“Baby,” she whispered back, her eyes on his lips. Damn, he could feel her gaze like a touch. She was hard to resist.
Why should I?
His lips touched hers. His intention was to only steal a small taste, but he should have known better. One taste and he was a goner. Deepening the kiss, he swallowed the sweet sounds she made, obviously becoming more awake by the second.
“Wow,” she dreamily sighed, giving him a bright smile with her eyes still closed. He felt an odd chuckle bubble up his chest. He laughed, a lot, when he was around her.
“Come on, my goof, let’s get you inside.” He tried to sound serious but knew she could hear the joy, the amusement in his voice when she peeked one eye open and quickly shut it, muttering something about unfairness under her breath.
“Yes, let’s get inside of me,” she joked. He laughed, loving the way her cheeks turned rosy. “I mean get me inside.” She grinned bright-eyed as she hopped out and looked up at him as if he had personally hung the stars in the sky just for her. “Carry me?”
“Carry you?”
“I’m tired.”
“Bossy thing, aren’t you?”
“But you like it.” She winked saucily. Without thinking, he felt another chuckle bubbled up, his chest rumbling. Something in her face changed. “I like it when you laugh,”
“Stefanie,” he warned. Something in the back of his neck prickled. Something about her tone and the softness in her eyes put him on alert. She had no idea how much she gave away.
“I do. I like it a lot.”
“Okay, sunshine, I think you’ve been up too long. It’s time for me to get you to bed.” He turned his back and crouched low, then looked up and over his shoulder. “You going to hop on?” Her squeal of delight broke something inside of him, but he was too busy helping boost her up to notice.
Stefanie
Waking up in the middle of the night wasn’t anything new for me. I’d done it for as long as I could remember. It didn’t take a psychiatrist to figure out why. Growing up, I didn’t have a stable roof over my head. Waking up to yelling matches and other things made me a light sleeper.
But sleep had been deeper since my bearded soldier had somewhat moved in with me. Not even during our overnight stays at the hotel had I slept like I did when we were in my home. I’d stir and wake, falling asleep quicker than I had in the past, but still, sleep had never been as peaceful as it had the last month.
There was something about him being in my home, Garrett wrapped around me, as if he was shielding me with his large, strong body from the outside world that helped put my mind at ease. That made me feel safe. Safe. I shook my head as I stared at the man currently snoring lightly in front of me.
His handsome face was serious. There were frown lines on his forehead. I carefully brought my hand up to smooth the lines out, smiling as his face leaned into my touch as if searching for me even in sleep. I couldn’t help myself. I leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose, something I didn’t think I dared do if he was awake, the gesture too cutesy for someone like him.
I was wide awake. Maybe it was everything Nicola had said still swimming in my head. I was worried, and if I was being honest, a little scared.
I had done the one thing I had promised myself I would never do.
I’d fallen in love.
I’d fallen in love with a surly, grumpy, selfless man who didn’t realize could be so damn sweet it gave me an honest to goodness toothache.
Dark eyes opened, and my body stilled. I’d been caught being a creeper. My hand was suspended right over his cheek. Without a thought, I opened my mouth and let the words I’d been thinking about drift right out my mouth.
“I love you.”
“What?” his deep voice rumbled, heavy with sleep.
I wondered if he was half awake. If there was any way I could take the words back, even if I didn’t necessarily feel like I wanted to. If there was any way he’d wake up tomorrow and not remember. If there was a way I could get my heart to stop thundering in my chest like it was trying to pop out and rip through my rib cage.
But I doubted it. His dark now focused eyes were on my mine, and I did what I was best at. Making a fool out of myself.
“I love you,” I repeated, digging myself deeper in a hole. It was better to let someone know how you felt. I braced, knowing exactly what would happen the second his hazy mind processed those words. The earth would collide with the sun, and the world would end. Dramatic much?
“Stef—” I put a finger on his lips. His hand moved to grab my wrist, but I didn’t stop.
I couldn’t.
He was going to leave.
I knew he would.
He was too good and way out of my league, so it was only a matter of time.
Garrett Wright came from an amazing group of people, and all I was, was a stop in his journey of finding a happily ever after of his own to match his brothers’. And as much as the idea of him ending his days with someone else hurt, I wanted it for him because he more than deserved it.
But as goofy and awkward as I was, I had an ugly part to me. I was selfish.
I needed him to know exactly how he had affected me and what an enormous difference he had made in my life.
A positive impact.
That he knew he was loved by someone other than those connected to him by blood or duty.
“I know I probably sound crazy.”
“Sometimes.” His lips did the half-smile twitch I’d come to recognize and cherish like a gift. One day, someone else would get the whole smile, but that half smile was the bigger accomplishment. I’d cracked him open somehow, and I didn’t take it for granted.
“I mean it. I—” I couldn’t get another word out because Garrett was part cheetah when he wanted to and moved us.
Before I could blink, I was flat on my back, his strong body hovering over me, but no part of his body touched me. He was looking at me, his upper body resting on his elbows as we stared into one another’s eyes. He didn’t say one word, his heat radiating and melting with mine, and with every second that ticked past, I was moving from freaked out about what I’d said to panicking over his silence.
“Garrett?” I willed myself to speak, to say something, anything.
“Say it again.” His voice was tight.
“Garrett.” I put my hand on his chest. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bring him closer or push him away.
If I pushed him away, I knew he’d let me. And the second he did, I would build something bigger than the Great Wall of China around my heart.
“Say it again,” he urged, and I licked my lips.
There was something about his eyes that should have scared me to death, they were so intense and ravenous. Something emanating from more than just his body heat and fear wasn’t at all what I was feeling.
My hands slid up from his chest, my body melting into the mattress, fingers digging into the muscles at his biceps. His skin was hot, as if it was on fire.
“Stef, say it again,” he demanded through gritted teeth.
“Garrett,” I whispered softly.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said as if reminding me, somehow knowing what I needed to hear.
“I love you.”
“So fucking sweet,” he growled, and that intensity that shining from his eyes moved through the room, making the air crackle and snap. “So goddamn sweet.” His nose nuzzled against mine as he lowered his body just enough for me to feel the hardness of his girthy length.
I opened my mouth to say something.
Anything.
But I couldn’t utter a word because his mouth touched mine and we ignited.
There was no slow build.
No sweetness in his kiss or mine.
Need inflamed, hands roamed, and his body pressed into mine. Spreading my thighs further, he sunk into me in one hard thrust. I gasped.
“Say it,” he grunted.
“I love you.” I sighed, the feel of his cock filling
me, stretching me. It was too good, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes.
“Open those pretty eyes for me, sunshine,” he coaxed. “Need to have your eyes on me. Need that pretty light on me.” Doing as he ordered, I looked up at him. Emotion lodged in my throat at what was looking back at me.
He slowed drastically, and I whimpered at the loss of his speed. I loved it when he worked me hard and deep. He usually built up to it. Never had he started off the bat like he had right then. The way he had been working me, he would have got me faster than I knew was possible. Greedy and selfish for both of us to find the relief of our orgasm, I dug the heels of my feet into his plump ass cheeks, pulling him back into me.
“Stef,” his voice rumbled against my lips as his eyes searched mine. Something more shined through, and I slid my hands up, touching his face.
“Garrett.” I whispered. He sunk in deep and didn’t move. “I love you,” I repeated softly. Something in his eyes told me everything he couldn’t seem to say.
With his forehead gently pressed against mine, he rocked back and forth inside of me.
Our eyes never wandered off one another.
His speed increased.
Little by little, his thrusts picked up, and I wrapped my body around his. Our breathing was labored. Sweat slicked our bodies as we kept moving forward. I gave everything to him I had somehow kept to myself. In those moments in the darkness, there were no longer two people with two separate hearts; there was only one being, beating together.
A tidal wave built higher and higher around us, our bodies taut and tense when it came down, washing through us, taking us over and under in intense pleasure as he emptied into me with nothing between us. Our hands clung to one another as we breathed and panted one another’s air.
I’d never known what coming home felt like.
Not really.
Not until that moment.
Chapter Sixteen
Garrett
He wiped the condensation off the mirror in the bathroom and looked at the reflection staring back at him. The man in it was the same one who stared back usually, but he wasn’t naïve enough to not notice the differences in the way he held himself. Like there was less weight on his shoulders. Looking away, no longer able to look at himself, he held the edge of the countertop and closed his eyes as he dipped his head down.
Too much shit was swirling in his head. It’d been over a week since his stupid idea of taking Stefanie to meet his family. Over a week since he had woken up in the middle of the night to her worried eyes on him and her confession of what she felt for him. Over a week since he’d made love to her. Over a week since she’d cracked him wide open and he’d almost slipped up and said too much to her.
He knew he shouldn’t have let her worm her way into the center of his soul. His soul, not his heart. Hell no, she had pulverized through there without him noticing. Over a week ago, he had let them fall into a bubble of sorts. Where he was pretending to be a normal everyday guy with everyday worries and doted on his perfect-as-fuck girlfriend.
The problem was, he was far from a normal and everyday type of guy. A knock at the bathroom door made him jump.
“Garrett?” she called out. He wiped his face and stood straight before he cleared his throat.
“Yeah.” He wrapped the towel around his waist and put his hand on the doorknob when she spoke again.
“I gotta get going. Will you be okay?” she asked, and he froze. Could she sense how off he was feeling?
“I’m good,” he said as he opened the door and looked down at her smiling face. Something in his gut twisted.
“You sure? You were a little tossy turn—”
“Did I wake you?” he asked, worried about not letting her rest and not acknowledging the fact she was right. His sleep had been fitful.
“No, no.” She shook her head warily. “You just seem, I don’t know, tired.” She shook her head again, obviously uncertain about how to talk to him. He hated it. “You sure you’re—”
“I’m fine,” he clipped and winced, hating having slightly raised his voice at her. “I have an appointment today. I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”
“Yeah.” She looked down at her hands on his chest. “How can it be fair to look like this?”
“Like what?”
“You know what.” She grinned, her fingers doodling shapes on his chest. “I wish you had woken me up. I would have washed your back,” she said, standing on the tips of her toes. He couldn’t resist her and pulled her in.
“I should have.” He kissed her forehead.
“Tomorrow?” she suggested, the light extremely bright. There wasn’t any way he could say no.
“Sounds good.” His hands moved to her hips, ignoring the perfect way they fit the curves of her body. Like she was made for him.
She was dressed in black wide-leg slacks, white tank, and a ridiculously bright green cardigan with her beautiful hair up in a neat ponytail. She looked like the sexiest fucking receptionist he had ever seen.
“I’m not a receptionist.” Fuck. He’d said it out loud. This was one of the many ways how being around her took him off kilter, just spewing shit without thinking. Thankfully, she seemed amused rather than insulted, and he was going to go with it.
“But let’s say if I ever wanted to role play,” he shrugged with a playful wink.
“I’d be the best administrative assistant for you, Mr. Wright.” She laughed against his mouth before quickly kissing him and moving away. He knew she was playing, but he liked her teasing him and obviously being open to playing.
“I might just take you up on that.” Her laughter kept going, and she shook her head.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
“Tonight.” He nodded and watched her leave.
Stepping back into the bathroom, he looked at himself in the mirror again. No one would ever think the man it reflected back had a war waging inside him. His mind was battling his heart, and he had no fucking clue how the hell one could win without fucking up the other.
_______________
“What did you think about her meeting your family?” Doc asked. Garrett’s knee wouldn’t stop from bouncing as he sat on the olive-green recliner he’d chosen to sit in.
“I think…” It was a stupid idea. “It went well.”
“Hmm…” His therapist was writing shit down. Garrett couldn’t deny how fucking antsy that made him. Like Doc was trying to figure out some deep, hidden message. Garrett pulled at the suddenly too tight collar of his tee shirt. “Just well?”
“It was good. They got along.” Too well. He had his mom hassling him about taking Stef to Montana, and the worst part was he could imagine her there. With me. Sharing his favorite place in the world. He found himself aching to see that land through her eyes. Imagining her face as she watched the sunset there.
“You had said you wanted to see both your worlds together.”
“I did,” he gritted through his teeth.
The two sides of him. The past and present. But now, the future was…
“And all you can say is it went well?” dear ole Doc pressed, and Garrett sighed, his body sinking deeper into the chair.
“My grandma was acting weird.”
“Weird?” Jesus. Was the guy just going to repeat everything he said?
“She was so fuc— fudging quiet.” He frowned. “And she is never quiet. Ever. All goddamn day she was like a stone.” A humorless laugh escaped him. “And you know what? I did what you said. I gave Stef a heads up about her. About how loud and inappropriate Nicola can and probably would be. Anyhow, I went to the bathroom for a break. I went in, splashed water like you recommended, did breathing exercises.”
“Okay. Did you feel like it worked?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged looking out the window of his shrink’s office. “It was good. I felt more…. centered.”
Centered.
He sounded like some kind of yoga-doing hippy.
“What happened when yo
u came out of the bathroom?”
“They were outside.”
“Everyone?”
“No. Stef and my grandma.”
“Okay.”
“They were talking. Donnie—”
“Your friend.”
“Yeah. He was watching them from the kitchen, keeping an eye on her.”
“That’s a good friend.”
“He can be, I guess.” He had always considered him more like Marc’s buddy than anything else, but thinking about it, it had been nice of the prick to watch out for his girl.
“You seem distracted,” he observed.
“She said she loved me.”
“I’m guessing it wasn’t your grandmother?” Doc grinned, and Garrett fought rolling his eyes.
“Right. Stefanie. We got home.”
“To her place.”
“Right.”
“And we went to bed. I woke up, and she was awake,” he shared.
“Does she usually wake up in the middle of the night?”
“No. I mean, I don’t know. I…” He swallowed hard. “I sleep pretty heavy when she’s there.”
“What did you say back?” the doctor asked, adjusting his thick, black-framed glasses as he looked at Garrett.
“I—” He had fucked her. No. He had made love to her. He was curbing on forty and had made love to a woman for the first time in his life. “I didn’t say anything,” he admitted, not missing the way Doc’s face seemed surprised.
“At all?”
“Right.” He hoped he had shown her. There was no way they had the connection they did, and she hadn’t felt what he’d tried to say by the way he had taken her.
“Okay, and she was okay?”
“Yeah. She seems to be. I mean, it’s been a week.”
“Right.”
“A week, Doc.” He shook his head. “She hasn’t said it again. We’re acting like nothing happened. Like…”
“She never said it?”
“Why hasn’t she said it again?” Garrett looked up at the doc, surprised the words were coming out.
“I don’t know.” He jotted something down in that notebook, then looked up at him. “Have you asked her?”
“No.” Hell no. Ask her why she hadn’t said it again? “Do I look like I talk about my feelings?”
CHEAT (Right Men Series Book 3) Page 15