by Carol Roi
He wasn't naïve enough to believe he had really traveled to another plane of existence, but he knew his Freud. There was something bothering him in the real world that was expressing itself in his dreams. He was pretty sure he knew what it was. Ever since he'd met Jim, he'd been afraid Jim would find out he was a fraud, that he really wasn't the big expert on Sentinels that he'd made himself out to be, and that he'd just been making the Guide stuff up as he went along. One of these days, his bullshitting was going to get Jim killed. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths. He really didn't want to think about that ever happening, but unless he took it upon himself to get help, to take that first step towards becoming a real partner to Jim, the odds of something happening to Jim were very high.
Take last night for instance. If Dee had really wanted to hurt Jim, she could have, and there would have been nothing Blair could have done to stop it. She would have taken him apart with less effort than she had spent on Jim. Thank goodness she had only been interested in humiliating Jim. As frightening as the fight had been, Blair now knew in his heart that Dee would not have seriously injured him. She wasn't capable of that kind of maliciousness.
"But what about what Jim told you? That she was involved in those deaths?" a little voice inside his head reminded him. He couldn't see her doing that, not unless she had a good reason, and from what Jim had said, she didn't know either of the women. Random violence was not Dee's style, evidenced by the way she had methodically and precisely beat up Jim. Blair chuckled to himself. Jim would certainly not agree with that line of reasoning.
"Private joke, Chief?" Jim asked from the doorway. He walked out onto the balcony, dressed in his blue robe, a cup of coffee in his hand.
Turning around, Blair studied his partner, noting the slight limp, and the stiffness with which he carried himself. "Yeah, kind of. How's the knee and the ribs this morning?"
Jim winced at the reminder. "Sore, but I'll manage." He joined Blair in leaning on the balcony railing, and watching the city come to life. He frowned as he caught sight of their neighbor stretching in the parking lot, then jogging off down the sidewalk, her ponytail swinging behind her.
"Hey, there's Dee," Blair said.
"Yeah," Jim replied, "I noticed." Something Diandra had said last night came back to him, something he couldn't make sense of. "Hey, Einstein, where's Delphi?"
"Hmm," Blair said, still distracted by the sight of Dee in jogging shorts and a cropped tank top. "Oh, Delphi? It's in Ohio, unless of course, you are speaking of THE Delphi, which is where Apollo's temple was in Greece. Why do you ask?"
"Just a something Pallas whispered in my ear last night, when she had me in that stranglehold."
Blair turned to stare intently at Jim. "What exactly did she say? I remember seeing her lips move, but I didn't hear anything." A light went on inside his head, but he wasn't going to let Jim know Dee probably knew he was a Sentinel.
"It was kind of cryptic. I asked who she was, and she said, 'I am Diandra of Delphi.' It sounded like she was going to say something else, but then there was this screaming, and she let go of me."
"Screaming? What do you mean, screaming? I didn't hear any screaming!"
"I might have imagined it, Chief. I was suffering from lack of oxygen at the time. But it sounded like some kind of animal."
Blair flashed back to his dream of the injured jaguar. "Was it the big black cat? Your spirit guide?" he asked.
Jim thought for a moment, then shook his head. "No, it was higher pitched, and no snarl to it." He shrugged. "Like I said, I was seeing spots at the time. I could've imagined it."
Somehow Blair didn't think so, but he tucked the information away as one more piece of the puzzle that didn't fit with anything else. Right now he had a big collection of inside pieces, and no edges. Diandra of Delphi…that might be an edge piece. She could have been referring to her native city, except that Jim had said her passport listed her Greek residence as being in Athens. Funny how she didn't have a Greek accent…it was more Aussie than anything else, but when she called him "Lobo", it was with a perfect Spanish accent, and he still wasn't sure what language she used for swearing…
"Chief, are you still with me?" Jim asked.
"Oh, sorry, Jim. Just lost in thought."
"I said I was going to go start breakfast. You want anything?"
He shook his head. "Not right now. I'm going to stay out here for a while longer." Nodding, Jim turned and went back inside. Blair leaned his elbows on the railing and peered down at the street, his eyes following the direction Dee had taken. Diandra of Delphi…he'd read that somewhere a long time ago, some book, or poem, or play. The answer was right there, he just couldn't grab hold of the elusive little thing. He wouldn't worry about it; it would come to him eventually.
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Stepping out of the shower, Dee grabbed a towel and dried off. The early morning run had done her a world of good. Slipping her robe on, she headed downstairs to the kitchen. The five-mile jog had cleared her mind, and she had come to a simple decision. She would not make another overture to Blair about anything. She would concentrate on unpacking the rest of her stuff, and then get started on her teaching curriculums for the fall semester. She had enough to do without taking on another student. After all, hadn't her last one taken up every waking moment of nearly five months? Dana had reminded her how demanding one on one teaching could be, especially when one was trying to cram centuries worth of advice into a couple months.
Thinking of Dana made her smile, as she took the leftovers from yesterday's breakfast out of the fridge. She nibbled on a strawberry as she put coffee in the coffee maker and turned it on to brew. It had been nice hearing from her student, even though she had been calling with bad news. Dee hoped Dana was keeping up with her sword work. If she knew Fox, he was probably making sure she took time to practice every day, even when they were on the road. She knew he'd been consulting with Duncan when he'd come to Seacouver at the end of Dana's training. Probably asking for tips on how to keep her in shape, she laughed to herself. Fox had been no slouch with a sword himself, and she felt sure her pupil could only benefit from her partner's willingness to help out.
With Dana off on her own again, that had left Dee alone in Seacouver with MacLeod. And while Duncan was a good friend, and she loved him dearly, she had felt the need to move on, to be on her own again. Still, in a way she envied Blair and Jim's closeness. It was nice to have someone to come home to, to talk to at the end of the day. Who was she kidding? She missed the spiritual connection a guide had with a sentinel, the feeling of completeness one could only get with their other half. "Don't go there, Dee," she said out loud. "You don't have an other half anymore."
So a soulmate was out of the question. That didn't mean she was dead. But that meant dating…ugh. They ought to have an Immortal dating service, she thought. That would get all the explanations about the Game and Quickenings and long lifelines out of the way. Having a relationship with a mortal was difficult, as she'd been painfully reminded by her few months with Fox. Hiding her true identity from him had taken its toll, especially when Immortals had been coming out of the woodwork at her. The first had been Kenny and his slaughtering of Pre-Immortal children, then Violette Crane, and finally Dana and Phoebe. The last two had driven a stake right through the heart of her relationship with Fox. Just when she had been about to confide her secrets to him, his partner turns out to be a new Immortal, with no idea of what she was. Phoebe Green had then ruined any chance of Diandra ever making things right with Fox when she'd forced Dee to kill her to save Dana's life. Nothing like killing your lover's old flame by chopping her head off in the parking garage at your beloved's workplace to ruin a relationship, not to mention running off with his partner and disappearing for five months.
Dana had tried to explain things to him, but the wound had been too deep. Mulder had trusted Dee, and she had betrayed him. He realized
she'd done the best she could with an awful situation, but he couldn't forgive her. They were friends, if a man who tolerated her because she was necessary to his partner's keeping her head could be called a friend.
Dee shook her head. Learn from your mistakes, girl. Keep out of Blair's way, and he won't have a reason to be disappointed in you. She poured her coffee into a mug and added milk and honey. Taking a sip, she thought, "Still, there's a lot he could learn from you. Things that are important for him to know, necessary even, to partner a champion." Mmm, and the fringe benefits… She felt the hot flames of desire burning her cheeks. Yes, he is very attractive, and yes he is kind and sweet and adorable, but compared to you, he is a child! "Compared to me, everyone is an embryo," she sighed aloud. Oh, well, she'd made up her mind. She wasn't going to pursue any kind of relationship with Blair, be it as teacher, friend, or lover. That decision she knew would have Ellison doing cartwheels. Gazing around the apartment, she wondered what job to tackle today.
Just as she had decided to forgo any more unpacking for the moment, and take a run over to the university to check out her office and the teaching resources available to her, there was a knock at the door.
Upon opening it, she found Blair standing in the hallway, bouncing nervously. "Um, Dee, I want to apologize for Jim last night. We had a long talk, and he kind of admitted that maybe he was wrong to have run that background check without talking to you first. Anyway, I was, uh, wanting to know if we could still be friends."
Diandra began to respond, but Blair didn't give her the chance. "Because, um, I've made a decision. I want you to teach me how to protect my sentinel."
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By the time Jim got off the elevator at Major Crimes, he was beginning to think coming to work had been a bad idea. Despite being wrapped in an Ace bandage, his knee was throbbing, and just the friction of his shirt against his skin was sending shooting pain through his ribs. He wrestled with the dials for a moment, and the levels dropped to merely annoying. A small sigh of relief escaped his lips, and he entered the bullpen, heading for his desk.
Just as he was about to sit down, he heard Simon bellow, "Ellison, my office!"
Entering Banks' office, he sank gratefully into a chair across from Simon's desk. Simon glanced up at his detective and did a double take. "You look like hell, Jim. Are you sure you should be here?"
"I'm fine, Simon." Jim growled, then grimaced as his sensitive ribs came in contact with the chair arm.
"Fine, my ass. What happened to you between the time you left last night and now? Did you run into trouble up in Seacouver?"
Jim flashed back on his interview with MacLeod, which had consisted of him asking about Diandra and MacLeod telling him to get out. "No, sir, not in Seacouver."
"Jim, if I didn't know better, I'd swear someone worked you over pretty good." Simon pinned him with an intimidating glare. "If you look this bad, I'd hate to see the other guy."
Ellison sighed. He might as well get this over with. "There's not a mark on her."
Intrigued, Simon leaned back in his chair, and laced his fingers together on top of his stomach. "Now this is a story I have to hear. What happen, you get kicked by a horse?"
"Just my next door neighbor." At Simon's surprised look, Jim continued. "Yes, she found out I ran a background check on her, and was not too happy about it."
"So she took her irritation out on your hide."
"That's about it, yeah."
Simon shook his head. "I should listen to my gut instincts more often. I knew when you mentioned her yesterday that you would get into trouble. Your nose for it is as sensitive as Sandburg's is. And, speaking of your neighbor, and trouble, that's why I called you in here. I received a call from the FBI this morning, complaining about your interference in an ongoing investigation regarding Dr. Pallas."
If Jim could have gotten his hands on anything, he would have thrown it. "God damn it, Simon, that's bullshit. The FBI are looking the other way when it comes to her involvement in those murders; hell, they're protecting her!"
"And with good reason, Jim. It seems she's helped them out on more than one occasion, first with catching a serial killer in North Carolina, and then with stopping some violent attacks in the Seacouver area. She was also part of a group that brought down that European terrorist, Pierce Holmes."
Jim sat back in his chair, stunned. "No one knows who blew his stronghold up and took out Holmes and his followers."
Simon shrugged. "I'm just repeating what I was told. For whatever reason, the FBI wants you to lay off. So I'm making it an order, Jim. No more snooping. Until such time Dr. Pallas actively participates in a crime, you are to leave her alone."
Jim left Simon's office fuming. Didn't anybody see it besides him? She wasn't normal! "But then," he heard his guide's voice inside his head, "neither are you." Jim sat down at his desk and opened one of the files he had ignored yesterday to run the background check. At least he knew she had lost some of the fascination she held for Sandburg. He only hoped it was enough to keep his guide away from her.
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Dee stood in her open doorway, her blue eyes taking in the worried look on Blair's face. Stepping back, she waved him inside and shut the door behind him.
"Please, Dee, say something. I know you're still pissed at Jim, but please don't be angry with me. I want us to still be friends…"
Reaching out, Dee laid her hand on his arm. "Of course I'm not mad at you, Lobo. I'm not really mad at your roommate either. I lost my temper yesterday and I'm sorry. It's just that if your partner decides to make trouble for me here, then I'll have to move again, and I really don't want to do that. I like Cascade, and especially the people in it." She gave Blair a smile.
"Is that why you left Washington, DC? Because you were in trouble?" he asked without thinking.
She pulled her hand back, and her smile slowly faded. "There were a lot of reasons for me leaving, but I left because I had a student that needed my help. And the best place for me to train her was in Seacouver."
"Train?" Blair asked.
"Yes, train. Much like I'm going to do to you."
"Oh, wow, you mean you'll really help me? You'll teach me how to defend myself?"
Dee felt a smile tugging at her lips again as he fairly radiated excitement. She reminded herself that not five minutes ago she had been vowing to stay away from Blair. "Yes, but I swore I wasn't going to approach him. He's come to me," she thought. "That makes all the difference. It's his decision, I had nothing to do with it."
"Of course I'll help you, Lobo. It's what I do." As she said the words, she realized once again how true they were. No matter how hard she ran, no matter how well she hid, the fates had always found her and presented her with a problem to solve. From kings and queens seeking advice from the Oracle, to Gods bent on revenge, Amazons in need of a Champion, villages overrun by Crusaders, new Immortals needing the skills she taught, kidnapped friends, troubled FBI agents, and fledgling guides, the fates had lit the path to her door for them. After more than two millennia, she had given up offering more than a token resistance to their wishes. "So be it," she thought. "I am now an instructor of Companions."
Her thoughts returning to Blair, she found him staring at her, trying to hide the grin on his face. Obviously the sight of her in nothing but a blue silk robe that fell only to mid-thigh was highly distracting for him. "There's coffee and stuff in the kitchen for breakfast. Let me go change my clothes, and I'll be right with you." Brushing past him, she headed for the stairs.
"You don't have to get dressed on my account," Blair said softly, then blushed furiously as he realized he'd spoken out loud.
With a throaty chuckle, Dee turned back to him. "There's no reason to be embarrassed. I've looked at you like that on occasion, too. I've just never let you catch me." So saying, she crossed the studio to the stairs, aware o
f Blair's surprised gaze on her back the whole way.
Blair watched her climb the stairs, then headed for the kitchen. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he picked up an orange from the counter and began to peel it. For the hundredth time he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Jim, he knew, would not approve. Pushing his hair back with one hand, he rubbed his temple. Despite what Jim might think, this was important; he could feel it in his gut, much the same way he had felt when he had met Jim. He knew he had to become part of this man's life, that Jim needed him.
Popping a slice of orange in his mouth, he wondered which would bother Jim more, that he was learning to fight, or that Diandra was his teacher. Probably Dee, he thought. If Jim knew he wanted to learn self-defense, he would insist on teaching Blair himself, and somehow Blair just couldn't be that vulnerable in front of Jim. He sighed. Maybe it was a guy thing, or maybe he really didn't want to know what Jim had learned as a Ranger. He knew Dee was just as, if not more, deadly than his sentinel, but somehow that was different. He didn't sense in her the darkness he sometimes felt in Jim, had felt especially when they had been dealing with Alex Barnes. With Diandra, while he knew she was dangerous, he felt that deadly force would always be a last resort with her, not just one more option available in her arsenal.