by Laura Fang
“Hello, Tess.”
I nearly dropped the phone. It was my mother. How in the world had she managed to get a hold of me? I did not want her in my life. I had blocked her in every way I had thought possible. The one thing I hadn’t done was change my number. I should have known that that decision would come back to bite me.
“Hi, Mom.”
“How are you?” Her voice was warm but I could tell how fake she was being. She had only ever used that voice when she wanted something from me. She never conveyed genuine affection.
“I’m fine. I thought I told you to never contact me again.” I tried to keep my voice neutral even though I was shaking. I sat down on the floor, unaware of the world around me. I could only focus on the voice on the other end.
“I hear you have a girlfriend now,” she said. “A serious one, an alpha. I suppose you’re going to get married soon.”
I hesitated. I didn’t want to confirm or deny anything she said. The less information she had about me, the better. I didn’t want to give her any fodder for conversation or any way to verbally attack me.
“How did you find out?” I asked.
“Oh, you know the shifter grapevine. There are plenty of shifters in the city. And there’s the internet too, of course. It was easy to search for you and find out that you accepted a position with this tech company. What happened to your dreams of being a writer?”
“I’m going to hang up and block your number. I told you I didn’t want to ever talk to you. I’ve been better off without you and Dad and I plan to keep it that way.” I was relieved that I had gotten all that out without my voice cracking. As it was, I was gripping my phone tightly and fighting off the tears that threatened to trickle down my cheeks.
“Okay, whatever,” she said, sounding bored. “You know I’ll always be able to find you, anyway. I know a lot of people, even people from outside our pack. Anyway, there’s something you might want to know about getting married.”
“What’s that?”
“You need permission from both packs to go through with it. If our pack doesn’t give you permission, which you know it won’t, then it can’t happen.”
I was surprised. I had never heard of a provision like that, and I didn’t think she was bluffing—it would be too easy to disprove. If she was right, then I was screwed.
“I’ll figure out my own life, Mom. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Tess.”
She gave a short, harsh laugh before she hung up, leaving me in shock. I stared at the phone. Did I want to block the number immediately? I didn’t even know whose it was; for all I knew, she was using a payphone or borrowing one. I wasn’t able to make any decisions right now, jarred as I was.
I tried thinking of all the legal stuff I knew about marriage. Because most shifters married within their packs, they only needed to get permission from one pack. But when two packs were involved, it stood to reason that they’d need to get it from both. And of course, my pack was so homophobic that they certainly wouldn’t give me and Cecelia permission.
I was really at a loss. I got up, energized by a sudden surge of anger. I thought I had escaped her, but she continued to haunt me and fuck up my life. I couldn’t have any happiness; she always had to take it away. Even when I was busy building a life away from her, she swooped in to ruin it. It was incredible. I hated to admit it, because it made me feel so guilty, but I was looking forward to the day she died.
I went back to our bedroom; Cecelia had awoken and was lying in bed checking email on her phone. I sat down next to her and she smiled at me. “Were you talking to someone? I thought I heard something.”
I didn’t want to make her upset first thing in the morning, nor did I want to keep it to myself. “I had an, um, unexpected conversation,” I said finally. “Do you know if it’s true that we’d have to get permission from both of our packs to get married?”
She gave me a weird look. I didn’t blame her; it was a pretty random question. “I don’t know,” she said, frowning. “It makes sense, but I’ve never known anyone who married outside their pack, so I’m not sure.”
“Well, it could be a problem for us if it’s true,” I said glumly.
“Who were you talking to?”
I was embarrassed that I was on the verge of tears. Cecelia looked at me sharply, concerned, then put an arm around me, rubbing her hand on my skin gently.
“Cecelia,” I said, my voice breaking, “it was my mother.”
10
Cecelia
I was furious. We had dealt with Fiona only to end up faced with yet another obstacle. And like Fiona, this one was a ghost from the past. Though if Tess’ mother was right, it was a problem that would have surfaced eventually.
I knew exactly who to call to resolve it for good: my father. He was an administrator for the pack, one of the people who oversaw marriage licenses and the like, so he would know what the actual rules were.
“Hey Dad,” I said, trying not to sound like I was in a rush. I was dying to hear the answer to this question, but I hadn’t talked to my father in a while.
“Cecelia! It’s great to hear from you. I meant to call you the other day; I got Luella’s mother to download the Solace app and she loves it.”
“Dad, that’s great. Thank you.” I meant it; the support of my family was invaluable to me. I thanked my lucky stars on a daily basis for giving me a family who had never doubted me.
“It sounds like you mean to ask me something,” he said, his tone becoming more serious. “What’s up?”
“I’ve gotten serious with a girl, the omega I told you about, and she’s the one I want to marry,” I said. Even though I was apprehensive about the answer I might hear, I was excited to share this news with him. I had told them that I was seeing Tess, when we first started dating, but this was a new development to them.
“Cecelia, that’s wonderful,” said Dad. “We don’t know her, do we? Is she from our pack?”
“That’s the thing, Dad, she’s not.”
“But you only need to get permission from her pack too, don’t you? It’s tedious, I know, but a little extra paperwork never hurt anybody.”
I sighed. “Her pack isn’t as er, progressive as ours, Dad,” I said. “That’s where we have a problem.”
“Ah. I see. Has she considered, you know, joining ours?”
Switching packs wasn’t commonly done, which explained the furtive tone my dad was adopting. It only happened in cases of emergency. For example, if a pack was wiped out and the remaining members had to join other packs for safety. For the most part, shifters never changed their pack affiliation. Packs were like families; if a shifter felt the need to renounce her ties with her pack, it was a big deal. There was a stigma attached to it.
“I don’t think she knows that’s an option,” I said. “We’ve been a little stressed ever since we found out about that stipulation.”
“It’s an option,” said Dad. “Of course, she shouldn’t be pressured either way, but if you want to get married, you can get married.”
“That’s a relief. Thanks, Dad.”
“Of course. You know I can help you with that paperwork, too. So when are we meeting the lucky lady?”
I smiled. “I guess we can come down soon… Maybe next weekend? And we can complete the paperwork?”
I could practically hear him grinning from the other side. “Perfect. Call up your mother and talk to her too.”
“Will do, Dad. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
When I hung up, I felt a lot better. My anger had abated and had been replaced with energy. “Hey Tess,” I said, calling out to the living room. “I called my dad and he said there was a solution.”
“Really?” said Tess, perking up.
“Yes. It’s just, um, a little difficult.”
“It doesn’t matter how hard it is, I’ll do it. Obviously,” said Tess. I could see her becoming energized as well. She really was ready.
“You have
to change your pack affiliation,” I said. I wasn’t sure how she’d take it. Her pack sounded terrible, but they were her pack, after all. It couldn’t be easy to renounce them. A lot of old-fashioned types seemed to think that it was a grave sin to give up on family, no matter how terrible they were.
“Oh.” She seemed deflated and slumped back on the couch.
“Yeah, I know,” I said, taking a seat next to her. “It’s not ideal. But it’s the only way for us to have a marriage that the shifters recognize.”
“I get that. I just—I don’t know. I mean, I want to do it, but it’s a big deal, you know? Your pack is your identity. It’s like changing your last name, but different.”
“I understand. I don’t want to push you at all. You have to do it if you’re comfortable. We can be together either way.” I put my arm around her, hoping to reassure her.
She gave me a weak smile. “Yeah. Do you know anyone who has changed their pack affiliation?”
I had to think about it. “I don’t. No one has ever wanted to leave my pack.”
“Maybe it is the right pack for me, then, if everyone likes it so much.” She sounded sour. I didn’t blame him, but then, I was a little irritated. Her pack had been so horrible—how could it be that difficult to renounce them? This was exactly the kind of situation that law had been written for.
But I had to take the high road. “I don’t think you’ll regret joining my pack,” I said.
“I probably won’t. But can you imagine renouncing your pack? Renouncing the pack songs and the pack howls, the right to hunt in the pack lands… That means I’ll never get to visit my childhood haunts again, unless someone invites me. And there’s a fat chance of that happening.”
“Were you planning to visit them anyway?”
“Not anytime soon, but I thought maybe when I had children, I could take them to my favorite creeks and forests. It’s sad, that’s all.” She frowned.
“Like I said, I don’t want to rush you,” I said. “It’s your choice.”
“You don’t have to rush me. I want to do it. I want to change packs, but it’s bittersweet. It’s like I’m giving up a part of my history.”
Part of me appreciated that she was opening up to me so much. It was a far cry from the Tess I had first met, who was a closed book. Now, it was like she was thinking out loud, allowing me to be privy to all her innermost thoughts. The contrast was significant.
“We don’t have to get married to legitimize our love,” I said, stroking her hair and kissing her on the cheek. “Remember that.”
“I will.” She reached out and took my hand, massaging it with her own. “But I want to do it for you and for our future children. Life will be a lot easier for all of us if I do this. I can sort out my feelings later. It’s not like the scandalous aspect will matter, anyway.”
“Scandalous?” I asked, puzzled.
“Oh, you know, the stigma. Shifters who change packs are treated a certain way. I think you would have to suffer a little bit of it too, because I’m changing so I can marry you.”
I hadn’t considered that I would have to deal with it too, but I knew my answer. “All I want is to be with you. I think I can handle a little bit of scandal.”
She kissed me on the lips. It was a lingering kiss, the kind that affirmed our love for each other. It was part of the conversation, and not a detour.
“My dad wants to meet you,” I said. “He can help do the paperwork too, so I thought we could visit him next weekend?”
“Sounds good,” said Tess. “I’m looking forward to meeting your family too.”
There was a sad expression on her face. She wasn’t bothering to hide it at all. It wasn’t difficult to figure out why she was feeling that way—she was going to be meeting my family but I wouldn’t be meeting hers. She had no family to bring to our union. It was all going to be my side.
I didn’t know how to help her there. The best thing I could think of was to make her feel included. Eventually, partners did become part of the family, didn’t they? She didn’t have to feel like an outsider for long.
Soon enough, the day of the trip was upon us. We decided to take that Friday off too, because the drive was long enough that two days didn’t quite justify it. We piled all our stuff into the rental car and hit the road, the radio blaring and the tank full of gas. It felt good to get out of the city. I didn’t do it often enough.
“Are you nervous?” I asked.
“A little,” admitted Tess. “I haven’t met a lot of shifters before. And you know I haven’t had good experiences with them. I’m sure your family is great, but I’ll have to see it to believe it.”
“That’s fair,” I said. “I wouldn’t be so trusting either, if I were you.”
We alternated between having robust conversations, switching off, and taking naps. We rolled through vast cornfields and wind energy farms, the monotonous road disappearing underneath. I had forgotten how boring the drive could be. But because it was so dull, it was relaxing. I felt at peace driving, my partner drowsing in the seat next to me.
Like most shifters, I came from a small town far away from any cities. It was a vestige of our time in the forest. Even today, only a minority of shifters lived in the city. Most of us were country folk. If I had stayed in my town, though, I wouldn’t be where I was today. My pack was full of good people, but I wanted something more than what my town could offer. In a way, Tess and I were similar. We had both run off to the city.
“We’re almost there,” I said to Tess, who woke up groggily. We were going to be staying in my parents’ guest bedroom, which used to be my bedroom. Now that my siblings and I had moved out, my parents had a lot of guest bedrooms.
“This house is really nice,” said Tess. “No one in my pack has a house this nice. Maybe the pack leader, if that.”
I felt a little uncomfortable. I knew Tess’ pack or family wasn’t as wealthy as mine. I had been lucky growing up; I had had a lot of opportunities. Not everyone was so fortunate.
“Well, it’s spacious,” I said. “It was a nice place to grow up.”
We pulled into the driveway. My mother immediately popped out, followed by my father. We stepped out of the car and I went up to hug them. I pulled away to introduce Tess though, aware that she was standing uncertainly behind me.
“So you’re Tess!” cried my mother, bringing her close and pulling her in for a hug, too. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
She smiled. It looked like she wasn’t used to this treatment. My dad nodded at her and we went inside, as my mother continued to beam at us.
“You didn’t tell me she was so pretty,” she said in a fake whisper. We all laughed. Tess blushed a little, but she looked pleased.
“That’s my Tess,” I said. “What’s that I smell cooking?”
“Your favorite roast chicken with herbs,” said my mother. I gave her a spontaneous hug.
“That was my favorite meal when I was a kid,” I explained to Tess. “We always ate it with corn and mashed potatoes.”
“Got those too!” My mother had disappeared into the kitchen, so I followed her. She was already setting out the dishes on the table. “It’s ready to eat now, so do you all want to help set the table?”
I helped Tess pick up some plates and silverware and took them to the dining room. I could see her peering around with great interest; we had a lot of decorations and family photos, and like Tess had said, she had never seen a house this big before. I wondered what her family home looked like.
Over dinner, my dad explained that the paperwork was easy and that we could even sit down with him and get it done tonight. He had brought some of the necessary forms from this office for us.
“Thanks so much, Dad,” I said. “It really means a lot.”
“I really appreciate it, Mr. Martell,” said Tess shyly.
“Call me Thomas! Of course I’d do this for you girls. You can’t imagine how excited we all are to have you as part of the family, Tess. It’s about
time Cecelia found a nice woman like you to settle down with.”
Dinner went well. My parents wanted to know all about Tess’ life, pack, and family. She was cagey about it, but they seemed to know when to back off. And of course, since they knew she was changing packs, they also knew there was a reason she was doing it.
After dinner, my father helped us with the forms like he had promised, and said he’d take them to the office tomorrow. They would be ready the following week and Tess would officially be a member of our pack.
I had made plans for us to hang out with some of my old friends as well as my siblings later that evening. We drove over to our favorite neighborhood bar, where I found some of them already gathered.
“This is Tess, everyone. And Tess, this is Sandra and Kelly, my younger sisters, Towson, Jena, and Allen.”
“Hey everyone,” she said. She seemed comfortable enough. I knew it must be overwhelming to be thrust into my life and to be meeting so many new people, but she was handling it well. I gave her shoulder a quick squeeze for reassurance.
“So, this is Tess,” said Sandra, appraising her. “You’re going to be our new sister-in-law.”
“Words spreads fast around here,” said Tess.
Sandra laughed. “We’re all so excited. You know shifters move faster than humans, so it’s always a bit of a surprise. I can’t believe that a few months ago, Cecelia had never thought she’d find anyone.”
“It’s true,” I said.
“Same,” said Tess. “I didn’t even think I wanted a serious relationship until I met Cecelia.”
“Funny how life works out, huh,” said Towson.
I was pleased to see that my friends were doing a great job integrating Tess into the group. Again, I was reminded that I was blessed to know so many great people. My friends were the kind of friends that I wanted to keep for life. I knew I’d always be able to count on them. We were like a strong, tightly knit pack within a pack. I supposed that Tess didn’t have anything like that, since she had no interest in communication with anyone from her old pack.
“Tess’ going to be joining our pack too,” I said a little more seriously. “We came down to get the paperwork sorted out with my dad.”