by Amber Flora
“I go by many names. Clotho, Fate, but you can call me Chloe.”
I looked at her in complete befuddlement.
“You’re fate?”
The young woman waved her hand dismissively.
“Well, one of three. My sisters wouldn’t appreciate it if I took all the credit.” She put her hand to the side of her mouth as if she were whispering. “Although, between me and you, I do the heavy lifting.”
I shook my head in disbelief. Fate was real, and it was a woman? Did I fall asleep and was this some creepy ass dream to come to terms with all the turmoil in my life?
“Aren’t the fates supposed to be old and ugly?”
Clotho or Chloe, whoever she was, gritted her teeth.
“Aren’t heroes supposed to be men? A bit rude to be putting labels on people, isn’t it?”
“I’m not a hero. If I were he wouldn’t be lying here.”
I motioned toward Herrick.
“Oh, honey, bad things always happen to the heroes. It goes with the territory.”
“I’m sorry, I just have a difficult time believing that you are fate — as in you actually write out people’s destiny.”
“We don’t write destinies, Ashtyn. That is in your hands. I spin fate, not for all souls, just the chosen ones.”
“Aren’t fate and destiny the same thing? What’s the difference?”
“Hardly. You can change your destiny, but fate is kind of like the result. All the little things you do in between is destiny, it can be altered to a degree, but fate, fate is final. Once I spin your fate, there is no going back. You will always end up right where you belong.”
My fate really had been planned from the get-go? I had no choice in the matter? Everything I was doing to fight my fate and change the outcome was pointless. I felt utterly defeated.
“You said I was like my mother. Did you know her?” I wondered how much my mother had known about my so-called fate.
“Of course I did, I spun her fate as well. She didn’t make it easy though. That girl was constantly rewriting her destiny, a lot like you.”
I smiled thinking about our similarities. I liked that she didn’t accept that her life’s plan was already written for her.
“How exactly have I done that? If I changed my destiny, why is my life still in shambles?”
Chloe stepped toward Herrick but I moved myself to block her from getting any closer.
“I wouldn’t hurt him; he is bound to you. Although, if you had left well enough alone you wouldn’t have the guilt that plagues you.”
I looked at the unconscious vibrant in confusion.
“Not him, silly, the other one,” she said, nodding her head toward the door.
“Mac? I don’t understand.”
“You altered your destiny when you saved his life. He was never meant to leave Damon’s cell. He should have died there but you being your stubborn self just couldn’t allow that to happen, and now here you are, torn between men.”
Mac was supposed to die? That was a part of my destiny? What the hell was wrong with this bitch?
“You are telling me that you were going to kill Mac to keep me on the right path?”
I felt the heat building inside of me and seriously considered roasting the so-called spinner of fate.
“Think about it, Ashtyn: Here you are, in love with two men, not wanting to decide between them. It was never meant to be this way. Mac should have died. You would have grieved and moved on. Instead you decided to bargain for his freedom, which led you down a path of difficult choices and a different kind of pain.”
I thought about her words, how she saw the picture in her mind, and it only angered me more.
“You would have let him die just so I didn’t have to choose between him and Herrick? So I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings? You psychotic bitch! Don’t you think death is a far worse outcome?”
Chloe’s lip turned into a snarl before she caught herself.
“He had only ever loved two women, one of which is dead. Herrick is tied to your fate. There is no changing that, which means now that Mac lives he has to lose the woman he loves all over again. If he would have died like he was meant to; he would have gone a happy man, knowing that you cared for him. You took that away from him. You are the one who is hurting him, not me!”
I was as if Chloe was truly angry with me for causing Mac pain, like she held me personally responsible. That was comical since she wrote my damn fate. I knew Mac would be hurt when I told him the truth. I wasn’t dumb or blind to the fact that he was in love with me, and it hurt like hell knowing that I would cause him pain, but she would never convince me that a broken heart is worse than death. If I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. I was happy I met Mac, glad we shared the moments we did and more than all else I felt blessed to have such an amazing man in life, even if telling him the truth resulted in me losing him altogether. I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. He did and would always hold a piece of my heart.
“Well I’m sorry to thwart your devious plans but it happened. He’s alive, and if you came here to change that than you signed your own death warrant.”
“Brave little Ashtyn. Always fighting for those she holds dear. I feel as if I have a strong case of déjà vu. Do you really think I came here just to right the wrong you created?”
“Then why did you come here? I’m assuming it’s not to right the wrongs fate dealt me.”
She wanted to put blame on me for altering her little scheme, but I could do the same. After all she was the whole reason my life was so screwed up to begin with.
“I figured it was time I laid eyes on you myself. I like to keep an eye on my favorite projects.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You have people’s lives in your hands! This isn’t a game, you cuckoo bitch. Tell me, Chloe, how exactly does being fate work? Do you just wake up one day and decide to ruin someone’s life?”
I turned to look at the door, hoping Mac and Brian would barge in any moment and snatch her ass off the ground.
“They can’t hear us. I have blocked my presence from others, kind of like being in a soundproof room. I know you find it difficult to believe, Ashtyn, but my sister and I don’t do all this out of boredom. We’re just doing our jobs. Before you were born I spun your thread, my sister Lachesis measured out the span of your life and sweet little Atropos cut the string that determined your manner of death. You didn’t even have a name when we locked up your fate and threw away the key. It’s not personal, Ashtyn, it’s a job.”
Just a job? The sisters of fate destroy the lives of innocent people and it was just a job? This just kept getting better.
“You said my mother fought fate as well, how?”
Her eyes brightened at the thought of the past.
“Deandra was a feisty thing, always fighting the inevitable. For one, she was never supposed to give you her memories. That caught us by complete surprise. She was a clever one.” Chloe laughed.
“I’m glad she did. You don’t know what it’s like to go your entire life without knowing where you came from or even what features you inherited from your parents.”
I saw a pained look dance across Chloe’s face and I realized I might be wrong.
“What else did she change?”
“Small things here and there. It wasn’t so much about what she changed, it was about what she tried to. Deandra attempted to change her fate, and for the first time in my long career I was afraid she would succeed. When she learned of the impending attack by the Credo, Deandra made countless attempts to warn others. Preventing her from doing so was not an easy task.”
My anger consumed me as I launched a nearby lamp off the table and watched it smash to the floor.
“You knew the attack was coming and you did nothing? All of those people who died! Cody’s father and sister. So many suffered, still suffer! How could you do that? Have you no soul?” I thought Ruby held all my hatred — I couldn’t have imagined hating anyone more t
han her — but I was wrong.
“No one could alter that, not your mother, not even me. It was fated long ago. If those people didn’t die that day by the hands of the Credo they would have died shortly after in another way, maybe even a worse way. If your mother had stayed you would have died, too; hers and your fate would have been altered. She didn’t want to believe that. Deandra thought she could save everyone, her people and you. My sisters and I tried everything to stop her but she was relentless. The only way we were able to finally convince her was to show her the future without you, what the world would become if you were never born.”
I looked down at Herrick’s still body, thinking about all the pain I had caused those I loved. Mac and Cody tortured, Lori kidnapped, my grandmother killed and now Herrick on the verge of death.
“Better!” I cried out as the remorse flooded over me. The world would have been better. At least those I cared for wouldn’t have suffered the way they did. I felt a soft hand on my shoulder as Chloe sat beside me.
“Not true, mother of phoenix. Just as your mother did, you have set in motion the events that will lead to a reckoning. I know you see it, the realms are falling apart. Treachery and chaos surround them. They need a leader to unite them.”
The tears still fell as I looked up at her. “How could you do it, let all those people die?”
Chloe placed her hands in her lap but didn’t look away. I respected that she didn’t cower from her sin.
“I may be fate but even I have my limits. Neither I nor my sisters planned their fates. It was someone else's will.”
“But you’re fate, don’t you decide who lives and who dies? Not to mention that my mother tried to stop it and you wouldn’t let her.”
“We could not, don’t you understand? Just like your mother whatever we would have done would have had consequences far worse than the events of that day. It was planned long before I or my sisters were created. You don’t think days like that haunt me in my sleep? You think me impervious to the pain of others? It gnaws at me, the things I have to do, the atrocities I allow to happen, but it is the will of my father and I must obey.”
I rose, turning my back to her.
“Then your father is the biggest monster of them all.”
“Perhaps you are right but that changes nothing.”
“What of Herrick? How is he connected to all of this?”
“He is your mate, of course. Well, he will be if you can manage not to screw it up. Together the two of you will bring the Phoenix into the world and build a better future.”
I knew I loved Herrick but was I willing to accept that we were fated for one another? Was our love by our own choosing or was it the will of fate? If we ended up together I wasn’t sure I wouldn't spend the rest of my life wondering if it was of our own choosing.
“What does the end hold in store for me and my child?”
Chloe smiled, confirming she knew.
“I can’t divulge all my secrets. Just know that when this all comes to an end the journey will be worth the reward.”
I had so many more questions for fate, questions about my mother, Herrick, even myself, but before I could get another word out she vanished. One thing I knew for certain: Fate was real and she was on my list.
Chapter 11
Mac leaned against the door of his father’s apartment. Brian had stepped out to get some food for everyone and make sure Ruby wasn’t coming to drag them back for round two. He thought about checking on Ashtyn but he couldn’t face her, not after what he had done. He was racked with guilt and unsure if he could ever look her in the eyes again.
“I came as soon as I could,” Cody said, sitting next to his longtime friend.
“She will hate me forever.”
Mac tried to fight off the pain that pounded his chest.
“You and I both know better than that. Ashtyn could never hate you. She knows you didn’t have a choice.”
Mac shook his head, looking at his friend. “I did. I had other options. I could have refused and taken my chances with Ruby. I could have fought her guards. I even could have called her bluff in hopes that she wouldn’t have harmed Ashtyn. Instead I took the easy way. I stabbed a man she cares for her with barely a second thought. You know how protective she is over the people she loves.”
Cody slapped him friend on the back and laughed.
“Seriously? What do you think you mean to her? Make no mistake, my friend, that girl loves you. She would give her life for yours in a heartbeat. Come to think of it, she has.”
“That was then, with him in the picture it’s a whole new ballgame.” Mac motioned behind the door.
“I can’t begin to understand the workings of a woman’s heart but there is something I know without a doubt: No matter how much she may love him, she will never stop loving you. Your future with her may not be what you envisioned but I have a feeling as long as you allow her to be in your life, she will.”
Mac nodded, not because he believed what Cody was saying but because he didn’t want to think about it anymore. He knew what he had done was wrong and he would accept whatever consequence he was dealt because he would do it all over again if he had to. Ashtyn could have been hurt or even killed. Given the choice between Herrick or her — hell, anyone or her — he would choose Ashtyn every time.
“How did it go in Cardician?”
“We got what we went for, Damon is hiding out Siberia.” Cody leaned his head against the door and closed his eyes. He couldn’t get the thought of Kat out of his head — what she may be going through, how alone she must feel. It was driving him insane. He had to get her back. He wouldn’t be whole until he knew she was safe where she belonged.
“That’s good news, huh? Why do you look so grim?”
“I’m just thinking about his mother. I expected her to be a little crazy but something wasn’t right. The things she said, they didn’t make sense.”
Mac smirked. “You expected the mother of Damon to be sane? I’m sure she has more than a few screws loose.”
“Yeah, you're probably right, I just can’t shake that she knew something more than she was saying, something that might explain all of this.”
“My friend, I don’t think we'll ever know the true cause of all of this. There is only one thing that does and that’s fate, and she isn’t talking.
I brushed my hand through Herrick’s jet black hair. He looked so at peace in his sleep that I wanted to join him. A smile crossed my face as it hit me. I could join him. Being half dreamwalker I technically could dreamwalk through others’ dreams. I had never done it before, mostly because Lori and my father were the only people I knew before Herrick who actually slept. I wasn’t sure I could do it successfully without coaching but I had to try. I wanted to make sure he was all right and the thought of walking through his dreams excited me. I knew it was intrusive and I hated all the times Cody and Mac spied on me without my knowledge, but I just wanted to see him, if only for a moment. I lay beside him on the couch facing his somber expression. Placing a kiss on his cheek, I closed my eyes and willed myself to concentrate, imagining myself inside his mind and linking my energy to his. For a moment I felt as if I were floating, being pulled toward something. I allowed it to carry me across realms to Herrick. I opened my eyes, taking in my surroundings. I immediately knew where I stood. He was dreaming of the cabin in Alaska, the place where we stayed after escaping Damon’s estate. Why? I wondered. Of all the places and things he could dream about, why this place? I walked through the living room toward the open door in front of me. I knew he couldn’t see or hear me, just like I hadn’t been able to with Cody and Mac at first. Still, I tiptoed toward the bedroom, peaking inside. He was sitting on the edge of the bed looking away from me. He wasn’t talking or moving, just sitting there with his head in his hands. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him. Instead I stood frozen just staring at the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed. So much I wanted to say to him. I was too afraid in human realm but here
in his dreams with the protection of invisibility I just might be able to get some of it out. I stepped farther into the room, taking a deep breath.
“I just wanted to check on you. It’s been a while and you haven’t woken up. I was worried. Well, if I am being honest, I was a little curious, too. About what the powerful vibrant dreams about. Not big on imagination, huh? Of all the things you could dream about you pick this cold boring place? Herrick, there is something I need to tell you and I know you can’t hear me, which is kind of why I’m saying it now. I guess I’m not as fearless as I thought. I’m in love with you. I think I’ve known it for a while I was just too afraid to admit it. When you left I couldn’t get you out of my head. I was mad at you for walking away from me and even angrier when I discovered you had feelings all along. Did I really mean so little to you that you were ready to walk away and never look back? I met fate; turns out it’s a chick. I think you would like her, she seems like a prima donna. Anyway, she said you and I were fated for each other. I don’t know how much of it is true, if she and her sisters orchestrated this whole thing, if any of it is my choosing, but I do know this: I have dreamed of you nearly every night since you left. When I imagine a future I can’t see one without you in it. I don’t have anything to offer. I’m not even sure I’ll make it to tomorrow but I know with every breath of my body I can love you like no one else. We’re two lost souls wandering through this insane world but together maybe we can find the peace we desperately need. From the moment I laid eyes on you I felt something between us. I wanted to hate you, to see you as the villain everyone painted you to be, but I just couldn’t. All I saw was a man tortured by his past and desperately wanting to be part of the world that shunned him. There is so much good in you Herrick, you don’t deserve the life Anastasia cursed you with. You deserve someone who loves you just as you are. Someone who will stand beside you through the storm. I love you, Herrick, for all that you are and all that you can be.”
I noticed he was about to turn in my direction right before I was pulled away by the same force that brought me into his dream.