Doris innocently asks.
“Um, I don’t work anymore,” I reply softly, hoping she doesn’t ask me why.
Dominic’s hand on my thigh tightens and I look over to find him smiling at me.
“Dominic says you live close to him,” John says as their butler places a flat, white plate in front of me. There’s a round, pinkish mound on it. “Yes, he lives only a few minutes from me.”
I look over to Dominic and wait until he tells me what it is.
“It’s tuna tartare, one of my favorites,” he whispers.
I reach for my fork to taste it. It’s quite subtle and delicious, so I happily eat it.
“Have you ever travelled, Allyn? Doris and I love to discover new places. There aren’t a lot of states we haven’t visited in America.” He turns to his wife. “Do you remember the time we took the boys to the Grand Canyon and Dominic decided he wanted to bring that hurt lizard back with us?” Doris starts chuckling and I can’t help but laugh along at the contagious sound.
“It’s not true,” Dominic says, interrupting the laughter.
“Oh it is, Allyn. Dominic found a lizard that had been clipped by something and it was trying to move. He picked the damn thing up and brought it over to his mother and said, ‘Mommy I can fix him.’ Doris jumped through the roof and Oscar started arguing with Dominic, telling him to put it down or he’d get rabies. I was laughing so hard,” John says. Doris and I are laughing and Dominic has his own rueful smile as he continues to eat his entrée.
“It wasn’t like that,” Dominic says.
“It certainly was exactly like that. How old was Dominic then? About eight, Doris?”
“I was ten and Oscar was nine. And I could have saved the lizard.”
That statement alone is enough to make us all laugh even harder.
“Dominic, I need to use the bathroom,” I whisper, trying not to alert his parents.
“I’ll show you,” he says and stands to move my chair out for me.
“Excuse me,” I say to his parents. They’re both too busy laughing at their son to really notice us leaving the table.
“It’s this way,” Dominic points out as he holds my hand.
“Your parents are really funny.”
“I think they were nervous about meeting you, but let me tell you, that the whole lizard thing? I definitely could’ve saved it.”
I giggle again at him.
As we walk down the hallway, I hear the front door close and a deep voice call, “I’m here.” Then, lower, “Hang on, I just got to my parents’ house.”
“Oh, Oscar’s here. I can’t wait for you to meet him. It sounds like he’s on the phone with someone. I’ll introduce you when you come out of the bathroom.”
“Ha, yeah, you’re hilarious,” says Oscar in a deep gravelly voice, talking to the person on the phone. “Well, you best shut that cunt up then, eh?”
I notice that distinct tang in his voice, almost like a country singer. He rolls the N in his word, like his tongue stays connected with the roof of his mouth for a moment too long. I know that voice; I hear it in my nightmares.
I freeze, completely unable to move.
Cold washes over me.
My throat closes and my stomach spasms, wanting to expel everything inside it.
“Allyn, you’re trembling.”
I can’t breathe.
My panic button, where’s my panic button? Where the fuck is my panic button?!
I feel some
thing wet run down my leg. I look down, horrified, at the puddle beneath me on the hardwood floor. I’ve wet myself.
My body begins to shut down.
Black spots cloud my eyes.
It’s him.
He’s found me.
He’ll kill me.
I collapse.
Chapter 27
Dominic
What the fuck?
Allyn collapses. Luckily, I’m standing next to her and I instinctively reach out to catch her in my arms before she hits the floor.
“Allyn,” I say loudly, trying to rouse her from her unconscious state.
What the hell just happened?
I replay the last few seconds in my head as I lift her and take her to the sofa. Her skirt is drenched and I look down to see she’s lost control of her bladder.
I take a few steps and stop.
“Mom,” I yell urgently. She comes running out to the foyer and looks around frantically. “Take care of Allyn.”
I know what’s happened. There’s only one thing that could frighten her badly enough to wet herself and pass out.
Part of my education taught me to understand how a victim of abuse reacts when confronted by an abuser.
I place Allyn on the sofa and don’t stop to worry about her wet clothes. There’s a throw on the back of the sofa and I cover her with it.
Fuck. Now I know Oscar had a part in Allyn’s attack.
Oscar’s standing in the hallway, at the edge of the family room. He’s still talking on the phone as I lunge for him. He doesn’t see the punch coming before my fist makes contact with his goddamn chin.
“What the fuck did you do?” I shout at him.
“Nothing. What the fuck’s wrong with you?” he says as he stumbles back. Understanding starts to dawn in his eyes. His phone is still in his hand. “Wait, let me make a call.” I grab the phone and throw it against the wall. It smashes and pieces fly in all different directions.
I don’t give him a chance to say another fucking word, I grab him by the collar and start smashing his face, not holding anything back.
He hits me with an uppercut, causing me to stumble back and lose my hold on him.
“I didn’t do anything,” he screams, holding his hands up in a defensive stance.
A Life Less Broken Page 15