She kept her face composed, not hinting she had hopes of discovering more about the revolt and the people involved in it. And how she might take part. The chagrin she spoke with was real enough. “Perhaps if I had been stronger things would have been different. I regret allowing myself to be undone by the events surrounding Jessica McInness’s clanning to the Imperials.”
Maf gave her a gentle, fatherly look. “No one faults you for the indignities you suffered. It was the beginning of the Imperial Clan’s infamies. I have not known such a terrible time for the Empire. Our leaders are liars. Our legacy is being stolen. We are being cheated, all of us, but you have lost more than most, my dear.”
He was definitely at odds with the current state of the Empire then. But had he gone all the way to the Basma’s side? And if so, how involved was he?
Doing her best to look lost and forlorn, Narpok said, “Starting over will be hard for me.”
“It need not be. I have a son.”
The still-childish part of Narpok recoiled at the idea of any woman wanting a man as malformed as Maf. She reminded herself again that she too was probably considered damaged. The only difference was that her shortcomings were those of mental abilities. Given a choice between the two, Narpok would have wished herself the twisted body rather than the unreliable mind that broke under shock. Maybe the mother of Maf’s child was like her and recognized inner health was far superior to outer beauty.
Because she was so far behind in current events she was forced to ask, “Oh, so you clanned?”
He shook his head, a brief flash of sorrow crossing his face. “My appearance puts off many. It takes a special Matara to see beyond the outside.”
Narpok nodded. It was a shame he had not found himself a Nobek and Imdiko that would allow him to clan the Matara who’d loved him enough to give him a child. She would be a special woman indeed, not shallow like Narpok and so many others.
Maf’s face brightened. “I cannot be with the woman I love, but I do have a son. A Dramok, no less. With a Nobek and an Imdiko.”
“I congratulate you. Children are precious.” The thought brought pain to Narpok. One of her many shortcomings before discovering she couldn’t have children had been the selfish wish to never give birth. She’d wanted all the attention for herself, to not share it with anyone. Particularly babes who would assuredly steal her limelight.
Stupid, stupid girl, she chastised herself. She had so much to make up for. What little she’d discovered about the growing revolution against the Imperial Clan and Royal Council seemed like a golden opportunity to make her pathetic life count for something. She just needed an in.
Maf was speaking again, and Narpok forced herself to attend. “In most cases, my son’s clan would make a lucky Matara wonderful mates. I think you would make them the lucky ones, however. Would you like to meet them?”
By the ancestors, this is what he wanted? To play matchmaker for his son? Narpok’s disappointment was complete. She decided to put Maf off as quickly as possible and get the hell out of here.
Her tone chilly with all her former haughtiness, she told him, “I am infertile. I cannot give them children.”
He waved her off with an indulgent smile. “That does not matter. Most of our women are just as you. It does not make them any less wonderful. All that matters is that you are Kalquorian through and through. No Earther blood belongs among us.”
“Even though we are going extinct?”
He spoke with the fervor of a fanatic. “It is better this way. I believe that with all of my heart.”
Did she dare to come right out and ask for the truth? She had to. “So you support this Basma I’ve been hearing about, I take it.” She was careful to keep her tone casual, as if it was not such a big deal.
He didn’t hesitate for an instant. “I do, and let me tell you why. He will avenge women like you who have been shoved aside. He will keep intact our glory. He will make our memory immortal.”
Maf really did sound like a revolutionary. His voice shook with fervor. Maybe this hadn’t turned out to be a waste of her time after all.
A smile spread over her face, and she regarded him with delight. “He guards our place in history. He will cast aside the Earther infestation that would steal Kalquor’s proud name.”
Maf’s eyes widened with excitement. “Exactly! The Basma will save us by letting our legacy live on after we die.”
“You have met him? Is he truly devoted to leading Kalquor to the right path?”
Maf leaned forward. In an intimate whisper he said, “I know him very well. Nothing means more to him than eradicating the Earther infestation from our proud Empire.”
Narpok’s heart drum. Maf knew the Basma! “And your son feels this way too? His clan is with the Basma?”
Maf’s zeal dimmed at the question. He looked downright uncomfortable, and not because his poor body pained him. “My son allies himself with no one, at least not until recently. His loyalty to the true Empire may be threatened, the Empire of the Basma. But he is a good man, devoted to his clan. He is only young and confused right now. He needs coaxing.” He nodded at her. “He needs someone close to him to help him find his way.”
Narpok wondered how a man’s own father could not be influence enough to sway him. Maf and his son must have had some sort of falling out, and he saw her as the instrument to endear him to his child again.
She wasn’t fond of being used in such a way, but her fervor to join the rebels was reason enough to play along. She asked, “But won’t your son mind that I cannot give him children? And the other matter, that of my breakdown. He won’t be bothered my mind is weak?”
Maf looked at her with warmth that told Narpok he saw her as a kind of savior. She was indeed a path for reconciliation with his son. In a heartfelt voice he said, “My beautiful child, your troubles will make you more precious to him. And when he sees the wonder that is a true Kalquorian woman, all his doubts will fade. I know he will adore you. Will you meet with him, Matara Narpok?”
Maf was in league with the Basma. He knew the man who would bring the Imperial Clan to its knees once and for all. If she played her cards right, she could get in too. Not just be a part of the rebellion, but join its inner circle.
The opportunity to pay them all back...
She gave Maf a sad, sweet smile. “I would love nothing more than to meet your son and his clan – but I am not what I was. I have no pretty gowns to disguise my recent illness. I have nothing to attract a man worthy of the rank of Dramok Maf’s son.”
He seemed a little surprised though still eager to strike the bargain. “I could help, but surely the estate of Clan Pwaldur goes to their only child?”
“Of course, but I am in hiding. If I’m seen, won’t I be taken back to the hospital? Sitrel took me out without Dr. Govi signing the certificate of self-sufficiency.” She glanced at her cousin, who she’d almost forgotten was there. Sitrel had stood in one corner, silent and watchful.
“Well, we knew it might be some time before the psychologists were comfortable with your remarkable recovery,” Maf said in a musing tone. “I suppose we should buy you a gown or two.” He looked at the dress she wore, some secondhand frock found in a hurry. It didn’t fit quite right, hanging loose at the bosom and waist.
She smiled, knowing she still looked wan and unhealthy. As she bartered to make Maf pay for what she wanted so badly, she did her best to look both pathetic and appealing. “Yes, I should have the right clothes, gowns that fit correctly to make the best possible impression on a potential clan. That won’t be easy as I’ve lost weight. I’m a bit scrawny for a Kalquorian woman, wouldn’t you say? If not for my height, I could probably wear Earther clothes. I’ll have to be properly measured.”
Maf blinked at her, overwhelmed by the rush of words. “Are you saying you want to shop for clothes yourself?”
Narpok burst out laughing. “Well, you can’t expect Sitrel to find anything good, can you? He picked this awful thing out. I’m
embarrassed to be seen in it!”
“But if you’re seen by the wrong people—”
She waved off his concern. “The one good thing about what’s happened to me is it wouldn’t be hard to disguise me from most people. I hardly look like the woman I was before I became ill. Besides, Dr. Govi isn’t likely to come across me in a dress shop. The Imperial Family has dressmakers come to them rather than shopping in the marketplace.” She snorted in derision. “Empress Jessica, her mother, and her friend Michaela liked to come and gloat over my downfall from time to time. They were my only visitors, you know.”
“Shocking,” Maf said, still looking nonplussed.
“Quite. Even Sitrel had trouble figuring out it was me when he came to the hospital. He actually asked, ‘Is that you, Narpok?’ He couldn’t be sure.” She snickered at her frowning cousin.
Maf looked at Sitrel. “Is that true? You didn’t know her right away?”
It took the aide a full second to admit it. “She has changed substantially. I was confused at first.”
Narpok hurried to press her case. “A little disguising will do the trick. No one will know me in the wide, wide world. As for funds, using my accounts would alert authorities as to my whereabouts. I can’t possibly spend my own money on what I need.”
Maf stared at her for several seconds. Narpok could see him turning over all the ramifications in his head, all the potential trouble. But she also knew she was right. Between the weight loss and aging – both a result of the passing years and the strain of the memories that haunted her – she bore only a passing resemblance to her former self.
That would change. She was owed a lot, and the recovery of her health and beauty were the tip of the iceberg as far as she was concerned.
With an expression that said he thought he was making a mistake, Maf said slowly, “I shall give you the funds you need. Sitrel will find a disguise for you so you can go to the shops and buy the prettiest gowns your heart desires.”
Narpok’s heart leaped. As a rare Kalquorian female, she’d never been refused anything. Even infertile, it seemed she could still enjoy some entitlements. Now that she knew that, she would take every advantage of it.
She giggled like the foolish girl she’d once been. “Won’t that be funny, to go shopping right under everyone’s nose?”
“Just make sure you’re careful,” Maf warned Sitrel. “If anyone seems to be suspicious, I want her out of sight quickly.”
Sitrel glowered. It was obvious he wasn’t looking forward to his duty as Narpok’s escort. Narpok wasn’t enthralled with the prospect of him coming along either; she and Sitrel weren’t exactly fond of each other.
Yet she’d scored a few victories this afternoon. She was now in contact with a member of the rebellion. With luck, she could join its ranks herself. With clothing that wouldn’t make her look like a poor relation and the hope of regaining some of her physical attractiveness, she might be able to impress the right people.
Maybe she would get the chance to meet the Basma himself soon.
Beaming with pleasure she said, “Thank you, Dramok Maf. You don’t know how happy this makes me. I will meet your son. I will meet him and charm him into seeing good sense.”
Maf regained his good humor at her assurances. “I am glad to hear it. Sitrel, you will see to it she gets anything she wishes before you take her to meet Falinset’s clan next week.”
Falinset. The son’s name is Falinset, Narpok thought. Her smile was brighter than ever.
Maf had his fatherly look on again, looking as if he’d like to dote on her as a favored child. “Yes, a week should be fine. That will give you a little time to prepare and get the things you need.”
Narpok nodded, her mind flying over what had to be accomplished and hoping she had enough time. There was so much to do.
Chapter 18
Two days after getting drunk and frisky with Tasha, Falinset sat in his office once again. Like the day before, he found it impossible to concentrate on work for more than a few seconds at a time.
His home was still under siege by Ket’s men. He still hadn’t heard anything further from Maf about his ‘incentive’ to make him give up the princess.
And Tasha...
He gave up trying to sort out the business prospectus on the vid in front of him. With a sigh, Falinset stood and left his office. He wandered down the hall, following the bright sound of Tasha and Noelle’s voices.
He ended up at the door of the common room and peered in. Tasha sat on the lounger with Noelle next to her. The child leaned against her older cousin as they read from a vid. It was a children’s story from the library collection, part of a learning-to-read program. A voice carefully enunciated each word. Noelle and Tasha were rapt as they watched their lesson. The Earther had admitted that while her spoken Kalquorian wasn’t half bad, she was still quite sketchy with reading the language.
He looked at Tasha, at the way the sunlight from the window vids fell on her. Auburn and gold highlights haloed in her hair, bringing out the warm tones of her skin. She wore one of Nur’s shirts with her own skirt. The top was too big for her, but it couldn’t quite mask the delicious swells of her body. A body he and his clan had been enjoying every chance they got.
If not for the impending trouble from Maf and Ket hanging over their heads, life would have been the most perfect Falinset had ever known. He didn’t want to drag anyone into the mess of his clan, but he couldn’t help imagining living a normal life that Tasha might have been a part of had things been different.
She was so much of everything he enjoyed. Feisty and unafraid to face what life had thrown at her. Soft and giving when one or more of the men came to her for intimate pleasures. Intelligent and able to accept her own shortcomings while working to improve them. Even the way she was with Noelle right now, trying to give the little girl some sense of normalcy in an incredible situation, spoke to Falinset. He thought she would be wonderful with children of her own, should she decide to have them. He had caught himself fantasizing about giving her children in his little dream of normalcy. It made him wonder if she wanted to be a mother. That he could never hope to be a part of such a future with her gave him a pang he dared not look too close at.
Tasha had a darkness too, one he wished he could pull her out of. It was most obvious when anyone spoke of Maf or Ket. She’d said flat out she wanted to kill them. Looking in the cold blackness that filled her eyes when she spoke such things, Falinset believed she meant them. Her rage at what was happening to the women still imprisoned in the containment on Maf’s property, her fury at how being trapped was affecting Noelle – it was clear she would do everything in her power to make her enemies pay.
That something had happened to make her almost rabid about the matter was obvious to Falinset. He wondered if it had anything to do with the issues she’d alluded to; the problems that kept her from being clanned so far. The darkness in her eyes was the same when their conversations turned personal. He’d noted she also tended to watch the men carefully when they made love to her, at least until pleasure took her mind away from her troubles. It was as if she waited for them to do something wrong, something skittish that kept her on the verge of running away.
Well, why shouldn’t she hold back with them? Clan Falinset was a lost cause, related to the Empire’s greatest enemy. She was family to the Imperial Clan. However their current situation ended up being resolved, their relationship was a temporary matter.
Falinset didn’t bother to pretend it didn’t hurt that he couldn’t explore future possibilities with the entrancing Earther. He ached wanting someone he could never have, another soul he could share his pain and isolation with. The impossibility loomed over him, intractable. He’d been given a glimpse of paradise, never to reach it.
Nur’s scent spiced with the slightest touch of cologne wafted over him. Falinset turned his head to see his Imdiko standing at his shoulder, also looking at Tasha and Noelle. His face gentled with a smile.
He whispered, “I never imagined seeing such a scene in our home, my Dramok.”
“Nor I.” Falinset had to ruin his clanmate’s enjoyment with, “And it won’t last.” There was no point in pretending otherwise.
Nur’s smile faltered. “I know. We have to figure some way of getting them out of here. As well as the other women Maf has abducted.”
Falinset’s lips tightened in a line. “I’m at a loss until Wekniz gets back from Nalta City. If he finds out the bastard has the moon buttoned up as tight as he claimed, we have few options left to us.”
Nur’s fists clenched. “Maf can’t have them. Not while I draw breath.” He forced himself to relax and switched subjects. “Any idea when Maf’s gift is due to arrive?”
Falinset shrugged. “Sometime within the week. He won’t give me a definitive day. He’s determined to keep us guessing and maintain control over us.”
Tension returned to the Imdiko’s posture. “Damn him. I feel like I’ve got a blade to my throat, ready to cut at any moment.”
Falinset sighed. “My Imdiko, I am sorry—”
“Don’t. It’s not your fault.”
With nothing left to say, the men fell quiet again. They stood there, watching Tasha with Noelle, each thinking his own grim thoughts.
Falinset thought of Nur’s vow that Maf would not take the two as long as he was alive. The Dramok agreed. He would do all he could to protect the Earther and the princess no matter the consequences. He knew Wekniz would do the same.
Which meant after whatever Maf sent them was rejected, they might not have long to live.
* * * *
When Noelle went down for a nap in the afternoon, Nur let her sleep on the clan’s bed. It allowed him and Tasha to listen out for her as he gave the Earther a facial and conditioning treatment.
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