by Paula Quinn
What about mankind? she asked. You know what will happen. You told Jeremy—
It’s easy not to care about a race that wants you dead, he said, rising to his four feet.
No, she corrected, stepping into his waiting fingers and closing the blankets around her. It’s easy not to care at all.
And safer.
Outside, the sun was low on the horizon, but still provided her enough light to see the white expanse around her. Oh! she cried out as he took off with a great flap of his wings. Oh, this is so much more terrifying in daylight!
It won’t be daylight for long, Garion said softly, casting his gaze over the jagged, snow-covered mountains of Iceland in the distance and the glittering glaciers below. You could close your eyes but then you’d miss the view.
My eyes are already closed. And how is it safer?
Didn’t she remember his deadly rage? She’d been there, hadn’t she? His days as a man with her were fading with every day he spent as Drakkon, but he remembered her telling him. I cared about Thomas.
Yes, and you carry the guilt of his death.
He thought about it for a moment and then agreed. Thomas’ death was his fault. When Thomas had discovered that I turned the boys, he insisted on protecting them. For a month, he spent every day with us, keeping the boys from going too far in their new, powerful bodies. They were young and reckless. I hadn’t thought about the enormity of the shift on eleven year olds—or the consequences. I had been taught how to be Drakkon, they hadn’t. When they were killed, Thomas nearly went mad. I had never seen him so shaken. He begged me to turn him and I did. He’d vowed revenge on The Bane and I wanted him to do it. With the help of the Onyx, his seeing stone, he’d discovered The Bane’s meeting place in Northern Scotland, in the home of Hendrick White and went there to kill them. But The Bane had found him first. He’d contacted Marcus when he realized he’d been found. There was nothing we could do. I couldn’t reach him in time. He didn’t want me to. He told me to stay in my bed and then he said goodbye. As you know, I didn’t obey him. Everything changed in my life and in my family’s lives after that. I had to stay hidden until I finally left my family to keep them safe. I am capable of what you saw that night, Helena, and much worse. Caring only makes it harder to contain.
All the more reason to remain a man, she told him as they soared across the sun.
Maybe, a day or so ago, he thought to himself, letting the bracing wind scream across his ears. But things had changed.
Now there is you.
Me? she asked him. What do I have to do with anything?
She had everything to do with it. She was Drakkon—the hunter was now the hunted. He’d turned her. Now he had to protect her. He could protect her better with wings and fire.
Garion?
He inclined his ear. She called him Garion, not Gold. What did it mean?
People may try to come after you, Helena. You’ll need protection.
She laughed. The sound of it was so unexpected, Garion almost stopped to hover in mid-air and have a look at her.
I don’t need a Drakkon bodyguard. I can take care of myself.
She sounded insulted again. He wasn’t sure why. He hadn’t called her incompetent. He’d fought alongside her in the sitting room of his penthouse. She was capable, but that wasn’t enough. He didn’t want anyone to hurt her. He wouldn’t let them.
You’re holding me too tight. She pushed her palms against his scales. What’s with you today and all this talk of protecting me? I’m not your responsibility and I won’t have you use me as an excuse to remain a Drakkon. I don’t need a pet.
A pet? He blew smoke out of his nostrils. Did you just call me a pet, Helena?
Well, she replied hesitantly, there’s nothing wrong with pets. I—
He pulled his wings in and plummeted down, ignoring her while she fired curses at him. Yes, I forgot, he growled, all nonchalance and detachment abandoned, You don’t think of me as a man—even when I was one.
He pulled up the memory of them standing in the coffeehouse when she told him he wasn’t all man and sent the thought to her. He was careful not to share his momentary reaction to her insult. What did he care anymore what she thought of the man—or lack of him?
For a moment, her mind went still and then, like a surging wave washing over him, he felt her probing deeper, searching for his emotions as if she knew they were there.
I hadn’t meant to insult you, Garion, she said, proving she’d found them, though why she wanted to, he didn’t know. It’s more difficult now with you behaving like an angry beast, she continued, but as a human you stood out to me. You were not only a very beautiful specimen to behold, but you seemed to value ideals abandoned by many others. What I should have said was that you weren’t a mere man. You were more.
He didn’t know how to respond, so he took a few minutes to think about it all. The last time he was Drakkon, he was very young. Human emotions had ruled him as he grew, human values taught to him by human foster parents, caught up, thanks to his mother’s writing career and his father’s past feuds with knights, in older ways of thinking.
It was his human emotions she was pulling from him now.
I take it then, he said, finally breaking the silence, you like that form more than this one.
You’re an impressive Drakkon, but yes, I like your other form more. But—
But? He pushed when she remained silent.
Was anything you told me the truth, Garion? Is being Drakkon changing your heart?
She’d asked him too many questions before, too. She tried to dig too deep, even going so far as to probe his inner thoughts—and while he was certain he wouldn’t allow it with anyone else, not even his sister, not even Marcus, he allowed it with Helena.
Yes, he answered, and yes.
#
Dangling a couple of thousand feet over the North Atlantic Ocean was either going to give Helena a nervous breakdown or get her past her fear.
She refused to have a nervous breakdown in his hand. Besides, there wasn’t time to worry about falling into the waves. Being Drakkon was changing Garion’s heart. It was making him forget his humanity. If what he’d told her as a man was true and he believed the cost of turning other Drakkon was too high for mankind, every moment he spent as Drakkon jeopardized that belief. Jeopardized the whole world. It was one thing if Garion had lied to her. Then, it would have been hopeless. If he’d never had the intention of keeping to any deal, she’d have to go to the Elders so The Bane could be prepared to take him down. They had to keep Drakkon from filling the sky.
But he said he’d told her the truth. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe he was that man; fair and considerate, open and honest. She liked that man. She didn’t want him to be killed. She didn’t even hate the Drakkon anymore. She understood that he loved and lost much because of the Whites. She’d only seen the devastation to her family. She’d never known what it had done to his. But mankind wouldn’t be safe if he remained Drakkon and changed more men into fire-breathers. She had to make the man return.
Garion? Will you change back when we rest next? You could keep warm in the blankets.
The blankets are for your warmth, he huffed.
There are enough for us both.
I don’t think it’s wise, was all he replied.
Why not? Are you jealous of yourself?
He looked down at her and scowled. Don’t be ridiculous, Helena. It’s not wise because, in my human state, I’m attracted to you.
You are? She hoped he couldn’t feel her heart begin to pound against his fingers.
Of course, and don’t pretend you’re unaware. You’re an intelligent woman. Our kiss awakened the stars, Helena.
Yes, it had, but she was afraid to think too much on it. She certainly couldn’t be his life mate if he was Drakkon. If that’s true, she countered softly in his head, why is being a man with me unwise?
It might lead to intimacy between us.
It might
not, she corrected with a nervous laugh. But so what if it did? She remembered when he’d told her that intimacy was risky. He’d never told her why he felt that way. Why are you afraid of being intimate?
Because I’m not certain that in the throes of ecstasy I will remain a man. I haven’t been Drakkon in so long so I spent years fearing that the desire to eat my partner in those first few moments would be too strong to resist, but now I know I’m stronger than the urge because I don’t want to eat you.
That’s sweet. She let out a wry breath. Well, I’m sorry I asked. This was bad. This was very bad. She was going to be alone with him for who knew how long. If he remained gigantic and covered in scales that nearly blinded her every time she looked at them, his heart would grow colder toward his values. And soon, mankind would mean nothing to him. If he altered his form back to Garion the man and put his lips to hers, she was sure they’d end up in bed, risking a transformation while they made love. No, thank you.
But she needed to draw out the man. The world depended on it. She had to stir his convictions back to life before they were lost. She would simply have to ignore the effect he had on her and stay out of his arms and his bed.
She could do it. She didn’t have a choice.
They reached Jan Mayen, a remote volcanic island in the Arctic Ocean at about 3:00pm, an hour before the muted sunset. They rested beneath a steep slope nestled along a snowy mountain range Helena couldn’t pronounce with a hundred years of practice. They’d rest here for a few more hours and then cross the sea to Norway under the cover of night.
She’d be glad to reach their final destination. She was tired of flying and tired of telepathy. Her head hurt most of the time. Mostly, she was tired of freezing. There hadn’t been any wood in or around his caves, just snow. This place was no different.
Something she’d read once, before The Bane’s raid on Marcus Aquara’s home, seized her thoughts. She’d wanted to be able to keep herself from freezing while they traveled to northern England in the dead of winter. She’d learned that there was an alternative to warmth from fire. She needed rocks. Five or six football-sized rocks would do it. She made her request to Garion, explaining that once he heated them, they would spread the warmth. He agreed to try to find some and promised he’d keep in constant contact with her so she wouldn’t feel alone.
As he flew out into the dwindling light, she wondered which side of Garion was concerned about how she felt. What if it was the Drakkon side? What if the Gold was warming to her? How bad would it be to have her own dragon? She shook her head to clear it. It was the altitude making her entertain such crazy thoughts. The Bane would kill them both.
You there? she asked, looking out at the sky.
Yes.
Please tell me you don’t live in a cave, she said and pulled the blankets up around her nose while she settled in.
I live in a glass villa atop a mountain range.
A villa? A villa wasn’t too shabby. A glass villa sounded cold though.
It’s heated, he told her, listening in, and it has a nice view.
A nice view is good, but why Norway? She had to ask.
Norway isn’t as cold as you think. In fact, some days are rather mild.
Still, why not someplace warmer?
Like Bermuda?
Wow, she laughed and shook her head at the sky. Are you ever NOT in my head?
He didn’t answer and she tossed a mumbled curse to the wind.
I have an island off the coast of Fiji, he informed her a few minutes later.
Did she hear him right? He had a what off the coast of where? And he was taking her to more snow?
It’s too far. It would have taken at least a week to fly there. Besides, I consider the villa home.
But…it’s Fiji, Garion. And if you don’t want to be a man and Fiji is too far to fly, I’ll never get to visit.
And if I fly on a plane with you, as a man, you would visit then?
It’s Fiji. Hell yes I would.
A penthouse in New York, a villa in Norway, an island near Fiji. How much money did Garion Gold have and where did he get it all from?
Marcus has quite a substantial hoard and split most of it between Ellie and me. I also inherited Thomas’ hoard, and I’m a silent partner in twelve companies, so I have a lot.
You don’t have to tell me how much you have, she told him, embarrassed that he heard her. It doesn’t matter to me.
I know, he filled her head with his reassuring voice. You liked me before you knew how much I had.
Oh really? She did her best to sound amused but it was difficult to pull off. I liked you? You’re seriously arrogant, Gold.
Okay, so you didn’t have an obsession with the lack of women in my life?
An obsession? Really? She wished he were here so she could laugh in his face. A moment later, he was. He glided in silently and dropped six stones of the right size at her feet and then looked into her eyes.
Come with me. I found something I want you to see.
What was it? He wouldn’t tell her. She couldn’t tell if he was smiling or scowling, but his enormous, lambent eyes went soft and warm on her when he asked her to trust him. What did she have to lose? If he’d wanted to kill her he would have done it already.
He looked pleased, even a bit puffed up with satisfaction when she nodded her head and stepped forward into his waiting claws. Where could he be taking her in the middle of nowhere?
She didn’t think she’d ever get used to his takeoffs, or the rushing waves of bracing wind in her face, but she would admit that she was growing accustomed to the sky and the majesty of it. In the blue and orange hues of Nautical Twilight, it looked especially breathtaking with the bright, clustered Milky Way splashing across the sky. The crisp air snapped around her face, pulling at her breath and tearing more of her hair from beneath her hat. It was going to be a knotted mess when she finally unbraided it, but her hat kept her head warm for the most part, so she was keeping it on.
There.
She looked down at a circle of small fires burning around a small pool of steaming water.
He swooped down and landed with the grace of a sublime predator. He released her and stepped back as she approached the edge of the pool. It’s for you, Helena.
What is it? she asked, captivated by the heated fog and the dozens of lichen patches burning along the rocky slopes, illuminating the pool .
A warm bath, he told her. I think you’ll be happy now.
Chapter Fourteen
He created this light and brought her to this place to make her happy? She didn’t know what to think of that. And why? Why did this Drakkon care if she was happy or not? Things could never work out for them, could they? He had wings! And scales! He wanted to continue to fly! So why was he trying to make her happy?
What did it matter presently? She crouched at the edge of the pool and dipped her fingers into the water. “It’s warm!” she exclaimed, turning on her haunches to look at the great, gold beast behind her. “It’s a hot spring!”
Yes, it is. He held up his fingers and pretended to examine his shiny gold claws while she unzipped her parka.
When she fumbled with numb fingers at her sweater, she noticed him raise his heavy lids and take a peek at her.
“Turn around, please.”
He did, albeit with a long, smoky sigh, as if her request was completely unnecessary and tedious. You’re human, Helena. I’m not attracted to the human body.
“I should hope not,” she muttered while she hurried out of her clothes and stepped naked into the pool. The water was almost too hot, but as she sank to her chin, she smiled in the soft amber glow of the firelight. Oh, it was heaven! Blissful warmth saturated her body and she dipped her cold head in next.
Thank you, Garion, she told him telepathically. I needed this.
The human body is a frail thing, he replied with a thread of arrogance in her head. Arrogance and something else that made the cadence in his voice thicken with restraint. If
you had scales, you wouldn’t feel the cold. If you flew—
I like my skin just fine, she cut him off, and I don’t want to fly. Besides, what’s so wonderful about being a Drakkon if you have no need or desire to partake in this glorious hot spring? You don’t even know what you’re missing.
She dipped beneath the surface again; amazed that this little oasis existed in such a cold, desolate place. When she resurfaced, she heard him entering the water behind her and turned to see his reaction to the heated pool.
But there was no Drakkon in the water with her.
There was only a man.
Garion. When she saw him a few feet away, arrayed in all the splendor of his smooth, golden skin, of which more than half was hidden beneath the surface, she cried out and backed away. It was him! His human shoulders were wide and sculpted in muscle. His arms…oh, his arms that had held her while he kissed her, were carved slabs of glistening sinew. His long, chiseled torso, so much tighter than she’d imagined, held he gaze and made her swallow air. Yeah, Thor had nothing on this guy. She felt as if she hadn’t seen in him in weeks…months. She realized instantly and with a heavy heart that she missed him.
“What…? What are you doing here, Garion?”
He shook his head, as if he were confused and looked down at himself in the diffused light, standing in the water up to his waist. “I wasn’t thinking. I was looking at you and…I don’t…this isn’t a good idea.”
The sound of his voice outside her head was so welcomed, so tender, she thought she’d be content to listen to it for the rest of her life. But he hadn’t wanted to change back. It was clear by his worried expression. He lifted his gaze and let it peruse her shoulders, her neck, her face while she tread water.
“I wanted to touch you again.” He turned away looking distraught. “I never should have—”
“No.” She swam a little closer to him. He was going to turn again. His heart would grow more detached the longer he was Drakkon. “Don’t go,” she pleaded on a quavering breath. “Stay with me here a little while longer, Garion.”