by Gerri Hill
“What?”
“The Brenda I know would not even leave her bedroom without makeup, much less leave her house. What has happened to you?”
“Give me those,” Brenda said, snatching the sunglasses from Kate and putting them back on her face. “Nothing has happened. This is just a new phase in my life, darling.”
“I thought painting was the new phase.”
“Yes, it is. And I have met some wonderful people up here, all kind of . . . earthy people.”
“Earthy?”
Brenda waved her hand. “Natural. Peaceful.”
“Oh God, you haven’t stopped shaving, have you?”
“No, I still shave and bathe, Kate. But you’re right. Can you see me in Dallas, looking like this in public?”
“So, you’ve quit wearing makeup? Whatever for?”
“I have quit decorating myself, yes. It was as if I was trying to hide the true me beneath makeup and clothes and diamonds.”
Kate’s eyes flew to Brenda’s fingers. Missing were the three rings Kate had never seen her without. “Brenda, please tell me you’ve not joined a cult and been brainwashed.”
Brenda laughed, slapping Kate’s leg affectionately. “Oh, Kate, darling, nothing that exciting, I’m afraid. I’m fifty-seven years old Kate, and for the first time in more years than I can remember, I am among strangers. They know nothing of my past, of my husband, of the wealth that I have. One day, while I was still in Santa Fe, I was dressing, fixing my face, finding the perfect, elegant dress to wear to dinner, sorting through my jewelry when it hit me. Nobody knew me here. I didn’t have to dress the part. If I wanted to wear those cool linen shorts that I’d bought, no one would think me underdressed.”
“Brenda, I’ve been telling you for years that you didn’t have to dress the part. It’s not like he’s around any longer to force you.”
“Oh, I know. But it was such a habit after twenty-five years. All of his so-called friends still thought I’d married him only for his money. So I had to be extra careful.”
Kate smirked. “Well, he was thirty years older than you.”
“I’ll tell you now, Kate, I never was in love with him. I cared for him and grew to love him over the years, but I was never in love. And something his friends would be shocked at, for he was such a strong man, but he was impotent.” She whispered the last word.
Kate smiled. “So, you did marry him for his money.”
Brenda shrugged. “I grew up in Beaver’s Creek, Oklahoma. It was an accomplishment just to graduate high school.”
“You were twenty-five when you met him. Hardly high school.”
“Twenty-four and it didn’t matter. I was still in Beaver’s Creek. Best waitress the Beaver Saloon had ever had, in case I haven’t mentioned it before.”
“You have, but I still don’t know what it has to do with here and now, and why you’ve suddenly quit making yourself up.”
Brenda laughed. “Kate, darling, the simple truth is, I don’t have to make myself up any longer. Don’t you see? In Dallas, around our old friends, around the wives of our friends, I had to play a part. And I was good at it, I admit. But here, it no longer applies.”
“But Brenda, you can’t just let yourself go just because you’re away from your normal friends and your normal life.”
“Kate, do I look like I’ve let myself go?”
“Actually, no, you look wonderful,” Kate admitted. Brenda’s normally pallid skin had a healthy glow. Even her hair style had changed. The dull, hair-sprayed style she normally sported had been trimmed and left natural. Well, as natural as a bottle of blond hair color will get you.
“Thank you. I feel wonderful. And I can’t wait for you to meet everyone. But Kate, you have to promise to keep an open mind.”
“Brenda, I am the most open-minded person you know.”
“In your dreams, darling.” Brenda pointed out the window. “That’s the Rio Chama. We’ll come upon the lake soon, but the canyons around here are magnificent. You won’t believe the colors, Kate.”
Kate looked out the window, for the first time admiring the scenery as they climbed higher into the mountains. Hard to believe that just that morning, she was fighting traffic around the airport in Dallas and now here she was, far removed from the city and all its noise and hustle.
Brenda slowed as the highway came to an intersection. She pointed quickly to their right. “Taos is that way,” she said as she got in the left-hand lane. “Coyote is this way.”
“What exactly is Coyote?”
“Oh, it’s just a dot on the map, really. They do have a very nice lodge, though. I stayed there three days. But the area is filled with summer homes, most owned or rented by artists. I was lucky enough to find one to rent through the summer.” She glanced quickly at Kate. “It’s costing a small fortune, but I hardly care. It’s well worth it. I can’t wait for you to see the view in the mornings. The sunrise just brings everything to life. Now I know why Georgia O’Keefe found such inspiration there.”
“In Coyote?” Kate asked. “Where you’re staying?”
“Oh, yes, darling. The locals say she came often to paint the cliffs. Why, there are even pictures of her at the bakery.”
Kate bit her lower lip. “Are there any real trees, Brenda? Other than this,” she said, pointing to the small, stunted trees that graced the landscape.
“Trees?”
“I mean, you’re not taking me to a desert with cliffs, right?” Brenda laughed. “I promise, no desert. Well, they call it the high desert, but really, there are trees. It’s quite beautiful, Kate. And higher up in the mountains, there are pine and spruce forests.”
Kate nodded, enjoying the scenery that sped past as Brenda drove them deeper into the wilderness. It could be fun, she thought. And if it wasn’t, she could always head back to Dallas any time.
“So, tell me about these new friends of yours,” Kate suggested. “And why do I have to keep an open mind?”
“Well, there’s Sunshine and Harmony. I have no idea their ages or real names. They’re somewhere between twenty and forty. Very earthy. They’re into crystals.”
“Sunshine and Harmony? Are you joking?”
“Oh, no. Harmony is teaching me to paint. She’s very talented. She has her own gallery in Santa Fe.”
“Harmony? Who names their child Harmony?”
Brenda sighed. “Kate, I told you to keep an open mind. They are very nice. Now their friend Starlight, she’s a little strange.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “You’re just messing with me, right? Starlight?”
“Obviously, those are not their real names, Kate. That’s just what they go by. Harmony has this habit of naming people. It seems to stick.”
“Okay. Who else?”
“Well, I can’t wait for you to meet the sheriff.”
“The sheriff? You’re friends with the sheriff?”
“Yes. She’s something else. I swear, Kate, if I was ever curious about playing for your team, she’d be the one I’d pick. She’s got this magnetism about her. I can’t explain it.”
“Good Lord, Brenda!”
“I’m serious. Don’t think I haven’t thought about giving lesbianism a try, just because of her.”
Kate laughed. “You don’t give it a try, Brenda. You either are or you aren’t.”
“Well, that hasn’t stopped a parade of young blond things from throwing themselves at her, most of them straight and curious. Apparently she’s very talented.”
“And she what? Teaches them? Sex?”
Brenda grinned. “What would you do, darling, if twenty-year- old blonds were begging to share your bed?”
“Brenda, I’m thirty-seven years old. Twenty-somethings do not beg to share my bed. And if they did, I’d send them home to their mothers, that’s what I’d do.”
Brenda nodded as she made a turn off the highway. “Yes, I’m afraid you would, kiddo. Lee, however, doesn’t seem to have that problem.” Brenda glanced at Kate. “Of cour
se, she’s not thirty- seven. In fact, I have no idea her age, either. Young, I’m sure.”
Kate took a deep breath. “Okay, so far you’ve mentioned three earth fairies and a sex maniac sheriff. Have you met anyone normal,
Brenda?”
Brenda laughed as they topped a rise. “That’s what I have you for, darling.”
“Oh my God,” Kate murmured. She gripped the dash, her eyes scanning the vastness laid out before her.
Brenda nodded. “Those were my exact words, I believe, when I first saw this.”
Kate pointed. “The mountains there, is that Taos?”
“No, no. Taos is to the east.” Brenda motioned out her window. “That’s actually south, from where we came. Polvadera Peak is over eleven thousand feet. But the main canyons are to our north. You’ll learn much more about the area from Lee. She’s agreed to be your tour guide. She’s quite knowledgeable of the area.”
“Wait. Lee? As in the sex person?”
“She’s really very nice, Kate.”
“Uh-huh. And we’ll have so much in common. I’m in a monogamous, committed relationship. And she’s teaching straight girls how to have sex. You know how I feel about promiscuous women, Brenda. They get you into trouble one way or the other.”
“Well, if you leave your sex lives out of it, I believe you’ll have something in common. Aside from you, she’s probably the most normal person I know here. That’s why I know you’ll get along.”
“Brenda, by now you know how I am. I’ve never been into the whole casual sex scene,” she said with a wave of her arm. “I think it’s disgusting, actually. I mean, we’re not animals. We’re not fucking like bunnies.”
“Obviously you’re not, darling.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“You know what that means, you don’t need me to spell it out.” Kate grabbed the dash again as Brenda turned off onto a bumpy dirt road. “You know where you’re going, right?”
“Of course. If we’d stayed on the main road, it would have taken us into Coyote. We’ll go there tomorrow and I’ll show you around. This road will take us to our summer home, Kate. You’re just going to love it.”
“I’m sure I will, Brenda. But do you have any neighbors?” she asked as she looked around—trees, rocks and little else.
“Not close neighbors like in the city, of course not. The house we’re staying at sits on more than two hundred acres. I’ve walked most of it.”
Kate stared. The Brenda she knew did not walk. In fact, she was known to get in her car and drive to the end of her driveway to check the mail. She closed her eyes. God, I hope she hasn’t been brain- washed by some earthy cult!
“What?”
Kate shook her head. “Nothing, it’s just . . . you’re walking?”
“I’m telling you, darling, this is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. You’ve known me for years, Kate. You know I’ve never really been into nature and all that crap,” she said with a laugh. “But out here, I’m actually learning the names of plants, if you can believe that.”
“Well, I can’t,” Kate murmured. Then, as she stared, “My God.”
“Oh, yes. Beautiful.”
The large adobe home came into view, but it was not the house that drew Kate’s attention. No, the cliffs that spread out behind the house held her. The red sandstone reflected the afternoon sun, causing her to squint as she admired them.
“Oh, Brenda, now I see why you love it here.”
“I told you my view was incredible. The house is built so that the cliffs are visible from nearly every angle.”
As soon as Brenda parked, Kate was out, her arms spread wide. The heat that she was expecting was absent. It was pleasant, dry. The air smelled fresh. “Pine trees, Brenda?” she asked.
“Piñon pines and scrub oaks, primarily. There are some ponderosa pines mixed in, mostly in the wetter areas and up higher in the mountains.”
Kate grinned. “And you know the names of trees. Oh my.”
Chapter Four
Lee stared at her bed, watching the young woman sleep, wishing she could remember her name. She closed her eyes. Tiffany? Bethany?
She rubbed her face, smelling the remnants of their lovemaking. Perhaps she would enjoy it more if she could remember their names. She finally moved away into her bathroom. She closed the door before turning on the light. She stood there naked, the mirror reflecting back at her. She noticed two things. One, a bruise on her right breast. No doubt the blond had bitten down as she climaxed. And two, she needed a haircut. She dismissed the bruise, instead brushing at the dark hair that covered her ears, trying to tuck the errant ends. She deftly avoided meeting her own eyes in the mirror. She already knew what they would reflect—an emptiness that was getting harder and harder to hide.
Occasional sex with a cute young thing was one thing. But damn, she wasn’t twenty anymore. She could hardly keep up.
Did I really just think that?
She shook her head as she stepped into the shower. Maybe she was just past all that. Jumping from bed to bed in college was considered an accomplishment, but hell, she was—
“Getting old.” She stuck her head under the water. Her birthday was fast approaching and she was dreading it. Thirty was too young for a crisis. Surely she could wait until forty for that. She turned around, letting the warm water bounce off her back. Maybe she needed to talk it out with Brenda. Surprisingly, she had become friends with the older woman. Perhaps because compared to Harmony and the girls, Brenda seemed almost normal. Of course, the Indian chanting she’d taken up was suspect. And Lee didn’t know why she’d agreed to show her writer friend around. She wondered if she’d be able to lie and tell her she liked her books when, really, she couldn’t even make it through the last one.
Her eyes popped open when she heard the shower door open. Tiffany or Bethany stood there, stark naked, eyes traveling over Lee’s wet body.
“You are something else, Sheriff.” One manicured hand reached out, nails scratching lightly across Lee’s breast. “My boyfriend could learn a thing or two from you.”
“Yeah? Maybe you can teach him,” Lee murmured before pulling the young woman into the shower with her.
Chapter Five
“What the hell is that?”
Kate rolled over, eyes still closed. Chanting? They had just gone to bed, why in the world was Brenda chanting? Kate sat up and leaned on her elbows, listening. She was surprised at the gentle pink color reflecting off the cliffs that greeted her through her opened window.
Dawn? Already?
She lay back down. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept through the night. Up for water, up to pee, something. Never sleeping like a rock all night. But still, who got up at this ungodly hour? To chant no less.
But she couldn’t get back to sleep, the monotone chanting was drifting in through the window. She tossed off her covers, enjoying the cool crispness of the morning air. Grabbing her robe from the end of the bed, Kate walked barefoot through the open house, staring. Everywhere she looked, the cliffs reflected the sunrise. Now she knew why no curtains or blinds were hung. Who would want to close out this sight?
The French doors were left open to the patio, and she walked there, finally seeing Brenda. She was perched on a rock, not far from the expanse of the deck, her head bobbing slowly as she continued to chant. For some reason, the sound was comforting as the sun rose. Kate watched a bit longer, then silently crept back inside, not wanting to disturb Brenda. She would start coffee instead. It was only then that she glanced at her watch.
“Five thirty! That’s insane,” she murmured.
But soon, the smell of coffee had her waiting somewhat patiently, as she drummed her fingers on the marble countertop, watching the last of the drops fall before snatching the pot and filling her cup. After her first sip, she gave an audible approval, turning to find Brenda watching her.
“You like?”
Kate nodded. “Kinda nutty.”
“Piñon coffee.”
“Piñon? Like the tree?”
Brenda moved past her, filling her own cup. “Yes, from the piñon nuts.” She smiled when she took a sip. “So, how did you sleep, darling?”
“Like a rock. You were right. Leaving the windows open was a good idea. I had the covers up to my neck, feeling almost like winter.”
“Yes, it’s so pleasant sleeping in the cool air, isn’t it? And speaking of fresh air, I’ve noticed that you’ve not had a single cigarette since you’ve been here.”
Kate stared. “Actually, I haven’t even thought of it.”
“How long has it been?”
“Well, if I don’t count the one I had while waiting at the airport, it’s been over two weeks.”
“Wonderful, darling. I knew you could do it.”
Kate watched her friend as she poured more coffee. She was still puzzled by her appearance. The wealthy widow she knew from Dallas was considered nothing if not glamorous. Always impeccably dressed, makeup applied to perfection and not a hair out of place. The woman who stood before her now, clad in loose khaki pants, soft leather moccasins and an oversized cotton shirt that appeared to be hand-painted, would never pass for her Brenda.
“So, are you going to tell me what all that noise was?”
Brenda laughed, nearly spilling her coffee. “I think I should be offended.”
“And I think you should have warned me. I thought it was the middle of the night. Of course to some, five thirty is the middle of the night.”
“Well, that noise is a form of meditation. Some call it Indian chanting, but it’s a little more than that. Starlight has been teaching me.”
“Uh-huh, I see. Starlight. Figures,” Kate murmured.
“Oh, Kate, I told you to keep an open mind. It gets me outside at the very cusp of dawn. I’m able to completely close my mind to everything. It’s wonderful. It’s very relaxing. Maybe you should try it.”
Kate shook her head. “Don’t think it’s for me, Brenda.”
“Oh, well, I was the same way at first. I thought she was loony, but Harmony said it might help with my painting.”