by Maya Banks
“We’re as young as we want to be,” she said.
Adam lifted a brow at that. “Are you feeling your years, baby? Because I have to say that you damn sure don’t look like a woman in her fifties.”
She blushed to her toes at the hungry look in his eyes. “I was just reminding myself that age is just a number. It’s all in how you feel, and you know what I feel?”
“What?”
The question came from all three men.
She smiled and kept smiling, the grin growing bigger until her cheeks hurt. “I feel loved, and as long as I feel as loved as I do, I’ll stay young forever. This whole episode made me realize that there’s still a lot I want to do, and I don’t want to miss out on anything. Maybe after we take a trip we can get together with Max and Callie. Plan a family trip for us all. Us, Max and Callie. Even Lauren. Seth, Michael, Dillon, and Lily. Think how much fun it would be to take a big family vacation. We haven’t done that since the children were young.”
Ryan’s eyes went soft. “We’ll take you wherever you want to go, sweetheart. I can’t imagine a better time than one spent with my family. But first we’ll take our trip. Just us, a beach, and a sunset somewhere.”
“Gets my vote,” Ethan said.
Adam’s eyes gleamed with mischief as he stared at Holly. “Just think how easy it’ll be to pack. You won’t even have to bring a suitcase.”
Her brows puckered up as she glanced questioningly up at him.
He leaned over and kissed away the lines on her forehead. “You don’t have to pack if you’re going to stay naked for the entire time, and that damn sure gets my vote.”
CHAPTER
16
LILY sat on the edge of her bed, her bottom lip firmly between her teeth as she stared sightlessly toward the closet. Anxiety ate a hole in her stomach. It was Christmas Eve. They were due at her in laws’ soon—they should have already left.
They’d decided to tell the entire family tonight. At dinner. A surprise. A wonderful Christmas present.
She closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure she was prepared. She almost wished she would have gone a quieter route. Told Holly and Callie first. Then maybe the dads. Then she wouldn’t have to face everyone at once.
But neither did she want to deprive her husbands of their special moment. They were over the moon. Cautious. Worried about her. But over the moon ecstatic at the thought of having a child. She knew they wanted several. As many as she was comfortable having.
And maybe she did too. She loved the Colter family. Loved everything about them. She wanted it for her family. Her husbands. Her children.
If only she could move past this paralyzing fear that gripped her every time she dwelled more than a moment on the growing life inside her.
“Lily?”
She glanced up to see Dillon standing at the door. His stance told her he’d been standing there awhile. Watching her. Probably worrying.
He walked in without saying anything further and slid onto the bed next to her so that their thighs were touching.
“Everything okay?”
She nodded, hesitated a moment, and then sighed. “I’m just nervous. Maybe a little scared. I know everyone will be happy, but they’ll be worried too. I’m afraid they won’t want to be too excited because they won’t know how well I’m taking it. I don’t want to suck the joy out of this moment for them like I did with you.”
Dillon frowned and turned more fully toward her so he could capture her with his glare. “You did not ruin the moment for me. You’ve got to cut yourself some slack, Lily. You took a hit. You weren’t expecting to become pregnant. It wasn’t something we planned. Under the circumstances, I think you handled it quite well.”
She smiled wanly. “Thanks for saying that.”
He caught her hand and squeezed. “Mom and the dads are going to be overjoyed. Of course they’re going to worry about you. They love you. They know what you’ve been through. But they’ll know when you tell them. They’ll be able to see it in your eyes. Nothing will ruin that moment for them. Learning at Christmas that they’re going to have their first grandchild will be a memory they’ll hold forever. And you’re the one who’ll give that to them.”
She sucked in a breath. “I know it’s stupid for me to be afraid and nervous. I mean, I love them so much and I know they love me. They’ve shown me nothing but support and caring. I couldn’t have ever asked for a better family. I guess I just don’t want to let anyone down. Especially myself and our baby.”
Dillon touched her cheek and then leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. “Never that, Lily. You won’t disappoint them or us. We couldn’t be prouder of you.”
She dove into his arms, wrapping herself around him to hug him tight. He curled his arms around her and held her just as tightly.
He smoothed her hair and then murmured close to her ear, “What do you say we go have the best Christmas Eve this family’s ever seen?”
CHAPTER
17
CHRISTMAS Eve was always a big event in the Colter household. Not that Christmas Day was completely overlooked, but Christmas Eve was full of excitement. It was when the family gathered, drank hot chocolate in front of the fire, and laughed and loved as they celebrated another year.
Christmas Day they would sleep in, eat breakfast in their pajamas, open presents, and then everyone would watch the Christmas parades and football until they ate a midafternoon Christmas dinner.
This Christmas Eve, just as the sun went down, bathing the fresh covering of snow in the first pale shadows of dusk, the Colters and Wilders gathered at the Colter cabin.
Presents were piled around the tree and spilled onto the hearth. The living room was aglow with twinkling lights and the sounds of laughter and happiness.
Holly sat at the end of the couch, propped with pillows and fussed over endlessly by her husbands and children alike. Adam and Ryan disappeared frequently into the kitchen along with Dillon as they cooked the Christmas Eve feast.
And what a feast it was.
The table had been extended over the years, leaves added as the family grew in number. As they gathered at the table, Lily smiled a soft, secret smile, imagining her own addition to the Colter family who would arrive a few months down the road.
This was her child’s future. This family. This wonderful, loving group of people who had hearts as big as the Rocky Mountains.
She was going to be okay. Her child was going to be okay.
She could be happy. Fear uncoiled its tight grip around her heart and slid away, replaced by peace and overwhelming joy. And gratitude. For this second chance—at love, at a life, to have another child to love and cherish.
She glanced at her husbands as they sat down, her heart swelling with love and excitement. This was her moment. Her time to shine. After so long in the shadows, afraid to step into the sun, she was ready to burst out, throw her arms wide, and turn her face up to the wonder of heaven and glory in God’s mercy and grace.
Dillon reached underneath the table to squeeze her hand. Then Seth reached for her other hand, his fingers laced tightly with hers. Across the table, Michael met her gaze and smiled, his eyes suspiciously bright. It was time.
Lily took in a deep breath to steady her nerves. It wasn’t that she had doubts—she didn’t. But she knew their news would concern her parents-in-law. They all knew of her past tragedy. They constantly surrounded her with love and unconditional support. She didn’t want them to worry that she’d fall apart. This family made her strong. With them behind her, she could do anything.
She very carefully disentangled her hands from her husbands’ and then rose, tall and strong, and stared down the table at the rest of the family, who were seated.
Conversation died and the room went silent. All eyes were on Lily as if they realized that something big was about to happen. Holly’s eyes flashed with concern and Lily saw her reach for Ethan’s hand automatically.
Lily smiled, unsure whether she’d even be able t
o get this out without becoming a blubbering mess. Her eyes already stung and she fought to know just how to begin.
Then beside her, Seth stood, reaching for her hand. He gave her a reassuring smile, full of love and strength—his strength that he was lending her.
Dillon rose on her other side and took her hand as Seth had. Then Michael also stood.
Lily didn’t even try to control the tears that slid silently down her cheeks. Her smile was so wide that no one could possibly confuse her tears for sadness or grief.
Confident in her husbands’ love and support, she faced the rest of the table once more.
“We have something special to share with you,” she said softly. It was hard to talk when her smile was so big and tears streamed endlessly down her cheeks.
Then she looked pointedly at the end of the table where the older generation of Colters sat.
“You’re going to have a grandchild. I’m pregnant.”
A series of gasps flew around the table. Concern immediately flashed in the eyes of the Colters, but so did utter happiness and excitement.
Tears filled Holly’s eyes. Callie wiped at her own eyes as she glanced back at Lily. Lauren smiled but her smile was wistful, almost poignant, as if it reflected her own wishes and dreams.
And the dads’ reactions ranged from shock to satisfaction.
The silence abruptly ended as everyone reacted at the same moment. Whoops went up. Cheers erupted. A barrage of congratulations flew. Despite her husbands’ attempts to keep her seated, Holly jumped from her chair and dashed around to where Lily stood.
She enfolded her daughter-in-law in her arms and whispered in her ear, “Oh my baby, I’m so very happy for you. You know it’ll be all right this time.”
Lily clung to her mother-in-law, closing her eyes as emotion knotted her throat. There were so many differing feelings to sort through. But best was this hug. This hug told her that she was loved and supported unconditionally. That her child would have the best the world could offer him or her. That her child would grow up in a family as strong and enduring as time itself.
“I do know,” she whispered back. “I’m okay. I’m more than okay.”
Holly pulled away and suddenly the dads were there, pulling her into big, bone-crushing hugs. Seth, Michael, and Dillon all got slaps on the back, hugs, handshakes.
Callie and Lauren crowded in and hugged Lily next, and Lily absorbed the moment, so very different from her first pregnancy, when she’d been so alone and isolated. This time would be different. This time she was loved.
Max came forward to hug her. He kissed her wet cheek and then shook the hands of Seth, Michael, and Dillon. Everyone was talking at once. Exclaiming. Such happy sounds. Laughter. Joy. It was a balm to a soul that had long suffered the agony of silence.
Adam cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention, and to Lily’s surprise, tears gleamed in his eyes. He looked shaky. Happy. A little unbalanced. He kept staring at his sons with such love in his eyes that Lily felt the answering sting of tears once more.
Seth wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close as Adam motioned for quiet.
“That’s the best damn news I’ve had, apart from your mother being okay after she gave us such a fright.” His expression grew more serious and he stared at Lily, singling her out. “Lily, honey, I just want you to know that we’re all going to be here for you. You never doubt that for a moment. You and our grandchild will be loved and cherished and covered up with support, so much so you’ll probably want to tell us all to buzz off.”
Laughter filled the room and Lily smiled through the ache of tears.
He reached for his glass, wiped absently at his eyes, and then faced his family again. He held up his glass and enveloped Lily and his sons in the warmth of his gaze. “To the first Colter grandchild. May he or she grow up surrounded by love. May he or she grow up to become as wonderful as my own children are. And may he or she have the resiliency and indomitable spirit of his mother.”
“Hear, hear.”
The soft murmurs of agreement broke Lily. She could no longer hold back the sobs that welled in her throat.
“What would I do without all of you?” she asked tearfully. “No one has ever been as protected and loved as I have. My baby will be the luckiest child in the world.”
“And the most spoiled,” Callie said dryly.
Laughter met her declaration. Holly let out a humph. “If I can’t spoil my grandchildren, who can I spoil?”
“Sit, everyone,” Adam said, motioning everyone down. “Let’s eat before the food gets cold.”
Dishes were passed around. Chatter buzzed in Lily’s ears. Questions flew. There was already the question of names. So much that she hadn’t allowed herself to contemplate yet.
It felt good to have it out in the open. Real. Excitement squeezed her insides, and she slid a hand over her belly.
She was having a baby, and this time, she was surrounded by so much love and support that she’d never have to worry about being alone, struggling, desperate. Never again.
“Thank you, God,” she whispered, her eyes burning again. “Thank you for saving me. Thank you for sending me this family and for your love and mercy. I won’t forget. I’ll never forget.”
After an hour of eating, lively discussion, and much laughter, the plates were finally pushed away.
Max cleared his throat and then stood, much as Lily had done at the start of the meal. “I have a surprise for Callie. Well, for everyone,” he amended. “It seems even more appropriate in light of all the good news we’ve recently received. We have much to be grateful for this year. I have the most won-derful, giving wife, and my sister is home where she belongs. Holly is well and back home where she belongs, and now we’ll welcome a new addition to the Colter family.”
Sounds of agreement echoed on all sides.
“What surprise?” Callie squeaked out.
Max smiled indulgently. “Patience, dolcezza. You’ll all need to get your coats on and come with me.”
Callie grabbed Lauren’s hand and dragged her toward the door. Her brothers laughed and shook their heads.
“Come on!” Callie said impatiently. “I’m dying to know what the surprise is!”
Everyone smiled and laughed as they trekked to the closet. Coats were pulled on. Holly was surrounded by her husbands, each of them determined that she wouldn’t have to walk solo through the snow. Lily’s husbands were every bit as attentive as they stepped outside.
Cold blew over Callie’s face and she closed her eyes, inhaling the clean mountain air. Snowflakes danced across her nose and she laughed out loud, mesmerized by the magic of the night.
Max directed them down the pathway that led to her and Max’s house. But they stopped in the meadow, halfway between the two houses. He leaned down to kiss Callie, his mouth melting sweetly over the coldness of her lips. Then he drew away and pulled a glow stick from his pocket. After breaking it so that it lit up, he waved it in the air before returning it to his pocket.
There was a silent pause as everyone waited breathlessly. There was anticipation in the air and the only illumination cast on the meadow was the thin slash of moonlight that hovered over distant trees.
Suddenly lights twinkled and lit up, cascading from tree to tree, from bush to bush. Shapes came to life in the meadow. A Christmas tree. Several Christmas trees. Angels. Reindeer. A manger scene.
Callie caught her breath, dazzled by the display of lights, as if a million fireflies had suddenly descended.
“Oh Max,” she breathed in a soft voice. “It’s magic.”
Lauren stood next to Callie, her eyes wide. Everyone seemed transfixed, even Callie’s fathers and brothers, who surely were in on the surprise. Her mom stared in wonder, mouth open as she stared from tree to tree.
The meadow had been transformed into a winter wonderland worthy of any childhood fantasy.
In the distance, the sound of sleigh bells chinked softly, growing louder, the rhythm in
sync with the trot of horses. Callie whirled around, straining to see. And then a six-horse-drawn sleigh burst into the clearing. The horses were adorned with bells. The sleigh was shiny red, and it reflected the light of thousands of bulbs.
Callie gaped as the sleigh drew even closer. She turned to Max, her mouth working up and down, but nothing would come out. Max chuckled.
Callie flew into his arms, hitting him with such force that they both fell back into the snow. Max’s back hit the ground, and he wrapped his arms around her to cushion her fall. He laughed helplessly as she peppered his face with excited, breathless kisses.
Around them, the rest of the family laughed, the sound joyous in the air. Lily clapped her hands in delight and Lauren’s smile was so brilliant that it made everyone stop and take notice. How long had it been since she’d really smiled? With everything inside her. With her whole heart.
Gone for a moment were the shadows of her past and in its stead was a beautiful, sparkling young woman.
“Let me up, dolcezza. We have a sleigh ride to take.”
“All of us?” Callie asked as she got up and literally danced around Max in the snow.
Max stood and brushed the snow from his clothing. “All of us. The sleigh is big enough, and what is Christmas Eve without a sleigh ride?”
“Come on, Lauren!” Callie shouted, taking her sister-in-law’s hand and pulling her toward the sleigh.
The rest followed behind and Adam fell into step with Max. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen my little girl so excited.”
Max smiled. “I plan to spend the rest of my life making her smile just like she did tonight.”
Adam slapped him on the back and then returned to his wife. They ushered her into the sled while Max slid in beside Callie and Lauren. When everyone was tucked underneath the blankets, the man Max had hired to drive the sleigh urged the horses forward.
They glided over the snow, through the meadow, and higher into the aspens and pines that surrounded the Colter cabin. Max wrapped his arm around Callie and pulled her in close. Lauren sat next to Callie, her eyes aglow with happiness.