Before long I was pushing my way through the doors leading through the medical wing. Stern voices shouted over someone’s pained wailing within one of the sick rooms. I felt instantly out of place. It was the doctors working on the surviving militia soldier.
Rushing to get away from the sound, I realized even as I shouldered Rune’s door open that he wouldn’t be there.
It was hardly a surprise to see the clean white linens of his bed perfectly folded, and still, the vacancy of the room was profound.
Rune was a soldier, a Dragoon. He had healed and now he was gone. He didn’t tell me he was leaving. Why should he? He had forfeited his own family and I meant volumes less to him than they did.
I was alone. No one here cared enough about me to help me, and that was something to drive into my stubborn mind. If I wanted to get back to the life where I mattered to people, I had to find the courage and strength to do it on my own.
Half of an hour slipped by while I stood there bolstering my resolve, staring at Rune’s painting of the white tree, stark against the maelstrom of angry elements. The bold picture filled the pale room. The tree was alone in the storm like I was, but it wasn’t broken, it wasn’t even bent.
I wouldn’t break either.
Opening the glass door, I walked out onto the balcony and looked at the beach that Dylan and I had raced across. I put my palms flat on the cold stone railing and watched the waves splash against the foot of the keep below me.
I had to jump. It was the lowest floor and tide was up. The fall wouldn’t be so bad. It was only twenty feet, but I’d never been in the sea before. The swells pushed and pulled at the boats so easily. How would I fare?
There would be no opportunity better than this one and I knew it. It was still early. Fishing boats dotted the bay. Maybe I could make it to a boat. Maybe no one would notice if I swam right to shore. If I wanted to be extra safe, I’d swim under the pier that connected the keep to land, even though anything could be lurking there. Confronting the mysterious water ghouls of my imagination were a small price to pay for freedom.
The morning’s chill prickled my skin but I didn’t notice it. My heart was pounding as I eyed the distance below me. As far as jumping off of things went, I’d done much, much worse.
The moment I was ready to hoist myself over the railing, I heard the door fly open behind me and I almost jumped out of my skin.
“So it is you!” Dylan said cheerfully. “A nurse was coming in to assist an operation and he said he saw someone of your description come in here. Personally, I didn’t think you’d be up this early. But here you are, and as lovely as ever.”
I sighed, trying to steady the shaking of my hands. He’d caught me, but it looked like he didn’t realize it.
“What are your nerves all worked up over?” he asked shrewdly, and then sent a skittering glance back at the room behind us. “Oh, right. I should have known. He’s gone and you’re upset.”
I looked back at the water and tried to relax. My escape failed but there had to be another way.
“Listen, Katelyn, I had an idea. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. You don’t want to tell me where you’re from. I don’t know why. I don’t believe that you’re a spy, or from the North, but why else wouldn’t you tell me? There must be a good reason and it could be something personal,” Dylan explained, sounding as though he was thinking aloud as much as he was talking to me.
I felt guilty that he had spent so much time worrying over me. Maybe that was irrational, considering the circumstances, but I wasn’t always a rational person.
“You won’t have to tell anyone where you came from though, if you stay,” he said, holding his hands up to stop me from protesting. “Stay here in Breakwater with me. If you were under oath to remain, you couldn’t possibly be any harm to us, and no one would force you to explain anything you didn’t want to.”
“How do you know? I’d still be a prisoner. I’d still be guarded and watched. What if your brother doesn’t agree with you?” I asked, shaking my head. It was a ridiculous thought. I was not going to stay in Breakwater. I was going to try and escape that very day, but I couldn’t let him know that.
“I’d take care of it,” he promised.
“And what if you weren’t around?”
He leaned closer and looked into my eyes, imploring me without words to agree. “I’ll always be here.”
I felt my heart give an unnaturally heavy thump in my chest, and reminded myself that he couldn’t hear it.
Who in their right mind would want to live in the Outside World? What kind of a life would it be, knowing that someday my children might be stolen away from me to serve in an Overlord’s army?
All I wanted was for things to be back to normal. I never thought I’d actually miss school, but I did. I missed everything about my normal life. This invitation of his was idiocy. It was difficult not to be distracted by his good looks though.
I remembered the girls I’d seen in the market place and the way the maids of the keep acted around him.
“Just stay with me. Be with me,” he implored softly.
“Dylan,” I said, meeting his eyes. “You only want to keep me around because I’m different… new.”
I’d shattered some of the pretense he was keeping. “And what’s wrong with that?” he asked frankly.
I was disgusted. “Everything is wrong with it. I’m not just going to be another girl you ignore when you’re bored with me.”
“So don’t be,” he leaned in flirtatiously.
“You don’t get it,” I said, moving away.
“No, Katelyn,” he said, his temper flaring. “I do get it! You’re all hung up over this idiot Dragoon. If you tried anything with him, if you broke the laws, they’d kill both of you. You know that, don’t you? No Dragoon in history has ever tried to tempt those odds.”
“I don’t like him that way,” I argued.
“Oh please, you’re turning me away. You can’t expect me to believe that it’s not because of someone else. What’s so special about him anyway?” he snapped at me. “What makes you so interested in someone who’s doomed in every aspect of his life? He’s a Dragoon. He’s hardly even human.”
I hadn’t been ready for Dylan’s outburst, but his accusations were beginning to grate on my nerves. I wasn’t interested in him or Rune.
“What do you mean, he’s hardly human?” I asked, trying to remain calm. I needed to think clearly.
“I was being sensitive. I thought this whole thing would blow over. I didn’t want to tell you the rotten truth about your friend, the Dragoon. When a Dragoon gains rank they do terrible things. In order to be a Junior Commander, a Dragoon has to drain the Ability of another Dragoon.
“When they drain the Ability, they also drain that person’s life. The sunken shell of the victim survives with hardly any brain function for about a day afterwards and for some reason there are never any bodies to bury.”
I blanched in horror. “He wouldn’t do that…”
“Wouldn’t he?” Dylan said crossing his arms smugly. “He’s always been an overachiever. Won’t be long now until someone decides to move him up a rank. If he doesn’t rank-up, he’s in the pool of Dragoons to be drained, and if they offer him Junior Commander and he can’t bring himself to drain the life out of some poor bastard, the Commanders will drain him. They take that Ability and life power and turn it into raw strength. Some say the transfer nearly doubles their lifespan. What Dragoon would turn that away?”
“So if he doesn’t kill someone? They’ll kill him?” I asked, horrified.
“That’s his only future. Or to die fighting Lurchers, or in the war, those are about the only options for Dragoons. If a Dragoon becomes a deserter or kills himself, a Commander will take a member of that Dragoon’s family and drain them. Even people like me, or people with no Ability at all have a little power to take. That kind of murder is considered Just Punishment. If Rune gains rank, he’ll be the one to do those things.
“You aren’t sorry. You told me all of this to spite me.”
“No. I told you all of this to pull you away from the dangerously fine line you’re walking. Forget about Rune. Everyone else has. He may have already drained someone. I’m telling you this because I care.”
“Because I’m different,” I corrected him, stubbornly.
“Yes. You are different. Yes, that’s why I like you so much. Not because you have the strangest accent I’ve ever heard, not because you’re from some far away country that you don’t want to talk about. Not even because of those perfect silver eyes. You’re different because you’re you. No one else could ever be you. There isn’t anything wrong with it.”
“You can’t have me just because you can have everyone else,” I said, feeling strange saying something like that. I really wasn’t used to being to openly pursued. It threw me off.
I almost felt sorry for Dylan. He had no idea that his looks and charm were no match for my desire to go home.
What he said about Rune was probably true. He’d never lied to me before. Rune was as much a stranger to me as anyone here. It was about time I faced the fact that the person I thought I knew was only the figment of a fever. Rune Thayer was not my friend.
“I’ll stay here, Dylan,” I said to him after the long quiet. “But there’s one condition.”
“Name it and I’ll pay it gladly,” came his eager response. He squared his shoulders and faced me directly, even using his posture to convince me of his sincerity.
“I need to get used to things. I can’t just feel comfortable about a decision this big right away,” I told him, taking a step back. “I think I might feel better about this if I could spend a little more time around town.”
His expression was a mystery to me. Was he surprised that was all I asked of him?
“Of course, Miss Kestrel.”
Chapter 20: Something Called Autumn
True to his word, the young Lord Axton had brought me out to visit the rest of Breakwater. I thought it strange that so many trees here had red and gold leaves. They fell from branches in such great number that it was almost impossible not to step on the street and hear a crunch. It was mild at first, but in the past few days, the change was so drastic that I figured there must be some kind of arboreal epidemic. The only unaffected plants were those with fan shaped leaves; I’d been told they were called palms.
“There’s so much water here,” I mused on our walk to the stables. “Why are the trees dying?”
“Hah!” Dylan laughed, and then stopped, dumbfounded when he realized I was being serious. “Wait, what?”
“Why are the trees dying?” I repeated, figuring he hadn’t heard me clearly.
“Katelyn, it’s autumn,” Dylan said, looking at me like I’d just sprouted antennae. “It’s the change of the season.”
“Like harvest season?” I asked in confusion.
“Sort of. The weather changes each season. Some trees lose their leaves in autumn to reserve energy for the cold winter. How can you not know that?”
“Where I’m from the weather hardly changes. It’s sunny most of the time and rains occasionally and that’s about it. Why? Is that weird?”
“Weird. Yes, very,” he chuckled dryly. “I know I just said I wouldn’t ask where you’re from anymore, but now I really want to know.”
Our arrival at the stables saved me from having to make a response. Even as we walked in, we were trounced by the same pack of children that had invaded the grounds on our last visit. Streamers and ribbons trailed from their clothes and hair, and they each held bunches more in their hands.
“Dylan!” they shouted excitedly.
“Oh it’s Dylan! He’s next!” one of them announced and they all rushed around him.
“Oh no,” Dylan said, turning ashen. “You are not tying those on me.”
“Please?” several of them cried at once.
“But your hair is long enough!” another shrewdly observed.
“No. Go on now,” he said irritably, trying to shoo them away from him. “Miss Katelyn could use ribbons I think. Get her instead.”
“Miss Katelyn!” they cried and swarmed me.
My protests were overwhelmed. This was not how I imagined the day of my escape. Little hands pulled me to sit on a side bench beside some cross ties and the children chortled something about me being the Queen of the Bay.
There was nothing I could do to get away. They laughed and joked, braiding red and yellow ribbons into my hair.
“You have such pretty hair!” one little girl said as she worked. “And these colors look nice with your scarf.”
Something about her light brown skin, glossy black hair and blue eyes were familiar to me, even though I knew I’d never seen her before. She looked just about my little brother’s age, six or seven, give or take a year.
“You’re Lina,” I said in revelation.
“Yup,” she answered, not seeming worried or confused that I’d known her name. “And you’re Miss Katelyn. I saw you here last time.”
I looked up to see what Dylan was doing. He was with the horses and a stable girl who looked like she wanted to smother him with affection. His cold, nonchalant body language kept her at bay. When he glanced to see if I was watching them, I pretended that I hadn’t seen anything. It was pretty clear that the girl was another of his past conquests.
I wasn’t jealous, I was just glad he wasn’t paying enough attention to hear me talk about Rune.
“Do you have a brother, Lina?” I asked, unable to reign in my curiosity.
“Rune!” she beamed happily. “He’s a Dragoon. He doesn’t say much to me when I say hello. Mum says that he doesn’t say anything to us because he loves us so much. Dragoons always protect their families by not saying anything. But I still say hi so that he doesn’t forget that I love him too.”
It was heartbreaking. I’d just begun to learn how ugly the life of a Dragoon was, and here was Rune’s little sister, the one he had mentioned when I had first met him. She would never get to know him. They weren’t allowed any connection. Maybe it was just as well. If he didn’t drain people of life and lose his humanity, he’d be drained himself or killed in battle.
When we had first met, he said that he had to be a Dragoon for his family. If he died, they’d take someone else. Dylan taught me what that meant, but the weight of it settled upon me while I sat with this kind little girl. Rune believed he had to live to protect his little sister. As long as he lived, they wouldn’t recruit children, and if he died, he’d blame himself for the consequences. Would little Lina be the one to be taken?
Their mother seemed cruelly indifferent when she spoke of Rune, but there was the scarf and the note that read, “No one is sorrier than me.” Now, according to Lina, she raised her daughter with the explanation that a Dragoon’s distance was kept out of love.
I wondered for the first time in my life if my real mother had left us because she loved us. Was there a worthy reason for her abandoning my father and me? I promised myself at that very moment that as soon as I returned home, I’d find out, I’d find her.
“Do you know my brother?” Lina asked with great interest, her eyes bright with anticipation.
I didn’t know what to tell her. I’d met two sides, and I honestly wasn’t sure which one was the real Rune Thayer.
“A little,” I said uneasily. Disappointment crept into her eyes and inspired me. I couldn’t help but say more. “When I met him he was very sick. He told me that you and your mom and dad were all very important to him. He said that he misses you all very much.”
Lina’s smile blossomed and she hugged my
arm and said, “That’s my big brother! I wish he could come fishing with us. ‘Da said he wasn’t very good at fishing but he was always funny to watch. If you talk to him, tell him that I caught a big fish. It was the size of my hand!”
She held out her palm with all five fingers splayed out as big as they could be. I couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“If I talk to him, I’ll tell him,” I promised and felt myself fill up with sadness for her.
“Thanks!” she bounced with a smile so big, it squeezed her eyes shut. “I like you Miss Katelyn, you act nice, you smell nice, and you don’t yell at us to go away,” she said matter-of-factly. “I just decided that we’ll be friends for a long time.”
Hello guilt, nice to see you again.
As if on cue, Dylan shooed the children. Lina hugged me before she left.
“You’ve done enough to her,” he said waving them off. “We don’t have all day for this.”
I touched the thin red and yellow ribbons that brightened my dark hair. The kids reminded me of the ones I knew in Rivermarch. They seemed like good little troublemakers. I couldn’t help but like them, and wondered how many of them would be forced to become Dragoons.
“She looks beautiful enough for a party!” one of the little girls announced.
“Queen of the Bay!” a boy cried out.
“Okay, enough of that,” Dylan said sternly.
The children flocked away from me, waving to us as they ran off. Lina was among them. As she disappeared around the corner, I felt sorry that I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise to her.
I was leaving, now.
My heart slammed in my chest to a measured rhythm and the world went slow. Adrenalin burned into my veins and made me feel dizzy. I wrapped my hand around Florian’s reins. I could see the readiness for action in his eyes. My tall grey horse stamped his foot, far more sensitive to me than my human companion was. I swung up into the saddle.
Haven (War of the Princes) Page 13