by Laura Fang
“Thanks, Cecelia. I had a great night. I really enjoyed myself.” I turned to smile at her. I didn’t want her to think she had done something wrong.
“Me too. I’m looking forward to seeing you again already.”
She quickly gave me a kiss on the lips. It was chaste but sweet and left me feeling like I was on cloud nine for the rest of the night, floating above my problems, above the city, above everyone else. Life seemed a little less mundane now, I thought. This alpha was like a drug. Was that how it was for everyone? Was that how it was for humans? Or was this only a shifter thing? I had so many questions.
I had a lot to think about as I lay in bed. I wasn’t able to go to sleep immediately because I was still so hyped up from our encounter. There was still so much I wanted to ask her and so much I wanted to learn about her. She seemed so open, but her life was so different from mine, that it made her seem more mysterious than she really was.
And I had so much to grapple with within myself. I wanted her, and I wanted to be with her. That much was clear from all parts of myself—my heart, my body, and my mind. But it was so difficult for me to surmount the anxiety I felt when I opened myself up like that.
It was easy to be vulnerable in front of all the strangers I hooked up with. But I wanted to impress Cecelia and I wanted her to like me. In order to be in a relationship with her, she had to learn all about me. But I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. But then, would I ever be ready, if I wasn’t ready for my fated mate?
A shiver went down my spine when I thought about those words. I had never in a million years imagined that it could be true.
And yet, here it was, right in front of me.
4
Cecelia
I always hated working on Saturday mornings. But today, I wasn’t feeling so irritated. I felt okay with it—with everything. In fact, I felt overwhelmingly optimistic about all aspects of my life. Tess liked me and I liked her. What was there to even worry about?
That was just my heart talking. It was apparent to me that Tess was going to be a tough nut to crack. I couldn’t imagine how anyone could be so closed off, but then, I thought, it wasn’t really that unusual. Some people took a long time to trust. I had never been like that, but then, no one had ever wronged me.
I had a lot of questions about Tess’ family and her pack. It sounded like she didn’t talk to them at all. It even sounded like they could have been abusive, at least emotionally. I was intensely curious, of course, and my protective alpha instinct reared up when I thought about it. I supposed that I’d find out in time, when she was ready to tell me.
And if I didn’t? Could I continue a relationship with someone so emotionally unavailable? I was patient, and I was willing to wait for the right person, but emotional intimacy was a large part of a relationship for me. I loved immersing myself in another person and sharing my whole soul with them. I had to be with someone I could connect with on that level, and I wasn’t yet sure if Tess was that person. It was something else I’d have to wait to find out.
It was time to get down to business. First, I had to check my phone messages. I only had one, and it turned out to be from Leo, the guy who had interviewed me for the profile in the alt weekly. “Hello Cecelia,” he said. “I wanted to let you know that your profile will be in today’s edition of the City Paper. I’d love to know what you think, and I hope it gets you a few more downloads.”
I was pretty excited to see what the profile was like, especially after the extensive conversation I had had with Leo. We had met for coffee and he had spent an hour grilling me about my life, my sexuality, and my passion for tech and finance. He seemed hardworking and incisive, even if he wasn’t putting out high end investigative journalism. He’d definitely left me with confidence that the piece would be good.
And it was. The piece made me look great, and he’d described the app in such a way that she really sold it. If people weren’t already convinced that they needed it, his description of the gamification aspect would do the trick. My app wasn’t a boring budget app—it taught people how to budget through play.
I sat back in my chair, relieved. Sally had been right—PR was the way to go. Just thinking about all the people who would be picking up the paper or reading the article online made me feel thrilled. I was tempted to go check on the download charts already, but figured it’d be best to wait until the end of the day, when the city had actually looked at the paper. I dashed off a quick and sincere thank you message to Leo.
The day got even better from there. I had thought that today would be quiet, because it was Saturday, after all, but I received a couple phone calls from people interested in the Solace app. One was from the local university—one of the deans wanted to get students to use it, especially because it was free to download—and another was from a nonprofit that helped low income people with their finances. I was in disbelief. Had this one article really made such a difference?
However, even though it was neat to talk to these people who had found out about Solace thanks to Leo’s article, I had a lot of tedious work to get down to that absolutely had to be completed today. I went into one of the conference rooms to work so that I wouldn’t be bothered by any more calls.
It didn’t last long. I found myself thinking more and more of Tess—how her body had felt wrapped up in my arms, how her lips had felt under mine, how she had smelled and tasted. I was totally infatuated with the woman. And did I want her more than anything.
That had been the impulse that had led to trouble—I had been too forward when I had brought up the fated mates thing. I had intended it as something lighthearted, almost a joke, but she had picked up on the very real sentiment behind it. As emotionally perceptive and sensitive as Tess was, she had seen right through me.
I really wanted to see her a second time, but again, I didn’t want to be too forward. It was obvious that she was the type who’d be put off if I pursued her too hard. I’d have to tell myself to be patient. I had to give her space and let her come to me on her own terms, when she was comfortable.
When I finished up my tasks, I was finally free to head home, where I planned to chill out and maybe play some video games. I hadn’t touched those in a while. When I arrived at my door, I picked up the mail before walking in, immediately tossing all my junk mail in the recycling bin. There wasn’t anything too interesting in there, as usual—only coupons and store newsletters.
But then I spotted an unfamiliar envelope. It was the size of a greeting card and had a handwritten address. I didn’t recognize the handwriting, not did I recognize the return address. Carefully, I opened it.
It didn’t have a greeting card inside but a folded piece of paper. When I opened it, I saw that someone had typed up a letter. It was plain, in a basic font without a letterhead or anything—totally unidentifiable. The whole thing was very curious, and I almost thought it was a stupid prank until I actually finished it.
Hello, my dear Cecelia, it read, I’ve been watching you for a while now. You’ve kept your head down and stayed single. Good for you. But now you’ve found another omega—a replacement. Her name’s Tess and she works at the City Paper. She’s cute. She’s probably good in bed, too. But she’s not me. Whatever. I hope you have fun together, while it lasts.
My heart stopped. I felt lightheaded and had to sit down. My eyes were glued to the plain piece of paper, horrified that something like this could even be happening to me. I felt violated, like my insides were turning to jelly, like a hundred pair of eyes were watching me from hidden places. Had Fiona been spying on me this whole time, stalking me? It was horrifying to think so, especially because she had dragged Tess into it as well—poor, innocent Tess.
The bitch. I wasn’t done with her. My burst of fear quickly turned into rage. How dare Fiona think she could pull this shit—again? These were exactly the kind of threats she’d made to my friends and family last time. The police hadn’t been able to do anything, so I was reluctant to go to them now. I had promis
ed myself, last time, that I would, but I had the feeling that this was something to be settled between the both of us.
I set the letter down on my table gingerly, like it was a bomb, and stared at it. The words were quickly getting burned into my brain. I was viscerally reminded of Fiona; I had brought her into my house with this paper and I fought the urge to burn it, to pretend it didn’t exist. But I would need it later if I did want to start a paper trail with the police. I was paralyzed like that for a couple of minutes, while I figured out what I wanted to do next.
I was a shifter—I could defend myself. I didn’t have to go to the police just yet. Fiona’s tone had been threatening, but it also sounded like she didn’t think the relationship was going to go anywhere. Still, she would be watching. I didn’t like the idea that I’d have to be paranoid whenever I went out with Tess, wary of movements in the shadows and creepy loners at night. I shivered, my fists clenched unconsciously, seized with the urge to prove her wrong by taking Tess as my mate. But if I drew attention to Tess, there was no telling what Fiona would do.
Fiona had never actually done anything to put anyone I knew in danger. She had stopped at the letters and phone calls, and she had never even been seen. But she had given off the vibe of seeming like she was capable of much more than being a petty stalker. There was something dangerous about her, like if she snapped any more than she had, we’d all have been in trouble.
I would have to sleep in it. I didn’t see myself having any other choice. And I’d have to get in touch with Tess too—I didn’t want to scare her, but I didn’t want her to be unaware of the potential danger. She had to know so she could protect herself when I wasn’t able to be with her.
Fuck, I thought. Telling her that would involve telling her the whole story of Fiona, which wasn’t something I was keen on.
Well, it was for her safety. I’d have to suck it up and do it next time I saw her. And I’d thought she was the one who was emotionally unavailable.
5
Tess
“So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce our new Managing Editor—Leo Trussom!”
The room erupted into cheers as Leo stood up and went up to the front, grinning widely. He looked surprised to have received the promotion, though going from writer to editor was big enough that they had to have talked about it beforehand. You couldn’t spring that on someone as a surprise.
I felt like I was the only one in the room who didn’t want to hear this news—everyone else was smiling and cheering, happy for Leo’s newfound success. I was going to miss Shawna. Her husband had gotten a job offer in another state so she was moving. I had always liked her, and I hated the idea that she was going to be replaced with someone who actively disliked me.
With Leo as my supervisor, life was going to be hell. Of course, I hoped it wouldn’t be that way—maybe Leo would turn out to be better as a manager than as a coworker, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath. He clearly had some sort of bizarre personal vendetta against me. Maybe I was a scapegoat for his frustrations or maybe he was just rude. Whatever the case, I knew that I had entered a nightmare.
“Leo’s excellent work during his time as a writer made us feel like he was up for the job,” said our boss, Harvey. “He’s going to have big shoes to fill, but we’re all sure he’s up for the challenge.”
“Thank you so much, Harvey,” said Leo. “I won’t let you down.”
I hadn’t expected that I’d get the promotion—I was new, after all. But I had been hoping that it’d be anyone but Leo. At least the silver lining was that Leo’s position as senior writer was open now and I had a good shot of getting it, unless they brought in someone else. The next few months were going to be a challenge. I’d have to deal with manager Leo and put out good enough work to angle for the promotion. I could only hope that Leo would give me good assignments like Shawna had. But since I was his least favorite person in the office, how likely was that?
“Let’s get to our desks and start this new week off right,” said Leo. “I can’t wait to get settled and get started.”
With that, the meeting dispersed, though plenty of people hung around to congratulate Leo. I wasn’t one of them. I had no earthly idea why he hated me, but I didn’t care to pry too closely to find out. I had to keep my head down and work hard.
I had a couple of assignments that Shawna had given me before I left which were due to Leo this week. They needed some editing before I could send them along to him and then the copyeditor. With fresh eyes, I opened them up to take a look. With any luck, I’d be done with the first one by lunchtime.
I hadn’t been editing five minutes when Leo himself showed up next to my desk. “Hey Tess,” he said silkily, “can I see you in my office?”
This was weird, I thought. He had never been polite when he talked to me before. This was a radically different greeting. Usually, he had pretended that I didn’t even exist. Since I was so suspicious, I thought he might be trying to butter me up. He was going to ask me a favor—I knew it.
“Have a seat,” he said, leading me into Shawna’s old office. All traces of Shawna had been scrubbed. Her collection of rubber ducks was gone, replaced with the austere wooden office supplies that were more Leo’s speed. I felt an unexpected pang in my heart at the thought that I’d never be able to work with Shawna again.
I noted with some apprehension that Leo had closed the door behind us; it clicked shut loudly. We were alone in here together. I didn’t like it.
“So, Tess, now that I’m your editor, I’d like to ask you out.” He looked at me evenly with a pleasant expression.
“What?” I cried out, sure that I had misheard. “What?”
“I’d like to go out on a date with you this Friday. We could get dinner, see a movie. I’ve always thought you were cute.”
“You know I’m gay, right?” I asked, utterly incredulous. This could not be happening. I was pretty sure that I had made it abundantly clear to everyone in the office that I was not interested in men.
“I’m sure you can make an exception,” he said, smiling that same sweet smile.
“That’s not how it works.” I was lost for words, staring at Leo and gaping.
“Well, now that I’m your supervisor, you might find it in your best interests to do as I say. I mean, you like working here, don’t you?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Are you threatening me?”
He reached across the table and put his hand over mine before I had the chance to snatch it away. “I want to help you do the best you can here at the paper,” he said. “You’re a talented writer. You can go places. You have potential.”
I could only stare at Leo, filled with rage. This was unreal. There was no way he could get away with this, could she? It had to fall under the umbrella of sexual harassment, or something like that.
“Um, I’ll think about it,” I said, thinking quickly.
“Great!” He perked up, grinning. “Now get back to those articles.”
I couldn’t leave fast enough. I jumped out of my chair and practically ran back to my desk, my brain running a mile a minute. How in the world was I going to deal with this? It was utterly absurd. Who ever heard of a lesbian consciously making an exception for a man she hated? Leo was blackmailing me.
I went through my options. The paper was so small that it didn’t have an HR department, so I’d have to go above his head. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure that Harvey liked him. In fact, I had the vague suspicion that they had slept together in the past. He was always ridiculously indulgent; maybe he liked having the attention of a handsome man twenty years younger than him. Whatever the case, I wasn’t sure that he’d even believe me. Leo would only deny it—it was too easy for him to cast himself as the victim when Harvey was the judge.
I certainly couldn’t actually date him, even if I wasn’t already dating Cecelia. He was good-looking, but I didn’t find him sexually attractive at all. I was absolutely not into men, especially not ones who were so rude to
me.
At least this explained why he was always behaving strangely around me. Maybe he treated me badly because he had a crush on me. Or maybe he always treated everyone with the same prickliness and was turning on the charm because he wanted something from me. I thought that scenario was more likely. But how did that explain why everyone was so happy about his promotion?
Ugh, I thought. This was another complication that I didn’t need. The best option I could think of was to start looking for other jobs. But that idea wasn’t appealing at all. I loved working here at the City Paper. It was an awesome little paper and I got to write about stuff I found really interesting. I felt like I was one of the rare few who had managed to find a job that I loved. And now it was being taken away from me.
I wondered what the other writers thought of Leo becoming the editor. He seemed to get on well enough with the other staff and he treated higher ups with respect. It seemed like I was the only one, and it wasn’t a good feeling. I was all alone in my predicament.
I had the urge to call Cecelia and tell her everything. I couldn’t do that now, and certainly not in the office, but the thought of seeing her again cheered me up. She seemed like a smart person; it was possible she’d have an idea of what I could do. I shot her a quick text, asking her when she was free.
By the end of the day, I had turned in both of my articles and set up a meeting after work with Cecelia. I was relieved. Somehow the thought of going and telling her all about what had happened today was comforting. And to be honest, I was surprised by not only my relief, but also my original impulse to confide in her. I’d never felt that way about anyone before.
When 5:00 rolled around, I zoomed out of the office, not stopping to say goodbye to anyone. Cecelia and I were going to meet up for dinner and drinks. I hopped on the bus and walked the rest of the way to the restaurant, itching to see her again. I practically powerwalked, fueled by anxiety. It was going to feel so good to unload on her.