“Buy you a drink, soldier?” I offered. God, he was gorgeous. Too damn sexy. He squinted at me, and his lips gave a half grin before he shook his head.
“Take a seat,” his deep voice rumbled. His elbows on the bar, he looked like a regular, sitting like that. “I’ll get them.” He grabbed Alex’s attention and then looked at me. “You look good, sunshine.” His little nicknames were cute, and I liked them. But I couldn’t help but wonder if he used them because he couldn’t remember my name.
“Thanks.” Was I one of many? Maybe his new flavor for the day, and the nicknames were so no one in his little harem got offended by being called the wrong name. He ordered both of us both a diet Coke. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“You mentioned something about how you screech, I mean sing, at nine twenty-five, right? Every Thursday,” he teased, and I playfully punched his shoulder.
“Screech, huh?” I laughed, shaking my hair. “Very funny, soldier boy.” I got comfortable in my seat, and we sat there silently until after Alex brought us our drinks and I sipped my pop. “How was your week?”
“Busy.”
“That’s good.” Silence fell between us again, and I glanced at him, wondering if he was going to ask about my week, but he obviously wasn’t.
“I have to say I didn’t think you would come here again,” I laid out honestly.
I was never going to be a smooth operator, and I was okay with that. I was just me. He didn’t respond, and I wondered what the hell his game was. Instead of asking him, I looked around the bar, taking in the way it was filling up quickly, like it usually did around this time.
“Why is that?” he asked, and my eyes found their way back to his. There was something about the way he held his body. Tense, almost conflicted.
“I don’t know…” The olive-green and white-checkered short-sleeved button-up showed off his biceps, but I was not going to be distracted by the pretty packaging that was Garrett Wright. “I didn’t hear anything from you this week. This honestly doesn’t seem like it would be your local type of watering hole.”
“Why not? It’s good enough for you.”
“Oh, I don’t know, soldier boy. Maybe it’s this extra aura you have to you.”
“Extra aura?”
“Yeah, combined with the whole grouchy-old-man thing you have going on.”
“What does that even mean? Extra? Is this something I need to look up on urban dictionary because of my grouchy-old-man side?” he asked, clearly amused by me.
“Oh, please, like you’ve never heard that before.”
“I haven’t.”
“Somehow, I don’t believe that. It’s clear you aren’t from around here, Rocky.”
“Maybe I like karaoke.” he responded, and I couldn’t help it. I laughed. The idea of him being a karaoke fanatic was just too funny. “You don’t believe me?” he asked, and I pressed my lips together, shaking my head.
“Okay, fair enough. I’m not from around here.” He sighed, and I grinned.
“I know.”
“How can you be so sure, though?”
“Garrett.”
“Maybe I liked the drive.” He lifted and dropped one broad shoulder. I bit my lip and spoke without thinking.
“Or maybe you have a wife and three kids somewhere in… LA?” I guessed. A sinking feeling hit my stomach.
I didn’t want it to be true. But when things seemed too good to be true, they usually were. Oh God. Had I slept with a married man? Not that I had done anything dirty, but if I had been coveting someone’s man, I would hate myself.
“Wife and three kids, huh?” he repeated. His hand let go of his glass, and he turned his big body fully to me, giving me his undivided attention. “Never been married,” he shared, and just like that, my heart started beating again. “No kids either. Unless you count my niece.” I felt the heat of blushing on my cheeks blooming to life.
“Niece?”
“Yup. And a nephew coming soon,” he mumbled, and I smiled bigger. He was sharing something obviously important to him, but he was trying to make it seem like he couldn’t care less.
“Mazel tov,” I congratulated. He tipped his head at me.
“Look, Stefanie—”
“You do remember my name,” I accidently said out loud and shut my eyes in embarrassment. God, I am an idiot.
“Stef, look at me,” he gently pushed, and I peeked at him with one eye.
“Don’t mind me. I’m just a little spazzy.”
“You’re not spazzy,” he voiced. “You’re fucking cute,” he muttered, “and sweet and freaking funny.” His voice trailed off into nothing, and I felt the air change. It was like his mood went dark for a second, and I knew something was up.
“But?” I knew there was a but. There always was.
“I’m not that guy,” he stated clearly and honestly. I simply froze, a fake smile pasted on my face. I was used to being rejected by, well, everyone, but his one stung a little more.
“What guy?” I probed carefully, my mask set in place. I knew exactly what was coming.
“The kind you take home to Mom,” he spoke, and I blinked. Once. Twice.
The guy you take home to Mom. Funny choice of words to a girl like me.
“That’s fine with me.” I shrugged. I didn’t have a mom to take him home to anyhow.
“Sunshine, I don’t think you get what I’m saying here.” He was sweet; I had to give him that. Gently trying to let me down when the truth was easy.
“You’re not the forever type,” I bluntly filled in the blanks. “Or at least I don’t fill the bill for that. I get it better than you know. I’m not that type either,” I sadly confessed. No matter how much I had hoped that one day, I’d have my own fairy-tale ending, I knew better.
“Girl!” Kip bellowed from the far end of the bar and pointed toward the stage. It was time for me to sing, and I was grateful. I was grateful I had my out of this conversation and that I could give him his.
Looking at Garrett, I smiled. How couldn’t I? He was handsome in every sense of the word. But he was also so much more than a pretty face. He was like my own kind of puzzle. One I had wanted to figure out, but as was life, he wasn’t mine to keep. Maybe it was because I hadn’t slept with him or because I obviously wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. I knew better than to be stupid enough to let myself daydream about more.
But that was all I could have.
A daydream.
He was a sweet for coming all the way here from wherever the hell he was from. Even if it had been unnecessary. He could have saved himself the gas and just ghosted me. I would have almost preferred it.
“If you want me to be honest, I’m not a happily ever after believer. In my world, they don’t exist.”
“Stef—”
“I don’t believe in them. So, if you’re worried I’m going to want to take you home to Mommy Dearest and beg for a ring on my finger, I’m not that girl.”
“Baby—”
“Last week was... fun. The most I have—” ever had, I wanted to say, but I was sure I was already making an idiot of myself, “had in a long time.” That would make me less pathetic. “But I wasn’t asking you for more. I’m sorry if my note somehow seemed like I had. If you came here out of, I don’t know, pity, I’m good. I get it. It’s cool. I’m not your type. Don’t worry. I’m not going to have my heart broken or wasn’t fantasizing about you.” I totally had been. “It’s cool. Not pulling your leg here, G-Man. So, if that’s what this is, I would like it if you weren’t here when I come back. I’m a big girl, Garrett.”
“I didn’t mean it like—” he started to say, but I simply cut him off.
“Then stay if you didn’t. But if you did, have a safe drive home.” I winked and hopped off my barstool. I didn’t look back and did my own thing.
I started off karaoke night like I always did on a Thursday.
I did my thing up on stage, introducing myself, talking about the night
, explaining how it all worked. Then I chose my song for the night. Belting out Shake It Off by Taylor Swift could have been my life mantra, but more so today. After I was done, I dawdled a little more than usual. I called up those who had signed up to sing and hung out with some regulars.
What I didn’t do was glance toward the bar.
Not once.
Once I was sure I had let enough time go by and that karaoke night was running itself, I headed toward the bar. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but mostly, I shouldn’t have let myself feel the disappointment I did, but I couldn’t help it.
He was gone.
With every step, my heart thundered heavily in my chest, and I swallowed down sadness so thick I was afraid I would choke on it.
All at the sight of his empty seat.
Chapter Eight
Garrett
He watched her from his seat and drank his fucking diet Coke, wishing it were something stronger.
He was an idiot.
Something about her made him tongue tied and half stupid. Which was very unlike him. Not that he was fucking woman after woman, but he had never had issues charming the opposite sex. But with Stefanie and her easy smile and bright eyes, he never seemed to say the right thing around her.
Watching her sing, clearly enjoying herself after having put him in his place, he found himself watching her with so much admiration and respect, his throat tightened.
He didn’t deserve anyone half as beautiful and clean as she was. Suddenly, the walls were closing in on him, but instead of drowning himself in a bottle or finding someone to lash out at, he decided to step out to get some fresh air.
Stepping out into the warm spring air, he knew he wouldn’t find any relief out there, but it was better than the emotions he felt looking at her.
She captivated him.
No other words for it.
She had him under a damn spell, and it frightened him so much he wanted to get in his damn truck and leave. Run far and away from her, because at the end of the day, he knew he wasn’t any good for her.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he breathed in the scent of cigarette smoke in the air, his hands over his head. A damn cigarette sounded like heaven, but like booze, he was laying off. He wasn’t sure why, but he wasn’t letting himself go there. Not after letting those little shits kick his ass. Though if he was being honest, he couldn’t really regret it. It had led his life to the beautiful, sassy brunette with the voice of a dying cat.
Closing his eyes, he inhaled the nicotine-laced air while ignoring the heat and the small niggling voice that kept shouting at him to leave. To drive off and go on his merry way so he wouldn’t darken the life of the beautiful woman he couldn’t seem to wash away from his memory.
All he could see was her face.
The way she wore her heart on her sleeve. Every single emotion painted on her beautiful face, and he wasn’t even sure she knew. He really loved her smile. But then there was the way she looked when her eyes softened whenever he said something semi-sweet he really liked, too. As if he had surprised her somehow, and he liked that. The doors opened behind him, and he blinked his eyes open.
There she was. Like he had magically made her appear.
“You’re still here,” she breathed, surprise in her eyes. She took a step back and straightened her back, her gaze now teetering on apprehension. Instead of grabbing her in both his arms and never letting her go like he was dying to do, he shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
“I am.” He watched her intently. He was usually great at reading people. At that moment, he wished he weren’t. Her eyes were glassy and slightly sad. “Did you think I left?” he found himself wondering out loud, and it was like steel injected her spine.
“Does it matter?” she answered matter-of-factly, and he wanted to smile. Fuck, his little bit of sunshine was a firework, and he was sick enough in the head to love it.
Closing the space between them, he slipped his hand out of his pocket and grabbed hers. An indescribable heat and warmth rushed through him like it did whenever they touched.
“All I could think about was you this week,” he laid out honestly. Probably too honest, making her dizzy with mixed signals, but he couldn’t help it.
“Garrett—”
“I wanted to call you,” he admitted. Her eyes narrowed.
“For what?”
“For different reasons.”
“Like what?” she asked, leaning closer to him.
“Sit with me?” he asked, and her head nodded before he led them to a bench on the side of the bar. It was darker there, but she didn’t question it. This girl was going to be the death of him with her trusting ways. Even still, he had her sit on his lap, and she went along with him again.
“I wanted to hear your voice.” Her eyes widened and then went slightly suspicious.
“You don’t have to blow smoke up my—” she started to argue, but he cut her off.
“To see how your day was going. What you were doing…” His voice tapered off, and then he sighed. Looking into the beautiful pools of her eyes, he couldn’t help himself. He was stuck in a riptide of emotions, his and hers, and he needed to be honest. “To ask you if I could see you again.”
“You wanted to see me again?” Her eyes weren’t on his anymore. No. They were a little lower, and his lips tingled. Just like that, with a simple gaze at his mouth, she undid him. His body went into overdrive, and every thread of self-control was about to go out the window if she didn’t stop looking at him like a glass of ice-cold water in the middle of the Sahara.
“More than anything,” he admitted. She shook her head before leaving his lap, standing in front of him.
“Bullshit.” Her hip cocked out to the side before she placed one of her dainty hands at her waist and pointed toward the bar. “You just went in there and said—”
“I know. I know what I said, but—”
“Look, Garrett,”—she laughed humorlessly—“I don’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“The whole game thing you are doing.” He knew he deserved that. He was throwing mixed signals because he was fucking scared. “Which is a little surprising.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know, at your age, you should really know better,” she pointed out. He didn’t know whether to frown or laugh. Damn, he liked her.
“My age.”
“But what do I know? Right? I mean, maybe that’s why you’ve been single—“
“I was too busy before for a relationship,” he shared. Her brows came together. Cute little lines at her forehead formed. “I was in the army. I was discharged a couple of years ago,” he continued, and he realized he had shared a whole lot more with those few words than he had with any other woman since he had been stateside.
Three years. Three damn years of having to be on the sidelines, twiddling his damn fingers together, trying to figure out what the hell to do next with his life.
“I had planned on making a career of it and retire, but life“—and a roadside bomb—“had other plans for me.”
“Oh.” Her pretty lips were in an O, and he wanted to kiss her. Due to their height difference and where he sat, he could put his hands on her hips and pull her forward for their mouths to be at the perfect height.
Not yet.
“Admittedly, I’m a little rusty.”
“So, it’s been three years since you have been with anyone?” Her cheeks blushed furiously, and he shook his head.
“I never said that.” God, it was tempting to lie to her. To lie and let her believe he was some kind of amazing guy. But he couldn’t. “It’s been a while on that front.” That wasn’t a lie. It had been over six months since his last one-night stand.
“Oh.” She frowned. “But I don’t get it. Why the hot and cold—”
“You make me want more than a night.” He swallowed heavily.
He stood up. He needed to be closer to her.
H
e brought his body close enough to feel her warmth but far enough they wouldn’t touch. It seemed he liked to torture himself as well. His dick was hard, and his body held itself tightly. Every damn nerve was alive and awake and aching for more, but he didn’t give in. He could see the way her eyes were looking up at him, hazy with lust. He knew he could have gotten away with taking as much as he wanted, and she would have been all too happy to oblige.
But somehow, he found the stones to lean his head down low enough, so their foreheads could touch. Time slowed, dragging its feet, as he watched her close her eyes. He enjoyed the sight. She had no idea how tempting she was. She was just as busy as he was soaking in the moment.
“I have a room at the hotel,” he admitted and didn’t miss the way her breathing stuttered and the choppy way she inhaled. “I don’t know what it is about you, Stefanie. I want you there and I don’t, all at the same damn time.”
“Why don’t you want me there?” she asked, not opening her eyes, her breathing still jagged.
“You deserve better. I’m not the kind of man—” he started to remind her, but she raised a finger to his lips.
“Shh…” she whispered, and he watched her eyes open and rest on his gaze. “Why don’t you let me figure out what I deserve?”
“Sunshine, I take you to that room—” he started to warn, but he knew it was falling on deaf ears.
“You wouldn’t hurt me.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do.” She stepped back, and he straightened his back.
“Where are you—” But he didn’t have to ask.
She held her hand out for his, and he looked at it. His heart was thundering in his chest, drowning sound out in his ear.
He knew the moment he took her hand, it would be game over. There would be no turning back, and God help him if he ever tried. He had an inkling life as he knew it would never be the same.
Stefanie
I had no idea what bombshell goddess I was channeling, but I wasn’t going to question it.
I couldn’t.
Not when his big paw engulfed mine and made me feel small and dainty in one of the most beautiful ways ever. In a way I sure as heck could have never imagined being possible. Being small and making myself smaller had been a defense mechanism growing up. If I was out of sight, I was out of mind from whatever foster parent I had at the time.
CHEAT (Right Men Series Book 3) Page 6