by Dallas Cole
“Cult. Yeah.” I laugh, bitter. “Well, it really is family for me. I owe Uncle D my life. I just . . . sometimes I wish I could learn how to be my own person around them, too.”
“You are you own person. Look at you.” Lennox waves the flowers toward me. “You’re goddamned gorgeous. Clever as can be. Good with cars, with numbers . . . And so far, you’ve made good choices. Nothing catastrophic, you know? Nothing you can’t come back from.”
I tilt my head back against the tree trunk. “No. Just a bunch of promises I can’t keep.”
Lennox goes very still. Fuck. I’m way out of line, and we both know it. He exhales and lowers his head. “Yeah, well, you’re not the only one.”
I swallow and close my eyes.
“Maybe we could get away,” he says quietly. “If—if you wanted to. Even if just for an evening. Leave Ridgecrest behind.”
I open my eyes again and meet his warm brown gaze. For all the sadness around his edges, it’s still as inviting and comforting as it was years ago. “Yeah?” I smile, nervous. “You’d—you’d do that with me?”
“You know me. I’ve always been a sucker for trying to put a smile on your face.” Lennox grins. He leans toward me and tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “And I don’t think I’ve seen you smile—not really—ever since I came back.”
My chest aches with sadness. “Things haven’t been easy lately,” I admit. “Honestly, they haven’t been easy for years.”
“Well, I’d love the chance to set things right. Ellie . . . Sometimes, memories of you were the only thing that got me through a rough night on the inside.” He ducks his head, embarrassed. “I figure the least I can do is return the favor, if you’ll let me.”
A chance to get away and sort out what I want to tell Nash. And a chance to spend more time with Lennox. I’ve heard the crew’s side of the story for four years, now. Maybe it’s Lennox’s turn.
And this yearning in my gut—for control, for a voice in my own life—makes it so hard to say no. Almost as hard as those warm brown eyes of Lennox’s.
“Then let’s do it.” I reach for his hand. “Where did you have in mind?”
Lennox squeezes my fingers, soft and reassuring. “There’s a bar out past Highway 12, couple of towns over. They’re having a pool tournament tomorrow night. No crews, no obligations, just fun. I thought I might enter.”
“I remember you used to clean out Troy and Cyrus at pool,” I say.
He grins. “I’m out of practice, but it could be fun. And I remember you weren’t too bad yourself. Plus . . .” Lennox’s eyes gleam in the sunset. “They say west of Highway 12 is some of the best stargazing you can find out here.”
“Sounds like a dream come true.” Especially with Lennox. I look down at our hands laced together. I’m scared to even think of the promise he made me, way back when, but I can’t help it. That fragment of hope I thought I’d buried has resurfaced in me. “Yes. Let’s go. If you’re serious . . . let’s go.”
“I’ll pick you up after work tomorrow.” He raises my hand to his lips and places a lingering kiss against my knuckles. Hot threads of hunger shoot through me. I can only imagine all the other places I’d love to feel his lips . . . “Then it’s a date.”
10
Elena
Lennox called it a date. Did he really mean it? I spend the entire next day at the shop torturing myself with those words. Thankfully, Nash, Jagger, and Cyrus are all too hungover from Troy’s memorial to pop in, so it’s just me and Uncle Drazic, working in our own separate corners of the shop. All the same, guilt and apprehension sits like lead in my stomach every time Drazic and I pass. I have to tell him something. I’m just not sure I’m ready to tell him the whole truth.
“Hey, djevojka?” Drazic asks, after I finish filing some papers for him. “Forgot to tell you. I’ll be home pretty late tonight. The boys and I have some errands to run.”
Errands. Right. “Um, actually . . . I’m going to be out, too. With friends,” I add, before I can stop myself. Technically, it’s true. It’s just that I can’t remember the last time I had a close friend who wasn’t a part of the crew.
“Oh. Oh, okay, yeah. That sounds good for you.” Drazic smiles, trying to be encouraging. “Just don’t drink and drive, all right?”
“Please. You don’t even have to say it.” I purse my lips.
“I know. I’m just—trying to do that uncle thing.” He flicks the end of my ponytail. “Hope you have a good time.”
I certainly hope so, too.
I hear Lennox’s Mustang rumbling up the hillside not long after I get home from the shop. He glances nervously up the drive as I hop out, wave at him, and turn to lock the front door. “You don’t have to look so nervous,” I tell him as I slide into the passenger’s seat. “There’s no one home.”
“Sorry. Habit, I guess.” He turns and looks me over. I’m wearing a fitted black dress with fluttery cap sleeves and lace trim—soft and feminine while still matching my trademark palette—and I spent way too long trying to figure out how to do a decent job of eye makeup. The low, appreciative whistle Lennox makes tells me it was worth the effort. “You look amazing, Ellie.”
My face flushes with heat. “You always look amazing. I mean . . .” I bite my lower lip and glance away. “I mean . . . You looked great before, but now you’re extra hot.”
Lennox laughs from his belly. The sound warms me up, easing away my nerves. “Hot, huh?” He shifts the Mustang into gear and heads for Highway 12, then reaches over to pat my thigh. “And how long have you been keeping that little secret?”
“You don’t even wanna know.” I look down at his hand resting against my thigh and blush again. This—us together, us so at ease with one another, open and honest—feels so natural to me that it’s hard to believe we never had this before. It feels like we should have always been this way. Together. Maybe we should have.
But maybe it’s better late than never to start.
“Okay. The tournament’s at eight. But first, there’s a stop we have to make. Something I’ve been dying to do ever since I got out. I used to fantasize about it back in my windowless cell, in fact.”
Both my eyebrows shoot up. “Fantasize, huh?”
“Yeah.” He grins slyly; his fingers rub back and forth against my thigh, teasing at the hem of my dress. “You’ll see.”
Highway 12 winds across the high desert and into the foothills of the next ridge over from Ridgecrest. We fall into an easy silence, listening to the engine roar and the wind whip around the car. The sky is a deep orange now, edged in purple, though once we get to the other side of the ridge, I can see hints of blue and green against the horizon, crowded around the hot disc of the sun.
Lennox finds a scenic overlook and pulls us over to the side. “C’mon. It’s almost time.”
We climb out of the Mustang and perch on the still-warm hood of the car, side by side. “Sunset flash,” Lennox explains. “I can’t tell you how much I missed watching the sunset while I was on the inside. Seems like such a silly thing, but it’s so beautiful. Such a constant when you’re living free, and I had no idea how strange it would feel to live without it.”
“I can’t blame you.” I prop my hands behind me and lean back. My gaze keeps drifting from the sunset, though, toward Lennox—the faint lines around his eyes as he squints into the sun; the tension in his shoulders and arms. I wonder if he can ever live so carefree again. If he can ever reach a point where he takes the sunset for granted once more. Probably not.
“Elena . . . listen.” He swallows, audibly, and keeps his gaze straight ahead. “I made a promise to you long ago, and I want you to know I—I haven’t forgotten about that. I swore to you that someday, if circumstances aligned, I’d be a better man. I’d be the man for you.”
My breath hitches in my throat. All those things I felt for Lennox years ago come roaring back. He was my hero and my heartthrob. The voice of reason and compassion I needed to untangle my mixed-up teenage mind
. And he was real. Honest. Solid. He was everything I longed to be. He made me want to be better.
He made me want to be his.
“I mean . . .” I take a deep breath. I don’t want to scare him off. “It was a long time ago, and I understand if you don’t still feel—”
“No. No, it isn’t that at all.” His eyebrows draw down. “It’s just that . . . I’m not that man yet.”
I exhale carefully, trying not to let my heartbreak show. Somehow, this feels a thousand times worse than even my worst fights and worst disappointments with Nash. And that’s when I know—Nash never truly mattered to me. Not the way Lennox did. But like the sunset, I didn’t know what I was missing.
“I’m trying to get there, really I am. But it’s taking so fucking long to get all this shit sorted. Working for the McManuses, and then keeping the Cartwrights happy . . .”
I frown. What does he owe the Cartwrights still? I’m not worried about him still being attracted to Amber. It sounded like he slammed the door on that possibility when she abandoned him during his imprisonment. But Amber’s dad is a terrifying man, and I’d hate to think Lennox might be in any way indebted to him.
“But once I’m free and clear, Elena . . . I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”
“God, Lennox. I don’t care about you being perfect. You know me.” I wrap my arms around myself. “I just want you. All I’ve ever wanted is you.”
A warm smile spreads across Lennox’s face. We turn back toward the sunset, just in time. It flares hot white against the distant mountains, then sinks, leaving us in the hazy purple of twilight.
“I want you too, Elena.”
My heart is pounding. It feels like a drumbeat under my skin, drawing me toward Lennox. It stokes a fire deep in my gut.
“But I’ve done terrible things.” He sighs. “I’m doing them still. I don’t want to be that man. You . . .” He turns toward me, the twilight glimmering in his sad eyes. “You deserve better.”
“No. Don’t say that. That’s bullshit.” I nudge him with the toe of my boot. “You’re still Lennox, and you’ll always be Lennox. The man I love. The man I’ve always loved.”
Lennox raises one hand to my face and caresses my cheek. He cradles it so tenderly, as if he’s afraid of shattering this moment. I’m terrified—fear I’ve said too much—but the expression on his face puts me at ease. He’s genuinely happy.
“And I’ve always loved you, Elena.”
His thumb grazes against my lower lip. I kiss the pad of his thumb, then seize his hand. Kiss his palm. His wrist, his pulse throbbing against my mouth. Lennox slides his hand under my chin and tilts my face up to meet his. My stomach clenches. This moment I’ve dreamed of for years. The promise of this moment that carried me through every dark thought. And now it’s happening.
Lennox’s lips sink into mine, warm and inviting. He tastes like late summer, warm and spicy and soothing. Slowly, his mouth moves against me, coaxing my lips open, and I taste every inch of him. His hand curls around my neck, tangling in my hair that I spent way too long trying to style, and I couldn’t care less if he messes it up.
“God, you’re incredible,” he breathes, as he pauses to catch his breath. He presses his forehead against mine and runs his thumb against my cheekbone. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do this.”
“Me either.” I laugh, and kiss my way across his cheek, then suck gently at the hollow beneath his jaw.
Lennox lets loose a low growl and pulls me against him. “Fuck. I want you so bad, Ellie.”
“Then what are you afraid of?” I ask.
“Of disappointing you.” His fingers trail down my neck and finger the straps of my dress. “You’re so gorgeous. You have such a strong heart, and a quiet certainness about you . . . I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long. I swear, if I could change things, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
“You don’t need to change a thing.” I kiss the tip of his nose. “Now shut up and kiss me.”
Lennox laughs, swings off the hood of the car, and stands before me, his body pressed between my thighs. I tilt my head back to greet his kisses, but then his mouth trails lower, teasing and sucking as he goes, sending a hot flare straight to my core. He’s intense—heat and sharp pleasure and dark promises of even more to come. I grip the fabric of his black button-down shirt and pull him closer as his tongue flicks against the neckline of my dress.
“Incredible.” He cups my breast in one hand and teases the edge of my neckline. “The way you taste, and smell, and feel . . . I want you so bad.”
I shiver as he eases my breast out from beneath my dress. The cool evening air rushes over my skin, heightening the sensation against my nerve endings. “I want you, too.”
He laughs, hot breath moving over my skin, and swirls his tongue against my nipple in response.
“Oh, fuck.” I suck in air as pleasure washes through me. He’s hot and cold at once, his mouth coaxing me into submission. I want to feel that mouth everywhere. I run my fingers through Lennox’s dark hair and close my eyes.
His tongue works magic against my breast as his teeth scrape me just so. Heat flares deep in my gut and between my thighs. For all the times I’ve done this with Nash, I realize that it was really this I was dreaming of—of Lennox. Of these lips, this single-minded determination of his to please to me, to get me off.
My back arches as Lennox teases my breast further. He brings one hand up under the hemline of my dress and traces a slow circle against the inside of my thigh. “Is this okay?” he murmurs. “Because I want more. I want to taste every part of you.”
My thighs tense in response. Yes. My throat is parched, but I manage a nod. His eyes lock on mine, acknowledging, then he slides his other hand beneath my dress.
Lennox scoots me to the edge of the car’s hood as he pushes the hem up around my hips. I ease back on the still-warm hood, but it’s nothing compared to the heat rising off of Lennox’s touch as he spreads my legs wide. He kisses the inside of my thigh, just above my knee, and sucks the tender skin there, sending a shot of pleasure straight up my center. Then his mouth trails higher, kissing and sucking as he goes.
“I can’t tell you how much I’ve fantasized about this, too.” His words are hot bursts of air against my bared skin. His fingers tease at the edge of my panties, tugging at the elastic. “Of the expression on your face, serious and delighted all at once. Of your gorgeous voice, gasping for air and calling my name.” He licks the line of soft flesh just beneath my panties. “Will you call it for me?”
“Fuck, yes. Oh, fuck.” I grip his hair tighter between my fingers. He’s already driving me wild. I can’t even imagine how much I’m going to scream.
“Good,” Lennox says.
Then he darts his tongue beneath the elastic, grazing against the edge of my lips.
Shit. I rock backward with a groan. He hooks his thumbs on the edge of my panties, and tugs them down around my ankles. I’m completely exposed to him now, and completely wet for him. He slips one finger between my lips, and teases at my clit. “Fuck. Lennox, fuck.” I clench my jaw, trying to stifle another moan.
“Is that a good fuck, or a bad fuck?” he asks, a wry grin on his lips. His fingers spread me open, and lowers his face between my thighs, licking again around the soft insides of them.
“A good fuck. An incredible fuck. Mind-blowing, even.”
“Good,” he purrs. Then swirls his tongue against my clit.
A deluge of pleasure courses through me. Each probe of his tongue brings a fresh sensation pulsing through me, and his fingers slip inside me to bring me closer to the edge. I rock my hips against his hand as he sucks me, guiding me toward the edge. If I’m not careful, I’m going to lose it. I grip his hair harder. “Lennox—you’re going to make me—”
“Come,” he murmurs, then licks his lips. “Come for me. I want to know how good you feel.”
I draw a ragged breath as he sucks my clit hard. Feel the rub of his fingers inside. His da
rk eyes, watching me, drinking in my delight. And then it happens—a hot strike of lightning right in my center, crackling outward. I cry out, thighs locking around his face, then slump backward against the hood of the car. Every inch of me is electrified, the pleasure splintering and coursing through me.
For a few moments, I can’t even move or think. I just lie there, savoring the feel of Lennox, of Lennox Fucking Solt’s face between my legs and the aftershock of my climax pulsing through me. Then he kisses his way back down my leg and gently pulls me back to the present.
“You’re incredible, El,” he murmurs. His eyes sparkle in the darkening air. “Simply incredible.”
“So are you.” I laugh, low and throaty, and nudge him with my foot.
The high-pitched whine of motorcycle engines whip past us, reminding us where we are. The bikers shout and cheer at us. Lennox waves one hand toward them, a sloppy grin on his face.
“Oh, fuck.” I cover my face with my hand. “They didn’t see us, did they?”
“Nah, doubt it.” He helps me ease my panties back up over my hips. “Though you put on quite a show.”
I’m glad it’s darker now so he can’t see how red my face must be. Although after what he just did to me, I’m not sure I should be embarrassed anymore. Good lord. Lennox Solt went down on me—and he said he’s been dreaming of it for a long time. Wow. Well, it’s good to know I wasn’t alone in my fantasies.
I can’t wait to see what else he’s been dreaming of doing to me . . .
“C’mon, El. We can still make it to the tournament, if you’re game.” Lennox winks at me as he wraps his hands around my waist and hoists me down off of the hood of the car.
But it’s not so much the tournament I’m looking forward to now as what might come afterward.
11
Lennox