by Maya Banks
What if she lost it as well?
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her husbands. They’d promised her that if and when she was ready to ever have another child, they’d be with her every step of the way and she’d never have to shoulder the burden alone.
But what if it happened anyway?
Sudden infant death syndrome.
Just thinking the words paralyzed her.
How would she be able to sleep for fear of having her baby snatched away in the space of a stolen moment of rest?
“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered again.
She closed her eyes and bowed her head, whispering the first tentative words of a prayer she’d gone long without saying.
Warmth slid over her as the sun peeked from the thick cover of puffy gray clouds. She opened her eyes and lifted her head as a single ray slipped over her, warming her skin, a barrier to the cold.
The wind picked up and the trees rustled and swayed. The scent of pine was strong and the breeze dried the wetness on her cheeks.
It will be all right.
She imagined the nearly silent whisper that sounded as if it was carried through the trees from the valley. But it comforted her, still.
She hunched forward and carefully put a hand over her still-flat abdomen.
A life.
A tiny, defenseless life lay nestled there underneath her fingers. Already precious. And loved. Loved so very much.
She hugged herself and rocked back and forth, willing the fear to dissipate. She was strong. So much stronger than before.
But no matter how strong she was now, she wouldn’t survive another loss.
The peal of her cell phone disturbed the peaceful solitude. She jumped and then reached into her pocket for the phone. It was her mother-in-law’s ringtone and Lily’s pulse ratcheted up.
Someone had probably seen her at the doctor’s, and Holly was likely calling to see if everything was okay. Lily wasn’t ready to divulge such unsettling news. She needed time to come to terms with her pregnancy before she blurted it out to her family.
Family.
She closed her eyes, wrapping herself in the comfort and knowledge that she had the best family in the entire world. They loved her and she loved them dearly.
With shaking fingers, she hit the button to receive the call and put the phone to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Lily, dear, it’s Holly. How are you?”
“F-fine. I’m fine. How are you?”
“I’m on my way over, actually. I hope you’re home! I didn’t even think to call before I left. You know how I am. Once I get an idea in my head, I act. And to be honest, I was more focused on being able to get past the husbands without the third degree. You know how they are about me driving myself into town.”
Lily smiled, picturing Holly rolling her eyes as she always did when she talked about the three older Colter men.
“Yes, I’m home.”
“Oh good,” Holly breathed. “I have a huge favor to ask.”
Lily let a sigh of relief. Her mother-in-law wasn’t calling because she knew Lily had been to the doctor.
She stood rapidly, still holding the phone as she headed toward the back door. It wouldn’t do for Holly to see the mess Lily was in. She’d latch on and there’d be no avoiding the issue.
She wiped frantically at her face even as she murmured a good-bye to Holly. She tossed the phone onto the counter and then headed into the bathroom.
She had about fifteen minutes to make it look like her world hadn’t just been tilted on its axis.
CHAPTER
4
LILY smiled broadly at herself in the mirror. She grimaced and then let her lips fall. The smile looked exactly the way it felt—fake and forced. When the doorbell rang, she sighed and turned away.
Makeup did wonders, though Lily didn’t normally wear much—and she didn’t have much on now. Just enough to disguise the signs of grief that had ravaged her face earlier.
She hurried to the door, putting on a genuine, warm smile before opening it.
Holly bustled in from the cold, immediately pulling Lily into a huge hug. Holly wasn’t a large woman by any stretch, but she hugged like a bear. Lily felt it to her soul and closed her eyes as her mother-in-law soothed and patted and made Lily feel like she was bathed in sunshine.
“Are none of those boys of mine home today?” Holly asked when she finally released Lily.
Lily shut the door, took Holly’s coat, and shook her head. “Dillon went in early because Callie was working the bar last night. He never likes it when she does and neither does Max. Max called, wanting him to at least make sure she didn’t sleep on the couch in the office, so I’m sure he went in and made her go home.”
“Ah,” Holly said. “Well, Max is home so he’ll take care of that, I suppose.”
“I’m so glad they’ll be here this Christmas.”
Holly’s entire face lit up. “Oh yes, me too. My whole family here for Christmas. I’m so excited, I can’t stand it.”
As they entered the living room, Lily paused and turned to see Holly staring intently at her.
“Are you all right, Lily? You look a little pale.”
Lily swallowed and forced a brighter smile. “I’m fine.”
Holly frowned but didn’t pursue the matter, and now Lily worried that she’d mention her concerns to her sons. Impulsively, she reached for Holly’s hand and squeezed, feeling better for the contact.
“Holly, I’m fine. Now tell me what favor you need. You know I’d do anything for you.”
Her mother-in-law turned, took both of Lily’s hands in hers, her eyes dancing with excitement. “I want you to teach me how to cook.”
Lily’s mouth dropped open. Of all the things that Holly could have said, this was the farthest thing from Lily’s mind. She stared at Holly for several long seconds before she finally found her tongue.
“What on earth for?”
Holly sighed, let go of Lily’s hands, and then settled on the couch. Lily took a seat next to her, tucking one leg underneath her and rotating so they faced each other.
“It’s been a running family joke for years that I can’t cook and that my husbands have always provided the meals for our family—which is totally true, mind you. It’s never bothered me, but this year … This Christmas I’d like to put the food on the table for my family and know that I made it. I want this year to be special. So much has changed in our family in a short amount of time, and for the first time in a long time we’re all going to be together. Last year, Max and Callie spent Christmas overseas. But this year all my babies will be at home where they belong.”
Lily leaned over to put her arm around Holly. She squeezed and then smiled. “Of course I’ll help. When I’m done, you’ll be able to prepare the best holiday meal the Colters have ever tasted.”
Holly beamed and then threw her arms around Lily, hugging her tight. “I knew I could count on you. Now, where do we start?”
Holly’s bright enthusiasm was a balm to Lily’s soul. Some of her fear and melancholy lifted away as she focused on a way to make her mother-in-law happy.
“Well, it depends on what you’d like to serve. Are we going traditional with a bird, dressing, and the fixings? Or do you want to go for wow factor?”
Holly pulled away, a pensive frown on her face. “I kind of like wow, but maybe that’s too much to expect in such a short amount of time.”
“Oh, I don’t know. What if we did something creole?”
“Oh yum. There’s a Cajun restaurant in Denver that I love. The husbands take me there when we’re in the city.”
“Hmm, okay. How does a pan-seared catfish fillet covered with crawfish étouffée sound?”
“Like my mouth is watering!”
Lily grinned. Holly’s excitement was infectious. “For starters, we could do a lobster bisque and crawfish-stuffed shrimp. I have an awesome recipe for homemade rolls that won’t take any time in the bread machi
ne. Then we’ll have the fish and étouffée as the main course. For dessert, I’m thinking caramel Heath bar pie.”
“Has anyone ever told you what a culinary genius you are? Dillon has always been the master chef in the family but you, my dear, he can’t hold a candle to.”
“Oh, I love it when you stroke my ego. I’ll love getting to take credit for getting Mama Colter to create a perfect meal. Dillon will be bitter forever. He keeps swearing he’s going to get you into the kitchen.”
Holly snorted. “Dillon and I would never make it together. I’d murder my own child before it was over with.”
Lily rose. “Well then, let’s go shopping. We have groceries to buy and a kitchen to mess up. We’re on a tight timeline here. We only have until the guys get home from work, and if they catch us in the kitchen or see the kitchen in a mess, they’ll want to know what on earth we’re up to.”
Holly shot to her feet, an excited smile lighting up her face. “Thank you, Lily. I can’t wait!”
“You’ll have to find a way to get over here every day until we get this right,” Lily cautioned. “You’ll have to think of something to say to the dads so they don’t get suspicious.”
“Oh, I’ll handle them,” Holly said airily, mischief sparkling in her eyes. “Tomorrow is Saturday so I’ll come over in the morning and make the boys go over to their fathers’.”
CALLIE stirred, tried to swallow, and grimaced. She opened her eyes to see Max staring intently down at her, his lips set in a fine line.
“Your throat hurting worse?”
She nodded. “Need something to drink.”
He leaned forward, holding her tightly so she didn’t slide from his lap, and retrieved the glass of water sitting on the coffee table.
She drank greedily, trying not to flinch at the discomfort it caused her throat. Her fever had broken and she was damp with sweat. Where before she’d been freezing and sure she’d never get warm again, now she was hot, aching, and twitchy all over.
When she was done drinking, she lay limply on Max’s chest, her eyes closed in exhaustion. It was ridiculous really. There was no reason for her to feel so weak, but she couldn’t do battle with a kitten at the moment.
The doorbell rang and she groaned, but Max simply lifted her to the side and settled her among the pillows. As if he was expecting someone. She glanced up, her suspicions confirmed when Max opened the door and Dr. Burton came in, shaking snow from his hat before Max took it and his coat from him.
She huffed in exasperation as Max and the doctor returned to the couch. “Max, really. This was so unnecessary. I can’t believe you made Dr. Burton come all this way. What about his patients?”
“You are my patient, missy,” Dr. Burton said in reprimand. “You should have come to see me first thing this morning instead of crawling home to suffer alone.”
Callie allowed him to poke and prod at her. He looked at her throat, made several noncommittal noises, and then took out his cell phone.
“Looks like strep to me. Of course, I can’t do a test here, but that throat looks bad and, regardless, you need an antibiotic, so we’re going on the assumption you have strep. Start the antibiotics immediately and by tomorrow afternoon you should start feeling better.”
While Dr. Burton phoned in the prescriptions, Max left the room for a moment. Callie snuggled back into the pillows, already feeling the chill returning. A few minutes later, Max came back and spoke to Dr. Burton briefly before showing the other man out.
The next thing Callie knew, Max was back, holding more ibuprofen in his hand.
“Take these, dolcezza. Your fever is returning.”
She swallowed them down and then sighed in contentment when he sat beside her and pulled her back into his arms.
Then she frowned. “How am I supposed to get the antibiotics?” Obviously Max would have to go into town to get the prescription filled, but the selfish part of her whined at the idea of him leaving.
“I called your mother. Well, actually I called your dads first and they said your mom was in town with Lily, so I then called your mom and asked her to pick up your medicine on her way back. She’ll be by in a little while to see you.”
“Mom’s awesome,” Callie croaked out.
Max smiled tenderly down at her. “Moms are the very best when you’re sick.”
She wasn’t so absorbed in her own misery that she’d forgotten Lauren. She’d thought of her all afternoon. Lauren was sweet and shy, so different from Max’s dominating personality. It sickened Callie that Lauren had been abused by some asshole she’d trusted.
“Max?”
He swept his hand over her hair, smoothing it from her forehead so he could see her eyes.
“I know you wanted to give Lauren time, but I really think we should go get her.”
“You’re sick, Callie. I don’t think you should be going anywhere.”
“You heard the doctor. If I start on antibiotics today, by tomorrow afternoon I’ll be feeling better. We could leave for Denver in the morning, take an afternoon flight, and be in New York by tomorrow night. We could be back home with Lauren by the day after tomorrow, and you and I would both feel better.”
Max sighed and she knew he was close to caving. His thoughts had been consumed with his sister. Callie knew it, and that he was deeply worried. He was torn between the thought that Callie needed him here and that his sister was wounded, frightened, and alone.
Callie sat up and touched Max’s cheek. “I’ll be fine, Max. Lauren is more important than some stupid bug I’ve caught. I know I won’t feel better until she’s here with us where we both know she’s safe, and if I’m that adamant, I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling. I know you wanted to be gentle and considerate with her, but now isn’t the time for that. I vote we go in and don’t come back without her.”
Max smiled then and pressed his lips to her forehead. “That’s what I love most about you, dolcezza. You’re frighteningly fierce when you set your mind to something. You’d make most men tremble in their boots.”
“So we’ll do it?”
“Yes. Provided you start your antibiotics immediately and you don’t worsen overnight. I’ll arrange for my jet to arrive in Denver in the morning, refuel, and be on standby when we get to the airport in the afternoon.”
“You’re doing the right thing, Max. She needs to be surrounded by people who love her right now even if she thinks she wants to be alone.”
He stroked his hand through her hair, idly fingering the strands. “I just want my sister back. The woman I saw a few days ago isn’t the sister I remember. She’s changed so much just since I saw her last.”
His fingers tightened in her hair and his expression grew darker. “I hate that bastard for what he did. Not just for the physical damage he did, but because he crushed her spirit. She’s a shadow of her former self, and I guess my fear is that she won’t get that spirit back.”
“She will. She just needs time. My dads and brothers will baby her, as will you. She’ll see that all men aren’t bastards. In time she’ll trust herself again.”
“You’re right, of course. Now, for a time, let’s focus on you. Are you hungry? Would you like some hot tea for your throat? Tell me what it is you want and I’ll make it happen.”
“Oh, Max, you should know better than to give me that much leeway,” she teased.
“On the contrary,” he murmured. “I mean every word. You’re my life. Your happiness and well-being are everything to me. I don’t like to see you not feeling well. Now, are you hungry?”
They were interrupted by the peal of Max’s cell phone. Unlike her, he didn’t have a ringtone for everyone. It drove her crazy because she liked to know who was calling even before she looked at the display screen.
He put the phone to his ear. “Hello, Mrs. C.”
Callie smiled at the mention of her mother.
“No, actually we were just discussing whether she was hungry. Hang on. I’ll ask.”
He put th
e phone to his shoulder and turned to Callie. “Your mom wants to know if you’d like some of Lily’s chicken noodle soup.”
Callie’s mouth instantly watered. “Oh my God, yes. Please.”
Max chuckled and picked the phone back up. “That’s a yes. All right. Be careful and we’ll see you soon.”
He put the phone back down. “She’s on her way. She’s swinging by to pick up your medicine and then she’ll be up.”
Thirty minutes later, Holly breezed through the door without knocking and shooed Max back when he started to rise. She set the container of soup on the coffee table, then bent over to give Max a hug and a kiss.
She perched on the edge of the couch and enfolded Callie in her arms. “Sorry you’re sick, baby. I brought your medicine and some of Lily’s soup. You should be feeling better in no time with Max here to take care of you.”
Callie smiled and snuggled into her mother’s embrace. No matter how old she got, she’d never be too old for her mother to baby. There just wasn’t anything better than a mother’s hug and unconditional love. She sighed and squeezed before finally relinquishing her grip on her mom.
Then she glanced back at Max, her gaze questioning. Slowly he nodded, understanding what she was asking.
“Mom, Max and I are going to New York tomorrow to bring Lauren home.”
Holly’s brows came together. “But you’re sick. Maybe Max should go. You could stay with me and your dads, or if you prefer, I’ll come stay here with you.”
Callie shook her head and then put her hand over her mother’s. “Mom, she’s been abused. The guy she was with … He hurt her terribly. She didn’t want to come back with Max, but I think if I go back with him, together we can convince her to return here. She needs to be surrounded by people who love her.”
Holly’s eyes were stricken, and then anger lit fire in their depths. Her fingers curled around Callie’s hand and tightened. “Bring her home. We’ll take care of her and we’ll kick the ass of anyone who ever tries to hurt her again.”
Max smiled and leaned forward to kiss his mother-in-law on the cheek. “I can see now where Callie gets her ferocity. You, Mama Colter, are the best, and Lauren and I are lucky to have been swept into your fold.”